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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Today in American Religion Class: Latter Day Saints! (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Today in American Religion Class: Latter Day Saints!
Danlo the Wild
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shh. in class. learning
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Scott R
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No matter what the teacher says:

Mormons eat babies.

(I double-dog dare you to ask whether or not they do in class. Out loud.)

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Danlo the Wild
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Dear LDS - are the gold plates still around? class wants to known teacher can't answer
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Scott R
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Not that we know of.

Shouldn't you be paying attention rather than talking to us?

This doesn't seem like a good way for you to be getting your money's worth.

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Scott R
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Now that I answered your question, you are solemnly obligated to ask your teacher whether or not Mo's eat their young.
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Puffy Treat
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Scott, I'm both shocked and disappointed in you.




The horns, man! They're supposed to ask about the horns first!

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Danlo the Wild
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Are Mormons Christians?

question atm

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katharina
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Why are you wasting time with that when you could be discussing baby roast recipes?
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Danlo the Wild
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from empirical knowledge, i know y'all to be good people.

so shush...

catholics weird me out more

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ketchupqueen
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No, we're not Christian, we worship a lizard god instead who tells us how to cook our babies.

(Yes, we're Christian. We believe in Christ as a divine son of God and follow His teachings and example.

And we don't know where the gold plates are.)

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Scott R
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quote:
Originally posted by Danlo the Wild:
Are Mormons Christians?

What's a Christian?

Mormons believe that Jesus Christ suffered and died to atone for the sins of mankind. Mormons believe that no one can return to God without Christ's atonement.

I've found that the best way to make baby is to keep it simple-- either straight out barbecue, with maybe a vinegar-based sauce to offset the natural sweetness of the flesh, or roasted like kat suggests.

When we roast our babies, I like to butter the skin, and prepare a mint sauce. Roast baby is kind of a cross between turkey and lamb, that way.

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Puffy Treat
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[Frown]

Some of the most normal people I know are Catholics.

(Episcopalians, now they're just nuts!)

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Scott R
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Unitarian Universalists give me the heebie-jeebies. They're so mean...and divisive! Not to mention exclusionary.
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Danlo the Wild
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Mormon baptism is the ONLY baptism apparently.
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aspectre
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Ask him if it's true that too much LDS makes ya grow pointy ears and wanna talk to the fishies.
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Danlo the Wild
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Baptisms and marriage for the dead?
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ketchupqueen
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quote:
Originally posted by Danlo the Wild:
Mormon baptism is the ONLY baptism apparently.

No, just the only one we consider valid.
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ketchupqueen
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quote:
Originally posted by Danlo the Wild:
Baptisms and marriage for the dead?

By proxy. Still people's choice.
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katharina
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I don't think it's a real discussion, KQ. Thor knows all this - he's trying to stir up something.
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ketchupqueen
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That's why I'm giving the short answers.

(To clarify, they're in case anyone ELSE reading it is really wondering.)

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ketchupqueen
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quote:
Originally posted by aspectre:
Ask him if it's true that too much LDS makes ya grow pointy ears and wanna talk to the fishies.

According to my two year old, yes.
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Scott R
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quote:
he's trying to stir up something.
Stir-fried baby, maybe?

I don't have any reason to think that Danlo knows all this, prior history here or not.

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katharina
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He was here for the massive, massive threads on all the topics brought up already.
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Scott R
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Yeah, but presence doesn't equal participation or knowledge.
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ketchupqueen
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BTW, I would pay good money to see someone ask if Mormons eat babies in a comparitive religions class. That would be awesome.
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ricree101
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quote:
Originally posted by ketchupqueen:

And we don't know where the gold plates are.)

I do....


Oh wait, I wasn't supposed to tell anyone about that, was I.

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Scott R
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How much money is good money?

How do I prove I asked the question?

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Threads
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If I eat babies does that make me an honorary Mormon?
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rollainm
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I'm totally asking the next couple of missionaries that knock on my door if they're "the ones that eat babies."
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Stephan
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According to the intro to religion video I showed my kids, Mormonism is not just a branch of Christianity but also of protestantism.
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Scott R
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It's not a branch of Protestantism the way that, say, Southern Baptists are-- we don't self-identify as having an intellectual or philosophical heritage derived from Luther, or Calvin, or any of the other Protestant fathers.

Instead, we believe that the LDS church derives its doctrine from modern revelation, which informs the understanding of scripture as well as reveals truths that are unique to Mormonism.

It's incorrect, IMO (and apparently the Supreme Court's, too! [Smile] ) to say that Mormonism is a protestant religion.

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ketchupqueen
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quote:
Originally posted by Scott R:
How much money is good money?

How do I prove I asked the question?

Um, $50?

A video on YouTube, proof of registration in that class, and a link to the teacher's bio would suffice.

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Tinros
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"Photons have mass? I didn't know they were Catholic..."

Episcopalians: Catholic Lite!

Sorry, I had to do it. I, also, would be interested in seeing someone ask if Mormons eat babies. Since we all know the TRUTH. [Wink]

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Javert
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quote:
Originally posted by Scott R:
No matter what the teacher says:

Mormons eat babies.

(I double-dog dare you to ask whether or not they do in class. Out loud.)

