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My sister-in-law has been diagnosed with breast cancer. She just barely got he diagnosis and hasn't had her first real appointment with an oncologist yet, but from what we know so far it seems very likely that she'll be getting chemo and/or radiation therapy to attempt to shrink the tumor prior to surgery.
If/when this happens she'll likely be losing her long, beautiful, red/blonde hair. We're trying to get ahead of things like this so we can present options to her and wondered if anyone had any wig input. I figured some of the orthodox Jewish ladies here might have tips for good places to look for good quality wigs.
We're also considering using a service that will custom make a wig from hair that we provide - she could cut it off prior to treatment for that purpose. If anyone has experience with this sort of service I'd also be interested.
Money is an issue. Her family has really no disposable income at all without even taking medical costs into consideration (they are trying to get Medicaid worked out). We're willing to help them out, but we already expect to incur a lot of other expenses related to her illness in the near future.
Posts: 3275 | Registered: May 2007
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There are options besides/in addition to wigs. I really like the hats and scarves from the TLC Catalog (affiliated with ACS). I do not suggest their wigs, though -- I have been very unimpressed with them, other than their "bits and pieces" (halos/falls, etc.)
Human hair wigs are expensive. High-quality ones range from several hundred to a few thousand dollars. Custom -- even if you provide the hair -- is even more expensive. Good synthetics can be a really good alternative, especially for short-term (they don't stand up well to years of use). I like many of Paula Young's wigs.
My first cousin just finished a year of treatment (including two different chemo regimens). It's wonderful the treatment options that exist now, but it can be incredibly draining of time, energy, and money.
Best wishes to your sister-in-law. She is lucky to have your support.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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When my aunt had cancer, she did the scarf option. The wig she didn't like for comfort issues and she thought it still looked like a wig. Also, the scarf kinda announces that you are in treatment and I think she liked people being extra nice to her. She was tough and a survivor but the chemo hit her a lot harder than she expected and so the little extra kindnesses mattered a lot.
Posts: 2223 | Registered: Mar 2008
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Radiation- Epilation (Hair Loss) Epilation may occur on any hair bearing skin with doses above 1 Gy. It only occurs within the radiation field/s. Hair loss may be permanent with a single dose of 10 Gy, but if the dose is fractionated permanent hair loss may not occur until dose exceeds 45 Gy.
If she goes in for radiation, I think a lead cap, if allowed would prevent her hair from falling out in the first place.
But if she goes through Chemo I can't think of anything to prevent her hair from possibly falling out, but it should grow back..
Me thinks, you should just concern yourself with her health, that's more important. ^-^
Posts: 461 | Registered: Nov 2010
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There is no way that her brain would be irradiated (desiring to preserve scalp hair or not) unless necessary. Brain tumors are a much more grave concern than hair loss.
MattP, you and she have my good wishes. I'm sorry money is a challenge as well. That is a shame to deal with on top of the rest.
If she goes the route of salvaging her own hair, it's worth being perfectly clear on what she will get. My understanding is that it takes a few heads-worth*** of hair to make a wig, and if that is the case, better not to set her sights on being able to wear only her own.
Good luck.
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Edited to add: ***even with very long hair, it tends to get thinner as you go down the length, because fewer hairs last to the fullest extent before being naturally shed and replaced.
Posts: 831 | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Me thinks, you should just concern yourself with her health, that's more important. ^-^
Her health is of course our first priority, but we have doctors to answer those questions. Our role will be primarily about making her life as comfortable as possible while she's going through this, including finding ways to mitigate some of the side effects of her treatments such as hair loss.
Posts: 3275 | Registered: May 2007
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Breast Cancer treatments have come a long way in recent years. Both my grandmother and a co-worker both had the same treatments but did not lose any hair, hopefully this will be the case for your sister-in-law.
I would suggest a gangster bandana if she was going to wear something instead of a wig.
