Somehow, I thought this whole thing died out a long time ago. I know there are a lot of Christians here, and a lot of fantasy fans. Do you think that God condemns people who play D&D to hell? Personally, I think God has much more important things to do than smite 15-year-old boys in a darkened basement. And I'm seriously doubtful that D&D is a lure for satanism... But then, I haven't been around for very long, and I can't seem to find any even-handed articles. Does anyone have a more informed opinion?
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Hate it when that happens.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Ryuko-- this DID die out a long time ago. This chick tract is ancient-- I mean, look at the styles of clothing!
That's the real sin. . .
That said, I remember when RPG's and the fantasy genre as a whole came under fire back in the eighties. A number of incidents occurred involving teenagers cutting each other up in mock tourneys inspired by their D&D games. There were also a couple suicides and murders that got blamed on RPG's.
(Tom Hanks even starred in a made-for-TV movie about an RPG game gone wrong-- Mazes and Monsters, I believe was the name.)
Playing an RPG is a lot like having an internet personality. There are no rules governing how a person creates their "character." Although the fantasy element is often invoked as an excuse, I find it rare that someone will play a character with whom they do no sympathize in some way.
What does it say about you when you have utter freedom to be ANYONE and you choose to be a scumbag? When you have absolutely no physical, tangible responsability, no auditing force for your character composition, and you choose to perform a character that is evil?
Well, it might just say that you're trying to add spice to the game.
And it might just mean you have some serious issues to work out.
Or it might mean any number of things.
I do know that I am utterly incapable of playing straight neutral or evil characters. :shrug:
[ July 27, 2003, 06:05 PM: Message edited by: Scott R ]
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
Heheh. Yeah, but the guy updated his article in 2001, saying that D&D is still evil.
Just think what he'd have to say about the Fang of Lolth.
DM: You find a pendant. PC: I put it on. DM: You transform into a slavering spider-creature, the pendant melds into your neck, never to be released, and you feel an inextricable urge to serve the spider-mistress Lolth. Make a will save to see if you can resume your former form for one day.
Posted by eslaine (Member # 5433) on :
Are'nt there still Paladins in D&D. And clerics?
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
The writer of the articles at the end says that they're priests of pagan gods, and that they use magic, so they're still satan's doing, because God doesn't cotton to magic.
Ouch. This guy doesn't pull his punches either... He attacks everyone without aplomb. The Visitors That ought to show you Mormons to be different. (sour face)
[ July 27, 2003, 06:09 PM: Message edited by: Ryuko ]
Posted by eslaine (Member # 5433) on :
Well, not that anyone cares, but I don't cotton to magic either. Still: fun is fun. And something that can take you "outside the box" is valuable in it's own right.
I guess I'm agreeing with you.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Chick, whoever he, or they are, seems to me to be the type of Christian who would tear apart CS Lewis' Narnia series because it has "magic" elements in it, utterly unconscious that the books display Christianity in the most beautiful, simple light of any modern piece of work.
Wonder if he's scrawled a comic for it yet. . .
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
I don't want to look. The stuff I've already seen makes me sick.
Posted by Godric (Member # 4587) on :
Ah yes! The (in)famous Jack T. Chick!
He makes guys like Pat Robertson seem liberal. He's fundamental with a capital "F." I remember going out to "evangelize" on the street for school once (I went to a Christian "fundy" school) and we were handing out Jack's tracts. I refused to participate after reading a few of them and received a detention for my trouble. Apparently I was unconcerned about the pagan masses heading straight to hell. Of course, I was of the opinion that if this guy was any indication of the company heaven keeps I was doing the pagan masses a favor by not intoducing them.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
I really like the series of Catholics, Jews, Hindus, and Muslims facing God and getting sent straight to the lake of fire because they hadn't accepted Jesus Christ. Every one of them has a flashback about a Christian friend they had who tried to teach them the truth. Makes you wonder about the good Muslim who dies having never been "warned" that his religion was sending him straight to hell. Gee, that's sad. I feel like I should help these poor pagan masses - oh, but wait, I can't do anything good. No one can keep the 10 commandments. Oh well, at least I'm saved.
And I'm glad they pointed out the Mormon belief that the third of the host of heaven that followed Satan are born as blacks. Yeah, that's a real key part of our doctrine that most people miss. Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Having read and laughed at what Chick presents as Mormonism, I have no great desire to search his website either.
This actually popped up on this forum some time ago-- and if I remember correctly, Leto and TomD had some photoshop work done on the D&D tract to make it much, much better.
