posted
Yeah, so I don't normally post here(or anywhere for that matter), but I really need advice. Last Sunday I broke up with my boyfriend. I'm pretty sure he broke my heart. Sometimes I just wake up and start crying; it's absolutely horrible. All my friends keep saying it'll get easier, but it's really not. Anyone have any advice?
Posts: 7 | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
Well first off, welcome to hatrack! Second, I am interested to know why you came here to share such a significant personal problem. I myself and many others have come here seeking advice, but I am curious as to what made you decide this place would be your best bet.
It sounds like you called things off because of something your boyfriend did, is this correct?
When your friends tell you that things will get better, try to think of it as an expression of confidence in your character. They believe that you will heal yourself and be back to being optimistic and happy again about life. You are resilient.
Losing somebody you have loved is terribly difficult. I've always felt that gaining somebody to love is a miracle. Losing any of my loved ones would feel like losing a limb, and we can't just replace them with ease.
But you need not carry this burden alone. Grieving alone is a good thing, its good to get that confirmation for yourself that you have loved and lost. When you feel ready, and I think posting in a forum indicates you are heading in that direction, try to start expending your energies towards something productive. Make new friendships, explore new or rediscover old hobbies. A missing part of you does not just fill itself back up, you have to decide how you want to replace it.
I must confess as I do not know any of the dynamics of your relationship I cannot offer more help beyond that. I don't know if you might get back together, what your ex boyfriend is like, what family/friend support structure you have, etc. In 12th grade almost all my best friends were girls, I got alot of practice in listening to them talk about their feelings
I you need a place to just express your feelings and get it out there, this is a great place for that. If you are looking for a community of good people to hopefully repair a part of you that feels damaged or missing, again good choice in coming here.
You'd be hard pressed to have an experience that at least SOMEBODY here has not already gone through.
Again, welcome to hatrack, I sincerely hope you will find the confidence to make things better.
Posts: 14316 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
I've always read the Hatrack forum. Don't get me wrong, I've been here for a few years, I just don't ever post. I've been a kinda shy person who was afraid people would judge me. But I've seen here that the community is a lot different from anywhere else. People are actually kind here and listen to your problems and offer their own life experiences. I think I just needed someone who went through the same thing to talk to me. Not many of my friends have actually falling in love and then had their heart broken.
I suppose if I want a advice pertaining to myself, I should tell the whole story.
I had liked this guy for like 2 years. Like the minute I met him, I was drawn to him. I'm a big music person. I'm in marching band, winter drumline, orchestras, wind ensembles. So the next year, when I was in winter drumline, this guy joins too! I was so excited. I had never really had a chance to talk to him. But unfortunately, as I tried talking to him through the season, I found out he hated everyone in the program and would only talk to one person(that person not being me).
Unfortunately at the end of that year, we have this big dance. My best friend at the time didn't really know I had felt that way about this guy, so she asked him out. I just sat there and watched them date. It was really depressing, but kinda nice. I got closer to him 'cause I was always with my best friend, so I always got to talk to him. They eventually broke up 'cause they just weren't compatible people.
Happily, the next year, I had a few classes with him and he was still in marching band and drumline with me. So I spent quite a bit of time with him. Unfortunately, he was still quite a bit cruel to me. We weren't friends yet, but acquaintances. But I was always really obvious that I liked him. Like horribly obvious. I always tried to be near him and go out of my way to talk to him.
Finally at the end of the year, he started being like freakishly nice to me. Going out of his way to talk to me, offering to hold my purse at the carnival...Just really nice stuff.
The next day he asks me to go on a date with him. I was so ecstatic. Like I would have done like 5 cartwheels if I knew how to cartwheel.
Our relationship still continued to hit a few bumps. He never had a serious relationship before and didn't really know how to act and talk. But we worked it out. At then for a few months, we were inseperable. I did everything with him. There wasn't a moment in my life I didn't think about him.
Then we started drifting. Our schedules got really busy and we just didn't see each other that often. I still got to be with him at least once a week. I looked forward to that every week. But then he stopped having time for me and talking to me about serious things. I think I knew things were going in a direction I was not happy with so I tried changing everything. From the way we spent time together to the way we talked to even myself at one point. I was hopelessly in love and I just wanted this to work.
