posted
I went to the mall yesterday, and I was strolling through the length of the mall I noticed something quite odd. There were about 4 vehicles in the middle of the mall on display. What I'm wondering is, how do you get a car in the middle of the mall?? The doors aren't big enough...
Posts: 2756 | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
I expect that there is a loading dock somewhere in the facility, and that the the entrance from the dock to the mall proper is large enough to move a car through.
Or maybe it's really a type of toad stool that just looks like a car, and it sprouted there after that accident they had with the sprinkler system a few weeks ago.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Often, the main entrance doors are actually doors mounted in the equivalent of a swinging garage door, with bolts holding it in the "normally closed" position.
And when they are not, the doors&frame are designed to be easily disassembled and disconnected from the ceiling joist, floor, and exterior support beams. And equally easy to reassemble and reconnect.
posted
Actually, most malls today have faux roofs that are latched on in a couple of places. At night, they pop the latches and use 4 helicopters to life it, then a fifth to lower the car inside.
It's pretty amazing to watch, if you happen to be up at that hour.
Posts: 3956 | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
See, I heard that it was pixies. As long as the mall management remembers to leave a saucer of milk on the mall's doorstep, the pixies just shrink the car, push it into the mall (as everyone knows, pixies don't drive), and then enlarge it back to its original size.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
PSI, are you saying they could drive these cars into the bathrooms? What kind of sense would that make?
Posts: 4625 | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
NO, I didn't mean a loading dock. I meant something completely different. A place with a large concrete pad and big overhead doors used to bring in large items.
posted
Noemon is right about the shrinkage of the car, but there are no pixies involved. The truth is, everything in the mall is miniature size, so there was never any effort needed to push the car through.
The reason we see it full-size is a microscopically thin, clear veil that is put over our eyes as we walk through the entrance doors that make us see things larger than they are. How else do you explain young girls that wear short, short skirts? Or books with empty pages? Or CDs with only eight songs? Or decaf coffee?
Of course, this conspiracy runs deeper than the mall, but hopefully you now understand.
quote:Noemon, maybe there are loading bays somewhere, like, where we can't see them.
Now you're talkin' crazy talk!
Hey, you still owe me an email CT! If you've got time, I'd love to get some feedback on what I sent you.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
quote: The truth is, everything in the mall is miniature size, so there was never any effort needed to push the car through.
The reason we see it full-size is a microscopically thin, clear veil that is put over our eyes as we walk through the entrance doors that make us see things larger than they are
Well how come the Mall building looks so big from the outside, when we don't have the veil on our eyes?
Posts: 2756 | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged |
Pixies can't be bought, but they can be bribed. A saucer of milk left on your doorstep at night will generally do the trick. Also, be advised not to call you offering a payment, or they'll take off.
quote:Well how come the Mall building looks so big from the outside, when we don't have the veil on our eyes?
That's actually just an illusion caused when sunlight reflects against a chemical only emitted from big business.
Posts: 2292 | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged |
quote: Often, the main entrance doors are actually doors mounted in the equivalent of a swinging garage door, with bolts holding it in the "normally closed" position.
This is how the store I worked at was. If you hit the doors right, they swing open. It also is a safety thing, if there is a fire and people run at the doors, and miss the auto open sensor, they doors will pop open, and there will also be a wider opening than when the doors naturally open (since both the doors, and the glass panels next to the doors are on the same hinge.
Posts: 1901 | Registered: May 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
I favor the "assembled in the mall explanation". Unless your mall has an atrium with large glass windows. Then they can put a ramp up the side of the mall, drive the car through the windows (which are actually made of clear candy, with a sound effects foley) and a parachute is deployed so they aren't damaged on landing. The tough part is cleaning up all the candy pieces and getting new ones in place before opening.
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Noemon, I'll write tomorrow. I've been thinking about you, but I've been kind of stunned by having to have my cat put down this weekend (pancreatic cancer and in crisis ). I'm still gathering my thoughts, but I'm excited to see where you go with this.
You know, do you think there could be, like, a sort of "loading" area around back? Someone ought to make one of those, especially with all the loading and all that goes on.
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Can't run it (corrupted file?), found the discussion afterward tedious. I am difficult to amuse, callow boy, but you are welcome to continue trying.
Perhaps there was an area set up, distinct but still a part of the mall, a sort of place where one could load large items? Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Suddenly I realize I am very old. There is little about the late second and third decade of life which I find amusing anymore.
It isn't shocking, it isn't offensive, it's just ... tiresome. So much energy spent reinventing the wheel all over again.
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[The Wave]](graemlins/thewave.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
). I'm still gathering my thoughts, but I'm excited to see where you go with this.![[Smile]](smile.gif)
