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This past weekend, my Beloved and I went to a housewarming party for/by a very nice couple who areclients of his. The host and hostess were the greatest, the house, the food... everything was wonderful. The Host kept introducing my Beloved as "the man who made it possible for us to buy this house." Really cool.
My resolution to keep my big mouth shut lasted four minutes. Can't help it. My theory is that, since I'm sorta cute, if I keep my mouth shut, people will never know how geeky I am. Heh.
The hostess is Puerto Rican, and the area has a very large, close-knit and affluent Hispanic community. I was one class short of a minor in Spanish (somme years ago), but I don't speak it much, after having lived and worked in places where I didn't need to use it for years at a time. My understanding of spoken Spanish is still very good, but the pathway from brain to mouth is much rustier than from ear to brain.
And I always had trouble understanding the Puerto Rican accent. They speak much faster than other Spanish speakers I've known.
Anyway, the party had a fair mix of people, mostly bilingual or English only speakers. Everyone was polite and tried to use English around those of us who didn't speak Spanish.
Until the Lady from Spain breezed in. Now, I have known more than one Spanish Lady of a Certain Social Standing - one was a sort of mentor for me in college. I have often witnessed such a person treating someone with practised disdain, but had never been on the receiving end.
We were saying our goodbyes to the hostess when Spanish Lady entered. The hostess introduced us, but the Lady kept speaking only Spanish, and told the hostess that her husband was in that business now, and that she should have used him instead of this little [word i didn't know, but from tone and context wasn't nice]. The hostess seemed distressed, but the Lady continued speaking as if we were not there. She presented a series of small housewarming gifts, explaining their significance ("A candle to give you light and warmth" that sort of thing). The Lady eventually began translating for us, when she saw that the hostess was doing it.
I was determined to ignore the insult as if I hadn't understood it and just play along. It would only make the hostess uncomfortable to know I understood what her friend had said.
Then the Lady gave the hostess a box of 'authentic French pastries from an authentic French Bakery, not immitation pastries from Publix.'
And I giggled. It was funny. What can I say? I was prepared for the mean, but the funny caught me by surprise.
The Lady looked at me in shock and said, "You understood that?!"
I smiled and nodded.
She spoke in English from then on. No longer any advantage in Spanish only.
This story is a bit self-indulgent, I know, but I just think it's amusing when people make assumptions like that. I mean, it's not like Spanish is some freaking secret code, right?
I know Hatrack must have some great NO Translation Needed stories, and I wanna hear 'em!Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Hehe... I know two girls who saw a fat woman abroad, and said in Hebrew "wow, that woman looks like a cow", and she turned around and said "MOOO"
This reminds me of the time that I went to my aunt and uncle in Germany. You see, even though she's Romanian and he's half Romanian, half German, they speak German between them. I've studied German, but I never managed to catch enough to start speaking properly. They knew this, but what they didn't know is that I still could understand part of what they were saying, and fill in the gaps where I didn't.
So, one evening, while we were dining, they were talking about me. I, of course, played the fool and just looked into my plate and ate. But after a couple of minutes my uncle stops, turns to me, laughs and then says in Romanian: "This little prick understands us! Don't you?" I laughed too, and told them that yeah, I understood most of it. There was nothing really important in what they said, but still, it was a really funny moment...
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I have heard so many stories like that. (And have a few myself.)
Conclusion: It's a really bad idea to assume people don't understand you when you are speaking a foreign language.
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The first time I was in France, a waiter complained loudly to another waiter, "Damn Americans. Half of them don't even try to speak the tongue, and the other half are so bad that you wish they wouldn't."
When he got to my table, I asked him "Would you prefer that I not try French, or would you prefer that I mangle it?"
His answer, I think, says a lot about French waiters: "Either way, you should regret it."
I've also been on tours where the guide will deliberately start the tour by saying something outrageous or funny in his native language, just to check to see if anyone was able to follow along. I'm curious what effect that has on his conversations later. *grin*
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My uncle was in the mall with five of six kids when a couple next to them starting talking about them in Dutch. My uncle, who went on his mission to Holland, turned and answered. Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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As two tall scandanavian-looking white girls walking around the streets of Brazil, my companion and I got a lot of this on my mission. This particular companion happened to be stunningly gorgeous, but actually, Brazilian men even hit on me. It just got worse when I was with her.
