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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Finally Here and SO Adorable! Or, the Mommies with New Babies Thread (Page 0)

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Author Topic: Finally Here and SO Adorable! Or, the Mommies with New Babies Thread
rivka
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quote:
Originally posted by ludosti:
Should I just forget about utensils or should I keep trying?

At that age, I'd definitely drop it for a while. Whenever possible, avoid power struggles over food. And 2 or even 3 is plenty old enough to learn to use utensils.

Does she drink from a cup, sipper or otherwise?

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ludosti
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Yeah I try really hard not to struggle with her over food, which of course means that some days all she eats is Cheerios, but her food tastes are pretty varied so I'm not worried about her not getting a balanced diet. I just can't figure out how to get her to eat things like yogurt or applesauce (that she loved when she was in the spoon phase). Maybe I should make popsicles out of them?

She's been drinking from a straw cup for quite a while now (since she was maybe 10 months old or so) and will drink from a regular cup when I hold it for her (she's learning how to help hold it, but she's not quite ready to wield it on her own). She loves getting to have a drink of whatever I have in my cup (milk, juice, smoothie, etc.), even when she doesn't want to drink the same thing from her cup.

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Christine
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quote:
Originally posted by ludosti:
Yeah I try really hard not to struggle with her over food, which of course means that some days all she eats is Cheerios, but her food tastes are pretty varied so I'm not worried about her not getting a balanced diet. I just can't figure out how to get her to eat things like yogurt or applesauce (that she loved when she was in the spoon phase). Maybe I should make popsicles out of them?

As far as things that require spoons like yogurt and oatmeal -- I'm sure she'll come around. Celeste fists that stuff. Talk about a mes!

Here's my philosophy: I do not make any attempt to get my kids to eat any specific food. I say when, where, and what -- the kids say how much. At each full meal, I pick foods from at least 4 of the 5 food groups, including 1 food that is a "safe" food (something they are likely to want to eat). Then I put it all in front of them and let them eat, or not eat, as they see fit. No substitutions.

My son actually manages to be a fussy easter despite this. I've been calling him picky but I realized recently that's not true -- he really just doesn't like food much at all. Weird. Especially since he came out of my DNA. [Smile]

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rivka
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quote:
Originally posted by ludosti:
Yeah I try really hard not to struggle with her over food, which of course means that some days all she eats is Cheerios, but her food tastes are pretty varied so I'm not worried about her not getting a balanced diet. I just can't figure out how to get her to eat things like yogurt or applesauce (that she loved when she was in the spoon phase). Maybe I should make popsicles out of them?

She's been drinking from a straw cup for quite a while now (since she was maybe 10 months old or so) and will drink from a regular cup when I hold it for her (she's learning how to help hold it, but she's not quite ready to wield it on her own). She loves getting to have a drink of whatever I have in my cup (milk, juice, smoothie, etc.), even when she doesn't want to drink the same thing from her cup.

Mini-popsicles sound like a great idea. I recommend using an ice cube tray. And if she will take milk from a cup regularly, she may reduce the times per day she wants to nurse. IME, that can help with the I-want-to-nurse-her-but-I'm-so-tired-of-this feeling.


quote:
Originally posted by Christine:
Here's my philosophy: I do not make any attempt to get my kids to eat any specific food. I say when, where, and what -- the kids say how much. At each full meal, I pick foods from at least 4 of the 5 food groups, including 1 food that is a "safe" food (something they are likely to want to eat). Then I put it all in front of them and let them eat, or not eat, as they see fit. No substitutions.

Good plan. [Smile]
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ketchupqueen
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Maggie has decided I'm her favorite teething toy. I discourage her in this when she's awake, but now she's taken to doing it while asleep.

Ouch. 'Nuff said.

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ketchupqueen
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If you have little ones who like to dance, like mine, and like music you can share with them wihtout wincing, check this out! Download the album Catch That Train by Dan Zanes for $1.99 at Amazon, today only.

I've been meaning to buy some Dan Zanes for a while and this seems a good place to start! I'm listening to it now, it's great. [Smile]

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theresa51282
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Ellie finally took three steps today. She repeated this feat about 7 times. I am so thrilled and proud. Even though I didn't admit it, I was getting nervous that she wasn't walking yet. She'll be 15 months next week. In other positive news, her pedi says she is way ahead in her verbal abilities. She is up to around 50 words and says 2-3 word phrases. I am so proud of my little one.
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Liz B
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Nathaniel finally started walking at 16.5 months and really got good at it about two weeks later (17 months).

