posted
I have to go for my first gynecologist exam today.
Well, technically it's not my first. But it will be the first one that is actually COMPLETED.
The last time I went, she couldn't even finish the pelvic exam because it hurt me so badly that I was in tears and begging her to stop.
I had to take 2mg Ativan just to get to sleep last night. I was crying uncontrollably. Then when I drove to the hospital, I burst into tears in the parking lot and had to take another. Then I started crying in the waiting room.
On top of all that, they SENT ME HOME because they're running behind and can't take my appointment until 2:30 because I'm a new patient. Oh, and they gave me flak about being unemployed and having no insurance. They told me I'd have to put down a deposit. I told them to just tell me what the full amount is, and I'll pay it right there. So when (IF, really) I go back, I'll gave that happy fun time to handle.
So now I get to stew at home and try to convince myself to show up again.
It drives me up a wall that doctors I've talked to and my mom and stuff are all, "Oh no, you're blowing this out of proportion. It's just a little uncomfortable. It doesn't HURT."
posted
I remember a friend of mine talking about how much a pelvic exam hurt her (before I had my first). I was terrified, and when I actually had one, I was surprised to find out that it didn't hurt at all.
Is it possible that you haven't stretched/torn your hymen yet? If you have, then I think I would talk to your gynecologist about the pain. I don't think that should be happening.
Posts: 1903 | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Are you going to the same doctor this time that you went to last time? I would ask around and get some recommendations. Technique definitely makes a difference--it will be more painful with some doctors than with others.
At the very least, you need a doctor (or nurse practitioner, or whoever) who understands that the more tense and upset you are, the more it hurts, and does his or her best to be calming and relaxing and help you keep your mind off it.
Hugs, pH. Enjoy the pizza. I hope this isn't too traumatic. Play soft music and do whatever is relaxing between now and then.
Posts: 3149 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
I've had a bad gyne exam that hurt. >_< But most have been really good. And yeah, it really does depend on bedside manner. The one that hurt had awful bedside manner.
A good doctor will understand how hard the exam can be for some women, especially if it is their first exam. I was lucky and had a GREAT doctor for my first. She went slow, explained everything she was doing, and kept up a constant stream of conversation. That may sound uncomfortable, to be talking while you're being examined, but because I was trying to formulate responses to her questions, I completely forgot about being nervous.
I would definitely tell the doctor how nervous you are. Is there anything you think would make you feel more comfortable? At my clinc, they always have a nurse in the room, especially if it's a male doctor. Would that make you more comfortable?
Heck, one time I had to go for a pelvic ultrasound, and I asked a friend to come with. She stood outside the exam room door while it was going on. Just having her there was helpful.
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My boyfriend offered to come with me, but that seems to me to be above and beyond the call of boyfriend duty.
I might pack Edgar (the teddy bear he gave me) in my backpack. I don't know what good he would do, but maybe I could squeeze him while I'm in that room alone waiting for the doctor to come in.
Also, I'm dumping my whole song collection into my mp3 player so that I can hopefully distract myself while in the waiting room.
They offered to reschedule until Friday, but honestly, if I had to wait that long, I wouldn't go. I've been trying to psych myself up for this for TODAY.
The doctor is one who was recommended by my psychiatrist/therapist. So I'm hoping she is okay. The last doctor I saw was actually pretty nice. But the whole thing was just so scary and overwhelming.
posted
My sister always says that her examinations were very uncomforterable. But she had to have them done more frequently so they could see over a period of 4 months wether or not she could convieve after a cyst that had been removed and was growing back.
Posts: 1941 | Registered: Dec 2005
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Mine hurt, too, but I don't think they hurt as badly as yours.
I hope it goes smoothly for you. After my first one, the rest weren't nearly as scary.
My last gyno was a new one for me, and she has her patients sit down with her in her office before the exam. It's SO nice to be able to talk to your doctor when you're fully clothed! It is MUCH less intimidating, and easier to remember to ask all the right questions.
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While I wouldn't mind if my significant other is at the clinic with me, I would prefer he not be present during the exam.
I'm always so surprised on how quick the whole thing is. My nurse practitioner is great. She knows what she's doing and is knows exactly how much chitchat these exams should have. Less talking, more swabbing.
Pearce, have you tried Kegel exercises? I'm betting they can help you feel what relaxing that area should feel like.
Don't worry, it will be okay. The next one won't be nearly as bad, I promise. You'll know what to expect and be a little more prepared.
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Best of luck! I hope it all went well this time!
