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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » My kids say awesome things. (Page 1)

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Author Topic: My kids say awesome things.
Puppy
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A few quotes from my oldest daughter (who is two years old):

"I can't like birds."
"Why not?"
"They get in my eyes."

"I'm scared of Christmas."
"Why?"
"I might have to fight him."
"Who? Your cousin [whom she will be visiting]?"
"No. Santa Claus."

What awesome things do your kids say? [Smile]

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scifibum
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My three year old got a Superman costume for Halloween, and he said the following (as a monologue):

"Superman? Can I FLY? Hmm. No, I cannot fly."

The other thing he said recently that I really liked is "Dad, you're my friend."

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rivka
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Your daughter is old enough to be talking in sentences?!? [Eek!]

Man, time sure flies when it's someone else's life. Also, I feel old. [Razz]

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ketchupqueen
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Yeah, rivka, when we first met my oldest was like 4 months old. Now she's 4 1/2 years old. It kind of shocks me to think of that.

I have too many recent kid funnies to even remember them all... One of the funniest was my 2 1/2 year old running away from her father (who was trying to diaper and dress her after her bath) and saying (in a deep voice) "What you doing?" and answering (in a high, thin voice) "I fweeking out!!!" Over and over again...

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advice for robots
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Two-year-olds are CUTE.
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kmbboots
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At age five, my nephew turned to my sister as she was pouring a cup of coffee, "Mom, caffeine is a diuretic. You'll be up peeing all night."
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dkw
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My two year old yesterday:

I push the elevator button!

Okay.

This one?

That's the one.

No, that's the two. This is the one.


Also, after spending time with his grandfather at the hardware store: "I need a compound mitre saw. I won't cut my fingers."

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Eaquae Legit
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quote:
Originally posted by kmbboots:
At age five, my nephew turned to my sister as she was pouring a cup of coffee, "Mom, caffeine is a diuretic. You'll be up peeing all night."

[ROFL]

(Literally. That's the funniest thing I've heard all day.)

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dkw
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Oh, that reminds me:

"I want a drink of mommy's soda."

"No, that has caffiene in it, it's not for kids."

"But I have a paper due!"

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rivka
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quote:
Originally posted by ketchupqueen:
Yeah, rivka, when we first met my oldest was like 4 months old. Now she's 4 1/2 years old. It kind of shocks me to think of that.

Yeah, but when I first "met" Geoff (on Prodigy), HE was 10. (I think. Maybe 12?)

So him having a child old enough to talk is just frightening. [Wink]

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Puppy
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I think I was 11 or 12, and you were 14 [Smile]
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rivka
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Ok, 14 is what I remember too. And I'm pretty sure you're 4 years younger than I am. I'll be 35 in April.

I just realized . . . my oldest is now the age I was then.

Now I REALLY feel old!

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ketchupqueen
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Oh, yes, I was just saying time goes by too quickly. [Smile]

Remembered another one, from my 4 1/2 year old:

"Look! There's the moon. The moon is the mommy, and those are all the baby stars. The moon has lots of na-na milk because she has a lot of babies."

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Tatiana
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My son said to me the other day "Let's have a Smiths cover band." He loves the Smiths. It was cute. [Smile]
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Lyrhawn
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My little cousin does this thing that I wish I had a video of to show you. She's the most adorable little kid in the world (and knows it), and she likes to repeat phrases she hears on commercials when prompted. So if someone says Subway, she says "eat fresh!"

Last Thanksgiving she was doing this thing she'd heard on a Disney channel show, and whenever her mom (also a cousin) said something, she'd go "Mama said wha?" with this hilarious face. If I can get her to do it at Thanksgiving in two weeks, I'll post it, cause it's hilarious.

quote:
Also, after spending time with his grandfather at the hardware store: "I need a compound mitre saw. I won't cut my fingers."
[Laugh]

That's the funniest thing I've seen all day.

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Blayne Bradley
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While I wasn't a prepubiscient child at the time I also have this habit or dare I say tradition of saying funny things at family events or doing funny things when I was a younger teenager at ages 12-16 eevery chrismas at my cousins I would always do something well stupid?

First year: Fearing Y2K (would make me 12 at the time 21-9) I gathered roughly..... 50 cans of soda from our cousins "serve yourself" table. And had em all in my bag.

Second Year: My brother was given some Harry Potter toys which in my jealousy said "But he doesn't even like Harry Potter!"

Third Year: (You see where this is going) I was given Jerrassic Park 3 as a gift and I said in my usually casual bluntness "I would be more appreciative if I hadn't already seen it"

Eventually they stopped giving us gifts. bastards.

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Lyrhawn
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Hatrack needs an eyebrow raise emoticon.
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Blayne Bradley
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The again, this was probly me unconsiously rebelling at being forced to go somewhere I do not want to go. I was embarrass the family, why can't they just let me stay home for once!? Do they ever learn?

