Swift feet over hills Soft mud squelching underfoot Halflings make good meals.
Posted by Toretha (Member # 2233) on :
ROLF!!!!!
Darn you! now everyone in the bloody library's looking at me!
*giggles* uruk haiku
Posted by ae (Member # 3291) on :
Posted by Diosmel Duda (Member # 2180) on :
*gives ae a thousand gold stars for starting this thread*
Shagrat swings his sword another head falls in mud blood sprays on my wrist
[This message has been edited by Diosmel Duda (edited January 08, 2003).]
Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
Fun!
Many marching feet Created by Saruman They destroy all life.
Posted by ae (Member # 3291) on :
No, no! It's a joke, see?
Assembly at Isengard
Forest of black steel Thund'rous voice from balcony Saruman looks gay.
Seige
Countless pounding feet Walls of grey stone are no shield Forward Uruk-SQUISH.
[This message has been edited by ae (edited January 08, 2003).]
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
White hand on forehead pretty good insurance plan two weeks off a year
Posted by ae (Member # 3291) on :
White hand looks quite lame: Occupational hazard! I applaud your joke.
[This message has been edited by ae (edited January 08, 2003).]
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Made from orc and man Goblin blood is in there too Evil biotech!
Posted by ae (Member # 3291) on :
Reading Bob's post, eh! Act of breeding mentioned there... Not a happy thought.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
We fear no day light White Hand is no Onanism We are Urukai
Goblins are our slaves Sauron breeds none who can touch us We are Urukai
Helms Deep, not that deep We can throw your dwarves back to you We are Urukai
One thing to make clear! White Hand is no onanism We get no respect.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
We look death in face Men run from our fell glance, but ugh! Can't stand orc-wives!
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
We slash the big trees Entertaining it is, until We are Ent-(err)-maimed.
Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
All Uruk-Haikus great I especally like Dan's About the White Hand
Posted by ae (Member # 3291) on :
I echo that thought Except for one thing: first three Stanzas are not needed.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
Saruman does not include dental care in our plan of insurance.
Posted by Nato (Member # 1448) on :
"Aragorn" Stubble on his face He chops us up with a sword It's long and pointy
"Legolas" Uruk-hai look ugly Not like dreamboat Legolas He's one real hot elf
Sunburned Uruk-Hai They didn't put on sunblock besides the white hand.
[This message has been edited by Nato (edited January 08, 2003).]
Posted by Toretha (Member # 2233) on :
*laughs more*
The librarian caught me on Hatrack because of this thread Wow, Dan, that was great!
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
We are the fighting Uruk-Hai! Twenty of us Lose to just one guy.
I left my arm in Amon Hen. I would like to Have it back again.
Got my head cut off By Aragorn. Told him it Was just a flesh wound.
We chopped down trees. Some Environmentalists came, Stomped us flat. Darn Ents!
Let’s play hide-and-seek. Where are you, little halflings? Aha! We caught you!
We are strong and brave. Look, little guys throwing rocks! They have knocked us out.
Over the river And through the woods to find some Hobbit with a ring.
Ten thousand foot-pounds That is the work needed to Climb the Deeping Wall.
White hand, flaming eye We work for guys with body Parts as their mascots.
Posted by Toretha (Member # 2233) on :
ROFL!!!
sorry! TYPO
[This message has been edited by Toretha (edited January 10, 2003).]
Posted by Taberah (Member # 4014) on :
It's all kill, kill, kill. I know it is my purpose. But my dream job: macrame.
The One Ring so pretty But I hope it doesn't clash with My finger bone necklace.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
ROLF? Rolling on Laughing Floor? Or were you actually calling for some Swedish guy?
[This message has been edited by TomDavidson (edited January 10, 2003).]
Posted by Vána (Member # 3262) on :
Shigosei, you have an amazing talent! Posted by Rolf Singer (Member # 3972) on :
So seriously were you Rolling on the Laughing Floor or were you after me???
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
And as a sequel to my last haiku:
An alliance ‘twixt Orthanc and Barad-dur: Eye- Hand coordination?
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
Whee, this is fun!
Saruman the White Is looking rather dingy. Must be all the smoke.