Life has changed quite a bit since then.

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Brinestone
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quote:
Originally posted by Liz B:
Nathaniel finally started walking .

Life has changed quite a bit since then.

QFT
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ludosti
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quote:
Originally posted by theresa51282:
Ellie finally took three steps today. She is up to around 50 words and says 2-3 word phrases.

Yay! You now have what my mom calls a "walkie talkie". [Smile] Her verbal skills sound fabulous! I'm a little jealous.

Beanie has great motor skills (she started walking at 12 months and pretty much runs now at 18), but doesn't seem to feel like talking. She says mama, dada, uhoh, and hi regularly. She'll occasionally say buba (bubbles), byebye, peas (please), and bo (one of our cats) and she babbles quite a bit. I know her hearing and comprehension is fine, because she follows instructions really well. She does some signing (she uses "more" a lot) and a lot of gesturing, so usually we can understand each other without much of a problem. I'm thinking it's more likely that she doesn't want to talk than that there's some sort of problem. I hope...

[Edit] She's still stuck in finger food mode, but at least she is pretty adventurous in her eating (she really likes mushrooms, black olives, and roasted garlic triscut). She's drinking more milk now too, which is nice (still only about 1/2 a cup on a good day, but it's better than nothing).

[ June 25, 2009, 06:05 PM: Message edited by: ludosti ]

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Christine
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quote:
Originally posted by ludosti:
quote:
Originally posted by theresa51282:
Ellie finally took three steps today. She is up to around 50 words and says 2-3 word phrases.

Yay! You now have what my mom calls a "walkie talkie". [Smile] Her verbal skills sound fabulous! I'm a little jealous.

Beanie has great motor skills (she started walking at 12 months and pretty much runs now at 18), but doesn't seem to feel like talking. She says mama, dada, uhoh, and hi regularly. She'll occasionally say buba (bubbles), byebye, peas (please), and bo (one of our cats) and she babbles quite a bit. I know her hearing and comprehension is fine, because she follows instructions really well. She does some signing (she uses "more" a lot) and a lot of gesturing, so usually we can understand each other without much of a problem. I'm thinking it's more likely that she doesn't want to talk than that there's some sort of problem. I hope...

[Edit] She's still stuck in finger food mode, but at least she is pretty adventurous in her eating (she really likes mushrooms, black olives, and roasted garlic triscut). She's drinking more milk now too, which is nice (still only about 1/2 a cup on a good day, but it's better than nothing).

There is such a huge range of verbal skills at this age so they really only focus on receptive language at this point. If they're understanding, they're ok, and they'll get the rest on their own schedule. I understand 18 - 24 months is a typical time for a language explosion, which is another reason you won't often find people in a rush to diagnose a speech problem until closer to 2.

I'm pretty thrilled with my daughter's babbling and repetition attempts right now (13 months). It's better than my son was doing at this age. [Smile]

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rivka
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One of my brothers didn't start talking until he was three. Why should he -- he was understood perfectly well without doing so! [Wink]

He's still the least talkative of my sibs. And the most profound when he does speak. Mayne Beanie is a deep thinker!

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ludosti
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quote:
Originally posted by Christine:
There is such a huge range of verbal skills at this age so they really only focus on receptive language at this point. If they're understanding, they're ok, and they'll get the rest on their own schedule. I understand 18 - 24 months is a typical time for a language explosion, which is another reason you won't often find people in a rush to diagnose a speech problem until closer to 2. [/QB]

That's neat to know about the 18-24 month language explosion. It's so fascinating to observe first-hand how humans develop and it's not surprising that there is a large range of "normal". It really is fun how well she understands us and the world around her. It's so fun to have her do simple tasks for me - put the sock in the drawer (in the other room), get your shoes (and she'll get a matching pair), put your book away, etc. She knows that drawers and doors are supposed to be kept close and will close any she finds that are open (even if I'm trying to get things out). [Smile]

quote:
Originally posted by rivka:
One of my brothers didn't start talking until he was three. Why should he -- he was understood perfectly well without doing so! [Wink]

He's still the least talkative of my sibs. And the most profound when he does speak. Mayne Beanie is a deep thinker!