Posts: 1937 | Registered: Nov 2006
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I have one suggestion that comes from various friends who went through chemo and lost their hair. If the doctor's say she is likely to loose her hair, she should get it cut very short before it starts to fall out. Getting your hair cut very short first not only reduces the mess when it starts falling out, it can make it feel less traumatic. She won't be waking up every morning to look at a little more of her beloved beautiful tresses on the pillow. Plus, choosing to get it cut can give you a sense of control.
Posts: 12591 | Registered: Jan 2000
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MattP is taking the correct attitude here, I think. Obsessing over her health is not beneficial to her or to them - as Matt says, there are doctors whose job it is to concentrate solely on her health. As a supportive family member, his job is to try and make things easier for her, and to shower her with love and support. If losing her hair is very important to her, then his worrying about how to make that transition easier for her is perfectly approproate, in my opinion.
I second Rabbit's advice and Rivka's on the scarves. I did not lose my hair in chemo - I had a different type of chemo than what breast cancer victims receive. My hair just got thin and brittle. I had other weird side effects, like not being able to touch or eat anyhing colder than room temperature. Seriously - it was strange!
At any rate, most of the women I had chemo with that were in breast cancer treatment used scarves and hats and eschewed wigs. That does not mean that is the answer for your sister-in-law, but if she is not aware of the many types of scarves available she should definitely look into it.
Another thing to do is check with the chemo nurses - they often know of programs in the area that can help if money is an issue. For example, I know there was a program for women who had lost their hair where local salon workers would donate their time to do makeup for women and work with them on how to use makeup appropriately with head scarves, and/or for those that wanted to rock their bald head.
Look for support groups in the area, they may also have lists of programs or charities that can help.
My advice - try to help her realize that it is OKAY to ask for help and assistance! She needs to let go and rely on others, like you and your wife. Some people (like me) have a lot of difficulty admitting they need help because they don't want to show any form of weaknes - they want to prove they have it "all together." When you have cancer and are in treatment, you do not have it "all together." It was tough for me to admit that and let go a bit and let people help me.
Best of luck to all of you!
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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I also recommed cutting her hair. A lot of women going though this actually donate their hair to Locks of Love, who use it to provide wigs for children under the age of 18 who have lost their hair for any reason.
I have been told by some women who have gone though this that doing that helped her get control of the situation, and that they felt better knowing at least someone would be helped by their donation rather than letting their beautiful hair "go to waste" when it fell out.
Posts: 15082 | Registered: Jul 2001
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That's a great idea. I'll pass it on. Thanks for all the advice, guys. She's got her first appointment with the oncologist tomorrow morning, so we'll have a better idea about what she's facing then.
Posts: 3275 | Registered: May 2007
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There is considerable controversy in the online long-haired community about the Locks of Love organization. According to a NYT article, as much as 80% of the hair donated to Locks of Love is not used for wigs (and, also, they often charge the recipients for those wigs -- they are often not free to those who need them). There is discussion with a LoL representative in that article about how much is thrown way.
Someone from a long-haired forum who went through the numbers that were available on the LoL site itself (see post 6 on this page) estimated it was more like 90% was not used. And at one point there was a Better Business Bureau*** issue with (IIRC) not turning over financial records in a timely manner, but I believe that was addressed afterward.
Regardless, just be aware that if the actual fate of the hair is important to you or her, LoL might not be the ideal choice. Two other alternatives that some people find fit their goals better are mentioned in the NYT article (Pantene's Beautiful Lengths and the oldest established hair donation charity, Wigs for Kids, which does not charge children for the hairpieces they receive).
quote:The BBB 2010 report now lists Locks of Love as a reputable charity. The Better Business Bureau report issued July 2008 states that Locks of Love does not meet its standards for charity accountability because the organization did not accurately report the charity's expenses in its financial statements despite requests for that information.[6] The Better Business Bureau reports that Locks of Love made $352,401 from "unusable material sales".[7] ---
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