I carry the torch! Olympians have more fun They do not blow up.
We are the Uruks. You will be hacked to pieces. Resistance: futile.
Will Rohan survive? Quoth the Uruk, “Nevermore.” “No dawn comes for men.”
We are the stealthy Uruk-Hai. Our footsteps can Be heard far and wide.
Saruman said we Would taste man-flesh; all we got Were lousy halflings.
What kind of weapon Is this L-shaped iron thing? Surely not a sword!
My face, only a Mother could love. Sadly I Don’t have a mother.
Our armor is strong! Then why do elves kill us with One arrow? Cheat codes!
(From Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli’s point of view)
Rohirrim killed orcs, All we got was this lousy Orc head on a stick.
Posted by Chuckles (Member # 2865) on :
I love this thread! I look forward to finding a moment when my brain is sharp so that I can compose something!
Take care -Justin-
Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
Shigosei, you're a genius!!!!
I always wanted to have another hand but not on my forehead!
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
Saruman's white hand Is upon our ugly heads We are so unique.
Ten thousand of us Cannot beat three hundred men. Are we good or what?
[Edit: Added second verse]
My first post!
[This message has been edited by Mr.Funny (edited January 11, 2003).]
Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
Hello Mr. Fun Welcoming you at Hatrack Is a true pleasure.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
Sauruman "the White" shrouded now in rainbow hue commands his legions
Aloft in Orthanc white hand grasping greedily the shadow spreads far
Breeding new evil commanding his Uruk-hai mighty fighters fierce.
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
I am powerful. Running into a small drain Makes the wall go boom.
Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
Silly elf on shield Shoots us while sliding down stairs Why will he not die?
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
Stupid little dwarf Violently hewing with axe Why do short guys win?
Spilling off the bridge How come they get the horses? Life is just not fair
Legalos is cheap He never, ever misses Turn off aimbot, please
Gandalf is too bright Making us all look away Ouch, he whacked my head!
Orcish warriors Waxing poetic is bad Ai! Now my ears hurt
Posted by MoonRabbit (Member # 3652) on :
Modified orcs born from hastily constructed Axlotyl tanks
"Because someone decided not to show the Goblin men holding the camcorder in the delivery room."
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
Being an orc stinks We never get a shower Ugh... my nose it burns
The diaries of an orc:
Journal Entry One: We started to march away To Helm's Deep I'm told
Journal Entry Two: Passed through the Gap of Rohan Bought some better clothes
Journal Entry Three: We arrived at Deeping Wall Must prepare for fight
Journal Entry Four: The battle failed terribly Curse the evil horse!
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
We are NON-fighting Uruk-Hai! All we're saying Is give peace a chance.
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
Democratic Orcs We will decide who rules us Let's oust Sarumon
Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
Urukai must fight on thread cannot slip off page, more please Shi and Fun -bump-
Posted by ae (Member # 3291) on :
I think Uruk-Hai Have been played out at this point Try some other ones.
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
Uruks like this thread We must never let it fail Haikus are much fun
Posted by EnderSHR (Member # 4224) on :
"Ode to Legolas"
I wish the girls liked Me as much as Legolas Man, what a player.
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
We are the sneaky Uruks! Only oliphaunts Make more of a trail.
I am Saruman The Wise. I will put Gandalf Where he can escape.
Posted by Chris Kidd (Member # 2646) on :
This was funny
angelo Member posted January 12, 2003 08:31 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This is the funniest thing I've read so far... Sample:
HELM'S DEEP
LEGOLAS: This is going to be most unpleasant. Hundreds of people will die.
ARAGORN: Thank you, Captain Obvious.
LEGOLAS: You're just jealous because I'm pretty.
ARAGORN: You're just jealous because I'm going to be king.
LEGOLAS: You can bite my @ss.
ARAGORN: Hey, blow me.
(Ten minutes later)
LEGOLAS: I didn't mean that.
ARAGORN: It's okay. Me neither.
LEGOLAS: Kiss and make up?
ARAGORN: How about I squeeze your shoulder in a very special way?
ITHILIEN
SAM seasons their rabbit stew as GOLLUM watches.