Well, funnier anyway.
Posted by HonoreDB (Member # 1214) on :
Hmmm...so have the scriptures that Chick quotes been officially repudiated by the Church?
Not that there's anything wrong with them, necessarily...does Chick know what the word "heaven" means when he professes horror at the Zolob quote? The Bible doesn't say anything about the kind of fifth dimension pocket universe he, Chick, seems to be picturing God in.
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
Do you guys really have secret hand shakes?
Posted by eslaine (Member # 5433) on :
Wouldn't certain sects believe that his attempt at drawing God be considered idolatry?
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Yeah, Thor, and I can teach you!
(Warning: it would damn you to hell)
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
The references to Jesus' multiple wives, marriage, Heavenly Father's polygamy, Blacks, the war in Heaven, are not scripture.
There's a lot there that is in some scripture that is misrepresented.
But the WORST mistake is in the missionaries' final scene, where the one elder calls the other elder by his first name.
Would never, ever happen. Absolutely unbelievable. He'd call him 'Stupid Greenie.'
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Actually, I think the best thing was the girl's look of shock when she said "They're Mormons".
Hobbes
[ July 27, 2003, 07:50 PM: Message edited by: Hobbes ]
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
My favorite part is: "Wrong, sir! Gluons are a made-up dream. No one has seen or even measured them... they don't exist! It's a desperate theory to explain away truth!"
I hate it when those physicists make up crap like the strong force. What are they thinking? They're just trying to damn us all to hell by positing that something holds atoms together.
[ July 27, 2003, 07:22 PM: Message edited by: Annie ]
Posted by Eaquae Legit (Member # 3063) on :
Wow. I never knew that by going to mass I was worshipping pagan gods. I think there's at least three tracts telling me why I am eating a "death cookie". Thank you, Jack Chick, for showing me the light.
The lack of understanding, fudging of history, blatant misrepresentation, and outright lies alternately make me want to burst out laughing and strangle someone.
I think I'm going to go bleach my eyes now.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
*has a headache* I hate that guy's tracks so much... They are hateful and scary.
Posted by eslaine (Member # 5433) on :
I think I'll buy this guy a subscription to the Flat Earth Society.
Will he ever take his head out of that hole?
Posted by Human (Member # 2985) on :
Good grief. I finally took a good look at his whole list of tracts...have you seen the ones for KIDS? I know they woulda given me nightmares...though now I just find them disgusting and somewhat funny. This guy gives Christianity a bad name. Though I must admit, I'd love to be his fact-checker. It must be the easiest job in the WORLD
Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :
*wipes away tears of laughter*
Wow that anti-evolution one was mis-informed. I think most of the stuff on his list of counter-evolution "facts" is lifted from the Answers-in-Genesis site -- from the list of stuff that's so flawed they tell creationists not to use it anymore (Answers-in-Genesis is a creationist site)!
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
It seems the best way to get people to believe is to tell them when they're too young to dis agree, hey, it worked for Communism.
Hobbes Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Ha ha ha! Love it.
"Gee, Chairman Mao is right!"
Hey, Mr. Chick, I think you just shot yourself in the foot with that one.
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
Apparently, in this guy's world, everyone is either fundamentalist christian, or in some dire need of saving. And of course, you're 'saved' just by saying you believe in Jesus.
Saver: Now say it! Savee: Jesus died for my sins, and I believe in him! Wow, that was sure a tingly feeling I just had. Saver: That means you're saved. It's as easy as pie!
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Um. . . the most disturbing thing I find about that particular tract is how EASY it makes missionary work.
The spreading of Christianity is not supposed to be easy. It is supposed to force the believer to commune with those who don't believe-- force them, in fact, to live in some small way, the pain of a life that isn't their own.
As Christ did for us.
Drop a leaflet, indeed.
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
The best part is how it's implied that people just pick up random comics on the street, read them, and then automatically believe they're true.
"Why, mutants exist all over the world, and save us daily from villains and disastrous circumstances? This is amazing, I should help them!"
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Are you saying they don't? *Innocent, pleading look*
Hobbes Posted by Xavier (Member # 405) on :
I don't believe in Hell, but if it exists, two people I am positive are going there are Jack Chick and Jerry Falwell.
I loved reading about the couple who did 50 years of selfless good deeds go to hell because they didn't convert anyone. If God really worked the way Chick thinks He does, then He wouldn't be worthy of my worship.