But then we just reached a point where he cut me out of his life. I still spent time with him occasionally, and it felt like old times. So I knew we were still compatible. But it just got worse and worse until he wouldn't even hold my hand. I felt horrible but I thought we could still have something. I knew he was there for me so I was still ok.
Finally I just confronted him and he told me we shouldn't be together anymore. Not that he didn't love me, but that he didn't wanna be with me. He wanted the experience of high school and didn't want to waste it on one person. I think I died a little.
We're still friends now, and I still tell him a lot. I think we talk more now than we have for the past 2 months. But it's just becoming so hard. I really do just want to move on but I still love him. And everytime I get a moment to sit and think, I always think of him.
Wow I just wrote a book. Sorry about that. But anyone have any advice on how to make things easier?
Posts: 7 | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
I'd say, while you're still in love with him, maintaining a close friendship with him is just about the worse thing you can do.
Posts: 3516 | Registered: Sep 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Leonide: I'd say, while you're still in love with him, maintaining a close friendship with him is just about the worse thing you can do.
Seconded. I know that everyone likes to say "We'll be friends" or "We're still friends." I'm still friends with my first boyfriend; I think he's a fantastic person. But we didn't speak at all for about a year after we broke up. We both had to have time to ourselves before we could even think about a friendship.
I'm still friends with a handful of my exes, and with none of them did I jump immediately into friendship and continue to try to spend time with them right after the relationship ended. I think that's just begging for old wounds to be kept open.
posted
I have to concur with pH and Leonide. My ex-wife and I are very good friends, but there was a time after the divorce where we literally didn't communicate at all for about 1-1.5 years. It's hard to remember exactly how long.
Posts: 3354 | Registered: May 2005
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posted
Rose, I'm going to go against the advice others have offered here, and tell you that you should do what feels right to YOU. If still being friends helps you feel peace, then do that. If being friends with him makes you die a thousand deaths when you discover again and again that he doesn't love you, then take time to be apart for a while. I unfortunately have a whole lot of experience in getting over heartbreak. I will tell you some of what I've learned.
The most important thing of all is this: Your heart has just been done a terrible violence, because he no longer loves you. Don't harm it any further. Begin to build it back again (it takes time) by treating it kindly yourself. Here are some suggestions. (Everyone is different, so in every case, I recommend doing what works for you.)
1. Surround yourself with people who love you, preferably guys. If you have close guy friends who care about you, then now is the time to feel the healing love of their friendship.
2. When you find your brain doing that thing where it wants to change everything about you to suit him, stop. That's damaging to your selfness. Instead realize that you are a worthy and excellent person as you are. Any and all changes you make should be undertaken because of your own wishes and for the sake of your own self-realization. Repeat the mantra, if you need to do that to remember, "I am a child of God, I am of inestimable worth, I have a divine nature and unlimited potential".
3. Spend some time pondering your own deepest aims in life, and take positive action to achieve some of those. Write your mission statement, and your goals. (Make sure none of your goals conflict with anyone's free agency or make choices for others that fall naturally in their stewardship.)
4. Read "The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People". It's such a great book! I never fail to feel inspired and proactive, full of capability and potential after I read it.
5. Realize that you grow yourself through your choices one thought at a time, one day at a time. Think the thoughts that are who you want to be. Do the actions that are who you want to be.
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
It's just really difficult moving away from him. For a year, I've always had him to talk to at night. Even for just stability. But I really do want to move on. I'm just not sure how to go about it.... Posts: 7 | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
Do not try to maintain an active friendship. It really does get easier, but it takes a LONG time, I'm not going to lie. It takes a million times longer if you try to be friends that hang out and talk and such... even if you don't admit it your heart will be hoping.
Leonide is right, surround yourself with your friends and family, and keep yourself busy. It is okay to cry.
Sometimes it helps to keep a sketchbook or diary to get all those feelings out, that way you don't feel less like exploding, and less likely to do the worst thing ever, which is to go seek him out. A lot of my friends and I tend to find a couple movies that we have to watch over and and over to cope with the pain, anger, sadness, and confusion.
I'm really sorry. I do understand, to the degree of my own experience and the experiences of loved ones. Give yourself time to grieve, but don't stop yourself from having fun when you feel like it.
