posted
Here is a list my wife and I came up with (in no particular order) to ask our OB-GYN dr.
Can anyone think of anything else we might be missing? Thank you for any help!
Any vaccines or blood work done beforehand? Any certain prenatal vitamins? Anything regarding weight or exercise? Deep Vein Thrombosis? Genetic pre-disposition? How do appointments work? What is the day/night availability of these appts? Any concern for UTI’s? Diet/Weight/Exercise concerns? Any drinking or environmental concerns? Who is delivery doctor and their availability? Any way to increase chances for boy/girl? What is the effect of previous birth control? Loestrin Cervical fluid consistency? Any meetings or groups?
Posts: 468 | Registered: Mar 2008
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posted
How often should you have sex to maximize your chances of conception, and at what point in your wife's cycle is her fertility at it's peak are two I'd probably want to know.
Posts: 5462 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Do you have reason to think you will have trouble conceiving or have specific medical problems? Because if not, I think you are way overthinking this.
I would ask about starting pre-natal vitamins and how long to wait after going off hormonal BC before trying to conceive. Everything else on your list can wait until either your wife is pregnant or you've tried for 6-12 months with no results.
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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There is a way to do this...my wife and I used it and got both genders we wanted when we wanted them.
First you need to figure out when your wife is ovulating, there are many sites which help with the use of an ovulation calendar and pee stick ovulation tests.
Male sperm swim much faster, but die much faster as well, so if seeking male offspring, have sex as close to ovulation as possible.
Female sperm swim slower and live longer, so have sex a 72-24 hours before ovulation.
A major contributor to getting and staying pregnant is lack of stress. Too much stress changes the body chemistry of the mother to "turn off" the ability to get/stay pregnant. Massages and soothing activities are a great help.
Once you do catch, be prepared for some fun! Pregnancy is really difficult, and with hormones fluctuating often and rapidly, patience is necessary. Pick your battles, and don't take anything personally. No offense to you ladies out there, just speaking from personal experience here. Make sure to tell her she is pretty often, and always be willing to make a gesture to show her you care.
Pregnacy pillows are a God send for when she is big and can't get comfortable.
When it comes to imbibing stuff, as soon as you start trying to conceive, cut out alcohol (super bad), tobacco (little bad) and caffeine (little bad) and start checking out which over the counter meds and prescriptions are BAD for baby. Meds are grouped into Pregnacy Medication Categories and this site (and many others) have a searchable database.
quote:The FDA has a categorization of drug risks to the fetus that runs from: "Category A" (safest) to "Category X" (known danger--do not use!)
Category A
Controlled studies in women fail to demonstrate a risk to the fetus in the first trimester (and there is no evidence of a risk in later trimesters), and the possibility of fetal harm appears remote.
Category B
Either animal-reproduction studies have not demonstrated a fetal risk but there are no controlled studies in pregnant women, or animal-reproduction studies have shown an adverse effect (other than a decrease in fertility) that was not confirmed in controlled studies in women in the first trimester (and there is no evidence of a risk in later trimesters).
Category C
Either studies in animals have revealed adverse effects on the fetus (teratogenic or embryocidal or other) and there are no controlled studies in women, or studies in women and animals are not available. Drugs should be given only if the potential benefit justifies the potential risk to the fetus.
Category D
There is positive evidence of human fetal risk, but the benefits from use in pregnant women may be acceptable despite the risk (e.g., if the drug is needed in a life-threatening situation or for a serious disease for which safer drugs cannot be used or are ineffective).
Category X
Studies in animals or human beings have demonstrated fetal abnormalities, or there is evidence of fetal risk based on human experience or both, and the risk of the use of the drug in pregnant women clearly outweighs any possible benefit. The drug is contraindicated in women who are or may become pregnant.
Prenatal vitiams are good for you, so just start them. Add iron and folic acid.
quote:...how long to wait after going off hormonal BC before trying to conceive.
This is very important, as the hormones can stay in her system for a long time and might cause a lot of problems for you.
Stock pile some pregnancy tests, and test with first in the morning pee. The stock pile is so, you don't have to debate, "Should we try, I don't want to waste the test, we only have so many?"
Get some books...one being a name book...unless you already have this worked out, it can be a problem as a name that one parent likes, another can hate. Another book that is God send is Baby 411.
While each trimester carries it's own problems and discomforts, the first trimester is the worse hands down. Nausea and the feeling of being hit by a car, no energy, etc.
You guys might consider not naming the fetus when you do catch, 75% of all miscarriages happen in the first trimester. If this does befall you, do not loose hope. It does not mean you can not try again, although if it does, you might want to seek therapy before trying again if you are particularly hard hit emotionally.
Do not buy the over the counter gender predictors, they are a huge waste of money.
Be careful of ultra sounds predicting the gender. Until you see a clear picture of penis or vulva, it is likely to be wrong, and while many techs/doctors have a lot of experience, push them for a % of certainty in their prediction, and then don't believe them til you see the bits and pieces for yourself.
Although it is now more widely known, make sure your wife is checked for Group B Strep before she gives birth. If she has it and gets antibiotics during birth then no probs, but without this simple test/medicine, many many problems may develop. (Family friends are personally responsible for this being well known, as it wasn't, and their son has had many many health problems since birth, so they made a non profit and hammered away until it was more universally tested for).
Good luck! Have fun!
It usually takes at least 3-6 months. So don't be discouraged.