GOLLUM: Ssstupid fat hobbit! Using sage in stew like thisss!
SAM: What's your problem? Sage brings out the flavor.
GOLLUM: Smeagol would use nice mix of rosemary and lavender, yess, precious.
FRODO: Hey, you guys? Something's out there in the forest.
SAM: Rosemary? Hm, maybe. But you know what WOULD be good with this, is a basic bechamel sauce with some dill.
GOLLUM: Sssimple hobbit; anyone makesss bechamel. Vichyssoise much tastier and more difficult; yes...
FRODO: Hello? Guys? Seriously, someone's coming.
SAM: Now, if you only found us some eggs, I could make crepes, wrap up the meat, drizzle the juices over it with a little bit of blackcurrant chutney...
FRODO: Hey, you guys, look! It's Martha Stewart!
GOLLUM: Where?
SAM: Where?
FRODO: Now that I have your attention, may I point out the Oliphaunt that's about to step on us?
FARAMIR: Look! Strange little men! Let's take them home.
FARAMIR blindfolds SAM and FRODO and hauls them away.
For more idiotically funny things go here and laugh your butt off.
[This message has been edited by angelo (edited January 12, 2003).]
Posted by JaneX (Member # 2026) on :
*falls off chair*
These haikus are great. I especially like this one:
quote:An alliance ‘twixt Orthanc and Barad-dur: Eye- Hand coordination?
Eye-hand coordination...hehe.
~Jane~
Posted by Toretha (Member # 2233) on :
Chris-go where????
Posted by Leonide (Member # 4157) on :
I was wondering the same thing!
Posted by narrativium (Member # 3230) on :
I am alergic To the paint of the white hand Now I have a rash.
Posted by Leonide (Member # 4157) on :
oh I'm a good Orc and I'm okay -- I like to dress in women's clothes.
[This message has been edited by Leonide (edited January 12, 2003).]
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
Silly Leonide Cross-dressing is not the thing Back to Orc armor
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
Amon Hen
I fight that ranger He swings his great mighty sword My head goes flying
Helm's Deep
Hah! Ten thousand Orcs Beating weapons on ground. Thwup! An arrow kills me
Posted by ae (Member # 3291) on :
Believe it or not Don't much like LotR But this pads my posts.
Posted by ae (Member # 3291) on :
Yes indeed it does! At last count, in fact, I had Twenty-eight to go.
(To 1K, of course. Oh, and I apologise For the OT posts.)
(Not to mention that Multi-stanza haiku are Spawn of the devil.)
In penitence I Scribble down a piece of crap On LotR:
Haldir
Poncy elven twit Short attention span means you'll Likely die to orcs.
Posted by Leonide (Member # 4157) on :
Orcs defeated now Should we go look for jobs as ugly Keystone Cops?
The Warg is A treacherous steed Dumps, devours Uruk-Hai
Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
silly people who let this thread slip so far down don't let it die *bump*
I can't believe that all we wear is brown and grey - no fashion sense
Posted by Steel (Member # 3342) on :
I know this isn't haiku, or mine, but I'll compensate for that.
"Gandalf, Gandalf! Take the ring! I am too small to carry this thing!"
"I can not, will not hold the One. You have a slim chance, but I have none. I will not take it on a boat, I will not take it across a moat. I cannot take it under Moria, that's one thing I can't do for ya. I would not bring it into Mordor, I would not make it to the border."
-excerpt from Dr. Suess's FOTR.
And now my Uruk-Haiku:
We can't stop horses? Even when we have long pikes? They have strong magic.
The blinding light comes! Damn, I can't see their soldiers! Stupid Rohan Men.
I like to eat things! But they say we have no food... Let's eat the halflings!
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
Poetic Uruks Have great imagination See the great posting?
Becoming knocked out Is just a stone's throw away We hate the halflings
Sarumon is wise He sends us off to our doom We thank him for that
How come no looting? We enjoy that part the best Sarumon is mean
Run across Rohan Carrying our heavy load Hobbits eat too much
Here come the riders Don't let our captives escape! Die, Eomer, Die!
