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Author Topic: Kindergarten Support
DDDaysh
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So... I have to face it. Tonight is the last night I will be a Pre-Schoolers mom. Tomorrow is the big day (or the big K).

Am I just insane to be this nervous about it? Does anyone else have a child starting school for the first time tomorrow? How are you coping with it.

Here are the main things I'm having problems with:

1) Someone else now has contol over our lives. Before, if I was off of work, I could take my son out of Pre-K or daycare and we could do... whatever. That isn't an option anymore, and even though I don't really know why, this makes me nervous.

2) Expectations. This is the first time there have been any real, external, expectations placed on my son. I know it had to happen sometime, but I'm so terrified that somehow he won't measure up. I know who he is. I know his strengths and hsi weaknesses, and I love him for all of it - but what about the rest of the world?

3) Homework - GROAN! I don't get home until after 6, he's supposed to be in bed by 8... where exactly is homework gunna fit in. I'm pretty sure I know. It's going to take the place of what used to be our "family fun time" and that makes me sad. I'm also worried about the fights it will cause. Maybe I'm panicking over nothing on this one, but I don't like it.

4) I feel old!!!! - Ok, I know, this one I just have to get over, and I pretty much have. Still, it makes me sad that my baby isn't a baby anymore.

So what about everyone else? Am I making a bigger deal out of this than it should be?

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Katarain
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Read OSC's commentaries on the evils of homework and boycott it for your son.
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Teshi
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Kindergarteners shouldn't have significant homework, imo.

But I digress. Congratulations!

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DDDaysh
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I'm not willing to put my son through being a "cause"... though I rather agree that most homework is pointles. (at least in the early grades)
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Katarain
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I see it as being damaging, so I would boycott it for my children, not just a cause.

I haven't had to deal with sending my child to kindergarten, being as she's only 18 months, but I sympathize.

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Belle
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I've put four children through kindergarten in public schools and not once was there homework. In first grade the only homework any of them ever had was to read with me 15 minutes a night.

So, don't expect much homework in kindergarten. Best of luck! I'm sure it will go well. [Smile]

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lem
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My son's first day of kindergarden was 10 days ago. He is also our first child. I had no reservations or fears. I am excited for his horizon to broaden.

My wife is a stay at home mom. She is wonderful at taking him to places in town like libraries and city activities. She is also very active with him--going swimming and to the park for hours each day. We read every night as a family. But his world is still small.

His two best friends are girls. He has a sister and a stay at home mom. I work a lot, but I try to spend as much time with my family as I can.

I am excited for him to be around boys. Hopefully he can make new friends. If I find public school to be a threat, we have plenty of charter schools with good reputations. However, it has been a positive experience so far.

I was actually a little bothered by how little challenged he is, but then I remember that kindergarten is mostly there to get kids used to the routines of school. There won't be much homework.

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dawnmaria
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I am having the same anxieties. I can't believe I won't have her all day for 5 days a week! My little girl was in half day preschool for 3 days a week last year. She's starting K 9/9. She WILL have homework! She'll have a weekly spelling test! She is going to a private school for Kindergarten then she'll go to public next year. The private school let her start Kindergarten based on merit and not age like the public schools do. I just can't get over that she'll be gone all day! Well, now it's my baby boy's turn for Mommy time!
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DDDaysh
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Well, I'm used to not having my son with me. I'm a single mom, so I have to work, and he's been in daycare and pre-k his whole life. Still, Kindergarten is something different.

The drop off went ok, so now I have to wait until 2:30 to see how the day actually went!

I'm still worried about homework. Our Kinder does have homework. If they stay consistent with what they did last year, it averages out to 30-45 minutes a day (which I think is extremely excessive). They usually have one or two math sheets, their site word flash cards, as spelling or handwriting activity, and a story. No single activity takes very long, but when you put them all together...

How long is your daughter's private Kindergarten day?

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Catseye1979
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I remember I hated homework as a kid. Best advise I can give is encourage him to do what he can by himself, then when you get home you can review what he did and help him with whatever he couldn't do solo (like reading with a parent). I got to the point where the 10 min bus ride was normally enough to finish my homework.
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scholarette
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I am so excited for next Wednesday. Though mine is just going to pre-school two times a week. But I can't wait for it to start. Though now that she is a little girl and not a baby, it makes my husband think maybe we need a new baby.
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Christine
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quote:
Originally posted by Katarain:
Read OSC's commentaries on the evils of homework and boycott it for your son.

Ok, just assuming that there is an unreasonable amount of homework in kindergarten, how exactly does one boycott it? It seems like a pointless thing to do that is more likely to hurt your child (since he will be getting bad grades) than to affect any real change.

