posted
Well, I did it. I got my bachelor's degree. Now I have literally no idea what to do.
That's not true, of course. Not true in the least. I suppose what I mean is that I have been going to school most of my life, and now I'm done. I could continue, perhaps, or get another degree, but I feel like I'm fine, for the moment, sticking with a B.A.
It's in Film, too. Maybe not the most useful degree, but even without drams of Hollywood I can look into things like editing and camerawork at TV news stations. I have those sorts of skills, and I have the practice to do those sorts of things.
I guess it's time to get that resume fixed up, figure out how to create a decent reel (figure out what to PUT on that reel, too!) and find a job related to my field.
But more than the actual actions of going and finding a job, I'm more stunned by the psychological effect of being done with school. I didn't feel happy about it when it was done. Granted, I was very tired from a LOT of work, but still. As this last week progressed -my first of truly being free of school- I realize that there's something of a void there.
This isn't like summer vacation, where I know I'm heading back in a few months and even this absence is part of the structure. There is no structure. I don't know what to do with myself. I've had jobs (even during school) for the past five years, but since things were so tough there near the end it wasn't a good idea to keep one, so maybe getting even a part time job would help.
But even so, I dunno what to do, really. I'm back in my parents' house, I have college debt, and it's weird. Worse, I just turned 24 yesterday, and I realize I'm in my mid-twenties now and I don't know what my fate is going to be, at all.
I'm feeling a quietly growing anxiety. I've started looking for jobs this last week (my first week free from school) but I need to do more. I do have time to write more now, and that's great! I'm enjoying that, and I'm getting some practice in before starting anything really detailed.
But I guess I'm just a little stunned. I have a bachelor's degree. I wonder if that's even enough. I've even gone a year without school, just for the sake of practice (and because of scheduling conflicts, mostly) in the past. But there was always school in the future, even for that year I just worked.
So, even in my rambling, it isn't that I haven't done this before. I have. And this time I have a bachelor's degree in something I enjoy doing, and have actual skills I can market. (Non-linear editing is something I can do without question. Final Cut Pro is a program I'm very familiar with now. I've handled numerous different types of HD cameras, and shot films with them. I can do lighting, and am familiar with that sort of equipment.) But even if this is something I've done before, and with fewer marketable skills than I have now, why do I feel so inadequate?
I'm just kind of sitting here, stunned by the whole thing.
Posts: 1577 | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
I hear you. I'm now running close to a year out of school and haven't done anything productive. Meaning no school or work, just looking for jobs. My advice as someone who didn't and hasn't done it is get a job as soon as possible. Not being able to contribute to society or to myself has been very, very damaging. Not that a few weeks off is going to kill you but unless you have specific plans for your time off (e.g. backpack in Alaska) sitting around is not going to be good for you beyond a little R&R time. Or at least it certainly hasn't been for me.
I also really understand what you mean about hitting your mid 20s and wondering what's up. I imagine it's pretty common but hearing that from other people is at best meaningless (and normally patronizing), whereas going through it can be really disorienting. Did you have some idea as to what you wanted to do out of school, or what you wanted to be doing down the road? That helps I imagine. Sadly I knew exactly what I wanted to do out of school and down the road and due to a combination of bad luck, poor job market, and lack of networking skills/drive I'm not doing it.
None of which is helpful unless it's a comfort to know others are currently going through it too. :waves: I'm trying a few things to get out of right now, and I've done a few things strictly for myself (I've gotten into photography, gone on camping trips, tried to pick-up the piano, these sort of things) and both sides of that (trying to move on and trying to make the time I'm stuck productive) has been a steadying influence. If you don't know where you want to go with your life though, this is a great time to try to open a vision up in that direction. Your first steps will define a direction and it's often hard to change course once you set-out.
Anyways, hang in there, sounds like you have a lot going for you!
quote:I do have time to write more now, and that's great! I'm enjoying that, and I'm getting some practice in before starting anything really detailed.
Enjoy it while it lasts!
Also, volunteer in your field ASAP, if possible. I volunteered, without any experience, at my local Rogers TV station in the summer after I graduated between my other two jobs.
Then I went back to school. For me, a bachelor's degree wasn't enough (English and History degree).
Posts: 8473 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
As a rising senior, this is a bit unsettling to read.
I'm unsure if I wish to link all the friends from my class to it or not... Maybe just the ones that are afraid of the "S" and "G" words.
Posts: 196 | Registered: Jun 2009
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A friend of mine that just graduated in the same class with me but was rejected on his grad applications is in a pit of despair at the moment on what to do. I imagine I'd be in the same place if I hadn't gotten into grad school, and I might be there in a couple years when/if I get my MA. Especially for those of us with humanities degrees, it's a troubling time to be graduating.
Posts: 21898 | Registered: Nov 2004
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