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Author Topic: Divorcing a Cat
Christine
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I'm done with my cats. Since I had kids, I really haven't had time for them anyway, and all they seem to do is destroy my house. The last straw was when they started pooping and today, peeing in my bedroom. We've tried all kinds of corrective techniques, though in truth some of these techniques require me to pay a bit more attention to the cats than I am able to do. I just don't want them anymore.

One of them is very sick and probably only has a year or two to live. She was recently diagnosed with kidney failure and my husband and I have been wrestling with whether or not to put her down. I'm still not sure, but I know there's no other way out of this house for her.

The other one is a very healthy 5.5-year-old cat who I wouldn't want to see destroyed just because I no longer want to be a pet owner. He was a humane society kitten when we got him. I'm not sure what I can do with him.

He's the purpose of this post. I was wondering if anyone knows how to put a cat up for adoption or otherwise see that he is provided for?

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MattP
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Adult cats are generally very hard to get rid of. You're probably stuck with it unless you decide to put it down. Try listing it in your local classifieds and maybe you'll get lucky.
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Strider
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aren't there any no-kill shelters in your area you can bring him to? both of them.
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Christine
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quote:
Originally posted by Strider:
aren't there any no-kill shelters in your area you can bring him to? both of them.

I looked up the no-kill shelter (only one) in our area but it didn't seem like they took in animals (directly), only adopted them out.
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Strider
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I would at least try calling them and explaining your situation. Even if they say they won't take them directly(which i'm surprised about), one of their foster people might take them in, at least temporarily till they find a better long term solution.
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Blayne Bradley
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My cats don't require much attention, they tend to sleep all day only occasionally badgering us for food like the God-Emperors they see themselves as.
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katharina
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I'm guessing you're not the one cleaning the litter box.
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The Rabbit
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I'd start asking friends if they or anyone they know would be interested in adopting a cat.

Do you have any idea which cat is peeing and pooping in undesired places? This would not be unusual behavior for a very sick cat. If its the younger cat doing it, it will be much harder to give him away.

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Leonide
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quote:
I would at least try calling them and explaining your situation. Even if they say they won't take them directly(which i'm surprised about), one of their foster people might take them in, at least temporarily till they find a better long term solution.
What he said. Some shelters are full up themselves, but the foster homes usually have room. I volunteer for a local no-kill shelter and in situations (like yours) where the only other option (for you) is putting one of the cats down, they will take them. Be sure to explain your cats' behavioral problems to the shelter so they can prepare for the issues you're dealing with.
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Christine
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quote:
Originally posted by Blayne Bradley:
My cats don't require much attention, they tend to sleep all day only occasionally badgering us for food like the God-Emperors they see themselves as.

I don't think they require a lot of attention (though there is food and litter box duty -- it's not a big deal and my son loves to feed them). It's more that in the 5 years I've had them, I have never been able to consistently convince them to poop and pee in the litter box. Oh, they do it 99% of the time, but that other 1% is quite sufficient to destroy my carpet and make the house stink. I can't even honestly say that they started doing this when I had my son, though they purposefully destroyed the carpet in the nursery when he was born (we have had to replace it). Even before that, though, they'd destroyed the carpet in the apartment we'd lived in before we moved into our house and we had to pay to have that replaced. I think I've read everything I can get my hands on about how to correct these kinds of problems, and I'll even think for a while that it's solved, but then they start in on it again.

Before our bedroom, there was this small patch of carpet at the bottom of our stairs leading to the basement -- just a tiny rectangular landing -- that they had made into their secondary litter box. Last month we tore it out and replaced it with peel and stick vinyl tile. That's when they started in on our bedroom. It's like they're convinced they need a patch of carpet somewhere in the house. We keep the litter box clean. We correct them every time we find a mess. We clean it and treat it. (Not that the smell ever really goes away.)

