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There was a kids film festival at the Angelika Theatre in Dallas today, so I threw on some sweats (Will likes to yack on things) and I took my five kids to see Pooh's Heffalump Movie and Miyazaki/Morita's The Cat Returns (which was excellent). As we were walking up to the theater, a very well-groomed man approached from the other direction, evident disgust on his face, and very disdainfully said "been busy, haven't you?"
For the first time in my life I wanted to start a scene.
Ok. Not a scene. A fight.
Believe me, if he had said it with any trace of humor or even sympathy I would have just gone one more, mabye even joked back a bit. He was very obviously angry about the fact that I had so many kids and insulting me for it. I wasn't the only one stunned.
But I was stunned, and unfortunately he was out of earshot before I gathered myself enough to do the right thing and tell him to "come back and say that again, @$$hat" or otherwise challenge him to a duel.
And besides I was holding a soon-to-be 8 month old baby in my arms and had four other kids modeling their behaviors on me... so I let it go and told my kids how proud I was of them and how much I loved them...
And I'm going to say a little bit in tribute to each of them here to atone for not defending their honor today. That man was insulted by the presence of my children, as if they made his world poorer. I am going to publically declare that they make the world richer, and why. I have also sent a picture of the older four to Ludosti and will get a picture of Will up when I get one taken digitally or scanned.
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Christian - He speaks slowly and unevenly and stutters quite a bit unless I remind him to take a deep breath every so often. I believe this is because he has so much to say that it all comes out at once and he has a hard time organizing his thoughts into speech. Now 10, he has read Ender's Game twice and one of his favorite pastimes is digging up my old college textbooks to see what he can learn from them. One day I showed him about the periodic table of the elements and how it worked, with basic examples off the first couple of rows (H, He, Li, C, O, Ne). The next time I saw him, he had drawn accurate basic models of Gold, Lead, and Uranium... both nuclei and electrons (not the suborbitals but the shells all had the right numbers of electrons in them). When he was 5, his mom took broken crayons and melted them for him in the oven, and he explained to her about energy states and that the crayons were absorbing the kinetic energy of the heated air and increasing their level of kinetic energy as a result and that's why they got runny.
He's goofy and funny and he loves books and games. Wildly creative (he was telling me last night how to rig a hair dryer to provide warm air for people who want to colonize Mars), he can then go suddenly serious and be the most grounded, responsible person you could meet (for short periods of time).
A little self centered (runs in the family ), but very well behaved and courteous with a little prodding, he is quite handsome and will absolutely slay women with his glances, particularly as his eyes still can't make up their mind about what color to be and will vary from Jade Green through Deep Charcoal to a nearly blue Confederate Grey.
The hard part about Christian is not geting him to focus, but getting him to stay focused on the same thing... or to focus on you .
He is a brown belt in a particularly potent version of Kung Fu and is working on learning a choreographed staff fight with me at this time. He can't be considered for Black Belt till he's 16.
He is my firstborn and I made most of my parenting mistakes with him. I'm working hard to rectify them. He's a spectacular kid and I am incredibly proud of him.
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Katherine - She likes to shorten it to Katie, sometimes. 8 year old Katherine is one of the more social creatures I have ever seen. She loves pink and purple, yet may be rougher and physically stronger than her older brother. Barbie, Disney princesses, and her "boyfriend" Matt (Matt doesn't really have this figured out yet) occupy a large portion of her world.
She likes movies and "cool" things and playing Super Mario Smash Brothers as Zelda/Sheikh. She doesn't like fast rides at six flags or Kung Fu... but she does do soccer around the house. Friendly and always upbeat, Katherine brings her smile into any situation and is always ready with a hug or kiss to make things better. She can be finicky about food sometimes, but will dance and sing with abandon when you crank the music.
Katie is destined to be in the popular clique if we decide to put her in public schools, but she's solid and forthright enough to be the kind you want to know, not the kind in Mean Girls or Heathers.
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I’m enjoying reading this, and I know you know you set a much better example for your kids by ignoring the idiot than you would have by confronting him.
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Elizabeth - She's cute and she knows it. She used to be the youngest and still likes to ride a bit on her older sibling's coattails when it comes to chores and stuff... and at 5, that's ok. A dazzling smile and infectious laugh come to mind when picturing Lizzy, but she does have her moody side. Nonetheless, she makes a certain face when she's mad at you and all you have to do is caricature it back at her and she will die laughing. She positively glows and I really can't overstate the wonderful effervesence of her laugh.
