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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » The DM says: "OK, now you're a satanist." (Page 0)

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Author Topic: The DM says: "OK, now you're a satanist."
Synesthesia
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*has a headache from reading those*
It's stuff like that that just... arg >.<

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The Silverblue Sun
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I just sent my Jack Chick Parody to Equal Legit ( [Smile] )

I hope you like it.

<T>

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Geoffrey Card
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A classic Jack Chick quote:

"Don't make the mistake of believing that good people go to heaven and bad people go to hell. That's a LIE straight from the devil!"

[from "Happy Halloween" ... emphasis his]

Let me paraphrase that:

"Welcome to my sick little world, where God is a childish, narcissistic bastard who doesn't love you as much as he loves to hear his own name. There is no justice in the world, and the only way to avoid eternal pain is to get in good with the guy in charge."

Was Jack Chick's theology formulated in Stalin's Russia or something? Hmm ... well, he does owe his tracting methods to Chairman Mao ...

Sorry, this guy pisses me off once every six months or so, and threads like this give me the chance to vent about it [Smile]

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Eaquae Legit
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I checked my email, and it doesn't look like I have it. [Frown] Would you mind trying again?

eaquae_legit@hotmail.com

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fugu13
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Make sure you keep that filesize small, Thor, hotmail is picky.
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The Silverblue Sun
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How small?
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The Silverblue Sun
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I tried again. How small must the file be?
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Hobbes
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About 1MB. Your might not be able to compress your file enough. I can try hosting it, which would give me an excuse to try and figure out what my non-hotmail e-mail is. Give a few minutes and I'd be happy to host.

Hobbes [Smile]

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Hobbes
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OK Thor, give it a shot. This is a high school run service so the attachment is a chancy proposition but it technically should work.

wahra@babylonia.flatirons.org

Hobbes [Smile]

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The Silverblue Sun
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Ok hobbesy, but I'm warning me, mine better be funny for all the trouble this is taking!
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The Silverblue Sun
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It has been sent.

Did you get it?

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Eaquae Legit
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I've got it and it is now being posted. I'll put the link in the parody thread.
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Hobbes
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Yep, your parodoy is here.

By the way, thanks for testing out my e-mail Thor, I've put that off for about 4 months now. [Embarrassed] [Cool]

Hobbes [Smile]

[ July 28, 2003, 10:28 PM: Message edited by: Hobbes ]

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The Silverblue Sun
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No. Thank you.

Hobbes and Legit.

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sarcasticmuppet
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quote:
A classic Jack Chick quote:

"Don't make the mistake of believing that good people go to heaven and bad people go to hell. That's a LIE straight from the devil!"

[from "Happy Halloween" ... emphasis his]

Let me paraphrase that:

"Welcome to my sick little world, where God is a childish, narcissistic bastard who doesn't love you as much as he loves to hear his own name. There is no justice in the world, and the only way to avoid eternal pain is to get in good with the guy in charge."

Honestly, I sort of understand why some people are atheists. These fundi-'mentals' ruin religion for everyone!

LOVE the parody Thor! I think I might write one about pancakes. Not just any pancakes, mind you, but Pat's SPECIAL pancakes.

If only I can figure out how to copy a website onto a paint program and email it.

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WheatPuppet
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I think that instead of making parodies to mock these people--or maybe along with making parodies, because parodies are always fun [Wink] --we should come up with a well-worded essay in letter format to send. It will probably be futile, but, firstly, it might get a very interesting reply, and, secondly, we might actually shift their fortress of irrational beliefs slightly.

What to other people think?