(I have to say, there's no position that I feel more stupid in than in the armchair at a gynecologist! I always hope we'll skip that bit, but nope: it's got to be done... <sigh> But at least I had the luck to come across a really great gynecologist)
Ph, I think it's veeerryy wise of you NOT to take your boyfriend there I definitely want as few people there as possible!
Posts: 218 | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
Good luck, pH. Be sure to let the doctor know if something is hurting you, because it really shouldn't hurt.
Posts: 3546 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
In an age of endoscopic surgery via threading through eg blood vessels, gynecologists using speculums/etc are just folks who like to torture women.
Posts: 8501 | Registered: Jul 2001
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Ugh. I turn 18 in May. THen I get to have MY first exam. I'm REALLY not looking forward to it.
Posts: 1591 | Registered: Jul 2005
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I've gone with Teres at times when she knew it was going to hurt, such as when she had her cervix frozen last year, and wanted someone there with her.
Posts: 7790 | Registered: Aug 2000
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Pelvic exams always hurt me. Relaxed makes no difference. And even moreso during pregnancy, when I get most of them. >_< I sympathise. I find that concentrating on something else can help. But sweetie, you just gotta do it, because having a painful exam now is better than dying of something that didn't get caught because you didn't do it later.
BTW, I was much happier once I switched from a doctor who said, "It doesn't hurt! There's no reason what I'm doing should hurt" to one who said, "I'm sorry. I don't know why this hurts you, but I'm sorry it does, we're almost done."
I don't like doctors who tell me something doesn't hurt when I know it does. I am not happy when I am not listened to.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
They always hurt me too. It has nothing to do with relaxation--I have done yoga for years and definitely do the breathing, but I think some of us have the misfortune of being built smaller/differently. Or maybe it's the same as when people say that shots don't hurt--they DO hurt me, but it's not like agony. I guess for some people that doesn't even register as pain?
And it's so odd making small talk ("Yup, still in Chicago...it's been a good winter") when someone is THAT close to you.
Good luck! I don't envy you.
Posts: 484 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by aspectre: In an age of endoscopic surgery via threading through eg blood vessels, gynecologists using speculums/etc are just folks who like to torture women.
What?
What does endoscopy have to do a pelvic exam? And, are you aware of the risks associated with endoscopic surgery?
pH, I hope it went more easily for you.
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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posted
Well, I'm back, after three hours of torture.
As soon as I got into the exam room, I started crying.
The doctor handed Edgar to me (my teddy bear) and got someone else to stand next to me and talk to me and hold my hand.
But I still started absolutely sobbing once the exam started. It hurt. It hurt BAD. Bad bad bad bad.
I had to give blood to get my thyroid checked, and she also thinks I might be anemic. So yay. And I have to take some pills to stop the bleeding, and if those stop it, then I can start taking birth control. And I have to have a pelvic ultrasound and a follow-up exam.
I think they just want to prolong my torture for an entire month.
I wish I had something better to say. I really feel for you, though, and think you're very, very brave for going through with it even though it hurts so much for you. It's important and a lesser person would just not go. Ever. No matter how important it was. So I'm really impressed.
Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001
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posted
I sorry but I don't follow. Why wouldn't you need an exam? Under what circumstances would a woman not need one? I'm pretty sure you are female, Synesthesia...
Posts: 2064 | Registered: Dec 2003
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Yes, but I also am not... well *Cough* so they said my changes of having cervical cancer are nonexistent. I wish she would have told me this before I was sitting there in a paper towel feeling humiliated.
I'm sorry it hurt so much Ph...
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Syn, you should still get an exam at the very least every two years if you are a woman over 18.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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I just made a policy decision not to have these any more until I get married. I decided it was my choice, so I chose to accept the tiny risk rather than go through that. It's more than unpleasant and painful, it's just really upsetting and disturbing to me. I feel violated. I don't get mammograms either.
Now obviously if it were some doctor like CT, whom I loved, it would be totally different. But I don't happen to know anyone locally like that. And I feel really liberated that I don't have to go through with that.
Obviously, if I were married I would, and certainly if I got pregnant, but then I would have a husband and probably feel less vulnerable anyway.
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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quote:Originally posted by ketchupqueen: Syn, you should still get an exam at the very least every two years if you are a woman over 18.
Actually, no, they recently changed that rule to over 21. And even at 21 the risk is low enough for virgins that some doctors are more lenient than that.
Posts: 1014 | Registered: Jul 2005
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I'm with Tatiana on this one. Even though I'm married I've decided simply to skip the annual pelvic exam for the last several years. I went through a series of these because of infertility problems and I just can't stand them any more. I just feel so violated by these exams.
