After playing around with the forum I came across this thread, originally started by Patrick. Unfortunately, I cannot bump it. So, I will restart it.
First person says the good.
Next person follows giving the good a twist that makes it bad.
After that, someone else posts something that makes it even worse.
Perhaps some of you will remember this thread and know what the heck I'm talking about.
The Good: You just got your pay check.
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
Which was stapled to a pink-slip.
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
That was showing under your skirt.
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
Ha ha.
The good: you find a fresh box of ice cream
Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
The Bad: Its superman ice cream.
Posted by jRc (Member # 1335) on :
Bad: In your neighbor's dumpster.
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
so who restarts? did I shirk my responsibility being the 3rd line?
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
The good:
Bob called to invite you to his party.
Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
(its just whoever wants to restart it)
Posted by jRc (Member # 1335) on :
bad: Bob called.
Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
Yo Mama: Bob's been dead for 16 years.
Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
The Good: You came in second place.
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
To a deaf, dumb quadrapalegic...
Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
Yo Mama: In a singing competition.
(If you get beat, delete the post )
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
The good: Your thread rolls to 5 pages in 2 hours
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
Bad: Because it morphed into a last post thread.
Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
Yo Mama: Then slowly derailled itself into a conversation about celia.
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
Good: You hooked up with a hot chick.
Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
The Bad: Actually, you hooked up with a Hooker.
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
Who turned out to be your long-lost sister.
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
Worse: It was Shatner not Locklear.
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
Good: You just won a grand prize.
Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
The Bad: Of the "Who wants to shovel my dogs poop?" contest.
[ July 01, 2003, 02:35 AM: Message edited by: Anti-Chris ]
Posted by FlyingCow (Member # 2150) on :
But you have no shovel and have to use your hands.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Yo mama: Of the popular "What Will You Eat for $10?" television gameshow.
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the good: You arrived home safely from your travels.
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
the bad: "home" is provo, UT
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
worse: It's the post-apocalypse.
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the good: Your name isn't Mudd.
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
the bad: it's manure.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Worse: It's not horse manure.
Hobbes Posted by Amy Wong (Member # 5345) on :
the good: your computer is purring like a kitten
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
The bad: you can't find your kitten.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
Worse: You can't find your mouse.
Posted by Amy Wong (Member # 5345) on :
(true) the good:It's finally rained and cooled off
Posted by Pixie (Member # 4043) on :
Bad: Your basement is now flooded.
Posted by Amy Wong (Member # 5345) on :
the worst:that's where you hid your stash.
Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
good: someone sent you a birthday card!
Posted by Amy Wong (Member # 5345) on :
the bad : it's from a complete stranger
(wince) good one, FC
[ July 01, 2003, 12:48 PM: Message edited by: Amy Wong ]
Posted by FlyingCow (Member # 2150) on :
the worst: ...and it's written on a chinese food menu crammed under your door.
Posted by Leonide (Member # 4157) on :
the good: you've just received an Academy Award
Posted by Fitz (Member # 4803) on :
the bad: on the way to the stage to pick up your award, you tripped and fell while millions of people were watching.
Posted by Amy Wong (Member # 5345) on :
the worst:then the MC says there's been a mix-up and gives the award to someone else.
[ July 01, 2003, 12:50 PM: Message edited by: Amy Wong ]
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
Good: You have a three-day weekend.
Posted by Ayelar (Member # 183) on :
The Bad: Because you're attending a management "retreat".
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Yo Mama: At the psych ward.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Good: You’ve just won Wimbledon.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The Bad: You won the Women's championship, and you are really a man.
[ July 01, 2003, 03:48 PM: Message edited by: Dan_raven ]
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
Bad: They're 'special' brownies.
[ July 01, 2003, 03:46 PM: Message edited by: sarcasticmuppet ]
Posted by Amy Wong (Member # 5345) on :
the worst: you are outed at the award ceremony
[ July 01, 2003, 05:13 PM: Message edited by: Amy Wong ]
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
Good: You start a thread and goes two pages in the first hour.
Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
The Bad: Nobody even addresses what you said except for 2 people.
Posted by the Professor (Member # 5319) on :
the worst: and they're both your aliases
Posted by strawberrygirl (Member # 5030) on :
Good: You've been forgiven by your best friend for running over her dog.
Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
The Bad: ...as long as you replace the dog.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
Yo Mamma: The dog was a special, rare breed that you discover can only be reasonably obtained from your insane ex-girlfriend, who took up dog breeding as a different way to channel the energy she had previously been using to stalk you.
Posted by the Professor (Member # 5319) on :
LOL Jen
the good :dinner's ready!
Posted by Rahl22 (Member # 1376) on :
bad: Mom was friend's with Dahmer.
[ July 01, 2003, 08:17 PM: Message edited by: Rahl22 ]
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
YO Mama: Mom is dinner.
Posted by the Professor (Member # 5319) on :
good:you meet a nice girl for a change
[ July 01, 2003, 08:50 PM: Message edited by: the Professor ]
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
the bad: Who was born a man.
Posted by Danzig (Member # 4704) on :
Yo Mama: In prison.
Posted by Human (Member # 2985) on :
Bad: The puppy is permanently incontinent.
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
You are Greek Orthodox and didn't open the presents for 13 more days
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
The good: your 27 year old sister is engaged
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
Bad: To a 13-year-old boy.
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
yo mama: who just shipped out for battle school.
Posted by Human (Member # 2985) on :
Good: You just got the lead in a big movie!
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
BAD: it's strictly an animated feature
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
Actually, you're the voice of the pool boy in an anime porn.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
Yo Mama: They want you to do a nude screen test with the guy who is going to be the voice for Bruno the Gay Green Pickle.
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
GOOD: It's finally warm enough to use your swimming pool.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
Bad: You haven't cleaned the pool since last time it was warm enough to use it.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
worst: and now the mutant frogs are invading your basement
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
good: your test scores just arrived!
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
bad:for the mailman's exam
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
obnoxious insert:
There's no "yo mama" aspect to this game. Shouldn't this be called something like "the good, the bad, and the ugly"?
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the ugly: You scored so well, the postmaster general is paying you a rare personal visit.
[ July 01, 2003, 11:42 PM: Message edited by: filetted ]
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
The Good: You got a copy of your favorite book before the release date.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
bad: your brother sold it before you woke up
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
ugly: He sold it to Bob.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
Good: You finally figured out how Matrix III ends.
to filleted: Yo Mama is ugly, that's why the ugly part is called 'Yo Mama'. Get it?
[ July 02, 2003, 12:20 AM: Message edited by: sarcasticmuppet ]
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the bad: Your grandkids had to explain it to you.
(SM: a yo mamma should never end with "get it"?)
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the ugly: Your grandkids explain it to you on a bus featuring a giant shoe while crossing the outback.
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the good: Yo mama won a beauty contest.
Posted by Feyd Baron (Member # 1407) on :
The Bad: A contest for men
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the ugly: yo poppa got runner's up.
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the good: You can count to 10 en francaise.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the bad:That's about all the francaise you remember from HS
Posted by Fitz (Member # 4803) on :
Yoyo Ma: You claimed on your resume that you could speak fluent French, and now your boss wants you to entertain business partners who only speak French.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
Good: Your kids have been great all day.