If we're going to do this, I think we should have a bunch of core ideas that we want to cover, based on the tracks we've read and issues we want to bring forward. We could have several points, I'd personally like to see the following:

  • Roleplaying games -- I'm an RPG grayface through-and-through, of course I want to bring this up!
  • A defense of the LDS church -- I'm not a Mormon, but I like the Mormons and envy them in a few ways.
  • Flaws in faith -- Someone here must be able to point out the holes in scripture on the site. I know they're there, but I'm not versed enough to see them.
  • Closed worldview -- At least point out that there is no evidence that they're right and everyone else is wrong.
That's all I can think of for now, but I want to know if anyone else is interested. If a bunch of people sign their names, we'd at least be assured of a reply.
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fugu13
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WheatPuppet: I can assure you that people such as this receive hundreds of such letters yearly. It only strengthens their resolve, because it shows them how the "great Satan" feels threatened by their work.
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WheatPuppet
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Are you talking about websites or images?

Entire websites (including images) can be captured by going to File and hitting Save, and usually there's a "save recursive" option which grabs all the images and other files needed to make the page work. Then it's just picking apart HTML and poking at the images a little.

HTML is one of the most non-scary markup languages out there. Just open the html file in a text editor, and you'll figure it out, I bet.

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sarcasticmuppet
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fugu's right, wheat. Chick and Co. would burn it with all their other satanic paraphrenalia (dice, action figures, Spam, etc). Besides, if they admit to being wrong, their whole world would just collapse, and noone wants that...:::maintains straight face:::

What we should do is fight fire with fire. We should start our own comic. It worked in China, after all. [Wink]

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T. Analog Kid
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Back to Belle for a second, who has hit on one of my pet peeves... I'd just like to point out that you are actually understating your case by a great deal. In The Four Loves, C. S. Lewis points out that the husband is supposed to give himself up as Christ did for the church-- as lewis extrapolates: "the ideal Christian Marriage is the one most like a crucifixion of the husband" and "the fairer sex need begrudge us neither of these crowns [sexual dominance and headship of the house] for one is of paper and the other of thorns."

Drastic view perhaps, but much more in line with Paul's words than the Southern Baptist Convention.

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ak
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<laughs> I loved the suicide note best! That was so great! (In Tom's, I mean.)

[ July 29, 2003, 03:19 AM: Message edited by: ak ]

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Ethics Gradient
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TAK, do you actually have the entire Lewis (and Chesterton) canon memorised or do you just have copies ready to hand? I'm actually asking seriously as you quote both of them frequently and at length.
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Hobbes
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I have the entire name memorizied, does that count?

Hobbes [Smile]

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T. Analog Kid
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CLose to memorized, yes...

I'm missing a couple of Lewis, and I haven't read Chesterton's most famous stuff-- The Father Brown mysteries...

Chesterton, especially, is very quotable... more so even than Einstein.

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Belle
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TAK, I know what you're saying. There is no way I would trade my role in our marriage for my husband's. Things are as they are because they work best.

The conversation about pedicures was just supposed to be funny. [Smile] I try my little jokes out on people usually before I write them up, to make sure they are as amusing as I think they are. I can be biased, you know. [Razz]

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T. Analog Kid
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Oh, Belle, it *WAS* funny... it just happened to touch one of my favorite soapboxes... you know, the one where I get to pretend I'm a noble martyr hanging on the cross for my family when what I really want to do is say "bring me another beer, wench!" ;-)
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mackillian
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For those instances, I'd keep a stock of nonalcoholic beer. [Wink]
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Maccabeus
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I could do a few parodies if I knew how these were created. Those "faith-only" bits are seriously irksome.

{Flaws in faith -- Someone here must be able to point out the holes in scripture on the site. I know they're there, but I'm not versed enough to see them.}

Wheatpuppet, I doubt it will do any good, but if you really want to try it I'm up for this.

[ July 29, 2003, 12:57 PM: Message edited by: Maccabeus ]

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Jacare Sorridente
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Hobbes- I just e-mailed you a parody, if you wouldn't mind posting it. It was a great deal of fun to make.
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asQmh
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Maccabeus, they're not only holes, they're gaping caverns. He uses the hunt-n'-peck method of proof-texting as well as laughable sources, particularly for his creationist evangelism.