Just to be clear, my people are the ones who eat babies.
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ricree101
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quote:
Originally posted by Tinros:
I, also, would be interested in seeing someone ask if Mormons eat babies. Since we all know the TRUTH. [Wink]

Of course they do. What did you think was inside that Jello?
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Danlo the Wild
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I have respect for the The Church of Jesus Christ and The Latter Day Saints. The people of the LDS I have been pretty nice to me in real life (hatrack doesn't count. lucky you) on a whole, and I got a great chance to know a guy I worked with at the bookstore who was LDS. He was a very nice, very cool guy. He found love and got married right as I left Houston.

And you know what?

I prayed for him to meet his love and marry her during most of the time I knew him. He was a good guy and deserved love. He found it.

For that I was happy. He did his mission in Mexico City. Was fluent in spanish. Which came in handy in Houston. Good guy, spoke well for the faith.

I doubt many LDS here have much respect for my religion.

I was raised in a Norwegian Lutheran Church and stopped attending in my early 20's. Norwegian Mythology, Superhero Mythology, Film and the Force weaved their way into what I believe, and I have lived a very diverse life all over America, from the farms of Wisconsin, the tops of skyscapers in Chicago, spent much of my life skiing in Colorado, a ton all over Texas, Dallas, Ft. Worth, Arlington, Austin, Denton, and horrible Houston, and I spent over a year living in Hollywood, and a summer in Arizona, lots of time in Vegas. Spent a long weekend in New York, several weekends in St. Louis, and a few weeks in Florida. Spent a Thanksgiving in Arkansas.

All of this has crafted my own personal religion, though I believe I believe in the same God that people who believe in all incarnations of the Great And Good God do, and I believe in the basic foundations of Jesus that most Christians do.

And I wrote this thread, because in My Religion in America class, today we spent the 1:20 of the afternoon on the church of the LDS. So I thought it was thread worthy. And I will now try to read the Book of Mormon.

I should ace the LDS part of the quiz, I am getting my ass kicked in this class, even though I know lots of pre info.

I got an 88 on my "The failure of Christianity in the last 20 years: From Champions of the Poor to Megachurch Conversion Capitalists." but only got 48 points worth of credit, due to turning it in 5 days later, and improper MLA citation footnote crap.

Sigh.

I have a respect for all religions that contain the base of God and don't advocate something that is TOTALLY bullshit, like bombing soccer fields and cafes.

I wish every one was a cool as me on this issue.

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Samprimary
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Mormonism: weirder than catholicism but they're closer to home and they got this rockin choir so it's all good
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BlackBlade
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No actual baby recipes to be seen.

This thread does not deliver.

edit: Danlo, if you do end up reading the Book of Mormon, I'd be more than happy to answer any questions you have concerning the text. It's a wonderful book, but it can be daunting for some by virtue of it's King James version Bible English.

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The Rabbit
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quote:
And I wrote this thread, because in My Religion in America class, today we spent the 1:20 of the afternoon on the church of the LDS.
Just as an side, we really don't like being called the church of the LDS. Our Church is "The Church of Jesus Christ" not the church of the Latter Day Saints. It is an important distinction. Most people will give you a pass if you call it the Mormon Church or the LDS Church, but the Church of the LDS seriously rubs me the wrong way. The Church belongs to Jesus. The church does not belong to us, we belong to the church.
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Danlo the Wild
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done. The Church of Jesus Christ and the Latter Day Saints.
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The Rabbit
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quote:
Originally posted by BlackBlade:
No actual baby recipes to be seen.

This thread does not deliver.

If you had joined in the Hatrack Recipe challenge, you could have submitted baby as an ingredient. Then we could have seen how Mormon baby recipes differ from Jewish baby recipes.

The thing is that milk fed baby is naturally so tender and juicy that there really isn't a wrong way to cook it. I think it turns out particularly well roast on a spit with an apple in its mouth but you can really do anything with it. Baby cordon bleu, baby schnitzel, and baby with jerk seasoning are all excellent.

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The Rabbit
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quote:
Originally posted by Danlo the Wild:
done. The Church of Jesus Christ and the Latter Day Saints.

Well technically, it's "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints".
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Scott R
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I agree with Rabbit.

Tell me, BlackBlade, do you live in the western United States?

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steven
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"Jesus Christ and the Latter Day Saints"

If this were a band...What would Jesus Play?

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The Rabbit
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quote:
Originally posted by Scott R:
I agree with Rabbit.

About the name of the church or cooking babies?


quote:
Tell me, BlackBlade, do you live in the western United States? [/QB]
Last time I knew, he was attending BYU.
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BlackBlade
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Scott/Rabbit: Actually I attend UVU, the comfy Orem middle man between the Y and the U.

Why do you ask Scott?

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The Rabbit
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quote:
Originally posted by steven:
"Jesus Christ and the Latter Day Saints"

If this were a band...What would Jesus Play?

If would rapidly be shortened to "JC and the LDs".

Jesus would obviously play lead guitar, do the lead vocals and probably play all the rest of the instruments whenever there was a solo. The rest of us would just do backup.

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lem
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quote:
The rest of us would just do backup.
I would see Him more as the back up singer who is the real talent behind the band. The one that writes all the music, inspires everyone, and sings in the shadow.
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Elmer's Glue
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He'd be on bass.
You never really notice him, but you'd really miss him if he wasn't there.
Also it doesn't require much talent.

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Brinestone
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quote:
Originally posted by steven:
"Jesus Christ and the Latter Day Saints"

If this were a band...What would Jesus Play?

WWJP?
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