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
Sorry, dear. As wonderful as it would be if Wolverine really existed somewhere in this wide world...
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Ahh well, one more dream shattered.
<grin> Heck, I've never read X-Men nor seen the movies.
Hobbes Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
How can you blaspheme so and still smile!
Now there's one worthy of the pit of fire... Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
<grin> Just leave me out a leaflet and you can save me!
Hobbes Posted by Foust (Member # 3043) on :
Sometimes I have a hard time believing Chick tracts are anything but satire. They can be truly, truly hilarious. Their portrayal of gays, Roman Catholics and RPG games is just plain kitchy.
The women in that D&D tract are all waaaay too attractive to be RPG players.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
heck, they're all way too female to be D&D players
Posted by Foust (Member # 3043) on :
quote:Quoting Dr. Thomas Radecki MD, a psychiatrist at the University of Illinois School of Medicine: "The evidence in these cases is really quite impressive. There is no doubt in my mind that the game Dungeons and Dragons is causing young men to kill themselves and others. The game is one of non-stop combat and violence. It is clear to me that this game is desensitizing players to violence and also causing an increased tendency to violent behavior."
[ July 27, 2003, 08:52 PM: Message edited by: Foust ]
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Annie- that was priceless.
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
Of course, because saying, "I attack with my sword." and then rolling some dice is really really violent.
Hey... Wait, I play D&D... and am female... ;_;
[ July 27, 2003, 08:56 PM: Message edited by: Ryuko ]
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
I wonder if Dr. Thomas Radecki ever played Quake.
What is this i_i ?
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
If you mean this: ;_;, it's a sad, crying smily.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
We had a thread about this exact Jack Chick comic over a year ago. I wrote a parody of it, which is D&D3E compliant and can be found here:
Sorry.. ^^;; This thread was a while ago, so I'm not in trouble with the Hatrack N00b Patrol, right?
Posted by Godric (Member # 4587) on :
LOL! That was brilliant Tom!
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
By the by, LOL. I sent that to the friend that first called my attention to the strip.
Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
And of course, all translations but the King James Version are evil. (Beware footnotes! They are influenced by SATAN because they add to the Bible!)
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
Tom Davidson. That was great. Thanks.
Awesome. Maybe the best thing I've read here at Hatrack.
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
Oh yeah and...Photoshop is so cool.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
Egads . . . Jack Chick again!
quote:He's fundamental with a capital "F."
More like fundamental with a capital FU.
I sincerely hope nobody here takes anything this guy says seriously.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Jack was the kind of guy who put the "mental" in fundamental.
Posted by Geoffrey Card (Member # 1062) on :
Why doesn't Jack Chick notice that his tracts clearly idolize Communist dictatorships and the Nazis? I mean, we've got Chinese propaganda and book-burnings. What's next, goose-stepping Christian missionaries saluting Jesus under a swastika?
Posted by Slash the Berzerker (Member # 556) on :
Ummmm..
If the DM says "Now you're a satanist" do you get a saving throw?
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
Believe it or not, I've seen one tract even more disgusting than anything I've encountered in Chick's stuff. Years ago, the churches of Christ produced a series called "Teens Talk". Most of them were innocuous, but there was one called "Wild Oats and Harvest" that told about the Day of Judgement from the perspective of a girl in hell. Truly despicable description of the experience. I was embarrassed for us.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
I wonder if he really believes his work wholeheartedly. Almost makes me feel sorry for him. That Chick guy makes loving my neighbor a hard thing to do.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
It's basically Chick's response to Christians who are horrified by what he believes is perfectly justifiable stridency. Posted by Caleb Varns (Member # 946) on :
*lol* @ "creepy historic parallels"
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
You know, we really should have a Jack Chick parody contest on here, some time.
Posted by Bokonon (Member # 480) on :
x-entertainment.com used to do some great MST3K-style parodies... Until Chick, Inc. told them to cease and desist.
-Bok
Posted by asQmh (Member # 4590) on :
Jack Chick may qualify for the "Are you crazy" thread. He doesn't realize he's a wacko.
Persecution complex, a wee bit? Oy.
I'm in favor of a parody contest. . . and once I'm home from work, I fully intend to give it a chuck.
Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
Didn't Chick have a tract where Jesus fought another God back in the 70s? Now that was funny!
Posted by asQmh (Member # 4590) on :
quote:Many people hate Chick tracts...until they get saved.