Posts: 6683 | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
I believe it is a year before you can start getting treated for infertility so even at 6 months, it is kinda just luck. Assume everything is perfect, you have 20% chance so it isn't all that unlikely to take a while. And you can have known problems that are connected to infertility and get pregnant super quick (assume you have 5 blue marbles and 95 red, first draw you can still get a blue). Also, stressing seems to make babies less likely.
Posts: 2223 | Registered: Mar 2008
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posted
One more word of advice - don't go out drinking to comfort yourselves if you get a negative test result.... it might turn out that you're really pregnant after all! (Oops!)
Posts: 1321 | Registered: Jun 2006
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See also: not ordering a caffeinated soda at lunch because you might be pregnant, but then having a tuna sushi appetizer.
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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No soft cheese, no sushi, no deli meats, no alcohol, moderate caffeine- I am so glad I am not pregnant. And just a few more years and I can make that a guarantee. My dr won't sterilize me until I have lived with the decision a few years.
Posts: 2223 | Registered: Mar 2008
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quote:Originally posted by El JT de Spang: How often should you have sex to maximize your chances of conception, and at what point in your wife's cycle is her fertility at it's peak are two I'd probably want to know.
Personally, you should have sex twice a day just to be sure of catching the baby.
Posts: 1757 | Registered: Oct 2004
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I'm just going to say this, because it needs to be said. Nothing upset me while I was pregnant. Nothing at all. The second time I was pregnant, we knew it before I tested positive because my oldest was hospitalized (for dehydration from a stomach bug) and I just calmly went about doing what needed to be done without crying or anything.
So all those cliche stories about hysterical pregnant women can just BITE ME. Posts: 9293 | Registered: Aug 2000
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posted
I'm glad you had that happen Olivet...this was not the case with my wife. She (after the fact) apologized many a time for flying off the handle, coining the phrase "baby rage" to describe how the hormones affected her emotions.
From what I've heard of others, this kind of effect is not entirely rare, and I thought a little warning on how to help deal if it turns out that way was appropriate.
Posts: 6683 | Registered: Jun 2005
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:-) Well, Olivet, it may not be true for all, but it was true for me. Actually, that's how I knew I was pregnant. My first test came back negative, but I just kept not being able to control my temper...
I finally retested, and sure enough, it was positive!
Posts: 1321 | Registered: Jun 2006
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I knew on my second that I was pregnant because I was in agonizing pain, on the floor bawling kinda pain that I had only felt once before during pregnancy number one. With pregnancy number one, I thought OMG, if this is what a period is going to be like without birth control, I can't do it (I was diagnosed with endometriosis at 18 and been on the pill for 8 years when I went off and thankfully, immediately got pregnant).
Posts: 2223 | Registered: Mar 2008
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My wife has BAAAAD endometriosis, she lost an ovary to it, has had 7 laperosipies and was on lupron (puts you into chemical menopause) for ten times the lifetime recommended dose. She was told over and over again she would never have children without scientific intervention...shows you what they know, it took 3-4 months of trying for our first, and 2-3 for our second! Since having the babies she has been much better, although not entirely pain free. She recently had to stop taking BC because it was ruining her breast milk supply...so we are warming up for worse pain.
Posts: 6683 | Registered: Jun 2005
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Stone_Wolf- which pill is she on? I know some have less affect than others. Also, if she is lucky, the breastfeeding alone might be enough to prevent ovulation (however, trusting that for birth control is a great way to get another baby.
Posts: 2223 | Registered: Mar 2008
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You might ask about a Mirena IUD. They are extremely effective as birth control and, apparently, may help relieve endometriosis.
Posts: 3275 | Registered: May 2007
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Not remembering the name...but it was helping with the endo, but it was stopping her milk production. Both with our daughter Winter and our son Liam, breastfeeding had zero effect on her menses.
Baby girl made donkey pants and vomited all over herself...
Back...whew! Yea, so my wife is insisting on going off of BC so she can keep breastfeeding our lil Winty-Woo-Who, which is good, but, bad, as she will have way more pain.
Posts: 6683 | Registered: Jun 2005
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progestrogen only pills are supposed to not affect milk supply. Anecdotally, it does, but in controlled studies, the effect isn't seen. So, if tht i what she is doing, she can at least take pride in being a rare exception. Posts: 2223 | Registered: Mar 2008
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That sucks. I have heard after 6 months of breastfeeding you can sometimes get away with pills that earlier you couldn't. Wish I had some better advice. Endo pain is horrible.
Posts: 2223 | Registered: Mar 2008
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She's had it since age 14...and she is tough as nails...strong girls are hot.
The pills she was on were working, almost no pain. But my wife would rather suffer and be better able to breast feed then no pain and have low supply.
My wife is not a perfect person by a long shot, but she is a damn fine mother and I am proud of her and love her very much.
Posts: 6683 | Registered: Jun 2005
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quote:Originally posted by MattP: You might ask about a Mirena IUD. They are extremely effective as birth control and, apparently, may help relieve endometriosis.
My wife and a good friend of ours both had Mirena.
They both had problems with it and had it removed. From what they heard from the nurses at their doctors (different practices in different states) it seems that more people have problems with it than one might think.
Not saying don't do it... just sharing our experience.
Posts: 409 | Registered: Apr 2002
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Once you know for certain you are done having kids, they can do uterine ablation that my dr sys fixes endo completely. But it is irreversible sterilization so he strongly recommends waiting.
Posts: 2223 | Registered: Mar 2008
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