I "grew up" Catholic. I went to Catholic school from K-8. I was baptised, received communion, and made confirmation. It didn't stick.
Somewhere during high school and college I became strongly atheist. All organized religion seemed like a sham. I needed to see proof of a god, and to me there was no scientific evidence. I believed that once you were dead, you were a lump in the ground. I had a very cynical approach to religion; I thought that religion was something that people needed to feel good about themselves at the end of the day.
On a vacation with my girlfriend at the time (now wife), we got bit by Montezuma's revenge in the Dominican Republic. Needless to say, I spent much time sitting on the throne. I decided to read the ever-handy Gideon's Bible. I don't remember anything of what I read, I just thought it was great that one was always around if you needed it for any reason.
Once I joined the workforce, one of my best friends had a breakdown, and as a result found Buddhism. I wouldn't say that they are 100% Buddhist, but many teachings resonate with him. He explained some of it to me, and some of it made sense. The greatest thing I remember (which may be cloudy) is that when the Buddha achieved Enlightenment, he knew all that there was to know. After seeing the grand sum of everything, he smiled. He could have frowned, but he smiled. That is one of the most incredibly positive concepts in my opinion.
Also, I am a music teacher. A colleague of mine asked me to arrange music to a passage of the Bible. I was surprised how easily it came to me, considering I haven't done anything similar before. I don't know if it was coincidence of my coworker's choice, or the fact it's what I was working on, or a divine revelation, but those words had a very strong impact on me. I didn't realize the power that words in the Bible could have. Here is the phrase:
Isaiah 40:6 The voice said, Cry. And he said, What shall I cry? All flesh is grass, and all the goodliness thereof is as the flower of the field: 7 The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: because the spirit of the LORD bloweth upon it: surely the people is grass. 8 The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: but the word of our God shall stand for ever.
For the last view years, I have been listening to a great deal of reggae music, more-so in the Roots style. Musicians include, Burning Spear, Scratch Perry, and of course Bob Marley. There also many uplifting messages in there, coming from the Rastafarians. After a bit of research, I was surprised that I agreed with some of their moral teachings.
Also in the music realm, there is wonderful song by Sufjan Stevens called "For the Widows in Paradise, the homeless in "Ypsilanti". It amazes me how beautiful "religious" songs can be. It is sung from the point of view of a Benevolent God. Here are the words:
I've have called you children I have called you son What is there to answer If I'm the only one Morning comes in Paradise Morning comes in light Still I must obey Still I must invite
If there's anything to say If there's anything to do I there's any other way I'd do anything for you
I was dressed in embarassment I was dressed in white If you had a part of me Will you take your time Even if I come back Even if I die Is there some idea To replace my life
Like a father to impress Like a mother's mourning dress If we ever make a mess I'll do anything for you
I have called you preacher I have called you son If you have a father Or if you haven't one I'll do anything for you I did everything for you
My wife and I got married in a Catholic church, but only because the chapel room at our reception was already booked. We had to do Pre-Cana; and we opted to 'get it over with' in a one day 6 hour class. The one phrase that stuck with me was "lot's of teenagers and early adults lose their religion, but always come back to the Church when they get married." I am not sure why I still remember this.
On our honeymoon in Hawaii, we were in a small novelty shop. (Ironically we bought a small Buddha figurine for my friend here) I was listening to the music in the background, and it was really groovy. I asked the clerk if she knew who it was, and it was Shimsai. She said she liked it because he had a really positive message to share with the world. Some of his tunes can be found here: myspace.com/shimshai
Also in my own songs, most of them I write because of/for/about my wife. But after looking back, I realize that some of the songs can be applied to idea of a God. It freaked me out at first, but now I have come to accept and embrace the idea that it is going to happen whether I want it to or not. In the end this is a good thing.
Another uplifting passage from the Bible is the very end of the book of Revelation. One night I read the whole thing. Much of it seemed like hullabaloo with all of the plagues and numbers, but as the end is finally here, this is what John's message is :
16 "I, Jesus, sent my angel to give you this testimony for the churches. I am the root and offspring of David, 10 the bright morning star." 17 The Spirit and the bride 11 say, "Come." Let the hearer say, "Come." Let the one who thirsts come forward, and the one who wants it receive the gift of life-giving water. 18 I warn everyone who hears the prophetic words in this book: if anyone adds to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book, 19 and if anyone takes away from the words in this prophetic book, God will take away his share in the tree of life and in the holy city described in this book. 20 12 The one who gives this testimony says, "Yes, I am coming soon." Amen! Come, Lord Jesus! 21 The grace of the Lord Jesus be with all.
I don't think that it's coincidence that as I learn more about music (my calling), that I have found some kind of spirituality from it. I wonder if it is exclusive to doing something I love, or if I would have found it if I chose to make something else of myself. (Ever notice how simple church melodies get stuck in your head? I still remember tunes from my catholic school days and I am 26!)
So to sum up my history:
Catholic Atheist Weak Agnostic Whatever I am now__________
I don't really know how to classify what I believe, or if that is even important... but I still want to know. The power of belief or faith in something greater than yourself is incredibly strong. I still think that anything orgranized is completely unnecessary, and I don't know what I think about an afterlife, the concepts of Heaven and Hell seem silly to me. But I would like think that there is more than just our time we have now. It is really comforting to think that their is someone else looking out for me, if I try to live a good life.
Can you guys help label me? I would be extremely grateful and would love to answer any clarifying questions.