You used to turn my stomach, now I support you whole-heartedly. From bondage to freedom (Catholicism to Christ) is what I praise the Lord for. North Carolina
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
quote:Your tracts planted the seed that led me to Christ. I was saved after seeing tons of tracts laying all over Wal-Mart while working, shopping, etc.
Like I needed another reason not to frequent WalMart...
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 619) on :
That rave review page is great! I wasn't sure if it was a parody or not.
For instance:
quote:Children are starting to be saved in Sunday School!
I am shocked--shocked I say!--to hear that children actually are being saved in Sunday School. Posted by Jacare Sorridente (Member # 1906) on :
I have learned some important things from Jack Chick!
The reason Frances was in hell was obviously because of her terrible couplet rhyming. I have seen the light! I will never write cheesy couplets about hell again!
Posted by Jacare Sorridente (Member # 1906) on :
I loved the part about the evils of Harry Potter:
quote: The very spirit of the book is teaching young children to be in rebellion of the rules, be in rebellion of authority, that they can have these powers themselves, that they don't have to be fearful, particularly at a time when many are coming from dysfunctional families, broken homes, the tragedy of September 11 and the chaos in the world. Children are being conditioned that they can look for power within themselves and start bringing some control into the things round about them by tapping into their own powers just like Harry does.
Heaven help our children if they ever learn that even if they are from dysfunctional homes they don't have to be afraid!
And the most wicked leasson of all- that children can tap into their own power and change things around them...<shudder> perish the thought!
Posted by Human (Member # 2985) on :
Of course it scares him...the last thing he wants is children looking around, and thinking about what is taught to them about religion and life. Because, at least when you believe what he does...think about it rationally, and it falls to pieces.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
Slash, that was a priceless reply to the thread topic.
I've seen Christian comic tracts around since I was a kid. I wonder how many have been Chick's creations? What a fanatic! Death to all fanatics!! Hmmm, that sounds a little fanatical...
[ July 28, 2003, 03:52 PM: Message edited by: Morbo ]
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
If you go to hell if you never convert anyone, Jack is on his way there.
On the other hand, if you go there for bieng a conciented, pompous, self-centered, delusional reactionary. He is also headed there.
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
Tell me I didn't just read that tract Tom linked me to. Tell me it didn't contain the line "Ugghhh...something smells like sulfur."
Please. Tell me that isn't true.
Posted by asQmh (Member # 4590) on :
If you deny the Truth, Belle, you'll damn your soul. It did indeed say "Ugghhh. . .something smells like sulfer." Now repent that you ever doubted!
Q.
[ July 28, 2003, 12:46 PM: Message edited by: asQmh ]
Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :
What I find particularly amusing is Chick's insistence that his message is "to be saved, the one and only thing that is necessary is to accept Jesus as your savior", yet he keeps tacking on all these other conditions, like no roleplaying, no Catholicism, no good works (well, it does seem like he says this at some points ), no rock and roll, and no bible other than the KJV (this condition I find particularly laughable).
Seems odd.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Well, he certainly is not doing it for the fame. . . and I don't see how he's making money on these things. Sincere belief is the only thing that he has going for him, and that's mired down in his complete misunderstanding of the Gospel.
I wonder if there is a REAL Jack Chick or if he's just an entity a corporation uses to spread the Word of Odd. Posted by Nato (Member # 1448) on :
quote:Chick.com decided to say...Now, obviously not all of this can be laid at the door of D&D. But in the 1970's, it was one of the major cultural phenomena that planted the seeds that have sprouted into Harry Potter and all the occult books and movies.
Tom, that was awesome. I'd seen that before, but forgotten about it.. Very nice.
Posted by asQmh (Member # 4590) on :
The man was once a professor at my university and says he's part of the same church I am. Oh. . .except that I'm female and therefore defective. And feminism is a cancer.
Among other things. Not for the weak of stomach.
Q.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
Q!
That is unbelievable!!
Actually, the essay I glanced over said feminism was satanic, not just a cancer.
quote: Indeed, there is no more important duty on earth than the very demanding job of rearing righteous children. And God has given this commission to womankind.4 In fact, notice Paul said that God considers this duty so vital that their very salvation depends upon it.
Oh, so I can only be saved if I have children? *rolls eyes*
Scary stuff.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
The best thing about Thor's link is that, in that one, Satan is so desperate to get back at an old biddy that he actually POISONS someone's drink -- personally -- at Mardi Gras. He doesn't tempt the young girl into sin; he doesn't persuade other people to harm her. He takes it on HIMSELF to slip her a mickey.
