Okay, most of the time, I end up having to take more stupid pills than a little old lady. Yes, I even have a pill cutter.
I've noticed that some labels on my prescription bottles are fairly, well, silly. And completely obvious.
My favorite useless label is on my Ambien bottle:
"May cause drowsiness."
For those of you who don't know, Ambien is a sleeping medication.
I just find that too amusing.
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
Yeah, I know what you mean. You might as well put on a coke: May quench your thirst.
Or on a Hamburger: May stop hunger.
Or on a knife: May cut stuff.
Or on a dishwasher: May clean dishes.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Well, with the dishwasher we had when I was a kid, you had to wash the dishes THEN put them in the dishwasher, or it wouldn't wash them.
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
Well if a lawsuit came out of it, I'm sure the company would point out the "may" part.
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
You know, every med I ever took for migraines said "May cause headaches." Posted by Ethics Gradient (Member # 878) on :
Knives that say "Caution: Sharp Edge" are kinda funny too. heh
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
I had a prescription once with a warning label that said "Be sure to take all medication"
The prescription was for ONE pill.
Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
You were probably supposed to lick your fingers after you took it to make sure you didn't miss any.
Posted by littlemissattitude (Member # 4514) on :
I've always liked the prescription pill bottles that say something like, "To be taken orally." Gee, I would never have thought of that.
Posted by Speed (Member # 5162) on :
Don't underestimate the stupidity of people. I've been selling meds for quite a while, and you wouldn't believe what people will or won't do if you don't spell it out for them. It would not surprise me a bit if someone took an Ambien and then decided they needed to drive to Taco Bell and get a burrito before bed. I've talked to people that tried to take a suppository orally. I've talked to people that tried to insert a suppository without removing the foil wrapper. I know a pharmacist personally that once dispensed a prescription in a manufacturer's bottle which included a desiccant (a small capsule containing moisture-absorbents to increase the product's shelf life). On the desiccant was a label bearing the warning: "Do Not Eat". After some time, the patient came back into the pharmacy and told this pharmacist, "I saw the warning in the bottle, and I haven't eaten in three days. I'm getting really hungry. When can I eat again?" When I started in my job, I used to think it was overkill to put labels on that warned that Ambien would make you tired, or that you shouldn't drink alcohol with Antabuse. Now that I know people a little better, I explain every stupid, obvious detail that I possibly can.
[ July 04, 2003, 02:23 AM: Message edited by: Speed ]
Posted by Diosmel Duda (Member # 2180) on :
I love curling irons that have warnings saying, "Caution: May burn eyes." First of all, how would you manage that? Second of all, why just eyes? Third of all, may?
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
I like it when coffee says: "Caution, this product is hot."
I also LOVE it when a bag of peanuts says: "Caution, may contain traces of nuts."
No, really?!
Posted by Alucard... (Member # 4924) on :
Not to bang the gong of reality in this funny thread, but the National Boards of Pharmacy determines which warning labels are to be included on a prescription medication when being dispensed. These stupid labels are required by our governing agency, and the omission of these labels is considered as the dispensing of a "misbranded" product.
I personally throw caution to the wind and try earnestly to apply logic to the application of these labels.
quote:Don't underestimate the stupidity of people.
I can only soberly reiterate this.
The suppository and dessicant stories happen in every pharmacy. But thank you for being WAY above the bell curve of patients I have to deal with. I consider Hatrackers to be well informed and only hope to help in the education of pharmacy's finer points Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
You guys need to listen to Bill Engvall's comedy routine, especially about warning labels. My favorite is the big "DO NOT EAT THIS" on the drying agent included with electronics. Did you really think that Sony would give you something to eat with your reciever? "Look, a reciever and a pack of chiclets!"
Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
Somewhat off topic - that Ambien is some crazy stuff. They gave that to my wife once after her C-section, and she started tripping...definitely made me nervous to watch. Didn't help her sleep, much.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Wow. I'm out in 15 minutes with that o_O
Posted by Dominum (Member # 4933) on :
Ambien is a somnolescence agent most similar to the drug class of benzodiazepines.
