posted
I just had to tell you all about my dining shenanagins today. I went out to lunch with a friend at an unpretentious little neighborhood Mexican restaurant. I had my knife in my hand when the server brought me my plate. I am sure he gave the standard "hot plate" warning when he set it down (my friend says he did) but I was clearly not listening and was concentrating on whatever fascinating conversational point I was making.
So without thinking I just slid it over with my hand (the one holding the knife). Talk about knee-jerk reactions--or, in this case, hand-jerk reactions. That plate was hot, hot, hot. I yanked away my hand so fast and so without thinking that I literally thew the knife over my shoulder and across the room.
Can I tell you HOW GRATEFUL I am that no one was sitting or standing anywhere near where that knife went flying? (also very grateful this was not a date!)
I provided some true entertainment for the others in that restaurant, let me tell you. The ladies in the booth behind my friend were totally cracking up, as was my server.
Glad to be of service and give them their laugh for the day at my expense. Hope I have done the same for you. Posts: 3149 | Registered: Jul 2005
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I've done nearly that same thing before. Except it was a fork. With food on it. And I didn't have the good excuse of a hot plate. The Culinary Touretts jokes came fast and furious after that one.
Posts: 2827 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
OK, Dr. S., if there was no hot plate involved then what did cause you to fling your food-laden fork?
Posts: 3149 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
Once I was out at a diner with a girl I knew (not a date, thankfully) and we had ordered omelets.
Now, glass ketchup bottles being what they are, the ketchup often gets hydrolocked inside the bottle, as there is no air release valve on the bottom, to be sure.
There are many ways to solve this little problem, from beating the bottom of the bottle, to tapping it on the side, to sticking a knife in to break the surface tension.
I normally just grab the bottle, give it a brisk Orangina-esque shake with my wrist, and it comes out just fine.
Of course, this time, the previous user hadn't put the cap on very tightly. They must have rested it ever so gently on top of the bottle.
So, when I gave it a little shake, there was a linear splatter of ketchup from the wall two feet above my shoulder, across my chest and lap, across the table, and out onto the floor between two tables.
The only casualties were myself, my clothes, and the carpet.
And, of course, my ego. My friend thought the whole debacle was quite the hoot.
Posts: 3960 | Registered: Jul 2001
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quote:Originally posted by Uprooted: OK, Dr. S., if there was no hot plate involved then what did cause you to fling your food-laden fork?
When you're sleeping, do you ever wake up because of a loud noise, only to discover it was you punching or kicking the wall? Well, it was sorta like that. Except ... I was awake. With a fork in my hand. I forget what I was thinking about, but all of a sudden I just reacted, and there went the fork, the food, and my dignity.
Like I said, a case of severe CTS. Culinary Touretts Syndrome. Or if you want a broader description, ATS. Anatomical Touretts Syndrome. But that might be construed awkwardly.
Posts: 2827 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
I was with my friend in a Wal*Mart, of all places. We were walking toward the auto parts section and I stopped off at the knife counter in sporting goods. I engaged the charming blonde girl behind the counter in idle chat while I looked over the knives. Wanting to impress her and to show off for my friend, I pull my pocket knife and attempt to open it with a flick my wrist. Instead I send it hurtling towards my feet, blade out. Luckily it didn't stick me, but it is safe to say no one was impressed with my performance.
Posts: 6683 | Registered: Jun 2005
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quote:Now, glass ketchup bottles being what they are, the ketchup often gets hydrolocked inside the bottle, as there is no air release valve on the bottom, to be sure.
There are many ways to solve this little problem, from beating the bottom of the bottle, to tapping it on the side, to sticking a knife in to break the surface tension.
I normally just grab the bottle, give it a brisk Orangina-esque shake with my wrist, and it comes out just fine.
The proper thing to do is to always check the cap, shake it, and then dislodge it if it is still trapped by holding it over the food/plate at a 45 degree angle and tapping the middle of the neck briskly.
*mutters* People these days... Wasting perfectly good ketchup...
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
FC, your story reminds me of a story from my college days.
I had an English professor who was . . . well, sort of inscrutable. The dark, brooding type, rather dignified, not at all forthcoming and chatty.
One time he gave us some sort of observational writing assignment, as I recall--report on an experience you observe.
He then told the following story. Once upon a time, he was eating in the CougarEat (BYU's huge cafeteria, at the time; it was totally different in those days from the food court it is today). He was sitting at the table and trying to get ketchup out of one of those squeezable plastic bottles. He shook and shook and squeezed and squeezed. And finally, of course, the plastic top blew off the squeeze bottle and dumped ALL the ketchup all over his plate and tray. He looked around surreptiously; no one had noticed, he decided with relief, as he cleaned up his plate and made the best of the situation.
So, several days or weeks later, he was grading a stack of papers--it was the same observational writing assignment he had just assigned to us. And in one of the papers, he read a detailed description of his previously related embarrassing moment. Apparently, one of his students had witnessed the whole thing.
"I had to give her an A," he said in a grumpy tone of voice. That was probably the one time he let us see any vulnerability in him. Then, later, I came across a short story he'd written in an anthology. It was beautiful, tender, very sweet. Funny how I never once saw that side of him as a teacher. I was actually pretty much intimidated by him.
Posts: 3149 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
I was eating at a restaurant that had little candles in the center of the table. While reading the paper, I managed to catch it on fire.
This is embarassing for my sister's cat, not me. Last year I was having dinner at my sister's with a small group. Including several dogs and cats. Two dogs scared a cat up onto a window ledge behind me, where there was a candle. Suddenly my sister started screaming "Cat! Cat! Fire!" I couldn't figure out what she was gibbering about. Then I turned around and saw that the cat had backed into the candle and set it's tail on fire! Then someone else who saw it threw water on the cat, who wasn't badly injured.
Posts: 6316 | Registered: Jun 2003
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posted
Nash has a tendency to put a tea bag in in a glass of water and put the whole thing in the mircowave. Sometimes he turns it on and forgets about it and the tea sits there for hours.
Well, one night he had the tea going, but this particular teabag had a little staple in it and a tag stapled to the string. Microwaves don't like metal. He was standing about 15 feet away, between me and the microwave. I looked over and saw sparks, then flame as the sparks ignited the paper tag. I pointed and screamed, "Tea! Fire! Metal in the ..." Everyone stared at me, think I was just having a seizure or something.
Posts: 9293 | Registered: Aug 2000
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