Hatrack River Forum: I had forgotten what it feels like...

This is topic I had forgotten what it feels like... in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.

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Posted by Emperor Palpatine (Member # 3544) on :

...to hold a girl in your arms. Its been about a year since my insane relationship, and tonight was our Homecoming game.

It was cold and raining.

Me and my friend, we held each other for about an hour or two. It felt awesome, like I had been truly happy for the first time in months. Just being with her did that to me.

You know, its the subtle touches, the tighter holds, the caresses...

Well, sounds like I'm in a pretty romantic mood, eh?

Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :

LOL! I know how you feel, dude. Remember Tuck everlasting? That girl is awesome. I too, had almost forgotten it. Feels great, eh?

Posted by Dante (Member # 1106) on :

Jerks.

Posted by Marce al'Meara (Member # 1027) on :

Even if there's nothing romantic involved, even if it's your best friend of the opposite sex, there is something calming and peaceful about a long embrace like that. Always makes me less lonely when I'm in a "dry spell"--between relationships.

Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :

::launches self face first into sidewalk::

Posted by martha (Member # 141) on :

awwwww how sweet

yes, physical touch is so underrated. Hugs are as important as food and sleep.

Posted by Rakeesh (Member # 2001) on :

You know, I am currently comfortable with my life as a confirmed bachelor.

Now stop making me experience discomfort. *scowl*

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

I didn't know you could forget.

I sure can't.

Posted by Rakeesh (Member # 2001) on :

Think "suppress"

Posted by somedeadguy (Member # 3759) on :

whew, from the title of this thread I was thinking this would be about onanism

*relieved*

That aside, I've never been much of a huggy or cuddly person. I only hug people when I see that they need it, never does anything for me...

...and what's up w/ all of the romance threads popping up around here lately?

Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :

I think they're trying to make some of us jelous!

Grrrr!

Hobbes

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

quote:
Think "suppress."

Ah, denial... I know you well...

Posted by Rakeesh (Member # 2001) on :

Twinky, do you know denial too? We have a mutual acquaintance!

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

Denial and I are great buddies. We frequently shoot the breeze over a cold one or three.

Posted by martha (Member # 141) on :

deadguy, I have a theory about the prevalence of people needing physical affection lately: it's because the weather's getting colder, and people keep each other warm.

You might notice around March and April people's toes thaw out and they decide that they can do without their current hugmate.

Posted by Emperor Palpatine (Member # 3544) on :

Yes, it is because of the cold weather that some people find the need to hug.

However, my case is just a little different. I don't think the "thawing out" in March and April thing will happen to me.

Posted by Maethoriell (Member # 3805) on :

SDG, you're pathetic..romance is cool..maybe you just want to disregard it on purpose..tsk..

Someone's embrace is always so unique..especially when it's someone you like. When my bf puts his hand over my shoulder and then he has to go away..you just miss it..It's that special..

[This message has been edited by Maethoriell (edited October 27, 2002).]

Posted by Pixie (Member # 4043) on :

::jealous of Mae::

Posted by Tristan (Member # 1670) on :

*Is jealous of Mae's boyfriend*

Oups! How old were you again?

Posted by Pixie (Member # 4043) on :

LOL Tristan!

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

Girls are just so cuddleable... curvy and soft and smooth and... yum.

...but for now, I think I'll be content to feel good when girls hit on me, and continue to exit stage left before they can try to give me phone numbers.

Posted by Emperor Palpatine (Member # 3544) on :

Bastard rock star.

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

It has nothing to do with being a rock star.

I'm just not interested in the committment thing right now, and as such I've sworn women off until I can sort out just what it is I actually want.

Posted by Centurion (Member # 3956) on :

I'm not real hugable.

A flaw on my part.

And a girl just gave me a fat lip.

I'm having a good day.

Posted by Emperor Palpatine (Member # 3544) on :

Welcome back Cent.

Posted by Pixie (Member # 4043) on :

"curvy and soft and smooth and... yum."
LOL. So that's what all the guys are thinking when they stare.

Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :

I had always wondered!

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

quote:
So that's what all the guys are thinking when they stare.

Posted by Emperor Palpatine (Member # 3544) on :

Hehe. Damn, now they know..

Well, here's Homecoming part 2.

Things that I learned:

1) It doesn't matter how tight a girl is with your semi-girlfriend, she can still be all over you (snort)

1b) You are able to resist that girl

2) You can spend a lot of the dance bored, and have one good, last slowdance make it one of the best nights of your life

3) You can have jealousy melt away and everything other horrible emotion during that last slowdance

4) You can get STDs by dancing

5) You can dance to hip-hop and house music when you listen to punk and emo (heard A-ha's Take On Me remix...laughing while dancing)

6) And that school dances give you the amzing need to go to church the next day

All in all, it was a great night.

Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :

twinky: That's why you find girls who are equally avoidant of commitment.

Ah, Guavaween. The joy of being surrounded by drunk, shirtless, muscular men and pretty goth boys. Mrowrl.

-pH

Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :

I went to sadies with a girl other than the one from Tuck. Im not sure how I felt inside, but I persona'd a happy lively attitude. Im not sure if I was happy, depressed, envious, prideful or what.

Anger was there, but I tried to subside it for the girls sake. Afterall, why should I be mad at her or around her. She didn't do anything.

Posted by ae (Member # 3291) on :

Love is nice. Touch is nice.

Life is nice.

Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :

Yummmy.....touch......yumm....

Posted by Eddie Whiteshoes (Member # 2951) on :

quote:
4) You can get STDs by dancing

Dude, whatever dance it is that yer doing, yer doing it right.

Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :

I like to just hold hands.

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

quote:
You can dance to hip-hop and house music when you listen to punk and emo

Of course you can! I'll bust a move on the dance floor as easily as the next guy, especially if they're playing house... even though rock 'n roll is my bread and butter.

Good thing you learned this lesson in high school; I didn't learn it till I was going into third year university.

quote:
That's why you find girls who are equally avoidant of commitment.

See, that opens up a whole other can of worms. I did the super-casual one-time thing once, and learned that that isn't really for me either, because the intimacy just isn't there. When I was cuddling/making out/whatevering with the last (and first) girl I fell head over heels for, every little touch and caress was... *shivers* mmmmm. Sensual.

Can't get that from casual things.

What I figure I'll do is become a 2-3 date cutoff kinda guy so as to avoid falling for anyone. That way I can still meet women and learn about them and what makes them tick without the bad mojo of the one-time casual thing and without shooting myself in the foot by falling for someone.

Foolproof, right?

Posted by Leonide (Member # 4157) on :

agreed, Storm. Holding hands is nice all by itself.
Of course, that's if you have someone to hold hands with...::sigh::

Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :

I save my hands for a rainy day. I find vinegar preserves them quite nicely.

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

Leonide, are you saying that men aren't lining up to date you?

*gets in line*

Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :

hip hop and drum and bass aren't the things i listen to the most, but they are the thinks i dance to the best! heh. if it works, i'll groove my arse off to anything.

ditto on the intimacy thing. i don't like the casual makeout. i am an intense person, i need intense, and if it isn't intense chances are i will do everything in my power to make it so. unfortunately this means falling for someone i wouldn't have ever fallen for in my right mind, and also not really enjoying anything i'm doing if i haven't fallen.
my ex boyfriend (still good friend) and i were discussing group sex the other day (i am sooooooo sorry to derail this way, but i realy am going to make a point) and i was saying that i really just didn't think i could be into it because sex and other serious displays of physical affection are just so emotional for me. i have to be emotionally tied to really get into it, i WANT to be emotional, and it MAKES me emotional. and i am selfish in that area. i want to focus all on one person and have them focus on just me. i would rather have really really intense sex with one person than drunken wild sex with four other people.

so i guess i am kinda where twinky's at, sort of avoiding the serious, but things get dramatic no matter what i try. and i have had a hard time even feeling like dating because aforementioned ex boyfriend and i still have strings connecting us in the chest area; a little to the left.
and perhaps a litle lower, too. heh.
*sigh*

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

*nods*

Agreed.