That's like what my mom says "She can be understood fine without talking, so maybe she doesn't feel the need to talk". She's a very happy and content person, so I can understand her being content with her communication as it is. I just love hearing her little voice - it's so cute! [Smile]
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scholarette
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ludosti- mine didn't talk much until like 27 months. And then she exploded and talks more then all the other kids her age. Huge vocab, good sentence structure and like 7-8 words in her sentences. We are constantly amazed because she went from nothing to everything almost over night. She babbled non stop up until then. Of course, the fact that her male cousin is 8 months younger and said more than her made it that much worse. He mimics people- you say "say X" and he'll say it. No clue what it means, but he'll say it. Bin on the other hand will never say a word just because you asked her to. When she says a word, she has processed it into her vocab and it has meaning.
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theresa51282
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You definetly shouldn't worry about verbal skills based on Ellie. She is ahead of the curve in that department. Her dr. only looks for a few words, babbling,a dn some comprehension at 18 months. I think some kids just focus more on different things. I am convinced that her gross motor skills are a bit behind mostly because it is just not what interests her. She would rather be reading a book with me or talking to me about all the things she sees. I can relate though to the comparisons and worries. I was stressed about the lack of walking and dreading telling her dr. that she still wasn't walking at her 15 month appointment. She still hasn't walked excatly but at least she is taking steps.
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rivka
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quote:
Originally posted by theresa51282:
I think some kids just focus more on different things.

I think this is very true and important for parents to keep in mind.
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ludosti
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That is so true! It is so interesting how different kids are even when very young. I was watching a friend's kids today (one is the same age as Beanie) and was really struck by how totally different they were (though they agreed that one of them crying required that the other one to cry too). It also made me very glad I didn't have twins. [Smile]
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Christine
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So just after her first birthday, Celeste dropped 2 nursing sessions in a week and this past week, she dropped 2 more. We're down to 2 (or at least have been for the last 2 days) -- first thing in the morning and after nap. She dropped before nap and before bed. If I try to nurse her then she'll twist her body and head away. I'm so sad. I am not ready for her to be done. I'd mentally prepared myself to nurse her for up to 2 years, which I often wish I'd done with my son (I weaned him at 17 months). But now she's acting as though she's done. I suppose if she is I should just respect that but it is making me unbelievably sad. Among other things, she will be my last baby so this is it.
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theresa51282
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It is so hard watching them grow up so fast! The great part is that every day we get to see all the new things they are learning and the people they are growing into.
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Bokonon
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So we are down to 1 bottle (evening) a day. Everything else is in sippies now (Nathaniel is 14.5 months).

He walks, runs, can walk backward, and can spin around, which was cute today when he did it while dancing, and fell down dizzy (he was walking at 10.5 months, it was clearly his main mission after birth). He's not great at climbing yet, despite his size (he's around 34", but can't manage to get up on the couch yet). This probably because we don't have stairs in our apartment.

He's also talking a little now! He still uses 'mama" and "ba" for multiple things, of course. He says "boof!" whenever a doglike animal is around, and he's been working on his F's so he can say fan. He sometimes says "bur" for bird. He started saying "ap-uh" for apple today, but it may be a transient thing, since he was good at telling us what a sheep says (elongated "baaa") until recently, and now he won't tell us [Smile]

His comprehension has jumped even in the last month though. He can point out to you (with varying rates of success) where is ears, nose, mouth, hands, tummy, and feet are.

This age makes the first 6 months or so totally worth it [Smile]

-Bok

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Bokonon
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I've also noticed in the last few weeks he is much more interested in looking at books/having us read them. He's been such a kinetic baby that he'd never sit still for a book longer than 10 seconds, but now he brings them over to us, an flips the pages while we read and point things out to him.

-Bok

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Katarain
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I'm having a problem, and I need some help!!

A couple of weeks ago, my daughter bit me while I was trying to nurse her. I don't remember the circumstances at the time, but typically she doesn't bite me anymore. When she did, I would stop her from nursing and tell her she must not want to nurse. She would usually cry for the nipple again either right away or after a few minutes and when I would relent, she would eat without biting. So, I thought we were past the biting stage, but for some reason she bit me and bit me good. I think it was just an accident. After that, it started to hurt to nurse from that breast. I noticed a bright red dot on the end of the nipple once and then two at another time, which I thought might be scabs, so I figured she drew blood.

There are no more spots anymore. Now when she starts to nurse it hurts initially and then she establishes her latch and it doesn't hurt while she's eating--much. Afterwards, though, it has been aching and hurting a lot on and off.

She's 16 months, but is still nursing a lot, because she was pretty much exclusively breast feeding for the first 12 months (I did introduce solid foods). I am increasing her solid food intake as much as I can, but she'll eat a small amount and then basically just pick at it, throwing some on the floor and then randomly eat some.