They're destructive. I guess I idealized having a cat because we had one when I was growing up (that my parents took care of). It's a whole different thing when you have to take care of an animal yourself. And it could be that these cats are more destructive than usual. My old cat used to make a mess when we went out of town for the weekend to show us he was mad, but other than that he didn't.

Oh, and the hairballs! Never get a long haired cat. I am sick to death of cleaning up hairballs. It's almost every day. Great gobs of cat vomit all over the place, sometimes formed, sometimes watery. That destroys the carpet too and is not correctable.

Sigh....I think I've known for about 3 years that it was a mistake to get the cats but I felt so guilty about it. It was all my idea, too. My husband didn't want them and he spent years saying, every time we had a new mess, "Why did we get the cats?" Finally, about a month ago, I asked him to please stop saying that because I knew I'd made a mistake. To his credit, he hasn't said it since.

Sorry about the vent...this isn't an easy thing for me to do. Part of me feels like they're my responsibility and I'm stuck with them, but I resent the cats a little more every day and that's just not a workable situation.

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Farmgirl
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People will hate me for saying this but...

just put them both down. Yes, that makes you responsible for the cost of doing it -- but no sense in pawning problem animals off on anyone else.

They are cats - animals. If they were livestock (which are also animals) they would have gone the way of the salebarn/slaughterhouse.

There are thousands (millions?) of cats out there no one wants. Filling up shelters and being destroyed daily by said shelters. Save them the trouble.

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Christine
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quote:
Originally posted by The Rabbit:
I'd start asking friends if they or anyone they know would be interested in adopting a cat.

Do you have any idea which cat is peeing and pooping in undesired places? This would not be unusual behavior for a very sick cat. If its the younger cat doing it, it will be much harder to give him away.

I think they both are, but it's hard to know for sure with two cats. And actually, they are both the same age. They were litter mates. One of them is just a very sickly cat and has been all along. The vet said she may as well be 20, given the state of her kidneys.

I'm calling shelters now...the one I found on-line was full but they knew of two more so I'm still hoping.

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The Pixiest
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Christine: I was at my wits end with my cat, Helen.

Ever since we had the babies last summer, she was pooping on the floor multiple times per day, she'd pee on the bed and she'd pee on the couch.

I'd had enough. I told my husband I was no longer going to live in a sewer. I was ready to give her away or put her down. And my hubby wouldn't stand for either option. (He's a cat lover.)

Fortunately, we came up with a solution.

We banished Helen to a room for a week. She had food and a litter box but not a lot else. We'd go in there and visit with her and pet her then lock her back up. She was furious. She meowed endlessly. She clawed at the door (and figured out how to make a jarring noise with the springy doorstop.) And she used her litter box.

It wasn't about the punishment, it was about getting her to remember to use her walnut brain and USE her litter box.

Now that's just what she does. Uses her litter box. And if she forgets and poops on the floor, it's another week in the hole.

In any event pooping incidents have gone from twice a day to once every other month or so.

But my couch still smells funny =(

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Leonide
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quote:
They are cats - animals. If they were livestock (which are also animals) they would have gone the way of the salebarn/slaughterhouse.

There are thousands (millions?) of cats out there no one wants. Filling up shelters and being destroyed daily by said shelters. Save them the trouble.

I don't hate you for saying this. But those cats aren't livestock. And not all shelters "destroy" their tenants. I respect your opinion about the matter, but you're drawing a huge blanket over a complex issue. You may see cats in this manner, but not all people do. I admire Christine for recognizing she had a problem and not immediately taking the most extreme route to solve it.
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Christine
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Pixie -- my neighbor suggested the same thing to me about 2 years ago (it worked with her cat as well) and we did exactly what you suggested. It even seemed to work for a few months, but then they adopted the landing carpet. [Frown]

I really have tried a lot of things.

I did leave a message with a no-kill shelter that said it would take surrendered animals by appointment and usually had a 2-month waiting list. I'm most hopeful about them. The other two places just said they were completely full and that I should try the city shelter. I figure I can handle two more months of this. Plus, it would serve as a cooling off period, to make sure this is really what I want to do. So here's hoping that will work out...