...as to the ties with the ex, I still have them as well, but I figure that I wouldn't be doing myself any favours by sitting around and pining or missing her. I may not be over her, but I do know that there are plenty of good matches out there for me whenever I'm ready to let someone else in.

Nothing gets you over the ex one like the next one

(...nothing gets you over someone like getting under someone else )

Or something. I dunno.

Posted by dspeyer (Member # 758) on :

quote:

Holding hands is nice all by itself.
Of course, that's if you have someone to hold hands with...::sigh::

Yeah, somehow holding your own hand just doesn't work. Too bad, we've got two of them.

Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :

twinky, the 3-date cutoff is eeeeeeeeevil.

I dunno, I've been able to find enough meaningful contact through casual making out and such. But they're usually more than one-time things with me. Like, a friend (or two..or three..) who lives far away that I can't see all the time...or someone else who wants closeness but is too squicked by relationships...usually due to experiences similar to mine...but who doesn't want to lose that sort of tactile connection that can be so reassuring.

It doesn't work for a lot of people..but I've found that for many people I've met, if you openly discuss things like that it can work pretty well.

Besides, it helps me forget how much I miss other people.

-pH

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

Evil, you say? On which end?

The trouble is that since I'm moving every four months, I can't really keep coming back to the same person unless I meet someone at school. For example, if I meet someone this term, I'll probably never see them again after Christmas because I don't plan to come back to this town.

...that's precisely why, when I met a bright, cute, witty girl who is down in the "radical left-wing anarchist" (at least according to Geoff's political test ) camp with me a couple of weeks ago, I made a graceful exit before she could give me her number.

Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :

*stabs twinky*

Evil on your end. Why not just _tell_ them you don't want anything serious?

-pH

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

...because then they'll assume I want something casual, which is also not the case.

Posted by Rakeesh (Member # 2001) on :

Admit your villainy-save yourself now, while you still can!

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

But there is no villainy yet! I haven't implemented the three-date protocol, I'm just planning to.

Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :

Premeditated villany is even worse!

-pH

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

Well, what else is there to do in my situation? I don't see any other solutions.

Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :

You could lie like a rug and tell them you were looking for a serious commitment and then leave them at your whim.

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

I think pH would probably call that villainous too

Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :

Well, if you're going to be damned if you do or damned if you don't, might as well go for the gusto. My experience is that even though women *say* they like honesty, what they really mean to say is that they want guys to tell them what they want to hear as honestly sounding as possible. PLUS, after a while, if you really do actually become evil, women will be beating down your door to go out with you. I mean, even moreso than they are now.

Of course, I just like to hold hands. So, you know, don't mind me.

Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :

You know all of those surveys that say that 90% of women look for humor in man more than good looks? They're all filthy rotten lies!

Hobbes

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

quote:
I mean, even moreso than they are now.

They aren't lining up by any stretch of the term, but they are out there. But I do have an evil friend (he's trying to reform, but he has definitely left a blazing trail of destruction in his wake), and they're lining up to date him while he's at school, and on his current work term in Finland they're lining up to have sex with him (this despite the fact that he has a girlfriend and as such tells them all "no").

What I can't figure out is where to find the ones I'd really be interested in committing to. Fortunately, I don't have to worry about it for another year or so...

Hobbes, of course they're lies. That's just what women say so they can feel good about themselves. Denial and all that.

Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :

Yes, still villainous.

I still say the casual stuff helps stave off the urge to jump right into a relationship.

So does Jay Gordon...and the desire to not settle for anything less than everything I want.

-pH

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

Yes, but "casual" for you and "casual" for me don't mean the same thing. I can't do the serial casual thing that you do, because I'm never in one place for long enough.

Posted by martha (Member # 141) on :

twinky, I'm as averse to commitment as you are; I'll go on three dates with you. Are you good-looking AND funny?

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

Well, is one for two okay?

