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Author Topic: The Best of the Worst
Juxtapose
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What's the best really really bad movie you've ever seen? Take this anyway you like, but I really like a movie where the acting is the-actor-can't-remember-his-lines-horrible, the special effects involve toy models (and not good ones as in the original star wars), and insane technological references are used (see examples below)

My favorites are:

Shark Attack 2 & 3 - The shark constantly changes sizes (including a stint as a toy shark), and at one point people jump off their boat in fear.

Jack Frost II - The spirit of a serial killer is alive and well in the body of a snowman made with "genetically modified water." And this time, the scientific enhancements he's received for no apparant reason have rendered him immune to his only weakness: antifreeze.

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andi330
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Shag hands down. Although there is one really funny line in the whole movie. Two people wake up on a couch outside the house. The yard is trashed and the girl comments, "Oh my Gosh! I think somebody's been here!"
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Icarus
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As an adolescent I really liked Piranha, because of, um, all those boobies and buttocks in the pre-attack shots. [Blushing]
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Nell Gwyn
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The most horrendous one I've ever seen is When Women Had Tails. It's a very badly dubbed Italian movied that we rented out of morbid curiosity, and it's just completely ridiculous. And for some reason we watched the whole thing and were greatly amused by it. I guess it just had that train wreck quality. It's been at least 7-8 years since I saw it, but I still remember how appalling it was...I forget about most other bad movies I see.
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littlemissattitude
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The Doberman Gang. It was just really pretty bad. However, it was filmed in the town where I grew up and the bank that they robbed in the movie was my actual bank branch IRL. Seriously. Also, they had the premiere at a theatre in town (actually the only theatre at that time - it also appears in the movie), and I went to it. Can't quite remember how that happened now. Anyway, the real bank employees played bank employees in the movie, and several of them were sitting in the row behind me. So during those scenes, I got "Oh my God, there I am" screeched in my ears a number of times. The whole thing was hilarious.
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Avadaru
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FeardotCom.

My favorite part: the website that gives the movie its name is not, in fact www.fear.com, it's www.feardotcom.com. Redundant much?

This is the only movie that I've ever had ushers come and tell me and my friends that if we didn't quiet down, we would have to leave. We were laughing too hard.

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ricree101
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I tend to love the really bad natural disaster films. The Core and The Day After Tomorrow are two that come to mind.
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Juxtapose
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I'd tend towards saying that The Core and Day After Tomorrow are too good for this thread, but to each his/her own.

I also forgot to mention Zardoz! Two and a half hours of complete acid-tripiness. and it stars Sean Connery! Be drunk when you watch this movie.

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Lyrhawn
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I really liked The Core and Day After Tomorrow.

I don't think they were as bad as say, Deep Impact.

As far as bad old movies I still love to watch, hm. I don't know what others would consider bad or not. I love Krull, which is I think an 80's or early 90's sci fi flick. I can't really think of anything else that really comes off as bad that I like, I tend to think they're all good.

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airmanfour
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I almost walked out of The Ringer. There were times when Johnny Knoxville was acting "normally" and he could have been "acting" retarded. I actually got confused between the two personas.
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clod
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best: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

worst: Shakespeare in Love

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Lyrhawn
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Woah woah, wait a minute there.

You think Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade was the best of the WORST!?

WORST?

That movie rocks....

I don't even know how to respond to that...

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Juxtapose
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perhaps our friend clod was confused. We're looking for movies that are entertaining on the grounds that they are so bad as to be laughable. Either way, I'm somewhat confused. Some kind of argument is in order here.
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Scythrop
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I've got vague memories of a film called (I think) Hell comes to Frogtown I believe it had a pro wrestler as the leading man.

From memory he was playing the last fertile man on earth.

There was also a six foot mutant frog with a chainsaw.

I think it'd top my list

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Celaeno
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Anyone see the Cane Toads? With one guy pouting over his dead expensive cat and the old man sitting in the garden watching the cane toads mate...was that meant to be hilarious? It might belong on this list.
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Juxtapose
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quote:
A documentary detailing the spread of Hawaiian sugar-cane toads through Australia in a botched effort to introduce them as counter pests.
sounds fascinating....

quote:
I've got vague memories of a film called (I think) Hell comes to Frogtown I believe it had a pro wrestler as the leading man.