Posted by Human (Member # 2985) on :
Bad: You don't remember HAVING kids.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
Yo mama: Your wife does remember having those kids.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
good : Your kids are finally getting help from kindly souls in Jamiaca
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
the bad: Those souls have no living bodies
Posted by Danzig (Member # 4704) on :
Yo Mama: Now your children have no bodies either.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the good : you finally see Paris
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The Bad: Paris Illinois (trust me. This is bad)
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
Yo Mama: In the springtime. Where unlike Paris France, the air is either unseasonably cold (read: snow) or unseasonably hot (read: frying egg on sidewalk).
Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
The Good: You think you've found true love.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the bad: She's positive she hasn't
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
Darn you Morbo, how dare you type faster than myself.
[ July 02, 2003, 03:48 PM: Message edited by: Head Ditch Digger ]
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
The good: The dress you've been wanting the past few months just went on sale!
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the bad:you look like your mother in it
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The Worst: And the rest of the guys on your all male bowling team think it suits you too well.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
LOL the good:you are going to summer camp HDD: I can't type...4 finger hunt and peck
[ July 02, 2003, 04:09 PM: Message edited by: Morbo ]
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
the bad: it's a nudist camp.
Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
Yo Mama: Its not co-ed.
[ July 02, 2003, 04:16 PM: Message edited by: Anti-Chris ]
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Yo Mama II, and you just dropped the soap.
Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
The Good: There is an afterlife.
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
the bad: it is closer to Hell than Heaven.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the worst:and you're on deck
[ July 02, 2003, 04:22 PM: Message edited by: Morbo ]
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
the good: you win a 165 million dollar lottery.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
The bad: Since you're in the FBI's witness protection program, you're not allowed to claim it.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the worst:but your ex is willing to give it a shot
[ July 02, 2003, 06:21 PM: Message edited by: Morbo ]
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
Good: The new shoes you just bought on impulse are returnable.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
Bad: but only for store credit.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the worst: but the store is in its final bankruptcy sale
Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
The Good: Half of the time, you say something really deep and meaningful.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the bad: but only too yourself
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
Yo Mama: with whom you constantly disagree
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the good: your mailbox was free of junkmail.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
The Bad: Because the mailman is on strike.
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
Yo mama: because he's got a bad back from hauling all your hate mail around.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
LOL good one
the good:your sister emails you that she has wonderful news
(she just did)
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Bad: it concerns her boyfriend "Babyface Razziossi"
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
yo mama: he's now under the care of a lovely woman named Nurse Rachet.
[ July 03, 2003, 12:39 AM: Message edited by: filetted ]
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
good:you finally updated your computer
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Bad: with the newest innovations Bill Gates ripped off from Steve Jobs
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
The Good: It's your birthday!
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
The bad: No one remembered.
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
Your dog ate your birthday cake
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
Well at least it wasn't vice versa!
The Good: Your daughter has finally learned to ride a bike
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
She will have to leave the bike demo model at the bike store.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the worst: she's almost out of sight and goin' strong
[ July 03, 2003, 06:02 PM: Message edited by: Morbo ]
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
Good: You just lost 50 pounds of weight.
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
The bad: You only weighed 100 lbs.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Yo mama: and there's a brisk wind blowing today.
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
The good: You got a lifetime supply of gas.
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
The bad: It came naturally with the life-time supply of beans.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
And you're all out of matches.
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
The good: You never have to go to the dentist again. (can you tell I hate going to the dentist? )
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the bad: you have a mouth full of titanium
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the worst: the price for titanium has quintupled and every bounty hunter in town is gunning for you
[ July 03, 2003, 10:39 PM: Message edited by: Morbo ]
Posted by Diosmel Duda (Member # 2180) on :
good: You finally got a raise at work.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the bad:your wife is still packing up to go
[ July 03, 2003, 10:47 PM: Message edited by: Morbo ]
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
you mama: to Fiji with your supervisor.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the good :you're taking calculus and really getting it *good night, all*
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
The Bad: It's remedial, extra-help, summer school calculus.
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
you mama: and you've been copying from your neighbor.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Good: You just got a copy of the Boondock Saints on DVD.
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
the bad: You don't have a DVD player
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
yo mama: or a TV, stereo, bicycle, computer, or stamp collection. You've been robbed!
[ July 05, 2003, 07:09 PM: Message edited by: filetted ]
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the good: you're a rare breed.
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
the bad: your the last one of your kind.
Posted by Diosmel Duda (Member # 2180) on :
yo mama: because you accidentally killed them all off.
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the good: you found your way out of the maze.
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
the bad:It was the wrong exit.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the worst: Satan is beckoning you over
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the good: your time travel machine appears to be working.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the bad : but it could destroy the Universe
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
yo mama: What universe?
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the good: you narrowly avoided destroying the universe (the one you live in)
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the bad:the universe next door was not so lucky
[ July 05, 2003, 11:12 PM: Message edited by: Morbo ]
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
Yo Mama: And it is the universe everyone went to when they died.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
*snort* Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the good: the velvet's nearly off your new set of horns.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the bad: a taxidermist/hunter has been stalking you all day
[ July 05, 2003, 11:26 PM: Message edited by: Morbo ]
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
Yo Mama: He's wearing an irresistable musk.
[ July 06, 2003, 05:35 PM: Message edited by: sarcasticmuppet ]
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the good :the pool's finally open
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
the bad: you forgot your trunks
Posted by Wikkid (Member # 5364) on :
yo mamma:and you rember people don't like to swim with you anyways because you have lepercy.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the good :you hear the ice cream truck
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
bad: You can't find your wallet.
Posted by Feyd Baron (Member # 1407) on :
Ugly: The ice cream man stole it.
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
The Good: Finally, everything makes sense.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the bad : you're over 90
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
... miles per hour as you head over the cliff.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the good: you start your new job tomorrow
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the bad: your father-in-law hired you to work for him.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the worst: He's a demolitions contractor and your wife is missing
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the good: you finally found a pair of pants that fit.
Posted by Diosmel Duda (Member # 2180) on :
Bad: They're neon green spandex with purple polka dots.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
That you found in Yo Mama's closet
Posted by the Professor (Member # 5319) on :
the good :your father's coming by for a short visit
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
Bad: He's bringing his new girlfriend.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Worst: who happens to be your prom date.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
The Good: You got accepted to the Y.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Bad: as vollunter Janitor
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
Yo Mama: Nightshift volunteer janitor with a four-year fixed contract with no hope of escape.
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
The good: Your home appreciates $50,000 in one year.
Posted by Emperor Palpatine (Member # 3544) on :
the bad: it's a retirement home.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
in Provo.
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the good: your start-up company is finally folding.
Posted by Wikkid (Member # 5364) on :
Bad:Because of the earth quake the building is literaly folding in half
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
Yo Mama: And you realize that you have not paid any of your insurance...in fact, you haven't paid any bills for at least 5 months. Your last payroll bounced, and being a family company, you're related to most of the employees you can't possibly pay. And it's begun to rain.
(filetted, funny you should pick that as a Good -- I got news today that the startup company I work for, having limped along a miraculously long time now, was dropped from consideration by yet another round of potential investors. Right now, I would like nothing better than to get laid off and it seems likely I'll get my wish within the next month or so. So your Good really does sound good to me now. )
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
(jeniwren - i was looking for some humor regarding a real situation. after nearly a year of limping, they finally decided to shoot the horse. good luck to you! and me.)
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
The Good: You are incredibly happy.