(I'm not telling which one it is )

Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :

I think from your posts we can infer which one, mister.

Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :

But non-serial casual is okay, too. And can also help.

-pH

Posted by Emperor Palpatine (Member # 3544) on :

I applaud this derailment.

Artful.

Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :

*pats Palpatine* Dude, you really do remind me of a prune in a bath towel...how did you get to be Emperor, again?

Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :

Lol

Posted by Emperor Palpatine (Member # 3544) on :

I think it had to do with killing the Jedi. And political crimes. I think. I need my ginko biloba.

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

quote:
I applaud this derailment.

Thank you.

quote:
But non-serial casual is okay, too. And can also help.

See, I tried that. There was weirdness. I don't regret it, but I don't think it's for me.

Posted by Pixie (Member # 4043) on :

"Of course, I just like to hold hands."
::sighs:: Where are the guys like that in high school? ::mutters something about them being too busy feeling-up their girlfriends::

Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :

Pixie- you'd be surprised.

Posted by Pixie (Member # 4043) on :

I know guys like that are out there in high school, it's just hard to find, that's all. ::shrugs:: Eh, such is life.

Posted by Maethoriell (Member # 3805) on :

quote:
I like to just hold hands.

..yeah me too but then your hands get sweaty..lol..

I've been too observant, lately. I've a theory that the weirder a boy is the sweeter they are in romance. The more of a jock/prep they are the more they are dating for popularity and things 'after' that. Those 'inexperienced' are so much fun to date as compared to those that 'know the secrets'. By now, I'm used to being a 'first' to some..lol..

Twinky, I'd know alot of ppl who'd love to meet you.

I also know people who abuse the word 'relationships' and 'love'...Too many people actually..

Posted by Centurion (Member # 3956) on :

It took me a while, but I finally figured out the difference between lust and love.

I did a lot of playing, and I do mean a lot of playing, before I settled down. I did extra playing for those who went into relationships early.

I've no regrets about any of the playing, but it pales in time and I find myself wanting more. As I'm not one to settle, it gets a little tougher. No big deal, but she has to be something special if she wants me to kiss her or even desire to hold her hand.

Posted by Maethoriell (Member # 3805) on :

quote:
I've no regrets about any of the playing

WTH??..

quote:
No big deal, but she has to be something special if she wants me to kiss her or even desire to hold her hand

..mhmmm..yea..so you have to be 'turned on' just to show her affection?

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

I don't think I'd make a very good player.

It took me a lot of soul-searching to sort out lust, infatuation, and love. But it was definitely worth it.

Thanks, Maeth. Unfortunately, I don't know any of them.

Edit:

Why should Cent have any regrets?

[This message has been edited by twinky (edited October 27, 2002).]

Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :

Mae's theory about the "weirder" types has more than a little truth to it.

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

I'm reminded of an article I once read titled "Why Geeks Make the Best Lovers."

Posted by Human (Member # 2985) on :

I just want to give this whole thread one thing: *GRR*

Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :

I make a horrible malicious player..I can't lie to people, and I don't like to hurt feelings. Actually, I consider myself one of the abnormally considerate of the player sort. Then again, I'm also becoming more and more motivated by _reactions_...

Yeah, but the "weird" types also have more of a tendency to be the whiny, annoying puppy dogs always tagging along at your heels. Not to say I don't like 'em.... They're just more fragile.

-pH

Posted by Tammy (Member # 4119) on :

My boyfriend is definitely the wierd, geeky type. I wouldn't have him any other way.

*ssshhhhh don't tell him that though, he thinks he's the hot, lady killer, playa type*

edited to add that wierd & geeky can most definitely be cute and lovable...

[This message has been edited by Tammy (edited October 27, 2002).]

Posted by Maethoriell (Member # 3805) on :

Tammy that was mean!! haha..

Posted by Centurion (Member # 3956) on :

"So, I have to be turned on..."

Of course, Mae. And she has to be special. If she's the right one, she'll turn me on just by entering the room.

Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :

Bumpit! [Cool]