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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » The Subtlety Stick. (Page 1)

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Author Topic: The Subtlety Stick.
Ralphie
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It appears that quite a few of you have been, at some point in your life, beaten mercilessly by The Obtuse Stick.

As an entirely altruistic act on my part, I shall set up a service wherein I also beat those who have been given the once over with The Obtuse Stick. Using an equal about of mercilessness, I shall beat you with The Subtlety Stick within an inch of your life, so help me God.

I do this because I'm caring, empathetic, and completely exasperated by all you stupid people not being able to catch on to even the most obvious parody and/or subtle joke.

As an added bonus, you don't even have to pay me. I do this out of the goodness of my heart.

Just remember: this is going to hurt you a lot more than it will hurt me.

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T_Smith
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Smack away, Ralphie. Smack away.
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katharina
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[Eek!]
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Derrell
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*gets in line*
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skillery
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*gets in line behind jebus*
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Jeni
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Everyone who posted angrily in Ralphie's LOTR thread should get a year's supply of free Subtlety Whacks.
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jebus202
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A Subtlety Stick? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of.
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Derrell
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jebus? I don't see jebus in line.
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Sal
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Ralphie, thank you! [Hail]

Both of your threads have me [ROFL]

<-- afraid his obtuseness wasn't subtle enough to earn Ralphie's shtick

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Lalo
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Wait, that's stupid. I tried making a Subtle Stick once, and it didn't work. I went around beating people all the time, and all it got me was a ride in a police car.

Why the hell are you lying, Toni? Those don't really exist.

And besides, when you do beat us, it's not because you're caring and empathetic. That's what daddy used to say. We're not dumb enough to fall for that one.

[edit: Apparently trying to play obtuse fails miserably. Though I understand why you'd have trouble understanding when I'm pretending.]

[ April 25, 2004, 07:14 PM: Message edited by: Lalo ]

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celia60
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Dude, stop trying to talk Ralphie back into retirement.
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Scott R
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For this crowd, a stick won't do.

You need a frellin' howitzer.

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lcarus
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Ralphie, I just want you to know that I've reported your post. It was insulting, condescending, and arrogant. Think of it as tough love. Honestly, I was very disappointed. It had been months since I had noticed one of your posts being so caustic and rude. I really thought you had turned over a new leaf.

*sigh*

[Frown]

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Primal Curve
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jebus with the subtlety.

Also, I enjoy the irony of a Subtle Stick. If you don't get it, I guess you need a beating.

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Ralphie
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Icarus - Oh. Okay.

For the rest of you.

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Megachirops
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I see Dan's eased up on your Photoshop restrictions . . .

(btw, I enjoyed the picture just to the right of that one on Google . . . [Big Grin] )

[ April 25, 2004, 09:52 PM: Message edited by: Megachirops ]

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TomDavidson
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"I do this because I'm caring, empathetic, and completely exasperated by all you stupid people not being able to catch on to even the most obvious parody and/or subtle joke."

You remember when I explained to you WHY I used the " [Wink] j/k" now?

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mr_porteiro_head
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I don't see the subtlety stick doing any good. I doubt I'd even notice if you hit me with it. [Smile]
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Jon Boy
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I registered the name Sarcasm to try to remedy the problem, too. Unfortunately, it was too much of a pain to switch usernames all the time, and it still didn't work. And really, I'm just too sarcastic too much of the time. The effect would've worn off.
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Megachirops
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Back then it was easier to switch back and forth between names.
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Jon Boy
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Yeah, I miss those days. But even then, it was a nuisance to sign in as Sarcasm every time I wanted to be sarcastic.
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Ralphie
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Tom - I'm trying to educate the masses by means of pain. Making the "j/k [Wink] " disclaimer is caving. CAVING, I say!
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jehovoid
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I think a good solution to your problem, Jon Boy, would be to use the Sarcasm name when you're actually being serious. That way, you only have to use it every now and then (since you're not serious most of the time), and it's a sarcastic use of the word sarcasm. How could you possibly top that? (except maybe using the word serious seriously)

And also, how come you never hear of people getting beaten with the pretty stick? Wouldn't that be the most miraculous/paradoxical beating you ever saw in your life? "Wow, she's so hot now, that must've really hurt."

[ April 26, 2004, 01:38 PM: Message edited by: jehovoid ]

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katharina
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Rory gets dressed up for prom. Mom tells her, "You got hit with the pretty stick."

It happens.

*can't wait for May 4*

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jehovoid
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Oh. I guess I should've posted that one under the screename, "Creative Idea Man," then.