Posted by Ophelia (Member # 653) on :
The bad: You are driving everyone around you insane, and they want to kill you.
Posted by Diosmel Duda (Member # 2180) on :
The ugly: They do.
Posted by Snarky (Member # 4406) on :
(and it's from today, not the past!)
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
The good: Scott Adams reads Hatrack!
Posted by Ophelia (Member # 653) on :
The bad: He doesn't credt Hatrack when he steals ideas.
Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
Yo Mama: Scott sues us for stealing *his* ideas.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the good:Scott sends the "cartoonist's mafia" to collect his royalties
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
The Bad: They're really cute and cuddly.
Posted by Sarcasm (Member # 4653) on :
The ugly: They still beat T_Smith at a game of mafia.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
The Good: The thread you started, one without much forethought put into it, reaches page 6 in 2 hours.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the bad:it morphs into a P. Diddy vs. Prince name coolness rant thread
[ July 08, 2003, 06:03 PM: Message edited by: Morbo ]
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The Worst: P Diddy and Prince put a hit out on you for starting the terrible thread.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the good:after many years, you go back to college
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
The bad: It's clown college.
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
yo mama: rodeo clown college
Posted by Emperor Palpatine (Member # 3544) on :
The good: you've just set a world record.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
The bad: Posthumously.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Yo Mama: For the number of times exhumed.
[ July 08, 2003, 06:25 PM: Message edited by: advice for robots ]
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
LOL, afr...that was good.
Good: There's a ping pong table at the cabin you've rented for the weekend.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
the bad: and there's only one paddle
Posted by Ophelia (Member # 653) on :
Yo mama: which your little brother just tried to flush down the toilet.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
The Good: You bested Billy Graham in a debate.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the bad: you've proven that you can't be saved
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
and your pacemaker goes out as you smugly leave the stage.
Posted by Ophelia (Member # 653) on :
The good: You go to bed before 4 AM.
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
the bad: only to wake up at 4:30am
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
... in Provo. Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the good: the police recovered your stolen car.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
The Bad: In three different states.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The Worst: You now owe personal property taxes in California, Hawaii, and Maine for maintaining a vehicle in each state.
[ July 09, 2003, 04:10 PM: Message edited by: Dan_raven ]
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the good: You really nail someone on several different threads, and they have dial-up so can't keep up
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
The bad: someone with still a faster connection than yourself jumps to the defence.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the worst: your cable ISP is nothing to brag about, but I just did.
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
(ooo... I posted that thing about the car cuz my friend's got stolen. it just turned up today. had been used in a bank robbery. pantyhose still in it. I wll try my luck again)
the good: your house is finally clean enough for visitors.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The Bad--You don't know anybody you would want to come and visit.
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
the worst: you get so depressed over this fact you trash your house.
[ July 09, 2003, 09:58 PM: Message edited by: Head Ditch Digger ]
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
The Good: You're throwing a huge party
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the bad: your nasty neighbors crash
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
yo mama: and the rest of your trailer park cousins too.
(stupid idea, what if this were good, bad, and DOH! and continued a theme a la homer repeatedly encountering the worst of the worst?)
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
The Good: your post count has exceeded 1000.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
The bad: The signal to noise ratio is 1:999
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The Worst: You are refering to collecting Telephone posts that you dug up along the highway. Now the Phone Cops are after you.
Posted by Caleb Varns (Member # 946) on :
Good: your favorite movie just came out on DVD.
Posted by Fitz (Member # 4803) on :
Bad: You don't have a dvd player.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Yo mama: And someone on your cell block has stolen your new DVD and is planning on using it as a weapon.
Posted by HatrackChess (Member # 5379) on :
The Good: Your out of Jail.
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
Never mind, I typed too slow.
[ July 10, 2003, 01:10 PM: Message edited by: Head Ditch Digger ]
Posted by Fitz (Member # 4803) on :
The bad: You're 90 years old and about to die of lung cancer.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
Yo Mama: And you're only out on bail.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
The Good: It's almost time for you to leave work.
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
the bad: because your on the work release program it's to go back to jail for the weekend.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Yo Mama: Where your dvd player's broken.
[ July 10, 2003, 01:39 PM: Message edited by: katharina ]
Posted by HatrackChess (Member # 5379) on :
The Good: Your Momma is out of the hospital.
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
the bad: where she became your dadda.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
And you happen to be Oedipus.
Posted by peterh (Member # 5208) on :
The Good: You hear an old favorite on the radio that you haven't heard in years.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
The Bad: It's on the Oldies station.
Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
Yo Mama: It's the Dixie Chicks cover.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Yo Mama: And they actually have a chamber orchestra playing it live, because sound recording didn't exist the last time anyone played it.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Good: You got a good night's sleep last night.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
Bad: You really needed it to be able to face today.
Posted by HatrackChess (Member # 5379) on :
Yo Momma: You realize that you slept with your eyes open at the stove and burned your house down.
Posted by Caleb Varns (Member # 946) on :
Good: I butterfly lands on your nose.
Posted by HatrackChess (Member # 5379) on :
The Bad: It's poisonous.
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
the worse: which makes your nose fall off.
[ July 10, 2003, 03:54 PM: Message edited by: Head Ditch Digger ]
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
As you are falling to the ground, you are blindsided by the giant poisonous bat that was chasing the butterfly. Later, you get sued by PETA.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The Good: Its only 3 days till your birthday (hint hint)
[ July 10, 2003, 04:40 PM: Message edited by: Dan_raven ]
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
The bad: You're still waiting for last year's promised present from your dad. ( )
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
The Bad: There are so many candles on your birthday cake you can't get near it.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Yo momma: when you go out to the mailbox to look for the present from your dad, the candles from your cake cause your house to go up in flames!
Posted by Wreicheous (Member # 5390) on :
The good: I go out for a burn in my, Honda Civic. Smooth, as silk!
Posted by Caleb Varns (Member # 946) on :
Bad: you discover your car stereo has been stolen overnight.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
yo mama: your nephew tries to sell it to you in the morning
Posted by Caleb Varns (Member # 946) on :
Good: There's a parade coming through town.
Posted by Wreicheous (Member # 5390) on :
Bad: I can't drive, my Honda Civic (smooth as silk), because of the damn parade.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Yo Momma: There's a riot after the parade, and your Honda Civic gets turned over and set on fire!
Edit: I'm not a pyro. I swear.
[ July 10, 2003, 05:56 PM: Message edited by: Megan ]
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
the good: You get asked out on a date
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
the bad: it's with your brother.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
yo' mama: He's really into you.
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
The Good: You win a free holiday!
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
the bad: to Provo!
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
Worse: It's the Lynching Day holiday.
[ July 10, 2003, 10:07 PM: Message edited by: sarcasticmuppet ]
Posted by Jill (Member # 3376) on :
The Good: You just got a $1000 gift certificate.
Posted by Fitz (Member # 4803) on :
The bad: It's for a cheap restaurant, and it expires in half an hour.
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
yo mama: and the resturant is in the next town, an hour away.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the good: a new plant opened up in town with lots of jobs
Posted by Jill (Member # 3376) on :
The bad: It's a manure plant.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the ugly: And your job title is Head Mucker.
[ July 11, 2003, 02:35 AM: Message edited by: Morbo ]
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
The Good: You've gotten Kazaa and downloaded 3 hours of free music.
