Hatrack River Forum: Hatrack (LA-stylings): or What This Place Needs

This is topic Hatrack (LA-stylings): or What This Place Needs in forum Discussions About Orson Scott Card at Hatrack River Forum.

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Posted by alluvion (Member # 7462) on :

1. A valet

2. A bouncer

3. A tour guide.

Applications will be processed in a manner most convenient (sp?) to the author (moi).

Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :

Application for Bouncer

NAME: Tigger

RESIDENCE: Some kid's imagination

Why do I want to be a bouncer?

Because . . . .

The most wonderful things about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are wonderful things
Their tops are made out of rubber
Their bottom's are made out of springs.
They're (deep breath)
bouncy
flouncy
pouncy
trouncy
fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!
But by far the most wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is IIIIIIIIIIII'mmmmmmmm the only one.

ggggrrrrrrrrr...

Thank you, thank you, thank you . . .

[Hat]

Posted by alluvion (Member # 7462) on :

ggggrrrr.... indeed.

Well, that's one well-placed kitten. (phwoargh! - excuse me)

Two posits to fill,
mind the drill
and never be late to
debate
that which you will...

Posted by Orson Scott Card (Member # 209) on :

I'm curious about which kind of valet you're accepting applications for. The kind that helps you get dressed? Or the kind that parks your car? Because while I often come to this forum naked, I never, never come in a car.

Posted by Orson Scott Card (Member # 209) on :

This is, of course, why I will never have a webcam or a visiphone.

Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :

[Laugh]

Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :

I suspect that's the reaction he fears, Shan.

Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :

Can you imagine, Pops - lots of forum jockeys with insomnia in varying states of deshabille chatting back and forth visibly?

I dunno - the whole image of forum folk becoming visible IRT just amused me. Particularly in the wee hours of the night/early morn/post afternoon nappy . . .

Apologies if I offended -

Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :

"Like your real friends, only with less clothing."

Didn't offend me, but I'm pretty thick-skinned. I was just making a joke, and you couldn't tell simply because it wasn't that funny. You'd think after experiencing that for so many years I'd've learned either to be funnier or not to make jokes. But no, no....

Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :

Now see, if you had included *grin* at the end of that statement, Pops, I'd have known it was okay. And just putting in the word *grin* is not the same thing as using a smiley - oh no, not at all . . .

*grin*

Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :

But I don't grin when I say it. I'm totally deadpan -- ask anyone.

Posted by alluvion (Member # 7462) on :

"3. A tour guide."

*smacks head*

I dunno WHAT I was thinking. Tour guide? "scoff!" In this maze?

Let's make a little revision:

1. A valet - 1 hesitant feeler

(change job duties description to include scripted customer dialogue exchange:

Come in a car, or
Arrive as you are
Please take leave of your keys
Pull up just this far

)

2. Bouncer - position filled with grace, charm and chutzpaws!

3. Marketing director

Posted by Mr_Megalomaniac (Member # 7695) on :

I could use a tour guide. I've been lost for days on end here with only my wits end to protect me, and that failed within the first three minutes.

I don't like the idea of a bouncer. Bouncers are big, scary, and mean. I will never be one of those guys to walk at the entrance of a club, nod my head to the bouncer, he nods back, and lets me in. Though... aren't the mods like bouncers? Great, now I fear them.

And valet's steal cars. Unless... can I have that job? Anyone parks a Delorean they won't be seeing it again. I hope they won't be doing background checks after the interviews and end up finding this post.

Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :

You're afraid of l'il ole' lovable Tigger?

How sad.

Grrrrrrr.

Posted by alluvion (Member # 7462) on :

Mr. M,

Are you applying for a position here?

- A.

Posted by Occasional (Member # 5860) on :

I was thinking the finish to the heading would have been " . . . more traffic."

Posted by alluvion (Member # 7462) on :

And, don't forget the "smug".

[Smile]

Posted by alluvion (Member # 7462) on :

Still looking for a valet. But, only one who knows the gears.

*vroom broom?*

Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :

*posts in her underwear*