Posted by asQmh (Member # 4590) on :
Belle, according to the translation of the Bible that he himself did (so you KNOW it must be flawless), you are condemned if you so much as "act autonomously from a man."
So no more free-thinking for you, Missy!
Posted by asQmh (Member # 4590) on :
quote:If the DM says "Now you're a satanist" do you get a saving throw?
This, by the way, is stinkin' hilarious.
Also, Annie:
quote: He put the 'mental' in 'fundamental.'
I LOVE it.
This is probably why I can't quit hatracking.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
I heard a very disturbing bit on a Christian radio program that makes me think that perhaps the anti-feminism feeling in Christianity goes too far.
The speaker was teaching about the man presiding in the home. As an example, he recounted an anecdote about when he and his wife, yet unmarried went grocery shopping together. She'd place an item in the cart, he'd consider it, and then put it back on the shelf-- with this declaration:
"You don't need that."
No consultation was mentioned in the program; no mention of any health problems the woman may have been experiencing was made. He gave NO OTHER defense for his actions other than 'I know what's best for you.' And he knew best because he was a MAN.
Pssh. With friends like these, who needs enemies?
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Was the guy saying this was good behavior?
I mean, was he championing his behavior as a model? *blinks*
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
And more importantly, did she still marry the jerk?
Posted by asQmh (Member # 4590) on :
Mr. StillVoices of ye olde linkage would say he was behaving admirably, I'm sure. He'd also probably call to have dkw burned at the stake.
Q.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Well, she has got a wart.
Posted by Human (Member # 2985) on :
A witch, a witch! Burn her, burn her!
Posted by Godric (Member # 4587) on :
Hmmm...
Sir Bedevere: What makes you think she's a witch? Peasant: Well she turned me into a newt! Sir Bedevere: A newt? Peasant: I got better. Crowd: BURN HER ANYWAY!
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
I think the men should make all the decisions for you flighty, silly women.
Ralphie, jump in here and mop this floor. Belle, get me a beer. Celia, rub my shoulders. Katharina, cook me a steak.
Yeah, I could get used to this.
Posted by asQmh (Member # 4590) on :
My personal hero of biblical femininity is Jael, Dan.
Tent peg, anyone? ^_~
[ July 28, 2003, 02:50 PM: Message edited by: asQmh ]
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
You're gonna need that steak raw for when we're finished. *looks threatening*
[ July 28, 2003, 02:51 PM: Message edited by: katharina ]
Posted by Xavier (Member # 405) on :
Wow, Thor's one is a bout the lamest thing I've ever read. Its like something a four year old would come up with.
Anyway, I'm starting to think that this guy really is a nut-job. I mean, how else could any man be so self-righteous and arrogant? To believe that God is on your side, and everyone else is Satan's minion (including Catholics, Mormons, Muslims, Hindus, and anyone who reads a slightly different bible than he does).
Posted by asQmh (Member # 4590) on :
Would that be the Jack Chick nutjob? Or the Walter L. "Women are evil" Porter nutjob?
The adjectives work either way.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
All I have to say is, If Chick's tracks condemn my religion and taste in books/music, then I MUST be doing something right. And that is a comforting thought. Posted by T. Analog Kid (Member # 381) on :
quote:All I have to say is, If Chick's tracks condemn my religion and taste in books/music, then I MUST be doing something right. And that is a comforting thought.
A ringing endorsement of Catholicism if there ever was one... Posted by Sweet William (Member # 5212) on :
Someone please explain the logic to me of "You Don't have to do any works at all to be saved." I mean, you have to read (out loud) the little prayer on the tract. Isn't that doing something? Am I then participating in my own salvation?
The "no works" crowd had zero internal logic, IMHO. Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Q, that wasn't the type of steak/tent stake I was looking for.
There is one weapon that works well against these over prideful pious posturers. Laugh at them. They can't stand being laughed at.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
quote:A Conservative Version (ACV) of the Bible is available on our web site.
This is scarey.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
My favorite is the check boxes.
Are you saved? Check yes or no.
---
It's a powerful force, though, fundamental Christianity. There's a church here in Dallas that is in the news for two reasons:
1. It just broke from the MCC - metropolitan christian something - the mother church, anyway. Well, the g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-great-granddaughter church. --AND-- 2. It is the largest (out) gay congregation in the world.
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
quote: If the DM says "Now you're a satanist" do you get a saving throw?