Bringing Relunctant Blayne to a Family gathering, equals someone urinating on someone. After eating all the food. And getting drunk. And maybe hitting on my cousin. Not necessarily in that order.

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scholarette
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I accidently unplugged the laptop the baby was playing on (which doesn't have a battery). I said uh oh and plugged it back in. Meanwhile she ran over to it and hit the power button and proudly proclaimed "I saved it."
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Sean Monahan
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Not my child, the daughter of a friend (4yo). They have a cat named Ophie, and they had to take Ophie to the vet:

"Is Ophie's doctor a cat, too?"

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Tsinya
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One of my brother's friends 4 year old sister did something really cute. Her mom had been drinking a martini, and when she turned around for a second, the 4 year old started drinking it. Then she goes "Mommy, I like your juicy!" and made meowing sounds the rest of the night.
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Sterling
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"Ice cream is for girls."
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TomDavidson
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"Babies are not for kicking. We can only kiss them on their fuzzy little heads."

"I am being a fairy princess. That is like a fairy and a princess at the same time. And maybe a pony."

"You sworded me! I shall sword you until you are dead!"

"Daddy, you have to come home right away because I am about to do something very soon and it is going to be amazing."

"It had better be my birthday soon. Everyone has had a birthday except me this year."

"Can we sit here until the radio is done? This is really a most excellent song and I am not all the way done rocking out."

"Haley eats all her vegetables, but that is because she is a baby and doesn't know any better yet."

(at the end of WALL*E) "If that little robot is dead, I will be quite upset with you."

"I think I ate too much pizza. My tummy was saying 'no' but my mouth was saying 'yes.'"

(upon being asked what her brain was saying) "My brain had nothing to do with it."

"Why are they always playing Blue's Clues? Doesn't Joe get tired of it? It's, like, their whole day."

"She thinks she is cute but maybe she is not quite so cute as me."

(whispered, in Chicago) "Can I tell you a secret? They call those buildings high-scrapers because they are considerably higher than the just regular scrapers."

"You're being almost nearly as silly as a Wiggle."

"Mama, no! Do not gobble up Haley! She is quite absolutely small and helpless and not for gobbling."

(out of the blue, at dinner) "I don't think I would like to not have feet."

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Raia
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Wow, Tom, your kids are really cute. [Smile]

I teach a little Hebrew "class" on Monday afternoons, and my youngest, Jacob (six years old), came in a few weeks ago and said "I voted for Barack Obama today!"

Hehe... I was so proud.

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Puppy
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Tom, do your kids watch Charlie and Lola? They talk absolutely and extremely like Lola does.
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SenojRetep
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Upon being told several days in a row (following Halloween) that he could only have one piece of candy a day or his teeth would decay, our two-year-old announced, "If my teeth get decayed, I will just push this button (his nose) and they will be all fixed." Then he asked for more candy.

The other day our five-year-old daughter said, "The internet is like the smartest person in the world. It knows EVERYTHING."

Our son had a dream the other night, which he related thusly: "Last night I had a dream that I was jumping on my friend's trampoline and I jumped so high that I landed on a cloud and ate holes in it (he later told me it tasted like cotton candy) and there was also an apple tree there and I ate a red apple and it was so delicious, but I didn't throw it in the sun."

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Phanto
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dkw:

Lol, even kids feel paper pressure!

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TomDavidson
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quote:
Tom, do your kids watch Charlie and Lola?
Yes. [Smile] Sophie began affecting Lola's speech patterns within two hours of watching her first episode of the show -- but, then, Sophie has always liked adverbs, so I think she was just wanting to hear someone else use adverbs the way she wanted to (even if that someone else was a fictional character. *grin*)
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Teshi
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quote:
(out of the blue, at dinner) "I don't think I would like to not have feet."
You know your kid's something special when he or she comes out with this. Awesome [Big Grin] .
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Kwea
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quote:
Originally posted by Blayne Bradley:
The again, this was probly me unconsiously rebelling at being forced to go somewhere I do not want to go. I was embarrass the family, why can't they just let me stay home for once!? Do they ever learn?

Yeah, it's THEIR fault you are an rude, selfish little git even at Christmas time. [Roll Eyes]
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PSI Teleport
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"Everybody needs a face."

"Baby chickens do not have to cockle doo-doo." (In my opinion, that is something no one should ever have to do. Ever.)

*irritated voice* "Why does the moon keep following us!"

"Do you remember when you told me," laughing hysterically, "that sometimes moms don't have bottles, so their babies have to drink out of their mom's boobs ?" Bear in mind that both of my children were breastfed at some point. This is the same child who used to call breasts "nerds" (for nurse) and would bring me gallons of milk from the refrigerator "for my nerds".