Ouch we have been killed And the hobbits have escaped We have failed badly
Why must we fight on? Why can we not stay at home And make poetry
We are strong Orcs How come we still can be killed With just one arrow?
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
We are the fighting Uruk-High. Drugs can give you A euphoric trip
[This message has been edited by Mr.Funny (edited January 13, 2003).]
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
One of the nice things About coming back to life: It straightens your hair.
Posted by ae (Member # 3291) on :
Who is "Sarumon"? A spelling error merely? Or Japanese toy?
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
I felt once, as you, God's white hand on my face. At Rohan, he left
Me alone. Burning, Hobbitless, I could not pray To my forsaker.
Posted by sylvrdragon (Member # 3332) on :
Gandalf should have done Some bigger, better, magic Like in The Hobbit
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
Chainmesh underwear. Rusty, uncomfortable. Bright side: no skid marks.
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
The thread is slipping Must bump it up to the top Ahh, that is better
I am Saruman I created the Uruks They do what I say
If I say to run They run around very fast It is fun to watch
If I tell them to Attack Rohan, they do it I give the orders
If I say, "Give me Cheese," they run off in search of Some Cheez-itz crackers
They follow my wish My Uruks are so faithful And they are cheap too
Posted by ae (Member # 3291) on :
Sorry to nit-pick But multi-stanza haiku Is not true haiku.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
I wrote two verses, Not one. Unmarried, they are Though placed together.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
how many syllables per haiku line?
(for a correct haiku)
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
Mordor orcs can't count. Uruk-Hai are true poets. White hand holds a pen.
Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
BannaOj, for it to be right - needs five, seven, five, syllables /line
In theroy, unlike these, the phrases are not broken - right is very hard
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
Saruman makes Orcs Sending them to far corners They do his bidding
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
We are the sledding Uruk-Hai. Many mortals Wish they could keep up
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
This thread should be bumped.
TUB!
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
I think I had a little too much fun in this thread... Posted by Caleb Varns (Member # 946) on :
What is TUB?
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
Just a leg? Puh-lease? We never have any fun. Pull my finger, man...
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
TUB = Thumbs Up Bump...
Posted by eslaine (Member # 5433) on :
Makup runs in New Guinea heat --Peter Jackson! Curse you foul Hobbit!
[ July 22, 2003, 03:51 PM: Message edited by: eslaine ]
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Kicked by woody Ent, Drowned by raging, savage flood, By mud I birth, die.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
I hadn't seen this thread the first time - it is the funniest thing I've ever read.
No. Seriously. Ever.
Posted by policyvote (Member # 3044) on :
Patience
three days hard marching six hours savage fighting man I have to pee
Peace policy
Posted by Gwynaria (Member # 5365) on :
My orc diary: cracked seven mirrors today, I'm a Uruk hunk
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
::laughs at AR and Gwyn::
Posted by Eaquae Legit (Member # 3063) on :
Orcs and goblin men? A better mix I have seen. Breeding is not pretty.
Lurtz is not nice guy. Anduin is looking good. Splash! Where did he go?
Posted by Alucard... (Member # 4924) on :
FOR SALE: Two Towers Immediate Vacancy As is. No refunds
Posted by Alucard... (Member # 4924) on :
Feasting on the spoils Halfling flesh still gives me gas. Could you pass the floss?
[ July 22, 2003, 10:42 PM: Message edited by: Alucard... ]
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
Bump!
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
Sauron's Complaint
Saruman, you fool! Can you not grow troops that win? Whose side are you on?
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
Halflings near the gate. One of them has my prized Ring. E-mail server down.
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
Axes go chop-chop. EPA nowhere in sight. Hey! That tree is mov....
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
Literal my brain, "Barren of poetry", yet Haiku at will. Huh?
[ August 27, 2003, 06:14 PM: Message edited by: Maccabeus ]
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
Back to the subject of Sauron...
My eye burns bright red. Search for sneaky hobbits--pause. Wow! Clear-Eyes does work!
Posted by Ryan Hart (Member # 5513) on :
The Deep
Helm's horn in the deep Sounded by dwarf hero Gandalf saves the day
Narsil
Narsil Forged Anew Weilded by king of Gondor Flee Evil for thy Life!
