"Okay people, we've got a paper to put out. What have we got?"
"Three terrorist attacks, four natural disasters, seven different government plots (local and national), three conspiracies from our police department, a mutated shark attack, a Ferris wheel run amuck, escaped zoo animals, and 1,700 slain prostitutes."
"Damn, a slow day. What are the natural disasters, meteors?"
"Only two this time. NASA is sending up a ship with four big-hearted and funny ex-cons to stop one at the last possible minute, and there's a group of precocious but misunderstood kids working up a deflector beam for the other despite efforts by their parents and a corrupt FBI official to catch them."