I have heard rumors that homework has become unreasonable of late. Since my oldest is 3, I haven't seen it.

Speaking of 3-year-olds, he returned to pre-school last week. This would normally have been his first year in pre-school but he started early on a speech IEP right after his birthday last November. Unfortunately, his friend from last year is not in his class this year and he is fixated on this. I'm not sure how to help him move past this issue.

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scholarette
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I am torn on the issue of homework. I do strongly believe that with math, doing a problem many, many times is needed to really make it an instinctive part of you. But, I also feel like kids spend too much time working. I think I would actually prefer a shorter school day with the work done in class done at home. Of course, I am a sahm right now so I have a bit more time to actually sit down and force kids to do stuff.
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dawnmaria
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quote:
Originally posted by DDDaysh:

How long is your daughter's private Kindergarten day?

She'll go from 8:30 until 3:15. It's going to be quite a jump from 3 half days a week!
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Christine
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quote:
Originally posted by scholarette:
I am torn on the issue of homework. I do strongly believe that with math, doing a problem many, many times is needed to really make it an instinctive part of you. But, I also feel like kids spend too much time working. I think I would actually prefer a shorter school day with the work done in class done at home. Of course, I am a sahm right now so I have a bit more time to actually sit down and force kids to do stuff.

I definitely think kids need more play time. Your last sentence there really struck something with me -- the use of the word "force." The thing that worries me looking forward is that forcing my son has never gotten me anywhere. The more hands off I am, the more I follow his lead, the more he learns. I actually came to understand a few months ago that a probably part of his speech delay was my constantly trying to get him to talk. I started backing off after I read a book that gave me some new suggestions and in the past 8 months he's leaped forward.

But it's with other things too. I've tried to "teach" him the alphabet, numbers, colors, and shapes. Won't happen. But when he's in the mood, when he asks me about them, he is very receptive and learns quickly. He is now teaching himself to write his letters with absolutely no direction from me (although plenty of praise when he comes up to me and shows me his lopsided letters).

I'm concerned that when he gets into real school (not just pre-school), that he's going to wither in an environment that forces him to learn the things they think are important on their schedule and in their way. I was hearing about Montessori schools which focus on self-directed learning and wondering if he has trouble, then we might need to look into a private school like that.

Anyway, I tend to think that our entire approach to eduction is flawed. For one thing, I wish the federal government would get their paws out. If a single school district or even a state screws up, it's easier to fix, but when the federal government does "no child left behind" -- well, come one, who thinks it's a good idea and yet it's still in place.

I'd like to see more choice in education too. Not every child has the same needs when it comes to learning. Some need to do the math problem 100 times to understand it and others need to move on already! Not to mention the fact that some people learn best visually, some through auditory channels, etc.

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Flying Fish
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My youngest boy goes to Fifth grade today.

As a youth I despised homework. Lots of tears and frustration and procrastination and bad feelings. I was determined that it would be different with my kids. Here are some things which helped for me.

Make sure your child has a dedicated place to sit and spread out the work. Make sure he or she has a good chair and good lighting. I try to sit nearby working on something of my own. Not at his elbow or over his shoulder, but nearby for any questions. And we take it as a given that he gets a few minutes (about 30) to unwind, and have a snack, change out of school clothes, then he needs to sit down and start. Math always seemed to bring the most frustrations, so that never gets put off until later, when he's most tired.

Try to incorporate some games and fun activities. At my house it's "Mad Monkey." As soon as he completes a section of homework, he lets me check it, then I impersonate a crazed ape, wrestling him and howling. (This assumes your child would like something like that.)

Congratulations! Just 12, or 16, or 20-some more years to go!

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scholarette
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Christine, it sounds like yours and mine are a lot alike. [Smile] Mine refuses to learn anything we try to teach her, but she can be a total sponge. It is very hard for me to learn to back off. Esp since my sister in law is constantly comparing my methods with hers. Her son is the total opposite as my daughter- stubbornness is not in his nature and so the lessons and stuff work really well.
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Darth_Mauve
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One cartoonist I read says that He and his wife do an annual, "Bye-bye Breakfast" at the nearest pancake joint. They can let out all their tears and fears and feel a bit better before going on to work. I say anything that offers pancakes is a good idea.

That said, this year we transitioned Sasha from a Montessori near our works to a public school near our house.

We work 45 miles from home.

He went from a school of 20+ kids to a classroom of just under 20 kids.

I had 1000 times the stress this year than I did when he went from being in the Montessori's preschool to the Montessori's Grade school.

He handled it without a hitch. Kids are flexible that way.

Its we adults who can't take the shocks to our systems.

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DDDaysh
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Very true Darth. I'm the one fretting, and he's the one sitting back and enjoying it.

