posted
Welcome, fellow GLBTs, and welcome those of you questioning.
I noticed the suggestion in the "so, um..." thread about starting a thread for gay hatrackers, and the mroe I thought about it, the more I realized that this is probably a really good idea. We have hatrackers from all stages of life here- from older people who came out years ago, to those who are just now discovering their budding sexuality.
Hatrackers support each other in times of need. This is no different. So welcome, those of you who need support. We're here for you.
quote:Originally posted by Kwea: I don't mean to be unsupportive....but this seems counterproductive to me.
As far as I know, hatrack gatherings have always been location based, and welcome to all hatrackers who could make it.
Regardless of sexual orientation.
I think anyone is welcome here. Regardless of orientation. But a thread like this can make people feel less alone, or less different, you know? There've been threads that've been effectively for Mormons, or for Catholics, or for Jews. This seems like the same kind of thing.
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posted
I was thinking this could be mainly as a support thread for sexuality-specific issues, since we all know we have them. Me, for example- I could really use help getting my parents to understand that just because I'm attracted to men and women, it doesn't mean I'm sleeping around and that I'm attracted to every person I lay eyes on. THey seem to think that I'm only interested in sex now- when I'm saving my virginity for marriage/life-partnership(since gay marriage is illegal here in ohio).
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Not to be naive, but what does "post-op" mean? Where you a man who had an operation and are now a female and a lesbian? That's the only thing I can think of.
posted
Tinros: Getting past the "anything that moves" stereotype we have is pretty difficult. (And it doesn't help that there *are* some bisexuals who live that stereotype to the fullest.) But I think, if you reassure them that you're A> Monogamous and B> Saving yourself every time they bring it up or make a snarky comment, they'll eventually get the message.
However, opportunities arrive in your 20s that you might not have expected. If you're committed to saving yourself for marriage/life partner, be prepared for these opportunities and have the strength to say "no" to them.
posted
You know, I posted that last night. I'm not sure why I included that part, but when I woke up this morning, my first thought was, "Why'd I do that?"
But while I probably wouldn't phrase it the way you did, it's more or less the case.
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posted
Tara: If you're refering to what I said in the other thread, that only applies to the "No Straights Allowed" part.
I don't think we should shut out our heterosexual friends. Other than that, I think this thread is a good idea =)
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posted
Yeah, I have to admit I was put off by the idea that, as a straight, happily married woman I am not allowed in this thread. I am supportive of gay rights and I think I was one of five people in the state of Kansas to vote against the gay-marriage ban. (I tried!)
It may be that I don't have a lot to say, since I can't really relate to the difficulties of realizing that you don't fit the accepted sexual norm, but I do hope that you won't shut me out if I happen to have something to add.
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Of course you're welcome! Just be careful when you switch log ins. It's easy to out yourself.
Then again, Closets are lonely, sad, scarey places. Hopefully one day you can come out.
Christine: I'm a happily and monogamously married woman too. That doesn't make me straight, just spoken for. (and of course, you're welcome here too.)
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quote:Originally posted by Christine: I think I was one of five people in the state of Kansas to vote against the gay-marriage ban.
Wait, you're in Kansas? I had no idea! I'm from Lawrence (well, the country outside of Lawrence, actually), though I'm now living in Ohio.
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posted
I was thinking this was a thread about a Hatrack Gathering, where only gay people would be welcome/invited.
I have no issues at all with this being a thread for support of gay people, of course. As mentioned, there are all sorts of threads for all sorts of issues,and I guess this would not really be any different.
Not that my approval counts for much, as it is, but still....
...if this WAS about a gay-only gathering, I would still think it would not be in good taste, and contrary to the what Hatrack means to me. Posts: 15082 | Registered: Jul 2001
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quote:Originally posted by Synesthesia: I seem to want a man... But women are nice to look at. Very nice to look at.
I've often thought that the world doesn't separate neatly into gay vs. straight. A friend in college used to say everyone was a little gay on a scale from 1 to 100, with 1 being perfectly straight and 100 being absolutely gay. A perfect bi would be a 50 (preferring neither gender).
I decided I was a 10...the female body is nice to look at, but that's as far as it goes with me. Posts: 2392 | Registered: Sep 2005
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Syn: Sounds like you're like me.. men are nice, but no man can give me whiplash like a woman.
It's more complicated than just "I'm bi" but that label fits. Men and women are sooo different and sooo wonderful... I used to think it was like Vanilla and Chocolate, but it's more like Pizza and Ice Cream. Men and Women are not simply two flavours, but two completely different and amazingly good things. (And they both feel so good pressed up against you, in very different ways)
When I was young I didn't understand this and thought I was a lesbian since guys are so damn ugly (and yet, reluctant to make love with a bag over thier head.)
Chrstine: Then there's the Kinsey Scale from 0 (straight) to 6 (Gay) with 3 as a perfect 50/50 bi. You won't find many people who fit exactly on to any of those numbers.
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posted
Christine, I get where you're coming from. I check out attractive people of either gender. All the time. But when it gets down to it, I only really likes the mens.
quote:Originally posted by ClaudiaTherese: Don't forget some slices of quince fruit on the side.
It is almost impossible to find quince fruit in the US, even by online order. I needed some for a theme dinner I am working on and had to settle for a kind of jellied quince paste.