Typical benzos include but are not limited to:
Valium Xanax Ativan Versed Restoril Tranxene
We refer to them as tranquilizers or nerve pills, however Ambien targets the GABA receptor to cause sedation and aid sleep, without many of the addictive side effects seen with benzos.
The trouble is, many patients cannot stop taking Ambien without causing a loss in the quality of sleep. Whether this is seen as an addiction or not is very gray however, and depends on the situation. But if used as prescribed, Ambien is the best sleep-aid available by prescription.
P.S. Anyone notice the trade name implies "good in the morning"?
AM = morning bien = spanish for "good"
Posted by matt (Member # 236) on :
Hrm...would "Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball" be out of place here? Posted by James Tiberius Kirk (Member # 2832) on :
on a bottle of detergent:
quote:WARNING: If you cannot read, please get assistance before using this product.
Yes, that was a real label.
[ July 07, 2003, 08:05 PM: Message edited by: James Tiberius Kirk ]
Posted by Slash the Berzerker (Member # 556) on :
I like my toothpicks that say, "May cause injury if swallowed" on the box.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Whoa - a popup bar for Ambien just appeared on my screen when I opened this thread... how'd they do that?
Posted by Dominum (Member # 4933) on :
Actually, I did that with my mind! Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Stop it! Aghhh! Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :
Annie-- you have adware on your machine. This software is able to remove such things: http://security.kolla.de/ Another popular piece of software for the same purpose (it's okay to use both) is called AdAware. Both are free to use.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
Mine did too.
My brother-in-law is a pharmacist, and he had to watch a film or something about stupid people who take meds the wrong way. It showed someone spraying an asthma inhaler from arm's length and trying to catch all of the spray by bobbling their head around.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
"You know, every med I ever took for migraines said "May cause headaches." "
I am pretty sure that depression is a side effect of Prozac and Zoloft.
I forget the name of that medicine side-effect book(pharmacists?) but boy is it scary to read. You'll never want to take another pill! Liz
PS I love those commercial for drugs, where, at the end, the speaker rattles off about thirty side effects.
Posted by WheatPuppet (Member # 5142) on :
I once saw a package for a game controller that had the following warnings:
Do not keep it in hot, damp, or straigt of sunlight. Do not wash it with hand mixed the mess.
Posted by Gottmorder (Member # 5039) on :
quote:I've always liked the prescription pill bottles that say something like, "To be taken orally." Gee, I would never have thought of that.
Probably a warning for those who love suppositories. Posted by Alucard... (Member # 4924) on :
quote: I forget the name of that medicine side-effect book(pharmacists?) but boy is it scary to read. You'll never want to take another pill! Liz
The 2 most common are:
The Pill Book The PDR (Physicians Desk Reference)
Also, there is:
The Merck Manual
but I have a feeling you were thinking of one of the first two.
Posted by ae (Member # 3291) on :
a bag of peanuts says: "Caution, may contain traces of nuts."
Peanuts are not nuts. And as it states in the article, some people are so allergic to peanuts that even trace amounts (as lttle as 1/44,000 of a peanut kernel) can cause reactions leading to hospitalization or death.
There are people who are similarly allergic to nuts.
Here's the rub, many people who are allergic to peanuts can eat nuts. And many who are allergic to nuts can eat peanuts. A friend has been hospitalized for a walnut allergy (and since has shown signs of developing a pecan allergy). Her nephew has been hospitalized for a peanut allergy. Yet each can safely eat what the other cannot.
Unfortunately, the same equipment can be used to roast both nuts and peanuts, and often is. Leading to cross contamination between batches of nuts and batches of peanuts.
Hence the warning on peanuts "May contain nuts", and the warning on nuts "May contain peanuts".