So one day, we walked past a bar...the 8th bar we had passed that day I think. Several men were sitting there getting drunk before midday and one of them turned to the other and said: "Nossa!! Estas Americanas são lindas de mais! O louco meu!! (turned to us) Hi!"
Translation: Wow! These americans are so pretty! Yowza! Hi!
He said it all in quick succession so that the "Hi" didn't even have a pause before it. When we turned the corner, I just collapsed against the wall, I was laughing so hard. That became one of our slogans and favorite stories to tell anyone that would listen. We would always say to each other "O louco meu! Hi!" and just die laughing. Posts: 6415 | Registered: Jul 2000
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My uncle went on his mission to Brazil when I was just a toddler. He lived in Utah, but stopped in NC to visit my family on his way back home. He was traveling with one of his former missionary companions who was also returning to the states.
He came back with a pretty deep tan and looked rather exotic to NC eyes. Somehow he got and his companion were able to arrange a tour of the local RJ Reynolds tobacco factory. My uncle pretended to not know any English, and his companion played translator. Apparently during the entire tour, the guide would expound on the efficiency of the plant and the fine points of their products which the translator would 'translate' into jokes and comments about how terrible tobacco was for you, trying to make my uncle crack. Apparently they had a great time and pulled off the whole hoax without a hitch. (of course, I was just a toddler at the time so I've had the benefit of multiple re-tellings of this story along with any possible embellishments. )
Posts: 6394 | Registered: Dec 1999
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When we were in Thailand, Christine and I were in store browsing, and the clerks were obviously talking about us. Our Thai wasn't good enough to actually understand what they were saying, but from what little we could piece together, and from their expressions, it was clear that it wasn't positive. Christine has this knack for accents--somehow, she's able to sound like a native speaker in any language she knows well enough to piece two words together, and as a result people commonly assume that she's fluent in their language even when all she knows how to do is ask where the bathrooms are. She approached the clerks and asked them something or other in perfect Thai. It was a lot of fun watching them blanch and then stammer out a reply.
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I don't have any funny stories, but I remember once before I knew any Japanese really, when all I'd known was from anime, I walked by a bunch of Japanese teens talking and was excited to find what they were talking about. It was just doing their laundry iirc, but I still felt good to know it.
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quote: Christine has this knack for accents--somehow, she's able to sound like a native speaker in any language she knows well enough to piece two words together, and as a result people commonly assume that she's fluent in their language even when all she knows how to do is ask where the bathrooms are.
I want to see her talk to an Israeli in Hebrew.
When someone from an English-speaking country goes to Israel and attempts to speak Hebrew, Israelis will answer in English no matter how good the English speaker's Hebrew is. When I was in Israel, there was a girl in my group who was born in Israel but her family moved to Canada when she was 6. She spoke fluent accented Hebrew, but she could not get any Israeli to speak to her in Hebrew when she was with the group. It was rather amusing.
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Noemon! I know about that 'knack'. My own Beloved has a perfect ear for language (and music, as it turns out). He found out that there were something like 15 different nationalities represented at our smallish college, and picked up greetings in every language he could. People really liked that he made the effort, and he sounded very authentic.
One of my favorite memories of college is when we walked past a Korean guy and Ron greeted him in Korean. The guy nodded and said, "Oh, Hi." Then he walked past and did the most honest double-take I have ever seen. It was priceless! Ron's 6'2" and very fair (rather unlike either of his parents - it comes from his great-grandparents, who are Swedish). He looks like a big Scott or Swede, like he should be carrying a cow on his shoulders or something.
Ron still uses many of the foreign greetings when he answers the phone, especially if he susupects it's a telemarketer. It discourages repeat calls.
Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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This is embarressing, but I have been on the other end of that.
I was on the phone for some tech support on one of our routers. This was like the 5th call in two weeks and for most of them, the accents were so thick that I had trouble understanding what they wanted me to do. Not a problem most of the time, but when they are telling you what to type and you can't understand it, it can be frustrating.