I used to write their funny phrases down, but I can't find the notebook anymore. [Frown]

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All4Nothing
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Oh my goodness, I can't wait till my niece gets old enough to say things like this. I don't have any children of my own, I do hope that changes someday. This topic brings me great pleasure.
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Raia
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From my little sister's childhood:

"This is for you... go put it in my room."

"Just a mininute!"

(At a concert/show of mine) "But I don't WANT to be one of the clapping children!"

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DDDaysh
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It has now become a classic with my son, but it was really funny when he first said it...

He's a boy, and he's a pistol. He went through a stage where he managed to destroy things on such a frequent basis I thought he must be part tornado. Anyway, I would often say in exasperation, "What on earth am I going to do with you?" Well, one time he just looked right back at me and said, "Love me!". Of course, I laughed and so now that's his response EVERY time I say that.

I'm not sure if today's is really appropriate - but I'm gunna post it anyway because it was such a TV parenting moment.

Today in the bath, cleaning certain boy areas, Son: "Mom, why do I have to do this <pushing up foreskin> every day?"
Me: To keep it clean.
Son: "Billy's doesn't do this"
Me: (Thinking, Oh MY! What on earth is going on at preschool) "Well, this isn't something we should talk about at preschool, but sometimes when boys are babies their mommies ask the doctors to cut that part off so it's easier to keep clean" (a summary)
My son: (after looking at me very thoughtfully for a couple of seconds) "I think I can just wash it every day."

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JennaDean
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[ROFL]
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Shanna
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Tom, what did you do to make your kids so darn adorable?! Seriously, what books do you read them, what shows do they watch? I'm taking notes here for future reference.
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CaySedai
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quote:
*irritated voice* "Why does the moon keep following us!"
Only in our case it was more of a slightly panicked voice, poor kid.
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Corwin
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After reading this thread I think children should speak more and adults less. [Smile]
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Artemisia Tridentata
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Daddy, You just don't understand. I'm all out of wait!
This after having been told several times to "Just wait, we'll be home in a minute." after she declared the need for a potty stop.

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Amanecer
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My 3 year old niece observing a storm brewing this weekend:

Niece: "THE CLOUDS ARE MOVING!!!"
Her mom: "Where are they going?"
Niece: *stops and ponders* "To Walmart."

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TomDavidson
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Tonight:

"Could you please pause the book? I have to go blow my nose."

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Scott R
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"I know sausage comes from pigs, but where do the pigs get them?"
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Kama
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Now I want a child [Razz]
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Noemon
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quote:
Originally posted by Scott R:
"I know sausage comes from pigs, but where do the pigs get them?"

:: laugh ::
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Raia
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This is seriously one of my favorite Hatrack threads ever. It just makes me happy.
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paigereader
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my nephew told me the story of mary and joseph at age 3
"mary and joseph were on a journey. mary was going to have a baby. They stopped and had the baby up in a tree."
"wow! up in a tree? weren't they afraid they would fall out or the tree would fall over?"
"Aunt Paigey!!! a tree is sturdy which also means stable."
also, when you say "this morning"... well he said to me once, "'memeber the other smorning when you said I could have pancakes?"

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Seatarsprayan
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My daughter doesn't do sentences yet, but here's one from me as a child, according to my mother:

"Mama, my music box works because it has crabs in it."

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PSI Teleport
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Today, after I asked how they liked the cheese tortellini:

"It takes like the cheese in buffalo."

*blink* I'm not sure if he means the animal or Buffalo, NY. He has no experience with either.

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TomDavidson
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Shanna, I was going to say "I don't know" -- or maybe rattle off a list of influences that I know have had an effect (including the Charlie and Lola show (and books), but then Sophie just came into the room, staring balefully at a chocolate chip cookie in her hand and intoning, "You have failed me for the last time, cookie. I eat you! But first I will dip you in milk!"

And it occurred to me that maybe we have had something to do with it. *grin* Mainly we play with them -- especially word-heavy roleplay -- a lot, and made a point of never using baby talk or dumbing down our vocabulary. I suspect the same is true of a lot of Hatracker parents, though; the kids on this thread are wonderful. But to be honest, I suspect that most kids are wonderful, and that parents just don't always listen.

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David G
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Our 7-year old daughter (2nd grade) had an assignment to write about when she has had to face her fears. Here is what she wrote:

"I was afrid (sic) to go on the monkey bars when I was in first grade. The teachers where not allowed to hold me. I was afriaed (sic). Then I decided I whould (sic) do it. So I did. And in the end I fell and bumped my head on the pole."

Edited to add: Our daughter has since fully conquered her fear of the monkey bars and traverses them like a champ. We are so proud.

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