Sure. But even if you succeed, if you don't zealously attempt to convert others to the "word of Christ" you're still going to hell.
quote: Hispanic love Chick tracts
All right! Who likes Catholocism anyway?
By the by, I wholeheartedly endorse a Chick Parody Contest.
[ July 28, 2003, 05:41 PM: Message edited by: Ryuko ]
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
quote: A ringing endorsement of Catholicism if there ever was one...
Silly endorse-depraved Catholic.
I must say though, as a rock-loving Potter-reading left-leaning Fantasy-playing latter-day saint, I'm surprised Chick's ill-drawn satanic minions aren't scratching my back as I type...
oh, a little lower, thanks.
I'm all for the parody contest as well, but I don't know how to get a web page onto our photo program, so I don't know if I can participate.
[ July 28, 2003, 05:55 PM: Message edited by: sarcasticmuppet ]
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
If someone can guide me to how to copy the original, I think I'm going to tackle the "mormon" one, although, don't worry, it won't be about Mormons, it'll be about Marmallows, those who worship the all powerful Marshmallow.
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
sarcasticmuppet, straight to the telestial kingdom with you, you rock-loving Potter-reading left-leaning Fantasy-playing heathen. Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Thor-
Just right-click on it and save it as a picture, import it into just about any program (heck, Paint will even work), and just block out the text with white rectangles and type over it.
Posted by T. Analog Kid (Member # 381) on :
Sarcasticmuppet, you have inadvertently finally given me an answer for the "what do you consider yourself?" thread:
quote:depraved Catholic
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
oh come on. "Endorse-depraved Catholic" is much better.
[ July 28, 2003, 06:05 PM: Message edited by: sarcasticmuppet ]
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
I couldn't save it. I've got to print it.
Posted by T. Analog Kid (Member # 381) on :
I do, indeed, endorse many depraved things...
<appeals to our hosts yet again for inclusion of the evil smiley>
Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
Why won't it save, T? Right-clicking the graphic should bring up the 'save picture as' option - and then tell 'er where you want to put it. That isn't working?
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
when I right click it and save as...
it says I don't have permission...
I'm printing one out as we speak...
maybe I can figure it out by the time I do another one.
Does Foobonic let us post stuff yet???
Posted by Eaquae Legit (Member # 3063) on :
*is a depraved Catholic*
And I am willing to post any parodies of Chick tracts on my website of anyone has problems getting them up themselves. Come to think of it, I may have some fun with one of the Catholicism ones myself. Or maybe the KJV one...
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
That Walter Porter needs to pay attention to his own "Second Mile" essay....*glares at his co-religionist*
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
I had this discussion with my husband the other day:
Me: You know that verse where Paul says "Wives, submit to your husbands?"
Him: Yep. Go get me another Diet Dr. Pepper.
Me: Shut up. No seriously, and the commandment for husbands is to love their wives as Christ loved the church, right?
Him: Yep. I love you.
Me: Well, I was thinking, the man is supposed to be the spiritual leader in the home, and he's supposed to emulate Christ as much as possible. Right?
Him: Um hmm.
Me: Well, Christ was the spiritual leader over the disciples, wouldn't you say?
Him: I'm scared of where this is going.
Me: And he showed his love of them through service, he washed their feet, remember?
Him: Oh no.
Me: I think you owe me quite a few pedicures.
Posted by Eaquae Legit (Member # 3063) on :
Mr. Still Voices needs to pay better attention to his website. The title that appears at the top of the window is "For Men Willing to Accept ALL of God's Truth". Okay, I'm a woman. Does this mean I'm exempt?
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
I love it, Belle Posted by Geoffrey Card (Member # 1062) on :
I'm relieved, Belle. I thought your husband was going to be DEAD by the end of that conversation ...
Posted by Geoffrey Card (Member # 1062) on :
How can someone possibly believe that each of our salvation depends on blindly accepting the word of an overbearing born-again Christian who comes out of the blue and says that we must do X and NOT do Y and Z in order to be saved? I mean ... I'd feel patronizing just trying to explain everything that's wrong with that!
Why do I need to do what you say? The Bible says so.
Why should I believe the Bible? Because ... um ... lots of people verified the stories in it.
Really? Where are their testimonies written? In the Bible.
That's convenient. Isn't it beautiful, how simple the Gospel is? Now, will you say the prayer?
I'd rather go to hell. Apparently, that's where intelligent, discerning people go. I don't think I could handle the low grade of conversation in heaven.
