posted
Don't know why I'm posting this, even. Not looking for advice or some such, though that would be nice enough. I just gotta get this out, gotta talk about it.
A dear friend of mine recently got married. She is seventeen, and so this was only the Sikh religous ceremony, not a legal marriage. She can't have the legal marriage ceremony without her parents' consent--which she's unlikely to get--until she's eighteen, and so there was a wedding planned for this summer. A few of my best friends were going to be her bridesmaids.
This friend of mine, she's been through a lot of crap in seventeen years, more than the vast majority of people have to deal with in a lifetime. Terrible, difficult things that no one should have to live with. And yet she has stayed strong through all of them, she's kept herself going. And she's never lost herself, despite depression and so on spurred by some of the more difficult episodes of her life.
The gent she married, she's practically been in love with him--and he with her--since age two. Always planned they'd get married. He's done incredible things too--in one instance, literally taking a bullet for her. I saw her just this Wednesday happier than I've ever seen her before. They got married on Saturday up north, and then she came down here to her apartment on campus while he stayed behind, so they only had the weekend and a couple days together after the wedding.
On Thursday night, her husband was hit by a drunk driver and killed.
I don't even know what to think of all this. I've never even met the guy. And of all the people in the world who deserve a bit of happiness, a bit of joy, she was one of the most deserving. I remember saying that this marriage was what she should finally be allowed to have, so that she could finally get some happiness from life with someone who loved her. This is what she deserved: to be married to the man she loves and who loves her all her life and to live as happily as anyone can.
So how in all hell does she deserve this? How does she deserve to become a widow less than a week after she becomes a wife? She's not even eighteen, for God's sake! What kind of world is it where that happens? She married him, spent a few days with him, came down here, and then the next time she say him was at the funeral. Where is the justice in the world? This isn't supposed to happen.
I think we're all sort of in shock. We--her friends, that is--got the news as we were backstage waiting to perform last night. Tried to call her, but she's at the funeral. Another friend--who was to be her maid of honor--has been taking care of her as well as she can. We're going to do whatever we can for her, and ask that God does the rest. One part of me says she's a strong girl and she'll bounce back from this; the other wonders if this could be her breaking point.
And I just keep remembering sitting across the table from her Wednesday, asking if we were allowed to scare him a bit when we were to meet him, just to make sure no husband of hers was the type to scare easy. We were going to be going over to her apartment to meet him over lunch today.
Posts: 1735 | Registered: Oct 2004
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And they weren't even legally married, so she doesn't have any right to his last name, or any of his belongings, nor is she technically a widow. Does she have a good relationship with his parents? If her own parents are less than helpful, maybe staying in touch with his family would be good for her.
Posts: 1014 | Registered: Jul 2005
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