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
Angmar the Witch-King Greatest of sorcerors he But blind as a bat.
Under Angmar's nose Hiding hobbits snicker and then run far away.
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
No, William H. Gates. I alone am the Dark Lord. The throne is not yours.
[ August 27, 2003, 07:03 PM: Message edited by: Maccabeus ]
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
"In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil..." Sam, How does that chant go?
[ August 27, 2003, 07:23 PM: Message edited by: Maccabeus ]
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
NOOO! My palantir! The Remote Procedure Call? What service is that?
Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
Silly hobbits, two Waving frantically at us I deserve a raise.
Posted by Fishtail (Member # 3900) on :
Under Isengard Smoldering birthplace of ours The sad truth: we stink
Posted by Nato (Member # 1448) on :
quote:Maccabeus decided to enlighten us with: NOOO! My palantir! The Remote Procedure Call? What service is that?
Excellent.
I scream and yell, "Install Linux, problem solved." No more orb crashes.
Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
I hold a hobbit Tee-hee their feet are furry Must keep mind on job.
Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
Must bump this thread up It is extremely funny You will die laughing
Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
I must say, Shigosei, you are now my favorite poet. Seriously. Your haikus are great. Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
Elrond arcs a brow. "Fascinating," he tells me. Hold on...wrong movie.
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
Return of the King Is coming out very soon More Uruk-Hai dead
Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
To get the precious We must eat Frodo's finger Next time must add salt
Posted by ana kata (Member # 5666) on :
Shigosei is definitely a genius at Uruk-Haiku! My favorite was hand-eye coordination too! <laughs>
Posted by ana kata (Member # 5666) on :
Yelling and fighting No mental stimulation But I like fighting
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
We is th' fitin' Olog-Hai. We is to smart t' rite dum high-ku.
[ October 12, 2003, 07:18 AM: Message edited by: Maccabeus ]
Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
Gollum:
Stupid Hobbitses Don't know how to cook rabbit Master is my friend
Posted by Rhaegar The Fool (Member # 5811) on :
We are big and strong The big dudes kill us all Some old dude ruined my 20/20
[ October 14, 2003, 07:53 PM: Message edited by: Rhaegar The Fool ]
Posted by Saruman (Member # 2275) on :
My beautiful orcs, Go forth and destroy all men! It's great to be me.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
I be a big tree. Sauramon abused my kin. Now I kick his Ash.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
I be big mean orc. I am never Beautiful. Saruman just weird.
Posted by Saruman (Member # 2275) on :
Sauron called me up: "Wanna destroy all humans?" Hey, sounds good to me
Posted by Saruman (Member # 2275) on :
Grima slithers home Laid off from previous job Hard to find good help
Posted by Rhaegar The Fool (Member # 5811) on :
Big stone wall We use pebbles and flaming stick To make it fall
Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
Rhaegar, I don't know if you picked up the pattern, but haikus have 5 sylabols (sp?) in the first line, 7 in the second, and 5 in the third.
Posted by Rhaegar The Fool (Member # 5811) on :
Whoops Forgot about my english class Thankis for the tip there lass.
Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
No problem.
Fighting war so long Hey! Dumb elf chopped my head off Anyone got tape?
Posted by Rhaegar The Fool (Member # 5811) on :
There is a glowing elf He jumps all pretty like on horsie He shoots me with bow
Posted by Rhaegar The Fool (Member # 5811) on :
A depresent blonde A sharp and dangerous blade This will not be good
I pity the orcsies
-Rhaegar
Posted by Rhaegar The Fool (Member # 5811) on :
Somebody post. God. I cant maintain this myself.
-Rhaegar The Fool
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
It takes many hours to come up with good poems and I lack the time.
Sorry...
[ October 15, 2003, 06:45 PM: Message edited by: Maccabeus ]
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Isenguard! Written On my face with a white hand, Your dreams of glory.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
It must be repeated
quote:One thing to make clear! White Hand is no onanism We get no respect.
Hack, Slash, Chop, Fillet Oruk Hai shall win the day This what my boss say.