[ July 28, 2003, 08:34 PM: Message edited by: Geoffrey Card ]
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
Ok. The first half of my Chicky and the Mallows is done, where do I put it????
<<<my parody of The Visitors>>>
Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :
Thor: you need to turn off javascript, then go visit the page.
One of these pages should have the answer for you:
The best part is his assertion that the creation HAD to take place in seven 24-hour days, because if it didn't, the plants (day 3) would all have died before the sun (day 4) was created.
So ... The Genesis account is true because its arbitrary time periods line up with its arbitrary order of events?
[ July 28, 2003, 08:40 PM: Message edited by: Geoffrey Card ]
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
No Geoff, the best part was when he said that Adam knew he was doing wrong but ate the fruit anyways, despite the fact that Adam and Eve didn't know right from wrong before they ate the fruit...
Hobbes Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
*has a headache from reading those* It's stuff like that that just... arg >.<
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
I just sent my Jack Chick Parody to Equal Legit ( )
I hope you like it.
<T>
Posted by Geoffrey Card (Member # 1062) on :
A classic Jack Chick quote:
"Don't make the mistake of believing that good people go to heaven and bad people go to hell. That's a LIE straight from the devil!"
[from "Happy Halloween" ... emphasis his]
Let me paraphrase that:
"Welcome to my sick little world, where God is a childish, narcissistic bastard who doesn't love you as much as he loves to hear his own name. There is no justice in the world, and the only way to avoid eternal pain is to get in good with the guy in charge."
Was Jack Chick's theology formulated in Stalin's Russia or something? Hmm ... well, he does owe his tracting methods to Chairman Mao ...
Sorry, this guy pisses me off once every six months or so, and threads like this give me the chance to vent about it Posted by Eaquae Legit (Member # 3063) on :
I checked my email, and it doesn't look like I have it. Would you mind trying again?
eaquae_legit@hotmail.com
Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :
Make sure you keep that filesize small, Thor, hotmail is picky.
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
How small?
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
I tried again. How small must the file be?
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
About 1MB. Your might not be able to compress your file enough. I can try hosting it, which would give me an excuse to try and figure out what my non-hotmail e-mail is. Give a few minutes and I'd be happy to host.
Hobbes Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
OK Thor, give it a shot. This is a high school run service so the attachment is a chancy proposition but it technically should work.
wahra@babylonia.flatirons.org
Hobbes Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
Ok hobbesy, but I'm warning me, mine better be funny for all the trouble this is taking!
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
It has been sent.
Did you get it?
Posted by Eaquae Legit (Member # 3063) on :
I've got it and it is now being posted. I'll put the link in the parody thread.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
By the way, thanks for testing out my e-mail Thor, I've put that off for about 4 months now.
Hobbes
[ July 28, 2003, 10:28 PM: Message edited by: Hobbes ]
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
No. Thank you.
Hobbes and Legit.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
quote: A classic Jack Chick quote:
"Don't make the mistake of believing that good people go to heaven and bad people go to hell. That's a LIE straight from the devil!"
[from "Happy Halloween" ... emphasis his]
Let me paraphrase that:
"Welcome to my sick little world, where God is a childish, narcissistic bastard who doesn't love you as much as he loves to hear his own name. There is no justice in the world, and the only way to avoid eternal pain is to get in good with the guy in charge."
Honestly, I sort of understand why some people are atheists. These fundi-'mentals' ruin religion for everyone!
LOVE the parody Thor! I think I might write one about pancakes. Not just any pancakes, mind you, but Pat's SPECIAL pancakes.
If only I can figure out how to copy a website onto a paint program and email it.
Posted by WheatPuppet (Member # 5142) on :
I think that instead of making parodies to mock these people--or maybe along with making parodies, because parodies are always fun --we should come up with a well-worded essay in letter format to send. It will probably be futile, but, firstly, it might get a very interesting reply, and, secondly, we might actually shift their fortress of irrational beliefs slightly.
What to other people think?
If we're going to do this, I think we should have a bunch of core ideas that we want to cover, based on the tracks we've read and issues we want to bring forward. We could have several points, I'd personally like to see the following:
Roleplaying games -- I'm an RPG grayface through-and-through, of course I want to bring this up!
A defense of the LDS church -- I'm not a Mormon, but I like the Mormons and envy them in a few ways.
Flaws in faith -- Someone here must be able to point out the holes in scripture on the site. I know they're there, but I'm not versed enough to see them.
