Amid controversies surrounding the integrity and trustworthiness of other mainstream media outlets, one source of truth in the world is being put down for good. I suspect aliens.
American Media, Inc., has announced that the Weekly World News, the weekly tabloid that has faithfully exposed the unsuspected sasquatches, the ancient hieroglyphic chocolate recipes, and the brand of salad dressing that will melt 40 pounds from your thighs will stop publishing with their August 27 issue after 28 years of nearly-journalistic excellence. Week in and week out, every Monday morning they revealed the real world for millions of grocery shoppers who had always suspected their neighbor was really a lesbian werewolf.
I think the quote from the 85-foot-Jesus really sums it up:
quote: "Sure, I can appear to the troops in Baghdad and show them visions of how to win, but I can't compete with drunken bikini-clad celebutants for the news cycle. All it takes is another famous and respected actor to go on a homophobic binge on the way to rehab for the Weekly World News to appear, you know, boring."
Truly, we are a civilization in decline.
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