Posted by Saruman (Member # 2275) on :
Ents attack my home What'd I ever do to them? (Besides killing trees)
Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
Lurtz shoots arrows the Size of tree trunks, still takes 9 To kill Boromir
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
Now that ROTK is out...
This is our tactic At the fields of Pelennor: Try to get a head.
It is quite unfair To make us fight the dead ones. They are hard to kill!
[ December 26, 2003, 03:05 AM: Message edited by: Shigosei ]
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
Second-hand costumes I get to wear the Sloth mask Orcs, Goonies...unite!
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
Damn the Haradrim Let us ride the oliphants Horseshoes pound my face.
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
The ram is heavy Good thing we brought our cave trolls Knock three times, big guys.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
Stealing our thunder, Oliphants and mean dead guys Make us look wussy.
Posted by Princess Leah (Member # 6026) on :
GIMLI SAYS
For three days running No food: Hungry dwarves will eat Spiced leaves: "Ach! Orc blood!"
I do not wish to Seem less manly than the elf MY beard is bigger!
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Uruk Haiku Bump lest all be lost for good We shall not forget
[ March 15, 2004, 02:30 PM: Message edited by: BannaOj ]
Posted by Vána (Member # 3262) on :
Uruk-Haiku page - I see that you have been bumped! It is but a tease.
AJ, how could you! I anticipate more fun But see only "*bump*"
No new haiku here! I guess it is up to me to amuse myself.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
When evil Eye is gone, What happened to peaceful Orc? Have wife in Mordor?
[ March 15, 2004, 02:36 PM: Message edited by: BannaOj ]
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
If peace in Middle Earth Could Orc become beautiful? Replace Elves that left?
[ March 15, 2004, 02:39 PM: Message edited by: BannaOj ]
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
My own haiku is wistfully depressing me Could Orcs turn to good?
AJ
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
For Sale in Mordor One black tower: somewhat us'd Who will inhabit but Orcs?
Orcs could plant garden Grow green around Black tower Vast soil improvement
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Tower twined with Vines Now green, was formerly black Guess where Entwives were?
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Was trying to amuse Guess Vana quit reading Was fun regardless
Posted by Telperion the Silver (Member # 6074) on :
These are great! LOL I'll think something up....
Posted by Vána (Member # 3262) on :
I didn't stop reading! Just got a little caught up in work (me working? amazing!) and hadn't gotten back here yet.
Thanks, AJ! You're great. Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Volcanic Dirt Baradur great location The new Hawaii?
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
If Sauron had looked He could have found great rates on hobbit insurance
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Condominiums For Sale, Build to your desires Call Mordor Remax
Gondor survived war Sauron could not destroy her Vacationers will.
Fanghorn Is Restless Orcan Condos need timber Lumber Lobby Plots
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
these are too too funny
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Inland Sea Nurnan Special Deal to Utahans Land is Very Cheap
(that one is going to get me in trouble, isn't it?)
[ March 15, 2004, 04:36 PM: Message edited by: BannaOj ]
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
I begin to think major dental surgery is the only way.
Posted by Mabus (Member # 6320) on :
(Dang it, I can't get a good haiku together about the White Tree and the Endangered Species Act. Anyone else want to try?)
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
White tree is dying: Another thing to wipe off the "Endangered" list.
'species act' doesn't fit! I guess that's where you had problems.
[ March 15, 2004, 07:16 PM: Message edited by: Teshi ]
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
ON Sam and Frodo, Merry and Pippen
Pretty young hobbits But they were all middle aged In Tolkien's great book
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
Funnily enough that's because they axed some years right after Bilbo left.
(but you probably know that )
Posted by Unmaker (Member # 1641) on :
Wyrm of the world sleeps One Tree quiescent trembles: White gold extinction.
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
Return of the King There's fifty extra minutes On October 1st!
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
Hatrack's been missing Tolkein threads on the front page- On disc or big screen?
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
I think that we are really really pathetic but, oops! I don't care.
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
I count ev'ryone's syllables on my fingers just to be anal.
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
counting syllables shows a lack of faith and trust but I do it too.
EDIT:
I have just noticed my dental haiku up top. what was I thinking?