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posted
At first I was nothing, no interest in either. Then I started to liek WOMEN. Then I started to like men. Now i seem to really want a man (Especially a certain one) but I like LOOKING AT GIRLS BECAUSE GIRLS ARE HOT. Perhaps I will get a girly looking man. Best of both worlds.
sex with bread *Snicker*
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posted
Syn: How long ago did you decide you wanted a guy? Could this just be a function of your pendulum? The part of your mind that swings back and forth between men and women?
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posted
I bought quince syrup last weekend. They were sampling it at the store mixed with creme fraiche and served with toast points. Yum. I think I'm going to go have some over fruit now.
Also, boys and girls are both tasty. Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
Back before they added the T (which was probably a bad idea, since T has nothing at all to do with G, L or B), there was a Jewish group called BaGeL.
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quote:Originally posted by ClaudiaTherese: Don't forget some slices of quince fruit on the side.
It is almost impossible to find quince fruit in the US, even by online order. I needed some for a theme dinner I am working on and had to settle for a kind of jellied quince paste.
Maybe in your state.
Go West, young woman!
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posted
It's been my experience that T's are almost all bi, so they would indeed fit with the group. They just like to... dress and act differently from what is socially accepted given their genetalia.
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posted
You know, we should just eliminated the terms of gay and straight completely and whoever you fall in love with is whoever you fall in love...sheesh. Considering how many people are somewhere in between straight and gay.
Even if we don't do that, we should eliminate the word "lesbian." What a horrid word.
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quote:Originally posted by Joldo: Yeah, how come the Ts get in on our action? I mean, they're nice folk, but do they really count?
It just seems LGB is a sexuality/romantic thing, while T is purely gender-based.
Transgendered individuals face many of the same barriers to equality that gays and lesbians do. Politically they have very much in common with "us". "Our action" is very much "their action". Such inclusivity is often problematic in it's own right, but it is also one of the GLBT movements greatest strengths.
quote:Originally posted by Tinros: It's been my experience that T's are almost all bi, so they would indeed fit with the group. They just like to... dress and act differently from what is socially accepted given their genetalia.
I could be totally misreading you, but from what you write above, it seems like you are taking the "T" to mean "Transvestite", which is a very different thing from "Transgendered" or "Transexual". I'm fairly certain the "T" refers to one or both of the latter and not to "Transvestite".
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quote:Originally posted by Christine: I've often thought that the world doesn't separate neatly into gay vs. straight. A friend in college used to say everyone was a little gay on a scale from 1 to 100, with 1 being perfectly straight and 100 being absolutely gay. A perfect bi would be a 50 (preferring neither gender).
I decided I was a 10...the female body is nice to look at, but that's as far as it goes with me.
wow, that's exactly what i say! i'd say i'm between 10 and 15 the other way.
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quote:Originally posted by Tinros: It's been my experience that T's are almost all bi, so they would indeed fit with the group. They just like to... dress and act differently from what is socially accepted given their genetalia.
Interesting experience. About half the transwomen I've met have been exclusively heterosexual (into men), and about a third have been lesbians. Relatively few have been bi.
Though from your description, it sounds like you're talking more about crossdressers and drag queens. For transsexuals, it isn't about dressing or behavior; it's about identity.
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quote:Originally posted by KarlEd: Transgendered individuals face many of the same barriers to equality that gays and lesbians do.
Only more so. But then, there are still places where blacks and Asians do, as well.
quote:Originally posted by KarlEd: Politically they have very much in common with "us". "Our action" is very much "their action". Such inclusivity is often problematic in it's own right, but it is also one of the GLBT movements greatest strengths.
Maybe. I can see the political thing. But I think it gives people a lot of wrong impressions. How many times is a gay or lesbian couple asked, "Which of you is the man and which is the woman?" It's because the think it has to be a gender issue. And the fact that a transwoman being lesbian is such a mindblower to some people is because of the assumption that someone transitioning male-to-female must really be a gay guy who just wants to find a more socially acceptable way to be with men.
quote:Originally posted by KarlEd:
quote:Originally posted by Tinros: It's been my experience that T's are almost all bi, so they would indeed fit with the group. They just like to... dress and act differently from what is socially accepted given their genetalia.
I could be totally misreading you, but from what you write above, it seems like you are taking the "T" to mean "Transvestite", which is a very different thing from "Transgendered" or "Transexual". I'm fairly certain the "T" refers to one or both of the latter and not to "Transvestite".
Transgendered is a blanket term that includes transsexuals, crossdressers, drag queens, and pretty much anyone whose gender issues skew from the norm. As such, a lot of transsexuals hate being lumped into this umbrella category.
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quote:Originally posted by The Pixiest: Syn: How long ago did you decide you wanted a guy? Could this just be a function of your pendulum? The part of your mind that swings back and forth between men and women?
I do not know, sometimes it does swing depending on rejection, but I seem to want babies for some reason as well... Been wanting a particular guy for a year and a half...
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
I'm glad you are welcoming the closeted Hatrackers, too. Maybe some others can come over here, too.
You are likely familiar with me under my regular screen name. I'm a married woman, with kids, and no plans to leave my husband. Thus, I've made the choice to stay closeted. And since I strongly value marital fidelity, I do not have any extra-marital relationships.
But I do identify as a lesbian. It's not so much lonely in the closet as...frustrating.
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