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Author Topic: Help with (LDS) Sermon this Sunday
SenojRetep
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I'm going to be giving a talk as part of my (LDS) church services this Sunday. Normally I'd be fine with this. However, we'll have a large contingent of visitors from a near-by Congregationalist group visiting with us this Sunday, and I'm concerned that my comments will either be impenetrable or possibly unintelligible to them.

Furthermore, I invited a couple of close friends who are both convinced atheists to attend. I hadn't really anticipated any interest, and was surprised when they said they'd like to come.

All this preamble is to say that I'd appreciate any number of fresh sets of eyes looking at what I'm planning on delivering and giving constructive criticism. I'd be particularly appreciative of thoughtful critiques from those with non-LDS backgrounds, whether religious, non-religious, or anti-religious.

Anybody willing to spend ten minutes reading the talk and a few more giving a brief reaction, either here or by email?

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BlackBlade
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I'd be happy to look it over. Admittedly, you're going to get a pretty LDS-centric response from me.

PM or email is fine.

taylor dot bradford at gee male dot com

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MattP
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I could take a look at it. (Atheist, but grew up in Catholic and Protestant churches and have been married to a Mormon for over 20 years)
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dkw
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I'm also willing to look. (United Methodist, with a degree from a UCC (Congregationalist) seminary.)
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SenojRetep
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Thanks guys! I'm sending the talk to your various email addresses. Feel free to post comments here, or send them directly to me by email.

I'm mostly concerned about clarity (esp. areas where I may have assumed contextual knowledge that non-LDS audience members won't have) and incautious language that might give offense.

<edit>Dana, the email linked from your profile bounced. Is there a better email to reach you at?</edit>

[ May 16, 2014, 09:51 AM: Message edited by: SenojRetep ]

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dkw
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dscopatz at the same email service as BlackBlade.
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SenojRetep
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quote:
Originally posted by dkw:
dscopatz at the same email service as BlackBlade.

Thanks! Just sent.
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dkw
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Got it and replied.
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iglee
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I envy you your opportunity to speak to that group in your meeting. You probably already know as much as I do about the subject, but send me your talk anyway. Who knows, maybe I can be of some small help. And if not I would still enjoy reading your talk anyway. I was going to send you an email but your email access is blocked, so I will post this here instead.
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DustinDopps
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I'd be happy to look at it too.

tacodave at hotmail

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SenojRetep
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Thanks iglee and Dustin. I've sent it to your email.
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advice for robots
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How'd it go?
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SenojRetep
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quote:
Originally posted by advice for robots:
How'd it go?

First, thanks everybody who was willing to help out. I made several changes based on the feedback I got and I think it made the talk better.

I got a lot of polite comments about how much people enjoyed the talk. It's always difficult for me to gauge how much of that was people being polite, and how much was warranted. One of the Congregationalists did say he thought I could easily give the sermon at their services (which is a paying gig!). My friend/boss, despite noticeably laughing at one point when I tripped over my words a bit, said that he enjoyed both the talk and the experience. Three members of the congregation went to the effort of emailing me to say they felt the talk was especially good and that it touched them personally.

So, I think it went well. I feel like I was able to say what I wanted and that I didn't say it in a way that inhibited anyone from feeling the Spirit.

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MattP
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Good job!
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