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Author Topic: State Governments Allowed to Seize Breakfast
T_Smith
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(I'm reposting this from Pweb)

WASHINGTON - A city can take a persons breakfast or lunch for a state funded project designed to ease political tensions by providing for senators free breakfast and lunch, a divided Supreme Court ruled on Sunday.

By a 9-0 vote, the high court ruled constitutional the taking 20 assorted breakfasts and lunches belonging to 10 Moab, Utah residents for a project to sustain local political leaders, including Republican Senator, Orrin Hatch.

Justice John Paul Stevens said for the court that the project served a "public purpose" and that the court should not second guess the motives of other politicians. He added, looking at the local Denny's, that he "hopes someday this project expands to include court officials as well."

Local residents of Moab oppose the taking of their breakfast to provide a free lunch for senators. They argued that the judgement was unconstitutional, saying that there is no such thing as a free lunch in America.

Stevens expressed his feelings on the matter by explaining that politians work very hard spending tax dollars, and that they should not be burdened by such interoffice disputes of deciding whats for lunch. He exclaimed that a politician should have what he wants for lunch, and not have to wait for it to be prepared for them should they go to local resteraunts.

Stevens stated that benefitting senators could always put restrictions on the judgement.

The ruling could have national effects. The issue of free lunch and breakfast for politicians has arrisen across the nation as what to do when a politician needs substanance when running our country.

Many protestors have already begun voicing their concerns across America. Kellogs spokeswoman Kylie McDermut joined in the protest on Capitol Hill shouting "Leggo My Eggo, Washington!"

Denny's cook Michael Walton had this to say:

"America's freedoms are becoming toast. Our founding fathers created this country so that it's people could have life, liberty and the persuit of a Grand Slam Breakfast that only we could offer, without the interferrence of hungry senators."

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Telperion the Silver
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This is really wierd.
Don't they have paychecks? Shouldn't they just buy their own food?

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Vadon
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My, first we find out we don't really own our property, now we find out we don't own our meals...
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TheClone
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Pssst. Guys, this is satire. It's a play on imminent domain and how stupid it is.
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T_Smith
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Shhhh... if you don't say that aloud, it's a lot funnier.
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