[ July 11, 2003, 10:04 AM: Message edited by: sarcasticmuppet ]
Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :
The bad: it's all madonna screaming epithets at you.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
Yo Mama: And thanks to spyware used by the music industry, you're being sued for infringement of copyright.
Posted by Caleb Varns (Member # 946) on :
Good: Ender's Game is coming to a theater near you.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
Bad: Tickets are already sold out for the first 2 days worth of showings.
Posted by DanielW (Member # 5395) on :
The ugly :-
when you get there on the third day, you discover it's being done by the same people who brought you 'Puppetry of the Penis'
Posted by Caleb Varns (Member # 946) on :
Good: You managed to not kill a Hatrack thread.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the bad: but your fingers are getting really itchy to do so
Posted by Caleb Varns (Member # 946) on :
Yo Mamma: and while you're trying to decide, the Hatrack thread turns around and kills you instead.
Posted by Caleb Varns (Member # 946) on :
Good: Playing football with Grandpa.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the bad: Gramps is the go-to guy on your team
Posted by Caleb Varns (Member # 946) on :
Yo Mamma: He's also the go-to girl.
Posted by Caleb Varns (Member # 946) on :
Good: your forum game breaks 300 posts.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Bad: You are called in to fix the broken posts.
Posted by Caleb Varns (Member # 946) on :
Yo Mamma: with masking tape.
Posted by CalvinMaker (Member # 2032) on :
Good: You just got promoted to being the new president of your company.
Posted by Fitz (Member # 4803) on :
The bad: The company is days away from complete bankruptcy.
Posted by Caleb Varns (Member # 946) on :
Yo Mamma: your name starts showing up beside other CEO notables like Kenneth Lay.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
GOOD: You marry a supermodel
Posted by Caleb Varns (Member # 946) on :
Bad: she married you for the money.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the worst: you're only rich on paper, and you married for her money
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
Good: You learn that your little daughter is calling the dog when she calls out "Eeee! Eeeee!" Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
Bad: You don't have a dog.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the worst: your little darling just got finished eating bar-be-que without a bib
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
The Good: You won a multi-million dollar jackpot!
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
Bad: You can't remember where you left the lottery ticket.
Posted by CalvinMaker (Member # 2032) on :
Yo Mama: Until your friend shows you a videotape of you drunk last night. In which you see yourself eat the ticket.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Good: You're going to an amusement park for the day.
Posted by CalvinMaker (Member # 2032) on :
Bad: It's "Craig Kilborn Land".
[ July 12, 2003, 05:07 PM: Message edited by: CalvinMaker ]
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the worst: all the brats you're escorting are die-hard Conan fans
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the good: some good friends are coming by to hang out
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
The bad: they're on the run from the cops.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
THe worst, Just as soon as you take off your shirt and get ready for a shower, the cops, and the film crew from the TV Show cops, show up.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
The Good: You won a reality tv show.
Posted by Fitz (Member # 4803) on :
The Bad: Show Title - Ugliest Person Alive .
Posted by CalvinMaker (Member # 2032) on :
The Worst: The prize is a date with Courtney Love.
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the good: you are a musical prodigy.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
The Bad: You play the armpit.
Posted by Caleb Varns (Member # 946) on :
Yo Mamma: And all of your fans want you to sign theirs.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the good: you're finally getting married.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
The bad: it's a shotgun wedding.
Posted by Dead_Horse (Member # 3027) on :
Ugly: And you're not sure which sister you're supposed to be marrying.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
The good: You get four hours overtime at your job.
Posted by Fitz (Member # 4803) on :
The bad: You're the poopsmith.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the worst: the overtime just pops you into a higher tax bracket, so only Uncle Sugar really gets anything
Posted by Dead_Horse (Member # 3027) on :
Good: The bill collectors finally seem to have stopped calling.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Bad: Instead, they've started sending hitmen.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the worst: each wave of assasins seems to get a little farther, like a video game.
[ July 19, 2003, 03:49 PM: Message edited by: Morbo ]
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
the good: You've discovered how to bring an end to human pain and suffering.
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
The bad: You're an alien.
Posted by James Tiberius Kirk (Member # 2832) on :
The Ugly: You're a homicidal alien with the Dr. Device.
[ July 21, 2003, 03:53 PM: Message edited by: James Tiberius Kirk ]
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the good: the mole is benign
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the bad: the scar is not.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The Worst: The mole is a vampiric rodent with rabies.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
The good: Your boss loves the new logo you made.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
The Bad: All of your female coworkers considered it sexual harrassment.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The Worst: All your male co-workers think its a proposition, and are drooling over you in agreement.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
The good: You can see 30% more of the electromagnetic spectrum.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
the bad: including x-rays of your next-door neighbor lady in her skivvies
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the worst: you're not sure how to tell her she has breast cancer.
[ July 22, 2003, 11:15 AM: Message edited by: Morbo ]
Posted by Zoia (Member # 5417) on :
The Good: You found your long-lost best friend.
[ July 22, 2003, 03:38 PM: Message edited by: Zoia ]
Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
The bad: Her name has changed from Victoria to Victor.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The Worst: Celia think's he's hotter than you.
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
The good: Good, Bad, Yo mama is now on an 8th page...
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the bad: Index's "hand in unlovable hand" thread is within striking distance, and now she's depressed about selling her pony. A wave of female sympathy will surely have her on page 12 before midnight...
[ July 22, 2003, 08:36 PM: Message edited by: Morbo ]
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the worst: Flish just posted to your thread.
Posted by Feyd Baron (Member # 1407) on :
The good: Dan's next on celia's list.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the bad: that's not the only list he's on...
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the worst: celia has clones and Dan's on all of their lists.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The Good: Dan survived another day
Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
the bad: so did celia
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
Yo mama: At least her robotic arm and the cyborg neural chip that somehow escaped the hydraulic press
[ July 23, 2003, 09:37 PM: Message edited by: pooka ]
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
Another good from real life: Your 7 year old just finished reading chapter 16...
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the bad: you just got your head around the forward.
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
Yo Mama: And it turns out she is reading "Valley of the Horses" (aka how cave people get their groove on) [ this really happened to my mother in law with my husband was twelve]
Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
The good: someone just handed you a nice fresh orange.
Posted by Zoia (Member # 5417) on :
The bad: You're very seriously allergic to all citrus fruits...
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
yo mama: your name is Eve.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
The good: you're finally getting that promotion
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the bad: the record label's decided to promote you as a cross-over artist.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the worst: a crossover between torch song standards (your specialty) and death metal
[ July 24, 2003, 10:16 PM: Message edited by: Morbo ]
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the good: your ex got married.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
The bad: to your sibling.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
...in Canada.
Posted by Dead_Horse (Member # 3027) on :
Good: You've just found the wallet you lost three weeks ago.
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
the bad: It was missing all the credit cards and money.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The Worst, but there is an IOU $10,000 to a Vito "The leg breaker" Malone in it and your signature on it.
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the good: your neighbor didn't wake you up mowing his lawn (at an absurd hour) this morning.
Posted by Ophelia (Member # 653) on :
The bad: He woke you up with shouting, instead.
Posted by Dead_Horse (Member # 3027) on :
Yo Mama: Because he had accidentally set his lawnmower on fire trying to fix it andit spread to your house.