[ September 29, 2004, 07:06 PM: Message edited by: Teshi ]
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
Uruk note to self: do not stand by big black gate when Sauron's house falls.
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
I hear weird noises My house may be settling... Or there's mice in walls.
Posted by Eaquae Legit (Member # 3063) on :
This may sound kind of silly, but I thought it was worth asking.
Would anyone mind if I borrowed a couple of these? My student newsletter is in dire need of filler (mid-term season).
Thanks. Posted by Jess N (Member # 6744) on :
I should write my draft Instead I am posting here And wasting my time
Haiku was never my strong point.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Take mine if you wish They are weak and lack polish Like Bilbo Baggins
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
Me, I do not mind But I posted this because Haiku's addictive.
EDIT: Two tiny Uruk Ignoring the call to arms; They must be Hobbits
[ November 15, 2004, 10:12 PM: Message edited by: Teshi ]
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
December is dark The Winter that does not end No Tolkien movies.
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
But Oh Dan_Raven We can pass those cold evenings With the DVD.
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
According to this Episode I -- The Hobbit Coming this Christmas!
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Is the DVD EE of RotK Already out then?
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
patience tatiana not until it's december will we enjoy it
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
Extended version Palantir, more Saruman The Mouth of Sauron!
Houses of Healing, Eowyn and Faramir Oh how I love it!
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
You know I feel glad Whenever I see this thread On Hatrack's first page.
...
My heart is weeping Eowyn and Faramir Fall deeply in love.
(EDIT:
Oops I repeated The Haiku above my own I apologise.)
[ January 13, 2005, 08:42 PM: Message edited by: Teshi ]
Posted by mothertree (Member # 4999) on :
:bump:
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
Mothertree is mad! Now I feel obliged to post In the wintertime
[ January 20, 2005, 05:29 PM: Message edited by: Teshi ]
Posted by unicornwhisperer (Member # 294) on :
This is an awesome thread How come I didn't see it 2 years ago?
Extended edition tells me That the witch king and the leading orc Are the same people wo is me. I tried anyway...
[ January 20, 2005, 06:10 PM: Message edited by: unicornwhisperer ]
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
A lesson to learn Haikus are five, seven, five Syllables in length
Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
Right, Mr Funny Haiku form is important Otherwise it fails
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
Many posters though Prefer a stricter form of haiku Namely with seasons.
Uruk Haiku:
Sometimes I wonder: Why do we never order Vegetarian?
Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
Vegetarian No good. Animal better. Is much tastier.
Posted by eslaine (Member # 5433) on :
Bumping would be preferable to bumping into Saruman's orcs.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Time, like the Rohan Swiftly flow through our short lives Leaving but horse dung.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
I adore this thread and I'm glad someone bumped it Thanks a lot Elaine. Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
One of my all time Favorite threads on hatrack Shigosei so pwns!
Posted by JemmyGrove (Member # 6707) on :
Bump.
Legendary Uruk children:
We don't want to go To school today but the lash is too persuasive.
Uruk children like The Legendary Ent-Wives Have gone MIA.
This thread so deserves Yet another appearance On the front pages. Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
I have found the Ring. It is secret decoder. The crackerjack prize.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
I love how this thread is full of movie longing and its share of angst.
It strikes me funny that many of our poems are about the films.
I also think it's hilarious that I am posting in haiku.
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
A year is too long. I will bump this thread right now. Return to the front!
Hobbits are coming! New movie means more haikus. Go Peter Jackson.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Ruined eyes run red Mouth gapes, nose runs as I watch All three DVDs
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
Sorry no uruks in Mt Gundabad, must be Dragon haiku now.
Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
I had forgotten how much I love uruk-haiku. Thank you for bumping.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
You call the dragon And poetic Dragon flies forth But he is no Smaug
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
My troll friends, so odd We argue all night. All night? The sun! No! I'm cold.
Hungover from wine Not Drinking it. Being it. The barrel ride sucks.
Bag end is all mine The wealth, the food, at last, mine. Who comes down the road?
Wow, Dan, that was great!
Or were you actually calling for some Swedish guy?![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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My favorite was hand-eye coordination too! <laughs>
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