My husband says that I nursed her for longer than most moms, so the rest is just gravy, so if it is hurting me, maybe it's time to wean her. But I don't want to stop nursing her. It is one of my favorite things. I love nursing. There really is a special bond that I feel with my baby when I nurse her and I want to make it at *least* two years. Ideally, I'd like to continue to nurse her until 3 or 4, like at nighttimes.

But I feel like whatever injury I have from her bite is not getting a chance to heal because I can't stop nursing long enough for it to heal. I guess it is getting better. It didn't hurt nearly as long this last time, but then she didn't nurse quite as long either.

So my question is... is there something I can do to stop the pain and keep nursing? (As far as I'm concerned, I will put up with it forever, although it is quite painful.)

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dkw
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John bit me once hard enough that my nipple had internal bleeding -- it bled when he nursed for the next day or so. I think I nursed him less often on that side for about 24 hours -- maybe twice in a row on the other side for every once on the side he bit. It healed just fine.

It didn't hurt for as long as you describe, though, so my experience may not be helpful.

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scholarette
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I had a hard time when I started nursing with pain and bleeding. I would ice my nipples before I let her latch on and that helped a lot. I know that lactation consultants say that is a big no-no because it decreases flow and stuff, but that was not a problem for me.
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Christine
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You could try not nursing much from that side for a day. If the pump doesn't hurt, you could even try not nursing at all from that side and just pump it to keep from getting engorged.

You could also try applying heat. For most sore/damaged nipples, cold is a bad idea.

I don't blame you for not wanting to stop yet. I don't see nursing past a year as gravy just because most women don't do it. They have nothing to do with it...just me and the baby. (Who, btw, suddenly decided to nurse 5 times today....maybe she just can't make up her mind what she wants!)

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Katarain
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It wasn't as painful today. I discovered that if I let her nurse while I'm on my back (her favorite position) it allows her to turn her head back and forth and to pull off while stretching the nipple (ow!), so if it's starting to hurt, I'll lay on my side and let her eat that way. I think it's healing.

I wonder, do babies still get our immunities when we continue to nurse past 6 months? I heard somewhere that our immunities are passed on in the first 6 months, and I was wondering if that's because of the way our bodies work or because they don't expect women to continue nursing past 6 months.

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rivka
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I think it has more to do with the fact that by about 6 months, the baby's immune system has become more functional.
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Christine
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No, it is not at all true. As long as a baby nurses, he continues to get the benefits of mom's immune system. Now, a lot has been accomplished in the first few months of life, but anytime we get hit with something new our bodies will learn to fight it and then, in turn, help our nursing babies to fight it. It takes at least 2 and as many as 7 years for a child's immune system to mature and until that time nursing is a wonderful benefit to them in terms of health and wellness, not to mention nutrition and bonding. [Smile]
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imogen
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Toby has his first tooth. [Smile]

He hasn't bit me yet though.

He has developed a very irritating habit of pinching when he's nursing though - particularly for his first feed when I nurse him lying down in bed, and I'm topless. He goes for the nipple he's not latched onto. Ouch!

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ludosti
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Babies still get their mother's antibodies as long as they nurse. Usually after a year, breastmilk is no longer their main source of nourishment, but it is still, but like Christine said, one of the main reasons for extended nursing is the antibodies (along with the bonding experience).

Hopefully the change of nursing position will give your nipple a chance to heal!

Ugh, baby pinching is awful! Hopefully you can break him of that habit quickly. I still hate that Beanie will somehow always manage to find my nipples to use as her hand holds when she loses her balance or lunges at me.

Beanie has her first ear infection. [Frown] Not bad that she's 18 months old and it's only the second time she's been sick. I felt so bad that I had no idea, though. I hadn't seen any indications that her ears were hurting. I took her in because she'd been running a fever for a day and a half (only controllable by alternating between ibuprofen and acetaminophen) but with no other symptoms (last time that happened she had a throat infection). She had even been sleeping better at night than normal (which is really weird). Today was her first day of no fever since Wednesday, so the antibiotics must have kicked in. She has been so good and hasn't even fought taking her medicine, even though she doesn't like it (she waves "bye bye" at the dropper in between each squirt).