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
The good: Bananas for 15 cents a pound
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
the bad: they were ripe a month ago.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
And you just accidentally invested in 30,000 shares of banana futures, thinking you were buying stock in Chiquita.
[ July 26, 2003, 05:22 PM: Message edited by: Annie ]
Posted by Gimli, son of Gloin (Member # 5468) on :
the good: You kill more orcs than your friend
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
The bad: You woke up from that delusional dream.
Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :
the worst: and discovered you were in an alternate reality where all you had was your boomstick, you had spawned an evil twin, and he had made your girlfriend into a zombie queen.
Posted by Zoia (Member # 5417) on :
The Good: You got a new DVD player...
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The Bad: DVD stands for Deadly Venerial Disease.
[ July 26, 2003, 09:16 PM: Message edited by: Dan_raven ]
Posted by Zoia (Member # 5417) on :
Yo Momma: That you caught from your boyfriend's father and now he's got it too...
Posted by Dead_Horse (Member # 3027) on :
The Good: You've just won a prize in the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes!
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the bad: it's not the prize you entered to win.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
Yo Mama: The prize is a Swift Kick in the rear.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
The good: you've adopted a homeless kitty
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Bad: He's not litter-trained, and you spend the entire afternoon cleaning up messes as he marks his new territory.
Posted by Dead_Horse (Member # 3027) on :
Yo Mama: And when he grows up, he's really, really big, with huge teeth and claws, and your dog is missing.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
The good: You were accepted into the yacht club.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
The bad: You don't have a yacht.
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
Yo Mama: They demand that you buy one on your salary as a janitor.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
The good: You're almost not behind on your schoolwork.
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
The Bad: Nothing has been assigned this week because next week is finals.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
Yo mama: a hooligan steals your trusty school bag with all your caught up homework in it and your study guides for finals.
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
The good: You've decided to become a Psychiatrist, so you can help people.
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
The bad: Bob Wiley is refered(sp?) to you. (See the movie "What About Bob.")
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
The worst: You just planned a vacation to Lake Winapesaki with your family.
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
LOL!!!!!! Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
The good: You ate a healthy breakfast.
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
The bad: it's the fifth breakfast you've had this morning.
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
Yo mama: Time is looping from noon to 6 AM...(like on Groundhog Day, only shorter).
[ August 07, 2003, 04:08 PM: Message edited by: Maccabeus ]
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
The good: You got a job.
Posted by Potemkyn (Member # 5465) on :
As a crash test dummy.
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
At a company that makes those tiny European cars.
Posted by FlyingCow (Member # 2150) on :
The good: You just graduated.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the bad: from Subway Univ.
[ August 09, 2003, 04:50 AM: Message edited by: Morbo ]
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
with a degree in sanitation tech.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
the good: you got accepted to your top choice of schools.
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
the bad: You ranked your top schools based on basketball teams rather than your own skills.
Posted by filetted (Member # 5048) on :
You ponder the fates ot the ridiculous mounds of flesh stumbling before your eyes and you decide to think for a moment.
[ August 11, 2003, 04:36 AM: Message edited by: filetted ]
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
The Good: You're moving out of the house!
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
The bad: Because you're going to prison.
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
The worst: You are assigned to jail cell #101.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
the good: Your husband remembered your anniversary.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The Bad: Three weeks late.
Posted by Sopwith (Member # 4640) on :
The ugly: You filed the divorce papers yesterday!
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
The good: the old lady in the store waved at you.
Hobbes Posted by Sopwith (Member # 4640) on :
The bad: She was pointing you out to the security guards.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The Worst: She wasn't wearing any clothes.
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
The good: You've found a patch that stops your system from crashing.
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
The bad: It's made by Microsoft.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Hey T, it's spelled Winnipesaukee.
I grew up there.
Never met Bob!
Posted by Dead_Horse (Member # 3027) on :
Yo Mama: and it has to be reinstalled every day, it's expensive, and you still crave the Blue Screen of Death.
(Stupid H key!) Dead_orse
[ August 11, 2003, 11:02 PM: Message edited by: Dead_Horse ]
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
Good: You get an incredible sum of money
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
The Bad: Instead of giving it to a poor bloke in Utah, you spend it on Escaflowne.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
In pennies
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
the good: you just married 12 jatraqueros in a cyber ceremony.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the bad: the 'who sleeps with whom' drawing is rigged against you
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
Yo Mama: Darn, I just drew Morbo.
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
The Good: You're soon to make your first Landmark post...
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
The Bad: The only thing that comes to mind to talk about is your obsession for jello. Or your girl friend.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
Yo mama: Your girlfriend posts her landmark post first telling everyone about herself, you and your obsession with jello.
Posted by Dead_Horse (Member # 3027) on :
Good: You've just won the annual Betty Crocker cook-off with your recipe for Jello Surprise.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
The bad: Just after giving you the award, the judges all become violently ill.
Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
Yo mama: All over you!
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Good: You've got a two-week break between semesters coming up.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The Bad: You spend it in bed due to a bad case of Jello Surprise Poisoning.
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
Yo Mama: You return to discover that the initial effects of the poisoning made you delirious during registration--you're signed up for Transfinite Mathematics, Subnuclear Physics, Advanced Genetic Techniques, and Piano.
Posted by Damander (Member # 4439) on :
The Good: One of your co-workers is incredibly hot...and I mean YEOW! hot.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
the bad: you can't help screaming "YEOW!" at the top of your lungs whenever you see her.
Posted by meltingsnowman (Member # 4559) on :
Yo Mama: 'Her' name is John
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
The good: You just got promoted!
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
The bad: Your promotion was to a "Lavoratory Technician"
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
Yo mama: Your wages got upped to just under what child laborers in third world countries get paid.
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
The Good: You went to bed.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
the bad: You can't remember going to bed.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Yo mama: You aren't sure whose bed it is.
Edit: Hey! 100 posts! Neat!
[ August 13, 2003, 02:22 PM: Message edited by: Megan ]
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
The Good: The Gods are smiling on you.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
The Bad: The smile is from the laughter.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Yo mama: The laughter is because ONCE AGAIN you have tripped and fallen up the stairs.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
The Good: You just stapled you Mother in Law to the floor.
<--*Isn't sure where that came from :shrug: *
Hobbes Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
The bad: It's your bedroom floor.
Posted by Dead_Horse (Member # 3027) on :
Yo Mama: And your Father-in-Law thinks that's pretty cool and pops a viagra.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
The good: You just ate a big salad, fresh from the garden.
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
The bad: It's not your garden.
Posted by Redskullvw (Member # 1549) on :
Yo Mama: The farmer who happens to own the garden also happens to be a vivisectionist and wants his veggies back.
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
The good: You won the sweepstakes!
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
The bad: The prize is tickets to a Donny Osmond concert.
Posted by Fitz (Member # 4803) on :
Yo mama: He's singing a duet with Billy Joel.
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
The good: you're heading off to college.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
The bad: You're not actually enrolled.
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
Yo mama: After a couple of weeks living in the dorms, the school realizes that you're not enrolled and throws you out. You can't get home and don't have the money to get an apartment in town....
(Has happened to me...)
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
good: You've lost 10 pounds!
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Bad: The 10 pounds are back, and they brought "friends."
Posted by Paul Goldner (Member # 1910) on :
Yo mama: You now live in the hole in the floor created when you tried to carry those "Friends" into the house last week.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Good: The summer semester is over! Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
you flunked everything.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Including the class that is only offered once every two years. That you need to graduate.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
The good: If I just avoid Kayla's spelling thread, I won't be able to see her slap my brain around.