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The Pixiest
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Christine: I'm sorry to hear that. =( I hope the no-kill shelter takes them soon.

Though, as Rabbit suggested, it might just be the sick on. Have you separated them so you can find out which one is desecrating your home? Lock one up, let one roam free, then swap?

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CaySedai
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The only two things that come to my mind are: changing the type of litter and maybe putting a small bit of carpet in a litter box (you should be able to get carpet remnants cheap) that can be tossed frequently. There may be something tactile going on with the cats (WAG - I'm no expert).

I would have the sick one put to sleep, though. You can spend thousands of dollars, not improve its life any, and the cat will still die. (After seeing my boss go through this with a dog with cancer, and now she seems to adopt any sick, elderly dog that comes along - sad.)

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Christine
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quote:
Originally posted by CaySedai:


I would have the sick one put to sleep, though. You can spend thousands of dollars, not improve its life any, and the cat will still die. (After seeing my boss go through this with a dog with cancer, and now she seems to adopt any sick, elderly dog that comes along - sad.)

That's for sure! I already learned this lesson with her when she was a kitten. We spent thousands of dollars on her treating some kind of rare ear infection that nearly killed her. She recovered from that, but she's been so scrawny and unhealthy her entire life and we always knew she wouldn't live long anyway. And here we are, 5 years later (longer than I might have guessed). The vet diagnosed her with kidney failure (that cost $400) but we refused the thousands of dollars worth of treatment he recommended. We've just got her at home, eating a special kind of cat food, and are doing the best we can. I'm not really sure how much pain she's in, but she's all skin and bones and is losing fur by the handful. She still seems to come out to get attention, though. She's not completely lethargic or anything.

It may be that I should put her down, though, and give the other one a chance -- see if there are any more messes in the house.

I'd love to do what Pixie suggested and just separate them, but they just don't mess on the carpet consistently enough. Sometimes days will go by, sometimes weeks. Once it was a few months. We could be spending a long time with the cat locked up, and we don't even have a comfortable place to lock them. Our house is completely open except for bedrooms and bathrooms -- so when we were doing the litter box training we locked them in our bathroom/laundry room, which is large but not cozy. We put beds and blankets in there for them, but it's not ideal. It's a cage and it could be weeks or months before we figured out who the culprit is.

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Amilia
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Any chance you could transition them to being outside cats instead of inside cats?
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Fitz
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Maybe it's just me, but these cats don't sound like "problem" animals to be pawned off (responding to Farmgirl). Not using the litter box 1% of the time is a small problem as far as owning a cat goes. Tearing up carpets, sofas, anything they can get their claws into is pretty normal cat behavior. These things are to be expected.

It strikes me as callous to suggest putting down a 5 year old cat for very slight behavioral problems that could be attributed to something as simple as a lack of TLC. I'm glad Christine is looking for a better alternative.

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Samprimary
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There is no smell more vile to me than the sharp, ammonia-like odor of a typical apartment with a cat. I am never, ever going to own one.

But I guess someone has to. I mean, they're cute when they're kittens, and someone has to keep Febreze in business, right?

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Jamio
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Have they been indoor cats their whole life? Because if they won't freak out, maybe you can find someone out in the country with a barn and a soft spot for cats.
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Tstorm
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Try Laxatone for the hairball problem. It seems to work wonders on my parents' cats.
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andi330
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quote:
Originally posted by Samprimary:
There is no smell more vile to me than the sharp, ammonia-like odor of a typical apartment with a cat. I am never, ever going to own one.

If you use the right kind of litter, and your cat is well trained in the litter box this does not have to be a problem. My father is shocked every time he comes to visit because he's always sure my apartment will smell like cat and it never does. Crystal litters are the best!
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Uprooted
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Christine, I don't envy you your dilemma. Hope you're able to find resolutions that you're okay with.
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Samprimary
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quote:
Originally posted by andi330:
quote:
Originally posted by Samprimary:
There is no smell more vile to me than the sharp, ammonia-like odor of a typical apartment with a cat. I am never, ever going to own one.