Yet she's probably the most serious of all the kids. Sarcasm and facetiousness are totally lost on her. "Dad, that's not a diaper, that's a baby!" (see subsequent diaper joke) or "it's been one minute dad, will you listen to me now?" come out of Lizzy's mouth on a regular basis. She is working hard at learning the basic stances for kung fu and doing quite well.
She's never wrong either. If she says the sky isn't blue, don't try to convince her... she knows what she sees. Very well behaved, she almost never causes trouble, though some of it does seem to find her occasionally, nonetheless. She used to be ok with me calling her "Lizard Butt" but she doesn't like it any more.
Now she just prefers "Butt" .
Of all my children, she is the least likely to drive us into the psych ward. That may not seem like much, but as a parent, I say that with great thankfulness.
quote: Of all my children, she is the least likely to drive us into the psych ward. That may not seem like much, but as a parent, I say that with great thankfulness.
That's great! Keep the descriptions coming - and then print this thread out and save it for them to find later.
That guy was a total jerk, and you're a good parent! I would have bowed to my impulse and chased the jerk down. and then spent a lot of time explaining why that wasn't okay . . .
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Robert Lewis Scott- Wow. Full on, 100% all the time... this one is destined for greatness if he lives to see his 3rd birthday. "Robbit the Destructor" seems to have gotten all of my curiousity and adrenaline. Before he was 2, he figured out how to defeat the deadbolt locks on our house. Three times he made it out and headed up the street causing heart attacks in us and much consternation among the neighbors.
He is the reason we, and our closest friends, have chains on their doors.
For a while his favorite pastime was to remove all clothing, climb to the highest point he could find (often 6-8 feet up), shout "to infinity and beyond!" and leap.
He may be the only person on the planet who is a bigger Pixar fan than I am.
Yesterday we went to the Dallas World Aquarium (which is quite awesome and even more pricey). Whenever there was a tank with coral in it, he would crack up everyone around by excitedly asking "Dad? where Nemo?"
When we found a tank with clownfish in it, he immediately and enthusiastically declared Nemo found.
He can tackle his older brother. With only a little bit of faking on my part, he can tackle me. He is trying his best to learn kung fu, but when it comes time to practice, he prefers to just get hit and thrown down rather than actually using what we worked on. It's all a game to him at this point. Which is fine. He's fun to play with.
His other great love is to be read to. He constantly brings me stacks of books and loves to shout along with me.
Sandra Boynton is his favorite author.
I suspect Robbit's credo will be "lead, follow, or get out of the way" because he doesn't seem to care about where we are going, who's paying attention, or who's in charge, as long as he is going somewhere and making noise in the process.
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William - Just about to turn 8 months old, Will hasn't had time to have a lot of impact, but he has, nonetheless.
Among other things, he has resurrected an old Joke:
"It's time to change the baby" "What are you going to change him into?" "A Diaper... [to Will] poof, you're a diaper! [placing a diaper over his face]"
and he has given us a new battlecry "Where there's a Will, there's a way!"
He knows me so well... and when I'm in the room he immediately turns to watch me, a heart-melting smile on his face. He has started crawling in the last six weeks or so, making tracking him a little more difficult.
There's a plant that he loves to eat... I fear it won't last long. I don't know what kind it is, but it's not poisonous. I have dubbed it "Will Salad".
We call him "Wilbur" because he has a very healthy appetite and Buddha Belly. He is Some Pig.
But I will go on record as saying this is the sweetest, most kindly disposed baby ever. He sleeps through the night and nearly always has. He almost never fusses and when he does, it's quiet and, actually, helpful. It's always one of two things... he's either hungry or needs changing. He's a breeze.
He has recently learned to stick out his tongue and to make "agggh!" sounds, both of which he was practicing with great relish today. But that tells you something right there... he was, on the whole, quiet enough and calm enough to sit through TWO movies today on one outing... at less than 8 months old.
Whatever else is going on in the world, this baby is at peace.
As someone who has chosen not to have children, I am very glad that there are parents like you out there, who joyfully love and appreciate all you have.
Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
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So that's it. A snapshot of my family today. I love them and they are the most beautiful children I could ever ask for, inside and out. I'd say they are my gift to the world, but for the fact that they were God's gift to me. Nonetheless, I know the world will be poorer for their passing someday and it is certainly not better that they had never been born... whatever suffering they have yet to face. I do hope that I can adequately help them prepare for it and face it... though like any parent, if it were possible, I'd do it for them.
Shan,
quote: and you're a good mom!
As a guy, I'll take that as one of the greatest compliments I have yet received. I had hoped to be a good father... to be a good mother, even figuratively, was something I thought beyond my skills.
I know you didn't mean it that way, but thank you anyhow!
(this is me-trying-to-be-subtle and saying that Mothering is harder than Fathering... clarifying in case I botched it)
Posts: 3846 | Registered: Apr 2004
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You're a good daddy, Jim-Me. Your posts remind me of these cards my parents wrote to their 5 kids on their 30th anniversary. Each one was unique, and described what my parents loved about us. And they tried to find pictures on the fronts that reminded them of some aspect of our personalities as children. I still treasure that card. You keep up the good work, and I'm sure your kids will enrich the world far more than any snotty old well groomed man ever will.
Posts: 499 | Registered: Mar 2004
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It's great having kids that exist together as a big jumble of working off of each other. Sound like your children have the best deal ever!
Posts: 8473 | Registered: Apr 2003
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You describe your children very well. I think you handled yourself well with the jerk at the theater. I agree that you should print this page and give it to your children. They will cherish it.
Posts: 747 | Registered: Aug 2004
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It was a very bitter, small-hearted person who insulted you.
Sounds like you have some pretty awesome kids. Each one is precious and the world is better for them being here.
Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
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Good for you for not giving that small-minded jerk what he deserved. That modeling proper behavior for kids thing is HARD, neh?
quote: "It's time to change the baby" "What are you going to change him into?" "A Diaper... [to Will] poof, you're a diaper! [placing a diaper over his face]"
*buries face in hands* You mean OTHER people tell that awful joke? I really thought it was only my kids' dad.
You are a great dad, Jim-Me, and your kids sound awesome. Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote: As someone who has chosen not to have children, I am very glad that there are parents like you out there, who joyfully love and appreciate all you have.
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I am sorry that happened, Jim-Me. You handled the situation well, though, and your children sound lovely.
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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I love those descriptions, Jim-Me. You sound like a fantastic father to your children. I know I'd love to have any or all of them in my classes (maybe not the littlest ones just yet) which is pretty much the highest compliment I can pay a parent, not being one myself.
Posts: 1550 | Registered: Jun 1999
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Jim-Me, your family is coming to DallasCon, right? After hearing these descriptions, I really want to meet your kids! They sound just wonderful. (I have momentarily misplaced my list.)
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I could probably drag them along, yes . I might get jealous, however, of the attention they'll get. That will be close to Will's first Birthday so we should add him into the celebration.
Thanks all for joining me in appreciating them.
Posts: 3846 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Ooh... that makes me mad. It ranks right up there with the time I was telling my 3rd grade teacher about my friend Lucy who has 11 brothers and sisters and she said, "That's awful. It's polluting the planet."
I admire the way you handled it and your subsequent penance Your kids sound fabulous. Three cheers for JimMe and family!
Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
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And I've always wondered what motivates people to say things like that. I've heard them since my next-younger sister (the fourth) was born, when I was 5. I din't really get them at the time, but I remembered them until I could realize how snide and nasty people are about other people's children.
Here's a hint for those who don't get it: when you complain about the number of children someone has in fron of those children, you are basically saying that you wish at least some of them didn't exist to their face.
That's the generic you, because I doubt there's anyone like that here.
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This is one of the best threads on Hatrack, ever. You are an inspiring parent, Jim-Me. I think you're children are very lucky and the only proper reaction to the jerk who insulted you is (internal) pity. He deserves none of your attention.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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You know, I don't know when I've read a thread that left me feeling quite as warm and...well, half in love with a bunch of people I'd never even really been aware of before reading about them. You did a fantastic job of communicating just how great all of them are.
Anybody else think that this deserves to be put in the Landmark forum once we've finished discussing it here?
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), but very well behaved and courteous with a little prodding, he is quite handsome and will absolutely slay women with his glances, particularly as his eyes still can't make up their mind about what color to be and will vary from Jade Green through Deep Charcoal to a nearly blue Confederate Grey. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
.![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
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I now how hard it was, but not responding in kind is the right thing.
