posted
One of my recent assignments at work is to revise some old disease fact sheets for the department here. I've been writing them myself, using several resources, and then sending them on to a group of my co-workers for their input. Then, they're reviewed by the communications division and a couple of physicians in the department before I give them a final re-write for approval from the division chief. Whew.
I've just finished the final final draft of the first three agents, Anthrax, Brucellosis and Botulism. I've been very frustrated because I keep getting told to "dumb it down". These fact sheets are to be distributed to the public and are supposed to be written at a 6th to 8th grade reading level. One word that has been changed a lot by my reviewers is "adequate", as in "adequate sanitary facilities" or "inadequately preserved home canned produce". They told me to use "good" sanitary facilities and "poorly" preserved food. But that's NOT what I mean.
I have a daughter in 8th grade, and I asked her this morning if she knew what "adequate" means. Her answer was "ish" (which is her new response meaning "sort of"). When I pressed her to define it for me, she was pretty fuzzy on the actual meaning.
This is hard for me, because most of the time, I need to use more scientific language and need to be very specific about what I'm trying to say in my official reports and such. It's difficult for me to use such vague words as "good".
Some other terms that have been nixed are specific, characteristics, necessary, produced, accurately, contagious, transmission, essential, resembles, and adjacent.
Any suggestions for adjectives that are specific, but easily understandable by the lay public?
posted
I'd hate that job. I don't try to talk over people's heads, but if you don't know what a word I use means, GO GET A FREAKIN' DICTIONARY!! You might actually learn something.
Posts: 6394 | Registered: Dec 1999
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But yes - stop thinking like a literal, scientific person and go for the lowest common denominator.
-Trevor
Edit: Acceptable? Edit 2: Proper? Edit 3: I don't know if they're worried about people not understanding the contextual meaning rather than people not appreciating the impact of "adequate" and "inadequate" which lacks the emotive impact of "good" and "bad" or "poor".
posted
essential & necessary = needed resembles = looks like adjacent = next to
For adequate, could you detail, in small words, what makes sanitary facilities adequate? Words like clean, safe, etc.
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
Yeah, actually "adequate sanitary facilities" doesn't tell me what you're talking about. You could mean clean bathrooms, or you could mean a clean food packing plant. There's a world of difference between the two.
For: "inadequately preserved home canned produce" you could use "fruits and vegetables that people canned at home may not be safe because..." and then tell why.
By the way, I don't consider this "dumbing down."
Posts: 3735 | Registered: Mar 2002
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But that's NOT what I mean.
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