If you use the right kind of litter, and your cat is well trained in the litter box this does not have to be a problem. My father is shocked every time he comes to visit because he's always sure my apartment will smell like cat and it never does. Crystal litters are the best!
I would probably be anal enough to pull it off but I'm just too opposed on principle to having a box of poop in my house at any one given time, and I can't look at a kitten I might otherwise purchase and not think "there is a non-zero probability that you will at some point go completely nosty, crazy, or physically defunct on me someday and start pissing all over everything I own, I I I .. I am very sorry, I cannot, I simply cannot"
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Tatiana
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I hope you find some way of fixing this problem, or if you don't, then I hope you find good homes for your kitties.

And I totally agree with the posters here who feel that they don't want pets. Anyone who doesn't feel up to dealing with vomit, pee, and/or poop should not get a cat, nor have a child.

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Christine
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quote:
Originally posted by Tatiana:

And I totally agree with the posters here who feel that they don't want pets. Anyone who doesn't feel up to dealing with vomit, pee, and/or poop should not get a cat, nor have a child.

It is completely different to deal with vomit, pee, and poop when it's a child. I would do anything for my children. I cannot imagine feeling the same way for a pet. That's not to say that people can't have strong emotional attachments to their animals, but it annoys me when people try to compare the two. I've got friends who think having cats is like having kids and I cannot even express the depths to which it is not.
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Samprimary
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quote:
Originally posted by Tatiana:
And I totally agree with the posters here who feel that they don't want pets. Anyone who doesn't feel up to dealing with vomit, pee, and/or poop should not get a cat, nor have a child.

Nuh-uh. I still get to have a kiddo, because a human will upgrade to pooping in the toilet.
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kmbboots
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quote:
Originally posted by Samprimary:
quote:
Originally posted by Tatiana:
And I totally agree with the posters here who feel that they don't want pets. Anyone who doesn't feel up to dealing with vomit, pee, and/or poop should not get a cat, nor have a child.

Nuh-uh. I still get to have a kiddo, because a human will upgrade to pooping in the toilet.
You assume.
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Christine
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quote:
Originally posted by kmbboots:
quote:
Originally posted by Samprimary:
quote:
Originally posted by Tatiana:
And I totally agree with the posters here who feel that they don't want pets. Anyone who doesn't feel up to dealing with vomit, pee, and/or poop should not get a cat, nor have a child.

Nuh-uh. I still get to have a kiddo, because a human will upgrade to pooping in the toilet.
You assume.
I'm still assuming that, but my son is 3_1/2 and no sign of it yet...
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Samprimary
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quote:
Originally posted by kmbboots:
quote:
Originally posted by Samprimary:
quote:
Originally posted by Tatiana:
And I totally agree with the posters here who feel that they don't want pets. Anyone who doesn't feel up to dealing with vomit, pee, and/or poop should not get a cat, nor have a child.

Nuh-uh. I still get to have a kiddo, because a human will upgrade to pooping in the toilet.
You assume.
It's either that or I sell them for parts.
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Christine
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Well, today has been a rough day. After a lot of soul searching, we decided that there was nothing to be done for the sick kitty. She's been losing more weight lately, she wouldn't come out of her hiding spot in the basement, she was losing a lot of fur, and she started to develop these lesions on her skin. Soo....today we took her to the vet for the last time and had them put her down. I'm still in a bit of shock about it.

The healthy cat, though, will be going to a no-kill shelter on August 13th. They called today and gave us an appointment.

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rivka
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*hug*
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Leonide
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Sorry you had to make a tough decision like that, Christine. Glad the other cat is getting taken by the shelter.
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Uprooted
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I'm sorry. It sounds like it was time.
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