He makes me pretty ill. Didn't get to do my parody last night, but I should have time this afternoon.

What I can't stand is the way every single one of them ends with person A explaining (once) to person B "The Way Things Really Are"(tm) and Person B not only GETS IT, but with a vengeance. *poof* Instant "christian." Complete with Crusade Kit and double-genuflect action!

Q.

[ July 29, 2003, 01:18 PM: Message edited by: asQmh ]

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sarcasticmuppet
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It looks like almost all of the supposed 'victims' are either old ladies or young girls. Am I adding 'closet feminist' to my list of sins, or is this a valid point?
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Ryuko
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On another note, this is the longest-running thread I've ever started! Go me! [Evil Laugh] [Evil Laugh]

[ September 09, 2003, 01:56 AM: Message edited by: Ryuko ]

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T. Analog Kid
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Congrats Ryuko!

Q, LMAO... nice one...

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asQmh
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Donkeyshins, TAK . . . or whatever it is those Germans say. . . ^_^

I screwed up, though. Genuflecting, double or otherwise, would be frowned on. What I meant, of course, is that they each come equipped with their own 40 lb. study bible for guerilla evangelism. *thwap*

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Taalcon
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Hey, Catholics - you know that Jack Chick has PROOF that the Pope (and his secret commander, the "Black Pope") are the Beast and Antichrists? Read all about it here!
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Jacare Sorridente
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I knew those dirty catholics were up to something when I saw them buying bibles! What could be more despicable than a catholic with a new bible?
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twinky
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Reading through this thread has made me remember that TAK is a funny, funny man.

[Big Grin]

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T. Analog Kid
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OMG! Catholic Masons! that is too funny...

Thanks for the compliment, Twink!

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Jon Boy
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I love the part about how the Jesuits started Islam.
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Hobbes
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Jacare, I got your e-mail and I have all of your pictures on my computer now, along with a little html file to display them. However my ftp program isn't connecting to my website for some reason, so I'm going to restart and try to upload again. Assuming I get it to work, I'll post the link in the parody thread.

Hobbes [Smile]

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Maccabeus
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Reminds me of O.C. Lambert, one of our old preachers back in the 1950s. Lambert was hideously offended by Joseph McCarthy and his self-righteous anti-Communist crusade, so he wrote to some senators. He explained to them that McCarthy himself belonged to an organization dedicated to the overthrow of America and he had the documents to prove it.

Naturally the senators leaped on this--at the time, who wouldn't have? They asked him to send the documents pronto. He wrote back and asked where he should send the Roman Catholic books and papers.

When they didn't respond, he concluded, "The US Government is running scared of the Roman Catholic Church!"

Okay, it's pathetic, but it's still hilarious. [Big Grin]

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Jacare Sorridente
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Thanks Hobbes. You rule!
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Hobbes
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No I don't, because I can't get the ftp to work. Heck, I've even tried downloading a different ftp program and connecting from another computer but so far no luck. Which is werid because my mail all goes to the same folder I'm trying to acess (on the same server) and the mail is having no problems. [Mad]

Hobbes [Smile]

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Hobbes
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All right, I need to go for a few hours (to buy college stuff). I'm hoping that when I get back this will be working, or at least that I'll have gotten a response from the admin. Anyways, sorry about the delay.

Hobbes [Smile]

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Ryuko
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(bump for Macc)
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Hobbes
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This reminds me... Icarus, ever made that parody you promised us? [Wink] [Smile]

Hobbes [Smile]

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lcarus
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I stopped working on it because stupid Ralphie took the same strip and almost the identical concept! [Grumble]
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sarcasticmuppet
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here's something I whipped up last night
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skrika03
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sar mup, I don't know if that link is working [Dont Know]
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sarcasticmuppet
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It's a bmp image, so it might not work for everyone. dang.
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