It doesn't matter to hear it now, but eventually your heart will begin to heal, and will make way for someone better. xo
Posts: 3936 | Registered: Jul 2000
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posted
Long ago I learned a secret in getting over someone. It is entirely indefensible morally, so I won't even try. But it does work.
Pick something physically about the person that you do not like, or that grosses you out, and focus on it. Or something that the person does which really bothers you. Focus on it.
Whenever you are sad or upset, focus on that negative. It is probably not much more untrue than obsessing over the positive aspects of your lost love. But it does blunt the pain and it is easy to discard when you want to re-integrate your feelings later when true friendship is a real possibility.
My recovery time used to be measured in years, this little trick reduced my suffering greatly and brought recovery down to weeks or months instead. Good luck, and don't forget to let go of the negative when it is no longer functional. And do all those other great positive ideas too!
Posts: 11 | Registered: Sep 2006
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posted
(Edited because I DON"T disagree with Tat. I'm just a sloppy reader sometimes.) Of course being friends is going to feel good - you love him. It feels good, if at least for a while, to be around someone you love. But he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you anymore, and as long as you still want that, no matter how quietly, you are going to hurt yourself. It is also a very addictive behavior.
If he changes his mind that will most likely only happen with more space. And if he doesn't change your mind, hey, you made it easier for you to move on quicker. If you move on and he changes his mind - well, you still have the freedom to change your mind back with new eyes and a new perspective.
A french philosopher, Bainville, said "One must want the consequences of what he wants."
If you want to spend time with him, you also have to be okay with the consequence that he could go be with someone else, and you will be hurting yourself anew. It hurts even if there is no one else. There are several likely consequences to each of your decisions, and you just have to be honest with yourself.
Sometimes we have to learn the hard way. But sometimes it helps to follow the advice of people who have had similar experiences, or that care for us.
I've learned some terribly hard lessons in the past year, as well. *sigh* I've been a notorious ex boyfriend smoocher. At first I felt like a victorious super villain, but I couldn't hide from who I really was...someone really in love, and really really hurting.
Be patient with your heart.
Posts: 3936 | Registered: Jul 2000
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posted
I do feel for you, truly. I went through this with my Hubby. I still kid him that he used to be an ass but I fixed him. We finally broke up or I should say I finally believed him when he said he liked me but didn't love me and I let go. We didn't speak for a year. I was without anybody for the first time since I discovered boys. It was weird, scary and lonely. After a while I discovered I liked me. I did things because I wanted to, not to please anyone else or make anyone else happy. I found me if that makes any sense. And oddly enough, we reconnected and Hubby realized he did love me and now I felt like I knew I could live without him and the relationship was better because I was my own person. I am not saying you two are destined to get back together. What I am trying to say in my loony way is take the opportunity to find and like you. It really will make you feel better and it will make the realationship you do end up in that much better. And no this guy will probably not respect you if he knows you're hanging around just waiting for him. It's hard but try to move on. Good luck and know Hatrack is always here for you!
Posts: 601 | Registered: Sep 2002
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posted
My rule for relationships (friendships too) is that if you make each other more, then it's good. If you make each other less, then drop it and move away. People you love or are friends with make you a better person. They make you stronger, happier, more capable, kinder, funnier, more generous, smarter, better educated, more courageous, or some combination of good things. You do the same for the other person.
Some relationships can make you less: smaller, weaker, more dependent, less able to do things, more afraid, feeling like you're less worthy, feeling like you can't be by yourself, more timid, etc. When a relationship becomes like this, it's best to end it. No recriminations need be made, just seek that person's friendship less, be less available to them, let it drop.
You need to find a way to fill up the time that you used to spend with him in other constructive ways. Read a lot of good books, or take a painting class, become a tutor at the library helping kids, or decide you want to take your music to another level and begin practicing an extra hour a day. Decide you want to listen to everything by your favorite composer, and do that.
Take time each day to be glad you're alive, grateful for the wonderful feeling of breathing air into your lungs, for the ability to move your limbs, dance, see the earth's beauty, hear music, make music, etc.
If you don't have a regular exercise program, then undertake one. Spend at least one hour out in the sunshine each day. Be sure to eat in the most healthy way possible, and sleep deeply and well each night at a regular time if you can manage that.
Notice the needs of people around you, and act in whatever way seems best to meet those needs. Dedicate yourself to learning to serve others.