Anyway, so it'd had been quite a couple of weeks, I was stressed and tired and so while the woman put me on hold for something, I said to someone else in the office, "Why can't they find someone who speaks English?" All of a sudden the woman came back and said, "You should be glad we tried to learn your language at all!" I tried to lamely explain. I know that most ESL speakers speak better formed English than Americans. My mother is a perfect example of this. English was her 4th language. But she immediately transferred me and I never had a chance to apologize.
I wanted to die. Here I had become the arrogant, racist American. My mother laughed when I told her but I felt (and still feel) terrible.
So, uh, where do I go to get my white hood?
Posts: 1346 | Registered: Jun 1999
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when I was a baby, the lady who watched me while my mom was teaching was from Cuba. I called her Mamita. I actually spoke spanish before I spoke english. I'm also a TOTAL whitebread when it comes to looks. I'm Irish, so I have blonde/red hair and see-thru skin with the occasional freckle. NO ONE expects me to speak fluent spanish, even tho we live in Houston, where the latino population is greater than the caucasian.
I cannot tell you how many times I have gotten the most surprised/embarrassed looks - from men who were being lewd in an elevator to the lady taking orders at the local taqueria. It's hilarious. I particularly enjoy giving a guy what for when he's made nasty comments. Mention someone's mother and what SHE might think and they'll straighten up, turn red and apologize. Then the keep staring as you walk away and you hear "gringa" and "espanol?"
When I was a Freshmen, they made us do some strange things with out new student groups before school started. It was all about helping us 'form group identity', or so they said.
We had races where you rolled down a makeshift water-slide into a bunch of flour, and then ethe team had to race across a mud field by doing leapfrog.
Anyway, I was wearing old, baggy clothes, because I knew they'd be ruined. Baggy white capris and an old t-shirt - they were kinda ragged, but modest.
On the way down the hill to this messy, messy Thing We Had To Do, I hear some guys talking behind me in Spanish. About my butt.
I just turned and gave them a look. They still asked if I spoke Spanish, and I told them I spoke 'enough'. They were embarrassed, of course.
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Anybody heard or read David Sedaris' piece about riding the subway in Paris, and having an American couple assume that he was French, and bad mouth him in English for the entire ride? It's pretty funny stuff.
Ian, out of curiosity what was your mother's first language?
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I'm not sure what her first language was. She grew up in Eritrea (when it was part of Ethiopia) and is half Italian and half Tigre. So she grew up speaking Italian, Tigre, and Tigrinya. Which was first, I'm have no idea. She plays with Arabic (since Tigre is a semitic tongue there are real similarities), now.
Posts: 1346 | Registered: Jun 1999
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My Dad grew up in Algeria and once really shocked a French Arab clerk by answering his mocking English questions in perfect French and then again in Arabic. It was even more satisfying since he was dressed like a cowboy.
I was in Mexico with some friends in the market and having trouble finding the words to ask a lady if she knew where I could find plastic bubble wrap. A curmudgeony French tourist nearby made some rather loud remarks to his wife about stupid Americans not even trying to speak anything but English. I turned around and asked him in my not-so-shabby French, "Oh, excuse me? Do you speak Spanish? I'm trying to ask for plastic bubble wrap and could use a fluent translator."
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Ian, how did your mother come to live in the US, if you don't mind my asking? Is she a Witness also? Did she convert after coming to this country, or before (or was she raised in the faith)?
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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Understanding whether people speaking in another language are making fun of you is one of THE great reasons for learning that language, and I'm surprised that we never seem to be offered this impetus in high school...
I enjoy greatly spying on the American students here, who think I'm Israeli, and on the Israelis, who think I can't speak Hebrew. When Arabs and Russians are talking, I do my best to nod knowledgably Posts: 66 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Oh, I also liked sitting next to these two Moroccan students in one of my art history classes. They would banter in a weird mix of Arabic and French every day about how easy the class was and how bored they were. I waited a couple weeks before talking to them in French, and when I did they were a little taken aback. We became pretty good friends, though.
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My Dad was a Russian translator for the Army stationed in Ethiopia in the early 70's. They met and then married there. She was Catholic. While he was stationed in Germany, they started studying. Eventually my father stopped studying, but my mother continued (though not without opposition from her family). They moved back to my father's home in CO in 73. I was born a year later.