Posted by TwosonPaula (Member # 5511) on :
The Bad: The other people here will probably do it for her.
[ August 14, 2003, 08:58 PM: Message edited by: TwosonPaula ]
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Yo mama: and you'll probably like it.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
the good: Slash finally got into a great fight.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Bad: It was with a Sumo wrestler.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Slash says that was a good warm up, but now he's looking for you.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Good: Bob got a present in the mail.
[ August 15, 2003, 12:50 PM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
It was from his great Aunt Matilda.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
Yo Mama: Aunt Matilda died ten years ago.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
(dude, you read my mind!!! I wanted to put that, but I couldn't do the bad and the worst at the same time!! )
Good: You just had an intelligent thought.
Posted by Celtic Flame (Member # 5556) on :
Bad: If it had come from an eight-year old.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
It did; now he's suing for copyright infringement.
Posted by Celtic Flame (Member # 5556) on :
(Annie, I didn't see that coming)
The Good: You get accepted into a prestigious university.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Bad: As a night janitor.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
And you bear an uncanny resemblance to the rival team's mascot
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
Good: You get to meet God, face to face.
Posted by Celtic Flame (Member # 5556) on :
The Bad: God has bad news.
Posted by DullSpoon (Member # 5251) on :
YO mama: He cant help you, you're uglyness is beyond even him.
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
The good: A deserving person got their butt kicked.
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
The bad: they blame you.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
And your shoes match the bloody footprint
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the good: you talk to your mother for the first time in a long while.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
The bad: she spent most of the conversation complaining about the behavior of your younger sibling.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Yo mama: You're an only child.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
The good: the mistake you made at work turned out not to be as bad as you thought.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
The bad: There were far fewer casualties than the original estimate.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
The bad: It was a lot worse.
Posted by Celtic Flame (Member # 5556) on :
Yo Mama: Too bad one of those casualties was your boss.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
good: This thread just got bumped!
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
Bad: Hatrack is dead.
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
Yo Mama: You have the last post on the top 20 threads.
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
The good: You got a new house!
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
The bad: While digging for your swimming pool, construction workers seem to have unearthed a sacred Indian burial ground.
Posted by Celtic Flame (Member # 5556) on :
Yo Mama: Which would explain the axe in your back you found this morning.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
The good: you have the night off!
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the bad: your spouse has a to-do list as long as your arm
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
The Worse: The list includes her arm.
Hobbes Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
The Good: You're playing a really cool videogame.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
The Bad: The system isn't plugged in.
Posted by Celtic Flame (Member # 5556) on :
Yo Mama: You've just imagined it...you're insane.
Posted by Polemarch (Member # 3293) on :
The Good: All your base are belong to us.
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
Bad: Somebody set us up the bomb
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
Yo mama: Everything written in the English language suddenly looks like it was badly translated from a Korean (or Japenese ) game.
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
(Japanese)
Good: You've been promoted to a mighty god.
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
Bad: Your Adversary is mightier than you are.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The WOrst--Your name is Pluto, Lord of the Dead, but you get no respect because everyone confuses you with a stupid cartoon dog with half the brains of a walnut.
Posted by Celtic Flame (Member # 5556) on :
(lets pretend this person has had the worst day in the history of the world)
The Good: You've been shot!
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
Bad: It seems like you'll pull through.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the worst: you make a complete recovery, just in time for your hanging
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The Good--You recieve beautiful flowers.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
You are terribly allergic, break out in hives, and can't breathe.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Yo mama: You recover, only to be stung by the five bees that fly out of the bouquet.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
good: You won a new car on a game show.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
bad: it's a Yugo
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
a yellow yugo.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
The good: You're redecorating your house.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
but you only have $100 to spend
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
And the plumber's bill for fixing that sudden leak is $200.
Posted by Celtic Flame (Member # 5556) on :
Good: Your brother is getting married.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
To your ex.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
the worst: and they're moving in with you
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
Good: School is starting soon.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
bad: and all the freshmen have come to campus.
[ August 27, 2003, 01:37 PM: Message edited by: Megan ]
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
And, even though you're in your forth year, you still have to take classes with them.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
The Good: It's labor day.
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
The bad: You have to labor.
Posted by Celtic Flame (Member # 5556) on :
Yo Mama: Your all mens boarding school begins soon after.
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
The Good: Bob and Dana are getting married.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
The Good: The Mayan calendar remains correct to this day.
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
Yo Mama: The Apocolypse is YOU.
Posted by HRE (Member # 6263) on :
Good: My house built of straw is still standing.
Posted by kinglear (Member # 6211) on :
the bad: Theres a hungry cow coming this way
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Worse: And he's got a gun.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
The Good: Trogdor's got a surprise for you
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
the bad: It's wrapped in asbestos
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
the good: You found out you weren't wong after all!
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
(you missed the last yo mama!)
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
the bad: you were missdirected to the wong pwace
Posted by kinglear (Member # 6211) on :
Yo Mama: And now a group of Chinese kung fu masters named Wong are gonna beat the crap out of you for making a really bad joke
The Good: You finally learned how to juggle!
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
The bad: You packed all your torches and knives in your carry-on.
Posted by kinglear (Member # 6211) on :
Yo Mama: The airport security guard just scanned your bag
The Good: You just found a million dollars in gold bullion!
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
the bad: it was planted.
Posted by CalvinMaker (Member # 2032) on :
The Bad:
It's in the middle of a desert, and you have no water or means of transportation.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
yo mama: and the House of Saud is calling in a favor.
Posted by kinglear (Member # 6211) on :
The Good: You just managed to become immortal
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
the bad: you killed yourself in the process.
Posted by CalvinMaker (Member # 2032) on :
( ::fails to see how it's possible to kill yourself after you've already become immortal.:: )
[ March 28, 2004, 03:01 AM: Message edited by: CalvinMaker ]
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
(calvin: "in the PROCESS of becoming immortal")
yo mama: your opponent lops off your head while you're busy contemplating the consequences.
where the devil is that "rolls eyes" icon?
Posted by CalvinMaker (Member # 2032) on :
fallow, i understood what you were saying. What I was saying was that the post before it said "you" had already become immortal.
Hence if you became immortal, you couldn't have killed yourself in the process.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
urr... that wasn't my read. Let's try again.
the good: You just achieved immortality!
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
the bad: nobody saw your second coming...
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
yo mama: Ever heard the name Clinton?
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
The good: You finally figured out how to make your grandmother's chocolate cake.
Posted by MEC (Member # 2968) on :
The Bad: you find out it doesn't use chocolate.
Posted by CalvinMaker (Member # 2032) on :
Yo mama: You find out it's betty crocker's recipe, not your grandmother's.
Posted by kinglear (Member # 6211) on :
the Good: Fox just renewed the 'Family Guy' animated series!
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
the bad: half the cast failed to renew their contracts.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
The bad: In fascinating Claymation!
Edit: From fallow's:
Yo momma: The voices will now be done by NPR news anchor Bob Edwards.
[ March 29, 2004, 11:36 PM: Message edited by: advice for robots ]
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
The Good: The Semester's nearly over!
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
Bad: Finals
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
yo mamma: it's your first open-water dive, and the jellyfish count is alarmingly high for this time of year.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
the good: You just passed your bar exam.