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
Thanks, I'm currently on the look out for a guy. Unfortunately, I'm a horribly clingy person. So hopefully my friends will let me cling to them for now and maybe I'll be able to get a new guy soon!
Don't get me wrong though, I'm not out to hurt people are anything. Just trying to move on.
Yeah I think I'm going to seriously talk to him tonight, and hopefully I'll sort out my feeling and probably stop talking to him so much.
Posts: 7 | Registered: Mar 2005
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Some other methods used by either me or my best friends:
Eating a pink of Chunky Monkey a day, paired with running six miles a day. Intense physical activities like running, swimming, and dancing are really healing.
Baking. You have to focus on what you are doing, and is very ritualistic. Plus there are delicious results.
Cleaning. Again, it is detail oriented and repetitive - and your living space is now squeaky. Gardening can be great, too.
Volunteer work. Gets you focused outside of yourself.
posted
Amen, Tatiana. Amen. I finally learned in my early twenties to let go of people that didn't make me feel worthwhile/want to be better. It made my life SO much better.
Rose, If you need to, then go ahead and talk to him about not talking to him, but you don't have to, either.
You can always just simply float away, and start doing things for yourself. I agree with everyone who suggesting learning more about and loving yourself, regardless of boyfriend-validation.
A lot of the sort of silly sounding things we did after break ups helped more because we had already gone through a bunch of stuff to learn who we were and what we wanted. But you learn something new everytime. I now know a few more things I don't want in a relationship, and a few more things about where I am weak and how to make myself stronger.
I'm sorry I'm posting so much on this. I guess it's still a big part of my present circumstances, and I just empathize and am helping myself by writing about it a little. Posts: 3936 | Registered: Jul 2000
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posted
Please don't apologize for posting a lot. This is exactly what I need to do/hear. I really do want to talk to him about maybe taking a little time away. Maybe a lot. I promised him we would still stay friends through this, plus I see him a lot. And truthfully, I still want to be friends. But it's getting a little difficult to not cling to him if we still talk a lot.
Maybe I'll go running later today. The other day I ran 3 miles and it felt really good.
Posts: 7 | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
My best friend and I have found this panacea that we call "the ritual". Here's a journal post in which I tried to get the idea across. I just can't say enough good things about it. It's such a solid builder of joy and happiness for both of us.
The idea is that at least one time a day, you put on some really great music (it can be anything from Bach to Rachmaninoff to Radiohead... Tool is a particular ritual favorite of mine) and just dance. Let the music crawl inside your bones and muscles and animate you from the inside out. While you're doing that, notice how unbelievably beautiful every moment of being alive truly is. Feel how good it feels to move, and be grateful for that. Feel how thrilling it is to have a body, to breathe, to see, hear, smell, touch, think, exist, millisecond by millisecond. Be here now. Connect with the absolute, with the divine, with your own potential as a living creature. Expand yourself to encompass everything.
I think it's similar to what the sufi mystics of Islam did, who are also sometimes called the whirling dervishes (see Rumi, etc. in wikipedia). I think I'm sort of a sufi Mormon now.
I've gotten somewhat evangelistic about the ritual, because it's so wonderful I just want to share it. I bet Porcelain Girl knows what I mean. She's a dancer. (I loved your column, Sara!)
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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quote:Thanks, I'm currently on the look out for a guy. Unfortunately, I'm a horribly clingy person. So hopefully my friends will let me cling to them for now and maybe I'll be able to get a new guy soon!
If you just broke up last Sunday, I think you should take at least a few weeks of you time before you think about moving to somebody new.
Posts: 1947 | Registered: Aug 2002
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posted
Yeah I know I should probably hold off on the getting a new guy, but I really like attention. I just really feel like I need a rebound or something...
Not to mention my parents are really strict sometimes for no reason. Like right now my mother won't let me be with my friends and only hang out with my ex-boyfriend. It really hurts. It makes me feel really alone.
Posts: 7 | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
I agree with Amanecer, and am going to amen dawnmaria. I am not against dating new people, that's great. But also find out why you need that sort of validation. What is lacking about Rose that Rose doesn't feel complete without a boyfriend telling her she is okay?
There is only one Rose. Get to know her, like her, and value her without some boy proving it to you. Prove it to yourself.
