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This landmark has been difficult for me to write because I’ve always had trouble expressing my emotions, good or bad. The only reason I’m writing it now is because if I don’t post it now, I probably never will. Since I primarily stick to the fluff threads, I’m not very good at writing serious stuff, so I hope you’ll all bear with me.
I’d like to thank those who have made me feel welcome at Hatrack. I won’t name you individually, because I know I’d forget to name somebody. Well, I would like to thank the Cards for giving us this place to gather.
As many of you know my mom was diagnosed with cancer. I can’t believe it’s been 6 months since she had her mastectomy. She’s just finished chemotherapy, but will soon begin radiation therapy. While she’s going well thus far, I’m worried about what the future holds. I have a family history of cancer. My grandfather died from lung cancer and emphysema. My grandmother had breast cancer twice. Aside from the cancer, my mom is also diabetic. I am really scared.
As many of you also know, I am suffering from depression. Depression sucks. I’ve been depressed for at least 20 years. This is what has me convinced that it’s clinical depression as opposed to a simple case of the blues. No matter how depressed I’ve gotten, I’ve never contemplated suicide. I’m worried about what would happen if my mom dies. Things are going well so far, but with cancer you never know.
Admitting to all of you that I’m suffering from depression is the scariest thing I’ve ever done. I did it because, as the saying goes, I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was amazed at the responses I got to my thread about depression. It’s good to know that I’m not alone.
Hatrack is the first place I’ve found where I feel like I fit in. It’s a safe harbor from the storms of life.
I tend to post in the fluff threads, avoiding the serious threads. It’s not because I don’t have opinions on the various issues being discussed. I worry about someone being offended by something I’ve said. Maybe it’s because I, myself am so sensitive to criticism.
In conclusion, I’d like to thank Hatrack for accepting me and making me feel welcome.
Posts: 4569 | Registered: Dec 2003
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quote: I tend to post in the fluff threads, avoiding the serious threads. It’s not because I don’t have opinions on the various issues being discussed. I worry about someone being offended by something I’ve said. Maybe it’s because I, myself am so sensitive to criticism.
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Well done! You still haven't told me what your new calling is.
How about battling depression by spending the summer camped out on the shores of a high mountain wilderness lake with a couple of buddies, a float tube, some fishing gear, and a good book?
Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004
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skillery, I don't have a new calling yet. That idea of camping by a mountain lake sounds good. I just wish I could find a way to pull it off.
Posts: 4569 | Registered: Dec 2003
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Welcome. Altho I am probably newer then you, I am grateful for everyone on hatrack. It is truly a great place to share ideas, learn, and get support. ((Derell)).
Posts: 1034 | Registered: Mar 2004
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I am glad Hatrack is here, too. If it wasn't, I wouldn't meet such wonderful people like you. Well, I might, but my odds are greatly improved.
I am glad you've reached your 1,000th post. Now, I just have to reach mine.
BTW, I did read your story. I liked it a lot. I just haven't gotten around to typing up my notes on it. Of course, they are probably moot by now. Just thought you'd like to know.
Posts: 822 | Registered: Jul 2001
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(((Alexa))) (((Dagonee)))Thanks for the prayers. (((larisse)))I'll take all the feedback I can get. (((twinky)))
Posts: 4569 | Registered: Dec 2003
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Derrell, I'd like to thank you for the help you've given me this past week. I know you've been going through a tough time for a while now, and it's totally awesome that even through your pain you can still be there for other people. Dude, you rock. Posts: 1431 | Registered: Aug 2003
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Wow, I think that was my first cyber-hug from another dude...
I appreciate the sentiment, but that's just too wierd man. jk
Serious though, it seems like person after person was getting 1000 posts and posting landmarks. I didn't know who any of them were. Since most of your posts are consist of more than just " " I say I hope you stay and I also hope we have more posters like you. Posts: 4229 | Registered: Dec 2002
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(((tt&t))) You're welcome. I find that helping others feel better makes me feel better.
Nick, I'm not going anywhere. Hatrack feels like home to me. The people here are a family. It's a dysfunctional family, but a family none the less.
Posts: 4569 | Registered: Dec 2003
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((((((((((Derrell)))))))))) I noticed you few after your arrival beyond us, and immediatly felt sympathy for you, perhaps because our similar experiments with cancer. I like you, Derrell, and I'm glad you're part of Hatrack. EDIT : because I can't type
[ April 23, 2004, 12:43 PM: Message edited by: Anna ]
Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
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quote: Can you tell me how you get the little marks above the letters in your SN?
Eruve Nandiriel, it's very easy. I'm guessing you're running Windows. You go: Start menu>programs>accessories>system tools>character map
Click on the character you want, and in the bottom right corner of the window, it will show you what to press to create that letter. For example to get and "o" with an acute over it, you hold alt and press 0, 2,4, and 3 in succession. alt+0243=ó Get it?
Posts: 4229 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Derrell, my mom was diagnosed with cancer a few years back. They caught it much too late to do anything with and we didn't have very much longer with her. She died not much after my own 30th birthday. I miss her every day. I hope that things turn out much better with your mom. I will keep her in my thoughts.
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Derrell, I hope your mom recovers quickly, and I appreciate you opening up about your depression. Congrats on 1000! (((Derrell)))
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Thanks, thrak. Things are going well, so far. She will soon begin radiatin therapy. I'm nervous about what thefuture holds. Posts: 4569 | Registered: Dec 2003
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{Hoists a glass of homebrew to toast your landmark post}
Using the power of positive thought energy to assist your mother in a successful return to good health.
I think I may have had a few bouts of depression myself although I've never been diagnosed or treated. I'm using the aforementioned power of positive thought energy to help you find joy in life and realize that tomorrow perpetually holds promise.
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I have a family history of cancer. My grandfather died from lung cancer and emphysema. My grandmother had breast cancer twice. Aside from the cancer, my mom is also diabetic. I am really scared.
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I'll be sure to keep her in my prayers.
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(busy weeks...)
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Congrats on making past 1,000 posts!