Bonus - in the pool pic

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Brinestone
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I've said this elsewhere, but Duplo just weaned himself in the last week. I have some guesses as to why: he got sick on Monday, and he's cutting his bicuspids all at once. Still, even after he got better the next day, he refused to nurse. I gave him tylenol to help with the teething pain, and he just would not do it. And frankly, I'd been trying to reduce his dependence on me (previously we'd been doing about six times a day) so Jon Boy and I could go on a mini vacation this week.

Anyway, after a few days of pumping and feeding him that plus whole milk and lots of solids, he started sleeping through the night. One night he did 8.5 hours. Most nights he's been doing at least 5.5 to 6 with one waking and then about 5 more. It's funny to think that a week or two ago I was desperately trying him to go a whole 4 hours in a row.

Every sleep book I've read assures parents that hunger has nothing to do with night waking past a certain age, but I always felt that when my babies wake at night, they're starving. And it's just too suspicious that Duplo would immediately start sleeping much better after weaning.

My guess is that I produce either relatively low-fat milk, or else not very much milk, so that my babies get hungry often and thus "snack" all day. But since they're eating so often, they're not very hungry for solids or whole milk and don't eat very well until they wean. But since they're not ultimately getting enough calories, they have to nurse all night to catch up.

I may be totally wrong. Still, I'm enjoying getting more shut-eye this week. Also, I stopped pumping Friday evening. Duplo's done nursing, period. The first few days were very bittersweet for me, since he's still only 13 months. But he's happy with it, so I guess so am I.

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imogen
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Yay for more sleep, Brinestone. [Smile]
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Katarain
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quote:
Originally posted by imogen:
He has developed a very irritating habit of pinching when he's nursing though - particularly for his first feed when I nurse him lying down in bed, and I'm topless. He goes for the nipple he's not latched onto. Ouch!

WHY do they do that? I am always covering that nipple so she won't use it as a security blanket.
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Christine
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Brinestone -- when I am wake in the middle of the night, I am often hungry. It's been hours since I ate. For babies, it is more pronounced because they have smaller tummies...and nothing, not breast milk, formula, whole milk, or pizza, will sit in their tummy all night. The thing is that most of the time I can put myself back to sleep before this really registers. It is my belief that babies wake out of habit and can't go back to sleep without their crutch and for nursing babies, that is often the breast. It sounds to me as if your baby has learned to fall asleep without it, which is nice. That's when my son learned to sleep well at night -- not when I weaned but when I refused to nurse him to sleep and made him learn to sleep on his own. He continued to nurse for almost a year after that. (I did the no nursing to sleep at 6 months.)

Anyway, congrats on the sleep and for nursing for so long! [Smile]

[ July 06, 2009, 10:07 AM: Message edited by: Christine ]

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Katarain
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So how long can I post in this thread do you think? She may be 20 months old, but she's still my baby!!

Anyway, I could really use some practical advice on how to teach and interact with her. Helping a toddler develop and grow is not as intuitive as I thought it would be.

This is where my daughter is now: As she has been growing, she has learned, mastered, and forgotten several things.

We would say "Arms up!" "Arms down!" and she would put her arms up or down. She doesn't do that anymore. She learned how to wave, never really mastered it, and she doesn't try to do it anymore.

She used to say Mama a lot, Dada occasionally and a few other words, but she doesn't anymore. She babbles a lot, and occasionally her babble sounds like she may be trying to make words. We try to notice whenever that happens so we can give meaning to her babble, hoping that it will help develop her language skills. But when I ask her "Can you say...", she doesn't try to imitate me.

She has a sort of grunt hum that she makes when she is eating, whether it is mealtime or even if she's munching on a cracker. When she's excited about something, she'll wave her arms vigorously.

She recognizes patterns, at least in speech. I'll say One! Two! Three! and then I'll tickle her or kiss her or pick her up and fly her around the room, whatever, and she really enjoys the anticipation--she knows that something fun is coming after the 1 2 3 count.

Even though she doesn't do a lot of the gestures that she used to, she still has an amazing memory. Usually, I give her food on her tray and she'll eat from that. Several months ago, I put her food in a bowl with a suction cup on the bottom. It didn't take her long to figure out how to release the suction and inspect the bowl, dumping the food out. So, I went back to the tray method. I wasn't sure how she released the suction, but it looks like she was just randomly pulling and pushing on it, which worked. Well, yesterday, I gave her the food in her bowl again. After she finished eating, she wanted to move the bowl. She inspected the rubber ring closely, and found the little tab that releases the suction (which was on the opposite side of the bowl, so it was hidden) and pushed it gently, like an expert, releasing the bowl. I was quite impressed.