Posted by Mabus (Member # 6320) on :
The bad: None of the bars are hiring.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Yo Mama: And your student loans were just bought up by Tony Soprano.
Posted by kinglear (Member # 6211) on :
the good: You got a super power!
Posted by Nato (Member # 1448) on :
The bad: Nobody wants to pay you for bionic piggy-back rides.
Posted by skrika03 (Member # 5930) on :
yo-mama: except for the bionic pigs.
I hope I didn't screw up an arcane inside joke there.
The good: The theory of evolution has just been proven!
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
the bad: there's no room for your kind on the tree of life.
Posted by Architraz Warden (Member # 4285) on :
Yo Mama: The Gardener is coming with a pair of clippers.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
Good: it's Spring!!
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
Bad: Allergies!
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
The Worse: You sneeze so much every date you go on turns into a Wet T-Shirt contest.
[ March 31, 2004, 01:51 AM: Message edited by: T_Smith ]
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
yo mama: and your coworkers insist on wearing their wool sweaters.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
<-- incomprehensible Fallow sentiment
-not only are your coworkers contributing to your allergies, but probably suffocating you with their BO-
the good: wool is out of fashion
Posted by MEC (Member # 2968) on :
The Bad: so are clothes.
Posted by kinglear (Member # 6211) on :
Yo Mama: Isn't that Marlon Brando waddling this way?
The Good: You finally got a 6-pack of abs like you wanted
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
The bad: You have 2 inches thick of chest, ab, and back hair.
Posted by CalvinMaker (Member # 2032) on :
Yo mama:
The hair is growing 20 times as fast as an average person's hair grows.
Posted by Nato (Member # 1448) on :
The good: You drank eight cups of water today, just as your doctor recommended.
Posted by kinglear (Member # 6211) on :
the bad: your bladder just exploded like a water balloon
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
Your mama wants to know what happened to all the water in the fishtank.
Posted by kinglear (Member # 6211) on :
The Good: You just won a contest and OSC is going to use your username as the name of a character in his next book!
Posted by Nato (Member # 1448) on :
The Bad: Due to high ink costs, he had to cut it down to Trogdo the Bur.
Posted by kinglear (Member # 6211) on :
yo mama: due to a spellchecker error, you will now be known only as Trogdo the Butt
edit: as not at
[ April 01, 2004, 03:18 AM: Message edited by: kinglear ]
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
Good: The dentist says you don't have any cavities.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
The Bad: But you have an overbite the size of a cadillac.
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
Yo Mama: The dental hygienist couldn't get all the bugs off your "grille."
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
The Good: You spent 3 hours driving around last night TP'ing other hatrackers.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
The Bad: Instead of getting Patman's house, you accidentally TP'd the mayor.
Posted by MEC (Member # 2968) on :
Yo mama: you then find out that patman really is the mayor.
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
quote: The Bad: Instead of getting Patman's house, you accidentally TP'd the mayor.
ACK! Don't you scare me like that!!
You know what the worst part of this is? Waiting till they reply. You just can't gloat until they reply.
By the way, we totally TP'd Pats house, and I left rolls on Amka's, Speeds, Raventh1's and Zevlags porches. I hate not knowing if they found it.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
Good: After TP'ing Pat's house and leaving the evidence on other people's porches, you find out that they all had exactly the reaction you were hoping for.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The Bad: The reaction involves tar, feathers, an you.
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
Yo Mama: When it comes time to clean yourself off, you'll realize that you're out of TP.
Posted by Rhaegar The Fool (Member # 5811) on :
The Good: You have just won the pagent!
Posted by MEC (Member # 2968) on :
The bad: The pagent of ugliest person in the universe.
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
Yo Mama: You don't even remember entering.
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
The Good: The Gorn on Cestus III thought you looked hot in the pageant.
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
The Bad: Because your dress was on fire.
Posted by Rhaegar The Fool (Member # 5811) on :
YM: And he has a thing for transvestites.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
The good: You de-lurk because a thread you hold dear to your heart has been bumped.
Posted by peterh (Member # 5208) on :
The bad: You have no idea who any of the people are that are posting in it.
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
Yo Mama: The bumping poster is a troll who has duplicated your sig.
Posted by kinglear (Member # 6211) on :
The Good: Your sig is good enough for people to steal it as their own!
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
the bad: it didn't garner as much on ebay as they'd hoped.
Posted by MEC (Member # 2968) on :
Yo mama: When they stole it, they decided to kill you too.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Good: It's Friday!
Posted by Boon (Member # 4646) on :
Bad: You still have to work all weekend.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
Yo Mama: cleaning the crap out of the elephant cages
Posted by skrika03 (Member # 5930) on :
the good: roadtrip this afternoon!
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
Bad: It's in Hobbes' WHAM-mobile Posted by MEC (Member # 2968) on :
Yo Ma-ma: And the only other passanger is OSC-Fan.
[ April 02, 2004, 03:35 PM: Message edited by: MEC ]
Posted by kinglear (Member # 6211) on :
The Good: Someone ressurects a sometimes funny game thread while searching for an old thread on food recipes..
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
the bad: food+funny usually = fight
Posted by Lara (Member # 132) on :
Yo Mama: And we all know what that will do to a thread
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
the good: the bush is thick but you've got your machete.
Posted by Space Opera (Member # 6504) on :
the bad: however, you forgot to sharpen it before starting out
Posted by Wussy Actor (Member # 5937) on :
And there's like seventeen secret service men between you and him.
Posted by Lara (Member # 132) on :
Yo Mama: You also forgot water, matches and mosquito repellant. Have a nice trip.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
the good: a butterfly lands on your nose.
Posted by Lara (Member # 132) on :
The bad: You only know it was a butterfly because there are wings in the goo left of it on your hand
Posted by Space Opera (Member # 6504) on :
the worst: you are immediately arrested by a forest ranger b/c the particular type of butterfly that you just squashed was an almost-extinct species protected by federal law. Oh, and your cell mate's name is Big Larry.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
the good: probnosticators are in season.
Posted by Lara (Member # 132) on :
The bad: You didn't buy a license
Posted by Space Opera (Member # 6504) on :
worst: You discover that you are a probnosticator
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
the good: the wild flowers are in bloom.
Posted by Nato (Member # 1448) on :
The bad: you're allergic.
Posted by Lara (Member # 132) on :
Yo Mama: But they're daylilies and you're stuck in a cubicle while the sun's up, so it doesn't matter anyway.
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
The Good: You saved on your water bill by xeriscaping your yard.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
the bad: you picked the wrong landscaping species.
[ May 20, 2004, 02:25 AM: Message edited by: fallow ]
Posted by Lara (Member # 132) on :
Yo Mama: You wake up from your dream lying in a cardboard box in an alley.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
the good: you wake to the buzz of an umpteen-year slumber *snooze*
[ May 20, 2004, 02:35 AM: Message edited by: fallow ]
Posted by Lara (Member # 132) on :
The bad: But falling asleep meant you missed chatting with fallow. Again. Poop.
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
Yo Mama: You only had a two-hour bladder.
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
The Good: Your mama took Feng Shui classes while you were away to college and re-decorated your old bedroom.
[ May 22, 2004, 01:46 AM: Message edited by: skillery ]
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
the bad: yo mama shaved her head.
