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Author Topic: Coke Safety Party
cheiros do ender
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I see the Australian political partys and think, they all want more or less the same thing, they've just got different priorities.

If it weren't for the life changing story I'm about to tell you, I'd probably think terrorism should be they're number one priority. But it seems the Liberals, whom I never really liked, are the only ones who think anything of that. And let's face it, it's not exactly their number one priority.

So I think their priorities are wrong. Not anything to do with terrorism, though. What I believe they should be most worried about, is the dangers of being in motion and trying to drink Coca-Cola at the same time.

I had an accident on my bike a few weeks back. My friend and I had consumed over two litres of Coca-Cola that day, and it wasn't even 3pm. No doubt we were hypo, but we weren't willing to admit it, that's for sure.

Riding along on my way home from the main suburb in the Shire where we'd gone to buy ice cream and coke, I found myself experiencing what I then realised must be happening all over the country without acknowledgement that we have a problem. I hit a trolley, you see, whilst head-up-high I sculled down the last of my beautiful Coca-Cola. I experienced a Coke Tragedy.

It hurt.

My dear friend ignorant as to my situation, riding away happily in his Coke-fuelled alertness, I lay there thinking: Whose fault was this?

It certainly wasn't my friend. He was well ahead of me when it happened.

Was it the fault of the person who'd left the trolley there, on a public path. Not that I crashed into it, I thought. After all, I'd seen it on the way there and opted not to move it (I always have moved them off paths since that day).

Before I could ask myself if it was my fault, my friend had arrived, helped me up, and picked up my empty coke bottle, ready to put it in the bin as soon as he was sure I was alright. I looked at it and wondered. Was it... Coca-Cola's fault?

Despite the unimaginable pain I was still in, I managed to slip into a daydream in which I sewd (sp?) the company for compensation. I was winning. My friend soon shook me back to reality.

I knew I couldn't sew them though. That just isn't right. It was my fault I had fallen, but it was Coke's fault too, I thought.

Whether I was wrong or not, it didn't matter. My friend agreed to walk the rest of the way, and we discussed my desire to make people more aware of drinking Coca-Cola whilst in motion. He was quick to agree, I thought, maybe a little too quick. But he made some good points too, and agreed to help me campaign.

Anyway, that friend has since been grounded for over a month, as far as I know, or maybe his parents just don't like me (long story). But yeah, the campaign died. Over at Ornery, and I know some of the people here are members there too, they've created a really cool political party website: www.concordparty.org.

That gave me the unbelievably original idea of creating a forum (proboards, free) to form a party that campaigns for Coke Tragedy awareness. Is anyone with me, or must I continue all alone in my struggle?

[ March 07, 2006, 03:30 PM: Message edited by: cheiros do ender ]

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pH
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I thought this was going to be a thread about nose candy and got all excited. [Frown]

-pH

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cheiros do ender
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Surely I'm not the only person who believes Coca-Cola is more dangerous than cocaine?
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Tatiana
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What's a trolley?

I'll vote for anyone who says "whilst".

I agree that Coke safety is an important knowledgebase that needs to be developed further. What do you have so far? All I know is not to drink coke while reading hatrack, because it burns the nose when you erupt in unexpected laughter and isn't good for your keyboard either.

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cheiros do ender
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A trolley.

I havn't thought about it for a while until now. Besides my friend being gone I now drink Pepsi. You know, just to be on the safe side. I'm not scared or anything.

Here's some things I don't think you shouldn't hold coke whilst doing:

- Obviously any communication because, as Tatiana mentioned it can cause spitting in shock or humour, and Coke and spit don't exactly mix.

- I asked my mum and she says you shouldn't smoke marijuana whilst drinkint Coke. Go figure.

- There's running. I know it's obvious, but there are some really stupid people out there, and it's them I'm most worried about.

I'm getting some ideas (psychically, as you do) about merchandise: Coke-related safety equipment. All profits go to charity of course, but the point is to make "User's" more safe. My situation makes me think elbow pads, knee pads, helmets, etc. would be good, but maybe too simple. On-body Coke placers would be good for when a User wants to wave, shake hands, etc. Then there's running and the fact that coke loses its shizzam! when u shake it too much. So some sort of shizzam!-retaining device would be good.

[ March 07, 2006, 04:59 PM: Message edited by: cheiros do ender ]

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cheiros do ender
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What exactly is the advantage of Political Partys (E.g. The Green) from different nations working together, besides the obvious similiar international goals. Or is that it?
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Uprooted
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No, this is a trolley.

What you showed us is a shopping cart.

(well, it is here in the U.S.!) And I think it probably takes an awful lot of Coke to miss it right in front of you! What were you riding on? Bicycles?
Oh, and the word you were looking for is sue.

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cheiros do ender
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Trolleys are called trams here. We also call them trolleys, but not as often.

Shopping carts are called trolleys here. We also call them shopping carts, but not as often.

I can be excused about the sueing thing since it's now 6:30am here. I was up all night. Not sure why. Guess I'm just really passionate about Coke Tragedy/Safety Awareness.

The reason I hit the trolley was because my head was up, as you do when drinking the last sweet morsels of that gift of the gods whose name I dare not speak. Well... at least for this paragraph. As usual, I had no hands on my, yes, bicycle. Just picture if you will what my fall actually looked like. I'm sure if it had been caught on film my campaign would have acheived a lot more by now.

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The Rabbit
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Here is the perfect song for your party.

Coke is the Drink of the Death Squads

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cheiros do ender
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Now that's a Coke Tragedy if I ever heard one. [Frown] If that is indeed a true story, will you join me in my campaign? I must say, if it is true, it's added a whole new dimension to it.
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JonnyNotSoBravo
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Perhaps you should sew this thread for making you relive this tragedy all over again.
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The Rabbit
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Yes, it is an absolutely true story (so far as I can determine). some links on the story
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