[ December 23, 2003, 01:57 AM: Message edited by: aspectre ]
Posted by ana kata (Member # 5666) on :
Scientific American one time ran a great list of scientific warning labels. My favorite was this one.
"Warning: Use of this product in any manner whatsoever will cause an increase in cosmic entropy levels, hastening the eventual heat death of the universe."
There were some more funny ones too. I wish I could find them again.
Posted by ana kata (Member # 5666) on :
Warning: This Product Warps Space and Time in Its Vicinity.
Warning: This Product Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the Universe, Including the Products of Other Manufacturers, with a Force Proportional to the Product of the Masses and Inversely Proportional to the Distance Between Them.
Caution: The Mass of This Product Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight.
Handle with Extreme Care: This Product Contains Minute Electrically Charged Particles Moving at Velocities in Excess of Five Hundred Million Miles per Hour.
Consumer Notice: Because of the 'Uncertainty Principle,' It Is Impossible for the Consumer to Find Out at the Same Time Both Precisely Where This Product Is and How Fast It Is Moving.
Advisory: There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero Chance That, Through a Process Known as 'Tunneling,' This Product May Spontaneously Disappear from Its Present Location and Reappear at Any Random Place in the Universe, Including Your neighbor's Domicile. The Manufacturer Will Not Be Responsible for Any Damages or Inconvenience That May Result.
Read This Before Opening Package: According to Certain Suggested Versions of a Grand Unified Theory, the Primary Particles Constituting This Product May Decay to Nothingness Within the Next Four Hundred Million Years.
This is a 100% Matter product: In the Unlikely Event That This Merchandise Should Contact Antimatter in Any Form, a Catastrophic Explosion Will Result.
Public Notice as Required by Law: Any Use of This Product, in Any Manner Whatsoever, Will Increase the Amount of Disorder in the Universe. Although No Liability Is Implied Herein, the Consumer Is Warned That This Process Will Ultimately Lead to the Heat Death of the Universe.
Note: The Most Fundamental Particles in This Product Are Held Together by a 'Gluing' Force About Which Little Is Currently Known and Whose Adhesive Power Can Therefore Not Be Permanently Guaranteed.
Attention: Despite Any Other Listing of Product Contents Found Hereon, the Consumer Is Advised That, in Actuality, This Product Consists Of 99.9999999999% Empty Space.
New Grand Unified Theory Disclaimer: The Manufacturer May Technically Be Entitled to Claim That This Product Is Ten-Dimensional. However, the Consumer Is Reminded That This Confers No Legal Rights Above and Beyond Those Applicable to Three-Dimensional Objects, Since the Seven New Dimensions Are 'Rolled Up' into Such a Small 'Area' That They Cannot Be Detected.
Please Note: Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest That When the Consumer Is Not Directly Observing This Product, It May Cease to Exist or Will Exist Only in a Vague and Undetermined State.
Component equivalency notice: The Subatomic Particles (Electrons, Protons, etc.) Comprising This Product Are Exactly the Same in Every Measurable Respect as Those Used in the Products of Other Manufacturers, and No Claim to the Contrary May Legitimately Be Expressed or Implied.
Health Warning: Care Should Be Taken When Lifting This Product, Since Its Mass, and Thus Its Weight, Is Dependent on Its Velocity Relative to the User.
Important Notice to Purchasers: The Entire Physical Universe, Including This Product, May One Day Collapse Back into an Infinitesimally Small Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Reemerge, the Existence of This Product in That Universe Cannot be Guaranteed.
I found them here !
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
Oh...here's a weird one from a life saving device: "This is NOT a life saving device!"
[ December 23, 2003, 07:42 AM: Message edited by: Maccabeus ]
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Oh, Anne Kate, those are *fantastic*! I think I'll make labels with those on them and stick them on random things around the office. Hmmm...and maybe at the local mall, just for fun.
Posted by eslaine (Member # 5433) on :
Dat wus funny.
Tanks!
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
My old roommate bought a curling iron that said "Caution: Do not use on eyes."
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