[ May 20, 2004, 02:55 AM: Message edited by: fallow ]
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
Yo Mama: ...and didn't tell you until you came home for Spring Break...that she turned the house into a monastery.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
the good: the monks left, and the sisters fled before them.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
The bad: They took the good china.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
yo mama: she was the only one who could translate!
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
the good: the coupon hasn't expired.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
bad: However, they still don't have the item in the style you like.
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
yo mama: Your wife made you sleep in the garage when you tried on your new, festive, Frederick's of Hollywood fuzzy elephant g-string.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
the good: every cloud has a silver lining.
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
the bad: many coffins have a silver lining
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
Bump.
Now that's a toughie.
Posted by landybraine (Member # 10807) on :
Yo momma: the silver lining of your coffin is lead, now everyone who cried over your dead body has lead poisoning
Posted by Mike (Member # 55) on :
The good: they found a cure for the common cold.
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
The bad: It costs a week's wages.
Posted by MidnightBlue (Member # 6146) on :
Yo momma: And it replaces your cold with AIDS.
Posted by Kelly (Member # 9576) on :
The good: you've aced all your exams! Posted by Tammy (Member # 4119) on :
The Bad - This thread had a post count of 666. I just had to change that.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
Yo momma - You had to sell your soul to the devil to ace all those exams.
Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
The good: You also learned how to play a mean guitar.
Posted by Javert Hugo (Member # 3980) on :
The Bad: The nice guitars won't speak to you.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Yo momma: But the accordions won't stop humping your leg.
Posted by Javert Hugo (Member # 3980) on :
Oh, good grief.
The good: You have several ideas for your term paper.
Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
The bad: A horrific car accident left you unable to write or communicate verbally.
Posted by Nathan2006 (Member # 9387) on :
Yo Mama: Through the long process of blinking your eyes to morse code, you manage to have a close friend transcribe your term paper, but you still recieve a failing grade.
The Good: You write a books and it gets published.
Posted by erosomniac (Member # 6834) on :
The Bad: by a company that publishes hentai manga.
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
Yo Mamma: They give you a pen name that happens to be that of the guy who turned you down for the Fall formal.
The good: You just got a new car!
Posted by landybraine (Member # 10807) on :
The Bad: It's got a heinous smell in it.
Posted by Nathan2006 (Member # 9387) on :
Yo Mama: There's a corpse in the trunk
The Good: You dog is well behaved.
Posted by Threads (Member # 10863) on :
The Bad: With the shock collar on
Posted by Raventhief (Member # 9002) on :
Yo Mama: ...and he seems to have chewed it off.
The Good: You recently learned to read Sanskrit
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
The bad: Only to find out that somebody else got the Sanskrit translator job you were aiming for.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
Yo' Mama: and it's the only Sanskrit translator job in the country.
Good: You finally get some overtime at work.
Posted by Tammy (Member # 4119) on :
The Bad: You're now working a 60 hour week.
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
Yo Mama: On the sewage's janitorial staff.
The Good: You just made a nice hot cup of tea.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
The bad: You're in Phoenix in July and it's 120 degrees outside.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Yo Mama: You made the tea by sticking a tea bag in a kiddie pool on the sidewalk. Mmmmmm.
Good: You made your connecting flight with seconds to spare.
Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
The bad: It just happened to be the flight that was hijacked by rabid (literally) terrorists.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
Yo Mama: During your daring attempt to overcome the terrorists, you were bitten.
Good: You just won the lottery.
Posted by Javert Hugo (Member # 3980) on :
Bad: The prize was 30 cents.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Yo Mama: Before taxes.
Good: The cabin you're camping in has lights and running water.
Posted by Javert Hugo (Member # 3980) on :
Bad: The running water is a creek that has been diverted through the walls and the lights are fireflies.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
Yo mama: A flash-flood warning was just announced on the radio.
Good: You just got a clean bill of health at your check-up.
Posted by Javert Hugo (Member # 3980) on :
Bad: It has your neighbor's name on it.
Posted by Juxtapose (Member # 8837) on :
Yo mama: With your billing information.
Good: Pickles!
Posted by Ivygirl1937 (Member # 10918) on :
Bad: That rotted and grew mold.
Posted by Mike (Member # 55) on :
Yo mama: that have evolved into malicious sentient beings plotting to take over the universe.
Good: you just passed your test with flying colors.
Posted by Juxtapose (Member # 8837) on :
Bad: The colors slowly resolve into a hospital room.
Posted by Dead_Horse (Member # 3027) on :
Yo Mama: But you can't see them at all anyway, because you've gone blind from too much...er, studying.
The good: Halloween is just around the corner!
Posted by SenojRetep (Member # 8614) on :
The bad: You haven't thought of a costume yet
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Yo Mama: Nobody thinks you need one.
Good: It’s lunchtime.
Posted by Javert Hugo (Member # 3980) on :
Bad: You didn't bring lunch or your wallet.
Posted by Juxtapose (Member # 8837) on :
Yo Mama: Damn, that smells good.
Good: You've never seen such a breathtaking vista before.
Posted by Javert Hugo (Member # 3980) on :
Bad: It's breathtaking because there is literally no oxygen in the air.
Posted by Dead_Horse (Member # 3027) on :
Yo Mama: Because you have fallen out of an air plane at a very high altitude-without a parachute.
The good: They finally painted over the obscene grafitti on an underpass on your route to work.
Posted by Eduardo St. Elmo (Member # 9566) on :
The Bad: They didn't put up a 'caution - wet paint' sign.
Posted by Vyrus (Member # 10525) on :
Yo Momma: You decided to rest against the wall for a breather the day of your big presentation.
The Good: [a challenge?] you finally master that new song during your guitar lessons.
Posted by steven (Member # 8099) on :
The bad: When you play it for her, it reminds the girl you're trying to impress of something awful in her past, which she immediately associates with you forever.
Posted by Pegasus (Member # 10464) on :
Being a dwarf, you will spend the rest of your life trying to to impress that same girl. She will always hate you.
Posted by Kelly (Member # 9576) on :
The good: I just resurrected this thread Posted by dabbler (Member # 6443) on :
The bad: No one knows who you are.
Posted by scholarette (Member # 11540) on :
Yo mama- I think your newest alt is Clive Candy.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
The good: Man, this thread was fun!
Posted by Sterling (Member # 8096) on :
The bad: Alas, it's doomed to wither back into obscurity.
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
Yo mama: dragging you along with it, right before it kills you.
The good: The gas you pass is completely odorless.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
The bad: Not, however, completely soundless.
Posted by Traceria (Member # 11820) on :
Yo mama: It was in the presence of that same girl mentioned eight or nine posts back.
The good: You managed to catch a snowflake on your tongue.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
The bad: Ow! That hurt!
Posted by Sterling (Member # 8096) on :
Yo Mama: And on reflecting on the burning chemical factory down the road, it's probably not snow.
The good: your doctor says it's not H1N1.
Posted by scholarette (Member # 11540) on :
The bad: Ebola!
Posted by Traceria (Member # 11820) on :
Yo Mama: It was just yesterday that you blew out the birthday candles on the cake at the office.
The good: The doctor gave you a lolly-pop.
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
The bad: It looks like he is expecting something inappropriate in return.
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
)
![[Grumble]](graemlins/grumble.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
) game.
![[Hail]](graemlins/hail.gif)
![[Party]](graemlins/party.gif)