From memory he was playing the last fertile man on earth.

There was also a six foot mutant frog with a chainsaw.

I think it'd top my list

wow...just...wow
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ricree101
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quote:
Originally posted by Scythrop:
I've got vague memories of a film called (I think) Hell comes to Frogtown I believe it had a pro wrestler as the leading man.


Speaking of pro wrestlers, does anyone here remember Suburban Commando?
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Artemisia Tridentata
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Does anyone remember Claudia Cardinelli in 2 Millon BC. You finally realize that they can't put in any dialogue after 20 minutes of "uggs" and the Movie just got started.
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The Pixiest
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Redneck Zombies. The movie was almost unwatchable but I just loved the title. Oddly enough, both my hubby and I saw this movie before we ever met. So it's not as obscure as one would think. Filmed in "entrailvision"

Cannibal: The Musical. The south park kid's college movie. Some of the actors can't sing which is really a shame because Trey wrote some great music. If you listen to the commentary, you can hear them gnit pick their mistakes to death as they slowly get drunk.

PSYCHOS In Love. The ultimate "I have a confession to make. I'm a psycho killer." "ME TOO!" movie. They kinda get lost in the middle and I don't think they had an ending in mind when they started filming, but about the first half of the movie is classic in that really wonderfully bad way. "She was perfect.. (long description of her anatomy) (cut scene to him killing her) THEN I FOUND OUT SHE LIKED GRAPES!"

The Wizard of Speed and Time. Before computer special effects, the world had to rely on geniuses like Mike Jittlov for their movie magic. This is his story. "Three years in the making, Three days in the theatre".

Pix

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Fusiachi
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Killer Clowns from Outer Space is so terrible that it becomes a masterpiece.
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Ophelia
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I Was a Teenage Faust is hardly the worst movie I've ever seen, but I can't exactly call it good. Yet I enjoyed it immensely.

But it sounds like it was a better movie than those being discussed in this thread, so I'm not even sure it deserves a mention here.

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Chris Kidd
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How about Critters 1,2 and 3
and Night of the Comet
and Ice Pirates

[Laugh] [Blushing] [Dont Know] [Angst]

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smitty
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They Live! With Rowdy Roddy Piper! I love that movie, despite knowing it is a horrible, horrible movie!
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Tante Shvester
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You know what dreadful movie I love to pieces?

Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

I know that you love it, too, but you've got to admit that it is the worst film that you love.

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SC Carver
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Orgazmo

South Park guys: A mormon comes to Hollywood ends up staring in porn. (they use a stunt cock so he doesn't violate his principles) It was extremely stupid and probably offensive to mormons, but it came on late one night and we couldn't stop laughing. He has a ray gun that causes people to instantly have an orgasm.

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camus
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Stealth was predictably horrible, which made it more enjoyable to mock.

Even Mystery Science Theater couldn't save "Manos" Hands of Fate

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Celaeno
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Oh! What about Labyrinth?
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Carrie
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quote:
Originally posted by SC Carver:
Orgazmo

South Park guys: A mormon comes to Hollywood ends up staring in porn. (they use a stunt cock so he doesn't violate his principles) It was extremely stupid and probably offensive to mormons, but it came on late one night and we couldn't stop laughing. He has a ray gun that causes people to instantly have an orgasm.

I love this movie.
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Lyrhawn
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Haha, I love Suburban Commando, that's the one with Hulk Hogan right?

Dawn of the Dead strikes me as a good bad movie. Actually, most any horror movie strikes me that way, I think the grand majority of them are awful, but just bad enough to be funny without being unwatchable.

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theCrowsWife
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quote:
Originally posted by Artemisia Tridentata:
Does anyone remember Claudia Cardinelli in 2 Millon BC. You finally realize that they can't put in any dialogue after 20 minutes of "uggs" and the Movie just got started.

This reminds me of Caveman, except that the cavemen had a simple made-up language. Well, except for the vaguely Japanese-looking caveman, who spoke English.

The best part, though, was that we had taped the movie off of tv, and Gilbert Gottfried was hosting it. He was supposedly a cat psychiatrist treating his patient, "Otto" (a taxidermied cat). It was so stupid, but the movie just isn't the same without him. Unfortunately, that tape disappeared at some point.

