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Ok well there is this great woman named Cindy. She is beautifull, awesome, fun, funny, and we always have great conversation and have fun hanging out. And she is like Dr. Jeckle and Mrs. Hyde. One day she is all over me, we hug and hold hands and kiss eachother when she goes to leave. The next day she is distant to me and i'm just another freind. Its been going on this way now for like two weeks. Me, her, and two of our mutual really good freinds are all regulars at this late night cafe called Cafe Aeon so we are always together everynight. Well yesterday night after Cindy left i went to Scott and said so what the hell, you guys are like best freinds, help me out here. And he tells me that she really really likes me but is afraid of hurting me. Its just like "oh hell." It makes me want to just confront her about the whole thing and tell her that i will worry about hurting me and smack her upside the side of the head. Its just so incredibly frustrating because I really like her and she has me standing on my head and doing back flips. And it angers me that she has to play this game and i will only fight this battle so long before i just go "fine, your the greatest women i know but i won't become your stalker" and walk away. So this is quite the dilemma. Help me.... Posts: 832 | Registered: Jan 2005
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One piece of advice from a woman. If you want advice from women, don't start by calling them dumb. Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Have you tried asking her out on a date? Just her and you? You could try that and see what happens.
Posts: 1918 | Registered: Mar 2005
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I apologize. It wasn't a blanket statement. It was just a thought and thats why I added the a/k/a.
Posts: 832 | Registered: Jan 2005
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Er... have you actually, you know, asked her out? Yes, she's sending mixed signals, but you're interested in her and you know she's interested in you. Maybe she's conflicted but that won't change if you continue to do nothing. If you're interested in dating, you need to tell her so. From her perspective, it probably looks like you're sending mixed signals as well. Clear that up by asking her out to dinner, or to something else that is clearly a date of the romantic type.
Edit: DK got there first. Posts: 10886 | Registered: Feb 2000
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Well in regards to dates. The thing is that i have my own place and she has come over like three times just her and me and hung out all night. And i asked her to "go out with me" in the will you be my girlfreind sence but she said she wanted to get to know me better. Well some things have happened since then that im not even sure i want to mention...and yet she is still playing the game.
Posts: 832 | Registered: Jan 2005
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You could start by not choosing a title suceptible to upset half of the human population. I would also recommand - a) real reflexion about a possible future together - b) if you think things could work, try to talk to her, privatedly, in an environment agreable and, of course, where no one can hear you. Because really, she's the only one susceptible to make her thoughts and feelings clear for you. Also, don't smack her. Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
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And as to asking her out on a romantic dinner i cant right now. I work until ten everynight and saturday night is the night our little group of freinds goes off and parties. Maybe for this friday...
Posts: 832 | Registered: Jan 2005
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No, those things aren't dates. The point of dates is to do exactly the sort of getting to know one another that she's saying she needs. You need to go on dates together in order to be able to decide if you want to turn it into a boyfriend/girlfriend thing. You jumped the gun by asking that question without dating first -- hanging out at your place doesn't count as dating unless you made her dinner or something. A date needs to be an "event" -- a meal, a visit to a museum, something.
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How about explain that you want to go out with her to get to know her better with the later option of possibly being girlfriend/boyfriend? After all these games, YOU might decide that it's not worth it. (Argh Twinky beat me)
Posts: 697 | Registered: Nov 2005
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The smacking was an expression more than a literal. Plus I cant tell you how many times a good punch/or slap has opened my eyes.
Posts: 832 | Registered: Jan 2005
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Also to the arghhh. Its true if you werent arghh life wouldnt be fun. I apoligize incase i insulted anyone and i already edited it once.
And I know I want to go out with her but maybe i should just ask her to dinner. The pathetic thing here is its usually me that is annoyed when other poeple talk about there drama. Sorry everybody.
Posts: 832 | Registered: Jan 2005
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Blinks in confusion, stubbles arround for a while, falls in a ditch, and twitches. *twitch* *twitch*
Posts: 832 | Registered: Jan 2005
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Is there anything she likes to do that you could do with her? I always like going running or swimming with a girl if she likes to work out. Or go to some exhibit on campus that you want to go to (i.e., not just something you think she'll like). I find that the more women you're friends with, the easier it is to strike up conversations with other women you may like.
I'm a hopeless romantic myself, but I think that romance is mainly something to look forward to as an added bonus while connecting with women. (I always get along well with women unless they're scared of every man they talk to, so just knowing women is a plus for me.)
Posts: 781 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Another thing....do the date rather than the group thing this weekend.
You can always meet up with them later if that is what you both want to do, but the one on one date is more important right now. Your friends will be there for most weekends regardless os if you begin actually dating, but she might not be if you wait too long.
Trust me, that is the voice of experience speaking. Posts: 15082 | Registered: Jul 2001
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Yeah, dude, what everyone else said. You need to make sure the two of you hang out one-on-one and that you actually go somewhere and do something. Maybe ditch the regular Saturday night party with friends and do something with just her instead? I mean, it's hard to know if you want to date someone until you know how he's going to act in a romantic setting.
-pH
Edit: Bah! Kwea beat me to it!
Posts: 9057 | Registered: Nov 2000
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Well actually this weekend is SCotts birthday not the regular party night. But im thinking friday is my best shot. Thanks for all the advice.
Posts: 832 | Registered: Jan 2005
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