Posts: 1346 | Registered: Jun 1999
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I need to brush up on my Spanish. Jen's sister-in-law talks about things to her friend from Ecuador, and I can only make out about half of it. I do tease her that I can pick up on her scheming, though. Posts: 5422 | Registered: Dec 2001
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I use to be captain of a pool team, and one of the teams we played against was called "Latino Power", made up of all Spanish speaking Puerto Rican pool players. They were famous for illegally coaching their players in Spanish during matches by pretending to speak to someone on the sidelines really loudly.
Now, I don't speak or understand any Spanish, not really, but even I know basic numbers, so when they said in Spanish "No, shoot the one ball", I got the gist.
Also, I had been playing against their captain for years, Danny, and he was cool, but a little bit dicey.
Jenni, my wife, is a very white, blonde haired blue eyed woman of Swedish decent. So imagine what they looked like when I had Jenni walk up to their whole team and announce, loudly, that she had heard and understood every single word they had said, and that if it happened again that their team would forfeit all the points for the night, and probably be kicked out of league eventually if they didn't stop.
They looked like this:
This happens to Jenni a lot, as she was a Spanish major with a Japanese minor in college....she also speaks fluent Italian, French, and she also knows ASL. As a matter of fact she works at the Mass Relay Telecommunications for the Deaf, as a TTY operator.
She also has the knack of sounding like a native speaker...we ran in to her high school Italian teacher, and she went on and on about how jealous she was of Jenni's accent, even though she had been out of high school for 10 years at that point and had not used her Italian for years....
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I've always wanted to learn a foreign language. I took 2 years of Spanish in high school, but the teacher was also the cheerleading coach. She was far more concerned with new routines than actually teaching, so that was a bust. Taking engineering in college, I couldn't ever justify taking a foreign language when it wouldn't have counted toward my obscene amount of required credits.
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Nah...When Jenni comes home tonight I will have her post a few that happened to her. Some funny stuff, really.
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When I lived in Greece everyone assumed I was German. I have blonde hair, blue eyes, so the venders would all speak to me in German. I usually got a double take when I replied in Greek or English. The best were Greek taxi drivers. There are some taxi drivers that have meters that run quicker (to charge you more money) for tourists. So when my American, but German-looking self would get in a taxi, and see the meter going a little faster than it should...I'd tell them in Greek that I wasn't that stupid. That usually got a sputter of coughing. You gotta watch those guys. Oh, and my Greek is terrible, but there are some phrases I practices so that I could use them to keep from being cheated. Posts: 1735 | Registered: Mar 2001
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Gryphonesse, that sounds like me. I actually lost a lot of my Spanish when I went to school, but I understand a lot, and I know enough to make others realize I know what they're saying. My favorite story was when I was walking to work one day and some boys pulled up in their low-rider and started making salacious comments. I, of course, understood, turned to them, gave them the "Miss Anne look", and told them, in Spanish, that if they had any brains they wouldn't assume that anyone in Southern California didn't understand Spanish, and that furthermore, their mothers would be ashamed of them for talking to a woman like that. They looked mortified, apologized, and drove off very fast.
Of course, the story about other languages I like best was from my friend who served a mission to Japan. (Not really this exact type of story, no one was offended, but great.) She's tall, blue-eyed, very white, freckled. She was in Radio Shack, and some men were talking intently in Japanese, and one of them bumped into her in the narrow aisle. He apologized in Japanese, and she automatically responded, "No problem, it's fine"-- in Japanese. Then both of them turned around when they realized that it had been in Japanese! (Still in Japanese,) she said, "I'm sorry, I was just surprised to hear someone speak to me in Japanese!" He replied, "You surprised? I was much more surprised to hear Japanese from a white woman!" So they talked for a while about her mission to Japan, and-- here's the best part-- she had taught his mother, who lived in a tiny village outside Osaka!
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It's one of the reasons I really wish I was better at languages.
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That's great!
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I laughed too, and told them that yeah, I understood most of it. There was nothing really important in what they said, but still, it was a really funny moment...
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