posted
My name is Abby. I’m 19 years old and I’m a freshman at American University. Those are the basic facts.
Now for the interesting part: I never seem to catch a break. I was diagnosed with depression during my junior year. At the same time, my parents spilt up, leaving me with my mother.
My father and I had never been very close. He traveled all the time, he still does, and I was always much closer with my mother. My brother had left for college a few years ago, and it was just my mom and I dealing with my depression.
I had a lot of friend problems as well. I left my original group of friends during sophomore year because I realized that they were selfish and had no regard for me. I know that sounds selfish, but I have always been really conscious of my friends’ feelings. I am considered the mother of my group, or “Mommy Abby.” So I left that group, and joined a new group or indie kids that accepted me for whom I was. I spent the rest of my high school career with that group, not happy, but feeling better, year by year.
High school wasn’t the best time of my life. Just the opposite, in fact. I couldn’t wait for it to end and my college career to begin. The end of high school was difficult, as the two groups of friends joined together to form one mega-group. But that’s another story. So, I was excited for high school to end. I graduated and I thought I was through the tough period of my life.
The next day, I was told that I had cancer. Thyroid cancer to be exact. I spent the entire summer afraid and scared. My friends were good to me, to an extent. I can’t complain. I had surgery in August, and recovered for two weeks, with my friends standing by me.
Three days later, I started college. I hated it. I was still exhausted and couldn’t participate in any of the orientation activities. I couldn’t make friends and I missed my family. I wanted to sleep in my own bed and pet my puppy. It was horrible. Each time I came back home I cried and pleaded with my parents to let me stay.
Eventually it got better. I made friends and I started enjoying my classes. I stopped thinking about leaving and concentrated instead on making myself happy.
Now, things are in turmoil again. My mother has a history of arrhythmia, and I have a feeling that I’m developing some heart problems myself. Since I’ve come back to school from winter break, I’ve had a lot of problems sleeping. Well, that’s a lie; I’ve always had problems sleeping, but lately my heart has been beating especially hard. I didn’t think much of it, thinking that I was just imagining it. But then I went to the gym and went on the elyptical. My heart rate was 180. I’ve been going to the doctor, trying to figure out what it is, but I still don’t know. We’ve checked for thyroid related problems, but we haven’t gotten the result yet.
Wish my luck for my next obstacle.
Posts: 1789 | Registered: Jul 2003
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I'm glad that you are getting help, and I hope all comes out well. I am personally grateful to you for help you have generously given to my family, and I feel that I owe you. If there is anything that I can do to help you get through your stuff, call on me.
Take care of yourself. ((Abby))
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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Heart-racings can be a good thing - when trying to cycle up a mountain.
When you're trying to sleep? - not so much.
It sounds to me, a bit, like your heart is trying to keep time with your worrisome brain. And, both are weary.
Do you have any ideas about how to give one or the other a rest? I suspect that formulating your approach to the next obstacle, is not in the best interest of either.
posted
Thank you all for your concerns. It meanst a lot.
And no, Adam. They're not. I'll have my brother sent over the pictures that he took of the new baby panda, and you'll be proven wrong. I mean, that thing is CUTE!'
Posts: 1789 | Registered: Jul 2003
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