She also learned to "blub blub" early on. I would put my finger to my lips to make the funny sound (you know where you move your finger up and down over your lips and it makes a blub blub sound?), and then I would do it to her and make the sound for her. She loved that, and it didn't take her long to figure out how to do it on her own. Well, for a while, she would do it a lot, and then it was like she forgot it, and she didn't do it for about a month. Then, out of the blue one day, she started doing it again. She doesn't do it much now, but she knows what it is.

She loves peekaboo. She'll hide her face, wait for us to wonder where she is, and then she'll put whatever is hiding her face down and giggle. She hasn't forgotten that.

She'll walk over to her daddy and put her arms up for him to pick her up. She responds in the same way when I put my arms down to pick her up and say "Up up up!"

Sometimes, it's very hard to get her to make eye contact or to respond when we're talking to her. But not always. She does make eye contact, just not always when we want her to. Sometimes, she's trying to look around us at a commercial on TV. We try to turn off the commercials whenever we're watching something. She'll ignore the TV most of the time when we're watching grown up shows, but she will immediately look at the TV when commercials come on.

She is just starting to learn to color. She has a toy with a screen she can scribble on with a magnetic pen. She is pretty good at scribbling--that took a while. She still very occasionally tries to draw with the wrong end of the pen. As for regular coloring, she will sometimes scribble with whatever I've given her. Since she is more interested in eating crayons, I usually give her colored pencils. She'll try to lightly color with them, half the time with the wrong side of the pencil--but mostly, she just loves to throw everything around her on the floor. I know that's typical toddler behavior, so I try to ignore it mostly. But I can't help feeling that she should be coloring more by now. Maybe it's too soon for that. Oh, and I do sit there with her and color so that she can see me doing it.

She doesn't really play with toys. She likes to hold the toys and walk around with them, and drop them all over the floor. Also, if it is an electronic toy, she loves to push the buttons and listen to it make sounds. She's got button pushing mastered! (So much so that I asked my relatives to get her toys that require her interaction but that aren't electronic.) I try to show her how to play with toys because the pediatrician told me at her last appointment that I can play next to her at this age, to show her how, but that she wouldn't really play *with* me, yet. This is where I can really use some help. I don't know how to demonstrate playing. I can go vroom vroom with a car and I can stack blocks, but I am at a loss as to what else I can do.

She loves to sit and look at books, whether we're reading to them, or whether she's looking at them by herself. When we're reading to her, she turns the pages for us. She doesn't really pay attention to the story yet, which I think is probably normal. She seems to recognize words that we write sometimes, from a few of her baby videos. Her daddy wrote some of the more common words from her videos on a piece of paper once, and she loved that piece of paper. She would sit and just look and look at those words.

Speaking of videos, we know that she has watched entirely too much television. Our situation has been less than ideal, as much as it pains us. My husband is chronically ill, so is very limited in how much childcare he can provide. He will sit with her and look through books, and read with her, and show her how to play the xylophone and play with cars, stack blocks, etc. He's unable to do that as much as he'd like, but it does happen. I'm trying to hold down a full-time job--most of the time that I'm working away from home, she's asleep. Which means she goes to bed late, sleeps late, and I get anywhere from 2-6 hours a sleep and then go to work. When daddy is up to it, he will watch her for an hour or two if she wakes up before I come home. If he's not, I go home immediately. (My job is very understanding and flexible.)

When I'm home, I'm usually splitting time between household chores, cooking, and putting in a few hours doing work at home things for my job. So, I would often put on a video for her or turn on PBS. I hated doing it, but really didn't see an alternative. That's over now. I feel like the TV is affecting her adversely, and I am hoping that any problems it has caused with her attention are fixable. It's tough, but I have decided to do whatever it takes to help her.

I have an appointment with her doctor in two weeks to get her evaluated for developmental delays. I know that there are a few things with her behavior and with forgetting things that she has mastered which are red flags--or if not red, at least pink. I would like to start working with her now to help her develop so that she doesn't end up being behind her peers.

So, to get to my question... what sorts of things can I do with her to help her learn and develop new skills? How do you play with a 20 month old like my daughter? What can I do? What exercises can I do? What activities can I try? I made some homemade play dough (flour, oatmeal, and water). I tried to show her how to play with it, rolling it into balls, stacking them, pressing her hand into it to make a print. She ate a few pieces, dropped a few pieces on the floor, and when I would tell her not to put them on the floor and put my hand out, she started pulling off little pieces and placing them in my hand. I would then press them together into a little ball. She liked that for a little while. (And then she got fussy, cause she wanted a nap.)