--Mel

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Cashew
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This is the dumbest movie I have ever seen! Night of the Lepus

Editorial Reviews
Amazon.com
Whoever persuaded MGM to make a movie about giant, bloodthirsty bunnies must have been some kind of mad genius. Night of the Lepus features Stuart Whitman (star of such classics as Omega Cop and Demonoid, Messenger of Death) and Janet Leigh (whose career had taken a downturn from Psycho) as a pair of scientists who say things like "I wish I knew what the effects of this serum would be--let's hope it works" as they inject test rabbits with hormones that turn them into slavering, carnivorous giant bunnies. That's the plot; the rest of the movie is scenes of giant bunnies attacking horses, giant bunnies jumping through windows to attack people, giant bunnies running in herds down the freeway...lots and lots of giant bunnies, sometimes with blood smeared across their ferocious jaws as they rear up to attack. The special effects are breathtakingly cheap; the bloody corpses are actors with red syrup splashed over them. But what makes Night of the Lepus even more astonishing is that the dvd features dubbing in French, presumably for European viewers bored with their usual diet of Truffaut and Rohmer. In fact, the movie makes more sense in French (assuming you don't actually speak the language); you can pretend it was created by an inspired Surrealist, and that Janet Leigh says things like "My bicycle has wheels of cheese" or "Beauty kisses my savage earlobe," instead of "Rabbits aren't exactly Roy's bag." Also starring Rory Calhoun (Roller Blade Warriors: Taken by Force) and DeForest Kelley (Dr. McCoy on the original Star Trek), who wears several colorful turtlenecks. A camp classic. --Bret Fetzer

Description
Okay, movie fans. To all of you who like nothing better than to nuke some corn, dim the lights and settle in with cinematic mutations like gargantuan 'gators, fearsome frogs, awesome ants and monstrous moths, we quote this film: "Ladies and gentlemen, attention! There is a herd of killer rabbits headed this way!" A hormone intended to alter the breeding cycle of rabbits overrunning ranchlands instead turns them into flesh-eating, 150-pound monsters in Night of the Lepus. Stuart Whitman, Janet Leigh, Rory Calhoun and DeForest Kelley are among the intrepid humans facing the behemoth bunnies. They use guns, flames and dynamite to subtract them. But the rampaging rabbits know how to multiply. Can anything stop these hare-y scary monsters?

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Megan
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quote:
Originally posted by Celaeno:
Oh! What about Labyrinth?

[No No]

Labyrinth was an ok movie--maybe not a cinematic masterpiece, but certainly not deserving of this list.

Someone mentioned Night of the Comet? Cause that belongs on here somewhere. [Smile]

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erosomniac
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quote:
Labyrinth was an ok movie--maybe not a cinematic masterpiece, but certainly not deserving of this list.
Furry muppets throwing their heads around with psychedelic colors in the background plus David Bowie's highly over-emphasized sock-stuffed package = deserving of this list, IMO. [Big Grin]
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Celaeno
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Of course it wasn't a cinematic masterpiece; it was absolutely atrocious! But you have to admit, it was endlessly entertaining. That's why I added it to this list.
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Juxtapose
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Reeaaallly. I love Labyrinth. But Dance, Magic Dance? C'mon.
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JennaDean
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Saturday's Warriors. It feels really bad to me, and still makes me cry every time.

Of course, it's a Mormon movie, so it has an unfair advantage on being "best of the worst". [Smile]

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T_Smith
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The Terrasect was... bad, but good. I suppose the bad part of it was I was led to believe it was a sci fi movie on the level of The Matrix and Memento (exact quote: "it will challenge your perceptions on reality in the style of The Matrix and Memento") and was sorely disappointed. Even the beginning had my hopes high. But it was nothing scifi-ish at all. It was a nice story, good acting, but not interesting.
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skillery
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Bubba Ho-tep tops my list. This movie about Elvis versus the mummy even eclipses Swamp Thing, Adrienne Barbeau notwithstanding.
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advice for robots
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Ananconda was one of the worst movies I've ever watched.

And maybe that recent one with Adam Sandler and the prison football team. I got stuck with that one on the plane home from NYC.