Posts: 468 | Registered: Mar 2008
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I don't think there is a "label" or "name" for what you are. In my opinion, I think you've found the best kind of religion. The kind that speaks to YOU and the kind you've found through personal growth. I wouldn't worry about what it's called and just enjoy the peace and joy it's brought you! Posts: 601 | Registered: Sep 2002
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Anyway, I agree that you don't really need a label.
Whenever I hear religious passages or songs, I always mentally replace the word "God" with the word "love", and then I can find a way to relate the passages even though I'm not religious.
I've always felt like there isn't much difference between what I believe and what deeply spiritual people believe, even though I definitely don't believe in God.
It goes like this:
Do you believe that God is love? Yes. Do you believe that God is all-powerful? Yes. Then you believe that love is all-powerful? Yes. Well that's what I believe.
Posts: 930 | Registered: Dec 2006
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I don't think there is a short English label, but perhaps "Prone to explaining internal brain events through external forces" might do.
Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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I started a post just like this one some time back.
It's taken me a while but I'm starting to feel confident being NOS (not otherwise specified).
Usually, though, it doesn't come up except in my own head, and my version of God and I are doing just fine.
Posts: 2392 | Registered: Sep 2005
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Sounds like you missed the Book of Mormon so far. You've just GOT to read my favorite part, 3 Ne 17, where Christ appears to the Nephites. It's so amazing.
Don't worry about which religion you are. Just follow your heart where it leads you. Pick up the strain of that distant melody, there's no question the spirit comes through music all the time, and begin to hum along. I think your heart will lead you toward the truth.
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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I really appreciate your sharing. Perhaps you wouldn't mind me sharing my personal experience?
Taking someone else's exact words and believing them fully is one of the silliest ideas ever to be constructed by man.
I personally, although young and still searching for the truth, currently have my own sets of beliefs I am exploring.
I tried Christianity, but found it too hypocritical and judgmental for someone as outspoken and unconventional as I. Some people can take Christianity and see the beauty in every passage-but not me. I still like some of the ideas, but not my cup of tea.
I tried agnosticism, even atheism, but found a world without a God pointless and empty.
One year, about four years ago, the summer when I was thirteen, I started doing yoga very often, every morning at 5 to a program that came on our local PBS. Because it was summer and my parents let me stay up all night, I often went outside. I found a simple, alluring beauty in nature.
While doing yoga, I started meditating heavily. Let me tell you, that while meditating, I felt more at peace, more in tune with the beauty of the world, more tranquil than I had ever felt at virtually any other point in life. For someone so young, so in tumult, this was a revelation.
I, however, would still struggle putting a name to the presence I felt, but could not see; sought, but could not find.
I went through many personal changes, but couldn't discover what I considered "the truth". I was so desperate for something at one point I even heavily researched Satanism. That bounty also proved unfruitful, believe it or not.
While in high school, I fell in with the unconventional crowd-the rockers, the hippies, the drama kids, etc., and several good friends of mine I met-two good friends, and even my first boyfriend, were Wiccans.
Their religion interested me greatly, so I researched it, and even attempted to practice it. Many of the morals of Wicca, the universal acceptance of others, how in Wicca, there is beauty in everything and you're always *good* enough.
That was something all other religions up to this point seemed to be lacking. However, there were many things I didn't enjoy. There is a heavy focus on months of the year, cycles of the moon, and a very VERY heavy emphasis on magick. Every book I read seemed to be 90% spells instead of containing actual spiritual guidance.
I had the habit of going to the library, so one week I took out about seven books on wicca, paganism, demons, daemons, etc.
I finally settled down to read a good book on paganism. It had many different explanations on neo-paganism. I found i highly recognized with many terms that weren't specifically linked to Wicca, or to Christianity. I at one point found myself interested in the term "Christopagan", but later found myself completely disinterested in Christianity.
I found the religion I closely identified with was a primitive version of Wicca. Without the fluff, without the unnecessary bits.
I believe in God and Goddess in two parts that are both completely separate, yet equal, and perhaps even part of a cosmic whole. I haven't yet put a name or face on my Goddess, who I fell is love in all its wonderful forms.
Ironically enough, one of the quotes that help me find my deeper spiritual beliefs comes from an Orson Scott Card book [allow for errors in my quote-it's from memory]-in Wyrms, when Patience says to Will "[The Church] moves in circles," and he says, "No, it moves in spirals, each time getting closer and closer to perfection."
I don't know how I can doubt the existence of God when His love, His soul, His music, is sang in every blade of grass, every grain of sand, every drop of water, from the deepest oceans, to the outer reaches of the universe. I sing His praise, by loving, by living, by being. I don't know how I can ever be lonely when He is with me in all my ways. the same is true for the Goddess. And channeling the Goddess through meditation is my way to see the universe, to see every truth, all beauty.
Maybe Buddha was onto something good.
That's what I believe of humans, and indeed, human nature and the nature of the universe.
My sister said it best, who, having a similar belief system to mine, said we "have a million chances, a million lifetimes to do this again and again, a million chances to get it right."
That's my truth, and although I have a lot to learn, I think I'm on the right path.
And I think the fact that you have taken your own path in finding what you find to be the biggest truth is both wise, highly respectable and highly honorable. I salute you, good sir. Or madame, should that be the case.
As for music, I find the Beethoven quote to be quite true, as music is a highly meditative medium: "Music is the one incorporeal entrance into the higher world of knowledge which comprehends mankind but which mankind cannot comprehend.”
Edit:Well, my posts are *quite* long, aren't they?
Posts: 135 | Registered: Jun 2007
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