Scholarette - I know how you feel about the lessons. My son was speech delayed, and in general just not as "quick" as all my little brothers were. It was very difficult for me to back off from comparing him to them. For instance, at age 3 one of my little brothers was already adding and subtracting with negative numbers. The other was reading, telling articulate stories, and just generally functioned like a little professor. My child - well, you could barely understand him unless you took it for granted that it would sound like he was talking under water! He steadfastly refused to learn his colors, counting, or any of his letters.

Then, suddenly, one day he just knew all his colors. And, when I say that, I truly mean from one day to the next. Letters weren't QUITE as abrupt, but very nearly. He went from maybe identifying about half of them about half the time to knowing them all, with no mistakes, in about 3 weeks. That's one of the reasons I'm so worried about Kinder... learning on someone else's time table might not go so well.

For instance, I was doing some homeschooling with him this year, trying to get ahead. We were using a wonderful book that Ketchupqueen recomended for reading. It was going extremely well, and he was catching on with no problems. Then... the book made the font in the "story" part of each lesson just a tiny bit smaller. My son totally freaked out and absolutely REFUSED to read the stories anymore. He could do all the single words just fine, but as soon as I flipped to the story page he'd freak out, start breathing rapidly and even crying. Well... after about a week of that I decided that we were going to put reading on hold for the rest of the summer. No use giving him a complex about it!

So far, so good though. Homework today was pretty simple. He knows all his sight words already and all his letters, numbers, and colors. The only things he really has to work on are his seasons, months, and days of the week. (He knows those in songs, but can't really separate them out!)

I still think it's too much homework for a Kinder kid to have (takes about 30 minutes, all together) but right now he seems excited about it, so I suppose it's not all bad. Besides, I guess it's good to get them used to having it, since I don't think we're going to be going to a homeworkless school anytime soon!

Darth, what grade is your son in?

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Darth_Mauve
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Sasha started 3rd Grade.

He's had two years of Montessori Elementary School, plus Kindergarten plus a year of preschool all with the same people at the same place. This was a big change for him, and he did it without a quip.

More importantly, one of the reasons I pushed the move was that Sasha was having trouble with his reading. Possibly Dyslexic based problems made him want to not read. Today he came home with his first set of real "Spelling List" words, and he has taken to them with enthusiasm.

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Christine
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quote:
Originally posted by DDDaysh:

Scholarette - I know how you feel about the lessons. My son was speech delayed, and in general just not as "quick" as all my little brothers were. It was very difficult for me to back off from comparing him to them. For instance, at age 3 one of my little brothers was already adding and subtracting with negative numbers. The other was reading, telling articulate stories, and just generally functioned like a little professor. My child - well, you could barely understand him unless you took it for granted that it would sound like he was talking under water! He steadfastly refused to learn his colors, counting, or any of his letters.

Then, suddenly, one day he just knew all his colors. And, when I say that, I truly mean from one day to the next. Letters weren't QUITE as abrupt, but very nearly. He went from maybe identifying about half of them about half the time to knowing them all, with no mistakes, in about 3 weeks. That's one of the reasons I'm so worried about Kinder... learning on someone else's time table might not go so well.

The thing I identified about my son that made me really understand how he learned and why I should *never* compare him to other children is this: He's not a mimic.

Most children mimic to one degree or another. The best mimics come across, particularly early in life, as being a lot more intelligent than other children because whatever you tell them they can rattle back to you. It's hard to even know if they understand concepts at this age or if they're just that good at repeating. Most of the time, I think, when I see 18-month-olds saying the alphabet or 2-year-olds quoting Bible verses (not my thing, I promise) I really don't think they know what they're saying. They're just mimics and they know when they do those things it makes mom and dad proud.

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scholarette
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My nephew is a brilliant mimic. He is just barely two and can say antidisestablishmentarianism. Yes, we did actually try that. My daughter, on the other hand, won't repeat a word even for a treat she really wants. For example, her aunt (my nephew's mother) won't give cookies unless you say please. So, Bin doesn't ever get a cookie from her aunt. She will say please most of the time actually, just if she forgets and you ask, she will just get this stubborn look on her face and not say a word.
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DDDaysh
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lol.. Scholar, that reminds me of when my son was about that age. We really worried that he was autistic because, in addition to not talking, he had these serious spacing out episodes.

The thing was, he was almost the "opposite" of the autistic communication pattern. Most verbal Autistic children, at young ages, will answer when probed, but will not initiate conversation.

My son was totally different. He'd come up to you and say things, but absolutely would not respond to any questions asked of him - also, his statements were almost never requests for something he wanted, but rather just comments on the world. So we would get things like, "Big Wind", or "Bright Moon", or "Scary Ants", but never "I want a cookie" and if you asked him anything, all you'd get was a blank look!