Oh, Tatiana, that is wonderful. I know exactly what you mean. (thanks for liking my column )
Posts: 3936 | Registered: Jul 2000
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posted
It sounds to me like the power balance in your relationship was kind of out of whack. It sounds like he, pretty much alone, got to decide when the two of you would spend time together... And everyone needs occasional times not spent with one's significant other, I think that's healthy. But if one person wants to spend time together that the other doesn't want to give... How can that not play havoc with your self-esteem?
I hope you have some good friends you can talk to about how you feel. And I hope you recognize that you deserve happiness, and that right is not necessarily embodied in any single person. You deserve someone who is thrilled to spend time with you.
Break-ups suck. I spent the entire night of my first break-up staring at the ceiling, multiples of three going through my head, unable to stop. It was like my left brain had taken over to prevent my right brain from dealing with what I was going through.
But, it does heal. Really. It may take longer than you expect, and it may feel like an old bruise for a while longer than that, but it does hurt less.
Good luck, and all sympathy.
Posts: 3826 | Registered: May 2005
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posted
Having just recently split with my boyfriend of two years, I have to say it's ultimately easier if you don't speak to him for a while. Try setting yourself a timeline: You won't speak to him for the next 60 days (or whatever). Also, it has really helped a lot of people I know to make lists of things they don't like about their ex. Big things, little irritating things, anything you can think of; and then read it when you're feeling uncertain. Spend time with people who love you and whom you love. Try doing something every day to make yourself feel pretty. It gets easier. I promise.
Posts: 910 | Registered: May 2000
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I don't know if you should be friends or not, but I know that it's not one big decision. You can back off and then come closer; you can hang out, decide it's not good, and back off.
Posts: 544 | Registered: Mar 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Fyfe: Try setting yourself a timeline: You won't speak to him for the next 60 days (or whatever).
Might thinking about the distance that much by planning the time apart just continue to aggravate the wound?
Posts: 299 | Registered: Jan 2007
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posted
Giving myself small timelines has actually helped, in my case.
"I won't go see him for two weeks." Then after the two weeks was accomplished I gave myself a new increment of time, so I wouldn't be making a new decision everyday of "Should I or shouldn't I?"
For some people small steps and time lines help things to be less overwhelming. But everyone's different.
Posts: 3936 | Registered: Jul 2000
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posted
To me, a breakup is a chance to focus on yourself. When you're with someone, you focus a lot of energy on doing things for them. That can be great, but it can also lead to neglecting yourself. Take advantage of this time alone, to do things for you.
Are there things that you avoided, because he didn't like them? Now's the time to do them. Food he hated or was allergic to, that you avoided to be a good girlfriend? Go make yourself some!
Do things that you like, and try new things that you might not have thought seriously about before. Making yourself a better, more interesting person is a great way to get over some of the sadness, because you're having fun and you realize how great you really are alone.
It also serves the purpose of making yourself into someone who is more desirable, so you'll be ready when you find another awesome person you want to date. Most of us aren't ready for another relationship right after a serious one ends, but it doesn't hurt to better yourself so when you are ready, you're a fun, exciting person, instead of just depressed and lonely.
Posts: 3950 | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
Tatiana, I am crossposting your analysis of good relationships/friendships to sakeriver. It is totally awesome and spot on.
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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posted
Cool, CT! It took me thirty something years to learn that. I'm happy to offer it as a shortcut to people smarter than I who might learn quicker. Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
I'm glad you did CT, since I might not have seen the advice otherwise.
(Not to say I don't feel for you Rose, because I do, and I read you initial post, but I didn't feel like I had much advice to offer so I just sort of skimmed the thread. Going back and reading it though - there is a lot of wisdom and experience here and I think you're in very good hands. Good luck.)
Posts: 3420 | Registered: Jun 2002
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I have a somewhat related definition of love: When someone loves you, they are happy when you are happy, and they are sad when you are sad. Even if they disagree with your choices or reasons, your happiness itself will bring them happiness, and your sadness itself will bring them sadness. If either or both of those clauses hold true in the reverse (happy because you are sad or sad because you are happy), then you have a dysfunctional relationship.