I need ideas. I need thoughts from you other mothers and child experts (and novices) out there. Lately, in between trying different activities (like the playdough and coloring) with her, I basically let her run around the room exploring, holding her toys, shaking things that rattle, and getting into the box of papers I'm slowly trying to shred and sort. (She loves to pull the papers out and place them all over the floor. Which reminds me, after watching me sort papers, she started looking at each piece of paper before putting it on the floor, imitating me, I think.) I also will play music and dance around with her some. She loves music.

I just don't know what sorts of things I can do with her that will help her developmentally.

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Katarain
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To summarize what has been bothering me:

She not talking. (My mom said I didn't talk until 2, which makes me feel a little better, but not much.)

She doesn't use gestures to communicate--much. She doesn't wave or point at things she wants.

She doesn't always make eye contact or respond to us.

She waves her arms when she's excited (it's kind of like she waves her whole body, like if she's sitting, her legs are involved in the wave). This wouldn't concern me if it hadn't been listed on a list of early warning signs for developmental delays and autism.

She grunts/hums when she eats.

She doesn't really "play" on her own, or even with us.

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rivka
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Have you spoken with your pediatrician about your concerns?
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Katarain
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I did at her last appointment, and the doctor said that we could wait until her 2 year appointment to evaluate her if she's not talking by then. It has been bothering me a lot lately, especially when I read a list of early signs of autism in Toddlers. She doesn't do all of the things mentioned, but enough that it concerns me. So I called her pediatrician and made an appointment in two weeks for her to be evaluated. It's just that I want to do whatever I can with her now to help her develop. I figure it can't hurt. I just don't know what sorts of things to do.
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scholarette
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Katarain, I wish I could give you some good advice, but it is so hard to say anything with kids. My daughter did some of the behaviors you mention, we talked to our doctor and as she has gotten older, things are getting better. We did get a hearing test because the doctor was concerned, and the specialist said that you wouldn't believe how many kids come in because they completely ignore their parents. Mine essentially went from babbling to full sentences, so while I was very worried when her vocab was so limited, now, not so concerned. But it is pretty variable, so talk to doctor about this stuff.

Interacting with not yet 2 year olds is hard and beyond what you are doing, I can't think of much. Right now, with my 3 year old, I am not allowed to touch her toys, but she wants me to play with her. So, I bring my computer over and sit next to her and she is happy.

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Katarain
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Well, hearing that you had some similar concerns and things are okay now does help! I have hope. See, to me, she is such a bright and amazing child, so I try to look at her behavior objectively--I don't want to miss something because I'm too wrapped up in thinking that everything she does is perfect. When I read the list of early warning signs for autism, I was dismayed that she exhibits some of those behaviors. I want her to have the earliest intervention possible.
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theresa51282
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I have a 19 month old so I can relate to how challenging it can be to "play" with them at this age. She also is not into toys right now. She does exactly what you say your daughter does. She loves to carry them around and take them out of the toybox but doesn't really want to play with them. I think it is developmentally appropriate at this age. My pediatrician wasn't at all concerned. One thing that helped me was setting goals for myself. I tell myself that I will play toys with her or color with her for say 20 minutes without any adult distractions. This kept me sane knowing that it wasn't forever and really helped me fully engage Eliza.

Reading your list of things you do, the thing that struck me was that it didn't talk a lot about experiences outside the house. Eliza loves to do things out and about. She actually loves to run errands and things like that. We live in a big city so we do lots of museums, zoos, parks, and children's groups. They are great learning opportunities and really help her develop skills. She can talk about almost all of those experiences. When she went to the zoo last time, she learned to say several new animals and also what sounds they made. At the museums, we do the science centers and things like that. She is much more interested in stacking the giant blocks there than her normal blocks at home. All of the activities allow her to see what the other kids are doing as well.

I taught preschool before I had my daughter. One of the biggest contributors I saw to delays in kids was parents who underestimated their kids abilities. Its important to make sure your expectations are reasonable but not too low. So if you know she can use a word to ask for say milk, make her use her word. Any attempt is ok. If it isn't perfect no need to worry. Its just important that she learns that she needs to communicate.

It sounds like you are really trying and that seeing the dr. will at least ease some of your concerns. 18 months to 2 years is when language is really suppose to explode so you never know when she might just start talking up a storm.