Yet still, merely getting "hit" with the pretty stick does not convey the brutality of a "beating." Upon further consideration, I think that my point stands.

(Or better yet, a beauty stick. Perhaps if you got beat with enough force, say, the force that, with a conventional stick, would induce internal bleeding, then you would get inner beauty.)

[ April 26, 2004, 01:48 PM: Message edited by: jehovoid ]

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BannaOj
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beat away Ralphie beat away

AJ

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Anna
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Ralphie rawks.
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Yebor1
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Ralphie can beat me with any stick she wants.

[Hat]

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Ralphie
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quote:
And also, how come you never hear of people getting beaten with the pretty stick? Wouldn't that be the most miraculous/paradoxical beating you ever saw in your life? "Wow, she's so hot now, that must've really hurt."
d00d. I'm already in line.
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Dan_raven
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I don't get it. How can a stick be subtle? Its either a stick or it isn't. Its not like its a tree limb and suddenly you notice, hey, its not really connected to the tree. Its just a stick. I mean what does that have to...Ow! Why'd you hit me?
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Da_Goat
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I think we should turn this into a debate about corporal punishment.
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saxon75
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I think Ralphie needs to quit fishing for compliments when she clearly already knows that everyone here acknowledges and worships her hot-hottiness.
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Anna
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So what. Everybody loves compliments.
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saxon75
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*Thwaps Anna with the Subtlety Stick*
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Anna
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Ouch ! I though Ralphie was the only one able to do that !

[ April 26, 2004, 04:43 PM: Message edited by: Anna ]

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PSI Teleport
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Ralphie, you're going to need a subtlety log.
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Elizabeth
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I think someone mentioned this already, but I was thinking about it on the drive in to work this morning.

How can hitting someone with a subtlety stick be subtle? Wouldnt you not feel the hit, with the stick being so subtle and all?

On the other hand, I might be missing the subtlety of the subtlety of the subtlety stick. Is that what is happening here?

I have to add as well, that writing the word subtlety more than once is too much.

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Ralphie
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quote:
How can hitting someone with a subtlety stick be subtle? Wouldnt you not feel the hit, with the stick being so subtle and all?

It is a mystery wrapped in a conundrum.

Young grasshopper: when your knees are bumpy with the texture of the ground, and your cheeks are pink with the righteous paddle of the esoteric joke then, too, shall you know all the secrets of the Subtlety Stick.

Until then, stop [The Wave] my thread.

[ April 26, 2004, 08:20 PM: Message edited by: Ralphie ]

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Elizabeth
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I do not speak "smiley," sorry.
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imogen
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Forget the subtlety log, I'm thinking we should try and get a subtlety battering ram.
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Elizabeth
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Hmm. Maybe it should go the other way. A subtlety feather.
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imogen
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Ooh, I like that. Subtle tickles.
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Elizabeth
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Imogen, I miss your mad face!

(I can't believe I just said I missed a smiley. What is happening to me????)

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rivka
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*dances* YES! [Big Grin] Elizabeth, welcome to the fluffy side!
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jehovoid
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How about the Staff of Indifference (...ifference...rence...ce...)?

It could be all like:

"Do what you want with me. I care not. For I am the Staff of Indifference (...ifference...rence...ce...). Lean me against the wall, twirl me above your head, decorate me with feathers and macaroni shells. I tell you, it doesn't matter! ...Hey, what're you-- wait, the Staff of Indifference is not a lever for moving big boulders. Oww! I don't bend this far! Halt! Desist! I am the Staff of Indiff--" *snap*.

"I killed it! I killed my sale!" (Tommy Boy)

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imogen
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Me too Elizabeth.

But it was a one day only deal.

imogen [Mad]

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Elizabeth
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Ah, thank you.
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Ralphie
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Elizabeth. Is there something on your mind?

Subtlety is for humor, not for grudges.

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Jon Boy
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quote:
I think a good solution to your problem, Jon Boy, would be to use the Sarcasm name when you're actually being serious. That way, you only have to use it every now and then (since you're not serious most of the time), and it's a sarcastic use of the word sarcasm. How could you possibly top that? (except maybe using the word serious seriously)
I'm afraid that then irony would become . . . um . . . not irony, and not irony would become irony. Then where would we be? Well, I'll tell you where. We'd be in a world pretty much just like this one.
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imogen
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quote:
I'm afraid that then irony would become . . . um . . . not irony, and not irony would become irony. Then where would we be? Well, I'll tell you where. We'd be in a world pretty much just like this one.
Either that or you'd start finding black flies in your chardonnay.
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