---
Edited to add:
Hi, Dragon! I really am going to bed soon. I just had caffeine at supper and am kinda wired. Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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posted
I echo those who say take time to be apart. When my first serious girlfriend and I split, we tried to stay friends, but it was messed up, and we never had clearly defined boundaries after the relationship. It was different from your situation, but the basics are the same. After four or five months of trying to be friends (and sometimes regressing into relationship type things) she started dating someone else and cut me out of her life entirely. It took us a year and a half to get to the point where we could talk, and now three years later, we're great friends who are close, but we know where the line is now, and we're over each other.
My suggestion would be to find yourself apart from him before you try to form any kind of lasting relationship with him again, otherwise you might just be setting yourself up for a fall. Now that doesn't mean you necessarily have to cut him out of your life entirely, it just means establish boundaries, be your own person without him, and make sure you have a support system that includes others.
Other than that, the pain will ease with time, maybe a lot of time. Until then, go to the zoo, go out with friends, listen to a thousand break up songs and eat ice cream, whatever you can do to cope until the pain goes away. There's no one right way to make it better.
Posts: 21898 | Registered: Nov 2004
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posted
One thing I try to remember when I'm in pain is that pain is there for a reason. Not some deep, metaphysical reason, but a very simple one: to remind you not to do what you did to cause you pain. Pain is an excellent opportunity to learn, and grow wise. Your body is telling you to pay attention, and figure out why you're in pain, so you'll be better able to avoid it next time.
That's why I try to use post-relationship time as a period of growth and self-improvement. A relationship falling apart is rarely one person's fault, but a complex incompatibility between the people. If you figure out how you can be a better person, and how you can avoid the problems of the failed relationship, then the pain has served its purpose, and hopefully it won't be as likely to occur in the future.
Posts: 3950 | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
What a collectively wise thread this is. I wish I'd had it to read when I was dating...*every* *single* *time* I went through a breakup, I tried to stay friends with the guy. I thought it meant I was being mature. What it really meant was that I was clinging to the way things used to be.
Now...I will say that once the friendship ended up being much deeper and more significant than the romantic relationship, but I also think it was a special case. We had dated briefly at the end of the college semester & he broke it off over the long summer break, so I had some recovery time. It was still hard to be his friend at the beginning of fall semester (and even harder to see him with his new girlfriend)--but an important distinction was that I wasn't trying to be his really good friend. We just hung out with the same people sometimes. Eventually we did become really close friends...long after I really was over him.
I'll echo everyone else's comments: Be good to yourself. Give yourself time. You are lovable and loved.
Posts: 834 | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
Yeah, I have to say, I don't understand the mindset that breaking up with someone means you have to be insta-friends. I know that if you're bitter about a lot of exes, that can come off badly, but I guess I don't really see the appeal of going straight from relationship to best friendship, and I wonder where that idea came from.
posted
I've never tried to stay close with any of my exes. I figured that we broke up for a reason: we didn't like each other any more. If we didn't care about each other enough to keep dating, or if there were other problems that caused the breakup, I didn't feel like there was any reason to hang out with them.
Besides, it seems to me that it just makes things harder. You have all these confused emotions, you like them but you hate them, you want to be nice, but you also want to be mean because they hurt you. Better to just be upset at them, and keep your distance, so you can heal. That's my theory, and it's worked well for me.
Posts: 3950 | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
Great column, Sara! Can I link to it on a blog? I think the love should be spread to as many people as possible.
Liz, this is a really wise thread. I've learned a lot of this, but it was so painfully recent that I'm rather ashamed that it took me so long.
It's completely true though. A relationship (of any kind) should help you to be your best and happiest self. Everyone deserves that and shouldn't settle for anything else.
Hang in there, Rose. Time helps (it sucks, but it helps). Take care of yourself, ok?
Posts: 6415 | Registered: Jul 2000
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posted
Thanks everyone. I just told him I don't think we can really talk anymore. I think we were both really sad but it's better this way. I think I feel a little better.
Btw, Sara, I read that article. It was amazing. I'm calling up my best friend and getting her to go out and buy Ben and Jerry's and my favorite movies.
Posts: 7 | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
Bravo, Rose. It's definitely a loss, but you'll be able to take better care of yourself if you have some time without him. *hugs* Hang in there.
Posts: 6415 | Registered: Jul 2000
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I'm pretty sure he broke my heart. Sometimes I just wake up and start crying; it's absolutely horrible. All my friends keep saying it'll get easier, but it's really not. Anyone have any advice?
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