In then end though, it's all come right. Now the trick is getting him to ever shut up!

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Darth_Mauve
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When Sasha first went to preschool he knew no English. He was quiet and playful.

His second semester we received the following comment on his report card. "This term Sasha has found his voice. Now we are working on him losing it."

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scifibum
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My boy is starting K tomorrow. He has a test this afternoon. I have to remember to ask how to deliver him tomorrow - I'm not sure if we're just supposed to make sure he gets through the front door or if there's something a little more structured for kindergartners. I'm also not sure what supplies he needs, since the list they provided at registration was clearly a joke. (Each child needs his own stapler? I don't think so.)
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DDDaysh
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You might be surprised Scifi... some of the things they ask for are a bit odd. For instance, we had to bring a roll of double sided tape.

Let us know how it goes!

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scifibum
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Talked to the K teacher and she said they don't really need to bring ANY supplies - what they need is in the classroom.

Kinda makes more sense than a list that would be more than my child is actually capable of carrying with him into class.

I'll be happy to donate supplies to the classroom if needed, but the list we got from the school was suggesting that EACH child would need a complete office supply inventory, which might be true for 5th graders but not for kinderkids.

Anyway the teacher was very nice, and there is indeed a protocol for handing over our child which is very reassuring. And Casey seems excited and was very cooperative and attentive during his pre-assessment, which was the big worry: whether he'd get with the program or not.

He's going in at 12:45 today for the first day of school! Yikes! Woohoo!

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Flying Fish
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The double sided tape is for trussing the kids up and sticking them all together when the teacher just can't take it anymore.
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TomDavidson
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quote:
the list we got from the school was suggesting that EACH child would need a complete office supply inventory, which might be true for 5th graders but not for kinderkids
I had the same reaction. But when I asked about it, I was told that, no, it really was the list we were expected to fulfill.
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scifibum
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Huh. I must have seemed extra sad about it. She let me off the hook.
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Christine
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Well, everyone bringing in tape makes sense to me, but can't the kids share staplers? I mean, I could even see them asking each kid to bring in a box of staples.

I don't know, I'm just getting a taste of the school supply list in pre-school. They asked me to get him a "washable stamp pad" -- whatever that is! I looked at 3 stores, including Hobby Lobby, and nothing. BTW, I think Hobby Lobby is the most useless store on the face of the planet. The name is so misleading. You'd think they'd have just about everything you'd need for crafts and hobbies but mostly I think they have expensive, useless knick knacks.

Ok, I'm done now. [Smile]

But on to a different topic....friends. My son just finished his second week of pre-school and has made no friends at school. He had one last year, and he keeps going on about how he wants that little boy back in his class. I wish I knew how to help him.

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theresa51282
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I was a preschool teacher for three years before I had my daughter so I can help a bit. A washable stamp pad is probably for giving the kids a reward. We used our to stamp hands after kids went to the bathroom. The washable part is so the kids don't have stamps everywhere by the end of the week. You should be able to find them just about anywhere. I know that the Target by me has them in the art supply section. They can also make for good art projects for preschools who don't yet have the ability to draw much. Its exciting to for them to see discernible pictures.


As for the no friends thing, the most helpful solution that I have found for parents is to just keep encouraging your child to participate. Most preschool classes are fairly small and the kids eventually become close. The biggest hinderance is the kid who just doesn't want to participate. Although not necessary, some of the three year olds in my class had great success making friends via playdates. If that isn't feasible, simply letting the kids play together after class for a bit outside on nice days was a good opportunity to get to know the other parents and also to encourage cooperative play. All this is easy for me to suggest now when I am just remembering from the teachers side. I am sure I would feel equally upset and helpless though if my daughter has this problem when she gets to preschool. I wish you luck

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scholarette
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We met my daughters preschool teachers today. They seem nice. Bin freaked out a little. Initially she ran off and played but then after a couple minutes she came back and clung to me. She got her nerve back up to go play with the other kids again and one girl tried to pull the doll out of her hands, so she ran back to me. I keep telling her when another kid takes your toy, you shove them down, but she just doesn't seem to get it. ;-) Hopefully things will go better when no parents are there.
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DDDaysh
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I wish I knew how to help Christine. Almost everyone from my son's Pre-K class is now in kinder with him, and even so he doesn't seem to really have any friends. He has lots of kids that he knows, but none he really seems to play with. And on Wednesday he came home from Kinder saying that Kaden (the little boy who sits at his table) said he didn't want to be friends anymore!

I had no idea that stuff could start so early!!!

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