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Katarain
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She doesn't get out much, that's true. [Frown] When I do take her out, it's walking around outside or going to a park. There isn't much to DO. Where I used to live, there were a lot of great places like you mention. I wonder if there's anything like that here.

I must admit, though, that I'm pretty scared to take her out because of flu season. She touches everything, and then touches her face before I get a chance to clean her hands off. I'm afraid of her getting sick.

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Katarain
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I'll work on getting her out more, even if it's just to run errands.
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ludosti
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It's really tough at this age because there is so much variety between kids.

Beanie is about the same age as your daughter (her birthday is the end of next month). I have been a little paranoid lately about her 2 year check-up, since the PA we saw for her 18 month check-up was a little concerned about her not talking much. I wasn't too worried, since she's always communicated well, even without speaking much, but I was worried that she was worried, if that makes sense. One thing you can try doing that I've been doing is to make an actual list of the words she uses or has used, even if she doesn't use them much now (the PA said sometimes they'll use a word once or a few times and then not use it for a long time, but that's ok). In only a few days I'm up over 40 words already (not including the words she signs and the animal noises she does), so I'm feeling better about that now (and can have some concrete information for when they ask about her vocabulary). How much do you guys talk to her? I feel a little strange sometimes, but I basically narrate my entire day to her (talk to her in the car, at the store, everywhere). When we're watching tv shows I talk about what's happening and ask her questions ("where's the flower?", "what does kipper say?", etc). Now that she's talking more, I try to encourage it by asking her questions and sometimes playing dumb (within reason) until she says what she wants.

We do mostly unstructured play like you guys do (there's toys available for her to play with and she plays with stuff as she wants). She wasn't too interested in coloring until very recently (the last few days she has been LOVING coloring). She goes through phases of liking to play with certain things, but has always liked books (like your daughter). She has always hummed (mmmmm) while eating too.

I try to take her somewhere (often it's just errands, but she gets excited to go to the post office or to the grocery store too) several times a week. Even walking to the mailbox in the afternoon is fun for her. When the weather is cooler here, I try to take her for a walk every day or two (but I haven't been able to do that for the last couple weeks because I've been sick). We try to go to the park once or twice a week (on our own or with the church play group).

I don't know if any of that helps you at all, but I hope the doctor will be able to help you more and you will be able to find some new things to try with her. [Smile]

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dkw
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Stacking blocks for her to knock over is good. Even after my kidlets started building things with blocks they still loved to knock other people's towers over. Dumping things out of a box/basket and putting them back in. Stirring water in a bowl with a big spoon or whisk while you cook.

I wouldn't worry about the coloring. I remember that my first didn't have any interest in it until he was 2. He liked other people to draw things for him, but he either couldn't or wouldn't press hard enough to draw anything himself.

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theresa51282
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Anyone have any good ideas for indoor play activities for a 20 month old. I am looking for projects/activities that I could set up that might entertain and especially some that might get out some energy. With our weather stuck in the in between stage between snow and rain everything is wet so outside play is mostly out. I am starting to feel a little stir crazy and I know she is too. I don't want to keep turning on a movie everyday but I she isn't that interested in most of her toys. Coloring so far is also not a hint. Anyone have anthing fun their kids liked?
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dkw
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Splashing in the sink. Also stiring and "measuring" rice or dried beans. They're easier to clean up than letting the kid scoop flour or sugar and not too expensive if they end up on the floor.
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ludosti
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Beanie always has fun when we would dance together to music and when I "chase" her or play peekaboo around the furniture. She also has fun playing with our plastic storage containers. They're all in a cabinet at floor level (the only one we didn't put a latch on) and has had lots of fun taking them out and playing with them (stacking them up, stirring in them, taking off lids on the easy ones). I love the measuring beans idea - I'm going to have to break out some of my old beans for her to play with.
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Christine
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I admit that Celeste and I have been watching a little TV every day too. It's just so easy. [Smile]

I also try to turn on some music and dance every day.

Cooking projects -- toddlers love stirring and some are adventurous enough to try cracking eggs (make sure to have them crack them into an empty bowl).

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TomDavidson
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quote:
Also stiring and "measuring" rice or dried beans.
Double-yes to this. We got a huge bin of dried beans of various sizes (from tiny lentils and split peas to huge kidney and garbanzos), and found that both our kids loved "digging" in the bin for "treasures" we'd hidden there, running their hands through them, or even wading through it in their bare feet.
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