Based on my personal and family medical history, I'm at extremely low risk for any of the things they screen for in these exams and it doesn't seem worth it to me. Unless I get pregnant or experience some clear problems, I'm simply not going to go in for a routine violation of body.
Posts: 12591 | Registered: Jan 2000
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posted
It's my understanding that cervical cancer does not happen to women who have never had any sexual contact. Cervical cancer is believed to be caused by HPV, the Human Papilloma Virus, which is a sexually transmitted disease. If you have not ever had sex, you cannot catch HPV and the risks of getting cervical cancer are extremely low.
Anyone who has ever had sex should start having their PAP smears, regardless of age. And by sex, it doesn't mean just penetration, but any skin to skin contact.
At least, this is what the doctors I know in Canada say.
Edited to add: In Canada, at any rate, if you've had a few smears in a row that all came back negative, you then move to every other year, then to every third year, or something like that. Except for people who are at high risk. Because of childhood sexual abuse, I'm at high risk and can never afford the risk to getting them less frequently than once a year.
Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
But cervical cancer isn't the only reason you go in for an exam, right?
Okay, maybe that's just me, because I always had REALLY WEIRD stuff going on with my periods and all.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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The cervical cancer is the reason that doctors recommend a cervical exam for health asymptomatic women.
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Okay, I was never totally asymptomatic, that would probably be it; I always had something going on.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Actually, young sexually active women are going for two reasons whether they know it or not: the cervical exam, and an STD check. In active high school and college women especially, the STDs are much more likely than cervical cancer but we just incorporate all of it into the "pelvic exam".
Posts: 1014 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
pH, is it possible that you have a tilted uterus? My friend in high school had that, and her exams were always very painful.
I sympathize with all of you ladies with painful exams. :/ I have been very lucky so far to just be slightly humiliated.
Please, ladies, especially if you are not getting yearly exams, examine your breasts monthly for lumps. I had a great-aunt who died from breast cancer. Feel yer boobies!
Posts: 1545 | Registered: May 2002
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At my clinic they do not test you for STDs unless you indicate that you want them to. They do, however, ask if you are at risk.
Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
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I've only had one exam, and it was an emergency due to terrible abdominal pain. I was in the ER and it was 2 am. I don't think it hurt, though I had an IV. But it doesn't make the prospect of them any better.
Posts: 5362 | Registered: Apr 2004
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I don't mean to be scary, but breast cancer runs in my family on both sides. I was discussing my increased risk with my doctor and she said:
"Actually you don't have much of an increased risk. It is true that you are 10-25% more likely to get breast cancer, but the fact is that 1 out of 8 (and perhaps more) women will contact breast cancer at one point in their lives so everyone should treat it as if they have a high risk of developping it"
For that reason, and that reason alone, it is a logical and preventive measure to get a breast exam either with your gynocologist or GP, and mammograms after 25 (or 30), even if you do shun the pelvic exam.
Posts: 484 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by jexx: pH, is it possible that you have a tilted uterus? My friend in high school had that, and her exams were always very painful.
I sympathize with all of you ladies with painful exams. :/ I have been very lucky so far to just be slightly humiliated.
Please, ladies, especially if you are not getting yearly exams, examine your breasts monthly for lumps. I had a great-aunt who died from breast cancer. Feel yer boobies!
Good points, Jexx. I was just recently told that my uterus is tilted. Duh. No wonder the exams hurt.
Also, you're never too young to start breast exams. I had a friend who had her left breast lopped off at 19 due to breast cancer.
But then, I also had a friend with cervical cancer when she was still a teenager, so yeah, it all needs to be taken seriously.
Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
Ewww. I thought mammograms weren't deemed necessary until after 40 (IOW I thought I had a couple more years until that necessary evil). ugh.
Posts: 697 | Registered: Nov 2005
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Mammograms aren't deemed necessary until after 40. They're talking about manual exams.
And I've been told I have a titled uterus, too, and my exams have never hurt. *shrug* So that may or may not be related. Mine is tilted enough that they have to, um, use two hands for the exam.
Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
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quote:Originally posted by ElJay: Mammograms aren't deemed necessary until after 40.
Unless you have Premature Ovarian Failure or Early Perimenopause (from what I've read, there are disputes within the medical community whether these are two separate medical diagnoses, or the same thing.)
I had my first mammogram last year - at 37. Yikes!
Talk about getting your breast squished to about half an inch thick! Ouch!
Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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I definitely want as few people there as possible!
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Duh. No wonder the exams hurt.