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Derrell
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Would Spaced Invaders qualify for this list?
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Historian
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hmmmm...
Infra-Man
The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T.

on a side note
quote:
Originally posted by Juxtapose:
Reeaaallly. I love Labyrinth. But Dance, Magic Dance? C'mon.

There was a movie I saw recently that had a cover of "Magic Dance"... I'll have to think about it..

[ January 24, 2006, 10:35 PM: Message edited by: Historian ]

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Steev
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quote:
Originally posted by advice for robots:
And maybe that recent one with Adam Sandler and the prison football team. I got stuck with that one on the plane home from NYC.

The same thing happend to me too!

The worst movie I would vote for is this one:
http://movies.msn.com/movies/movie.aspx?m=114573

(Nightfall 1998; Kevin De Lullo, Director)


Now this one is so bad it isn't even listed in IMDB.com. At least I hope that's why it's not listed.

Anyway, my brother was the stunt driver for this one and although I oversaw and helped do some of the setup work for the big budget finale I decided that it would be best if I were left un-credited considering I wasn't paid a dime for it either. I think they gave my bother $100 or something.

I think the director was trying to create more that what he understood how to do. Needless to say, although I like saying it, the stunt didn't work as the director envisioned mainly because of their choice of cars. So they came up with a really convoluted way to blow up the car. Now, when a large late 70's model sedan (cop car) traveling approximately 40 miles per hour smashes directly into the side of a mid 80's model Japanese subcompact car, what happens to the subcompact? Would the 70's model sedan's rear gas take spring a leak the size of Niagara Falls and then explode? Answer: Sure. The Japanese car isn't going to do it. It was knocked 25 feet away on the grass. All you have left to work with now is the fact that it is the very nature of 70's model sedans to naturally explode when they hit something or go airborne. But that doesn't fly because this is the 90's. There must be a reason! So, they made a reason that was worse than if they had just let it explode on its own. But it has to explode dammit! It's the big cinematic moment!

I roll my eyes every time I think about it. And that's only the small part I was involved with. The rest of the movie is actually unwatchable.

Other things the movie has: 1) Some of the worst acting I've ever scene. 2) Some of the worst dialog I've ever heard. 3) More clichés than a big budget porn film. 4) And speaking of porn, they have this 5-minute shower scene that does nothing but show off the body of the director's girlfriend or something. It's like the film stops for 5 minutes or was it 30 minutes; it felt like an hour while we become unwilling participants to an act of voyeurism. And then, when nothing happens, we go back to watching a move wherein he have forgotten the story line at this point because we are trying to figure out why we just saw what we just saw.

Three words: "The film didn't work at all." (Ok, that was five words but they were very small ones.)

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ambyr
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The original Buffy movie?

I cried all the way through.

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Boris
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Army of Darkness. That is the absolute best HORRIBLE movie out there. It's great because it's just so freaking hilarious.
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human_2.0
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The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984)

I love that movie cause it is just ****out there****!

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Sterling
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"'End of discussion!'
'...Discussion? What discussion?'"-ABBAt8thD

Highlander 2, just because no one, but no one, in the theater was remotely taking it seriously.

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Tante Shvester
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The Secret Life of Plants is a docmentary about the secret life of plants. They apparently have consciousness, and if we try hard enough to communicate with them, they can testify at court trials, pick criminals out of a lineup, correctly describe the movements of distant stars, comets, etc. All fascinating stuff. And for some reason, interspersed throughout this movie, is Stevie Wonder, in a rowboat on a lake, no oars, just sitting and drifting and singing. It is not clear why he is doing this, or who put the blind guy in a rowboat with no oars. It might have been the plants.

Odd. Yet strangely compelling.

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The Pixiest
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Oh man, the original Buffy movie doesn't deserve to be on this list. It's not good enough.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a HUGE Buffy fan. I own all the seasons, even season 6. But OMG that movie was bad.

When I was buying season 4, MediaPlay was doing a give away. Buy season 4, get the original Buffy movie 100% FREE. So I was at the counter and the clerk was trying to give it to me and I was like "Uhh... No thanks.." Finally she convenced me to take it because it was free and what did I have to lose. So I thought "Maybe it's not as bad as I remember"

It was worse.

Pix

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