Closed worldview -- At least point out that there is no evidence that they're right and everyone else is wrong.
That's all I can think of for now, but I want to know if anyone else is interested. If a bunch of people sign their names, we'd at least be assured of a reply.
Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :
WheatPuppet: I can assure you that people such as this receive hundreds of such letters yearly. It only strengthens their resolve, because it shows them how the "great Satan" feels threatened by their work.
Posted by WheatPuppet (Member # 5142) on :
Are you talking about websites or images?
Entire websites (including images) can be captured by going to File and hitting Save, and usually there's a "save recursive" option which grabs all the images and other files needed to make the page work. Then it's just picking apart HTML and poking at the images a little.
HTML is one of the most non-scary markup languages out there. Just open the html file in a text editor, and you'll figure it out, I bet.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
fugu's right, wheat. Chick and Co. would burn it with all their other satanic paraphrenalia (dice, action figures, Spam, etc). Besides, if they admit to being wrong, their whole world would just collapse, and noone wants that...:::maintains straight face:::
What we should do is fight fire with fire. We should start our own comic. It worked in China, after all. Posted by T. Analog Kid (Member # 381) on :
Back to Belle for a second, who has hit on one of my pet peeves... I'd just like to point out that you are actually understating your case by a great deal. In The Four Loves, C. S. Lewis points out that the husband is supposed to give himself up as Christ did for the church-- as lewis extrapolates: "the ideal Christian Marriage is the one most like a crucifixion of the husband" and "the fairer sex need begrudge us neither of these crowns [sexual dominance and headship of the house] for one is of paper and the other of thorns."
Drastic view perhaps, but much more in line with Paul's words than the Southern Baptist Convention.
Posted by ak (Member # 90) on :
<laughs> I loved the suicide note best! That was so great! (In Tom's, I mean.)
[ July 29, 2003, 03:19 AM: Message edited by: ak ]
Posted by Ethics Gradient (Member # 878) on :
TAK, do you actually have the entire Lewis (and Chesterton) canon memorised or do you just have copies ready to hand? I'm actually asking seriously as you quote both of them frequently and at length.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
I have the entire name memorizied, does that count?
Hobbes Posted by T. Analog Kid (Member # 381) on :
CLose to memorized, yes...
I'm missing a couple of Lewis, and I haven't read Chesterton's most famous stuff-- The Father Brown mysteries...
Chesterton, especially, is very quotable... more so even than Einstein.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
TAK, I know what you're saying. There is no way I would trade my role in our marriage for my husband's. Things are as they are because they work best.
The conversation about pedicures was just supposed to be funny. I try my little jokes out on people usually before I write them up, to make sure they are as amusing as I think they are. I can be biased, you know. Posted by T. Analog Kid (Member # 381) on :
Oh, Belle, it *WAS* funny... it just happened to touch one of my favorite soapboxes... you know, the one where I get to pretend I'm a noble martyr hanging on the cross for my family when what I really want to do is say "bring me another beer, wench!" ;-)
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
For those instances, I'd keep a stock of nonalcoholic beer. Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
I could do a few parodies if I knew how these were created. Those "faith-only" bits are seriously irksome.
{Flaws in faith -- Someone here must be able to point out the holes in scripture on the site. I know they're there, but I'm not versed enough to see them.}
Wheatpuppet, I doubt it will do any good, but if you really want to try it I'm up for this.
[ July 29, 2003, 12:57 PM: Message edited by: Maccabeus ]
Posted by Jacare Sorridente (Member # 1906) on :
Hobbes- I just e-mailed you a parody, if you wouldn't mind posting it. It was a great deal of fun to make.
Posted by asQmh (Member # 4590) on :
Maccabeus, they're not only holes, they're gaping caverns. He uses the hunt-n'-peck method of proof-texting as well as laughable sources, particularly for his creationist evangelism.
He makes me pretty ill. Didn't get to do my parody last night, but I should have time this afternoon.
What I can't stand is the way every single one of them ends with person A explaining (once) to person B "The Way Things Really Are"(tm) and Person B not only GETS IT, but with a vengeance. *poof* Instant "christian." Complete with Crusade Kit and double-genuflect action!
Q.
[ July 29, 2003, 01:18 PM: Message edited by: asQmh ]
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
It looks like almost all of the supposed 'victims' are either old ladies or young girls. Am I adding 'closet feminist' to my list of sins, or is this a valid point?
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
On another note, this is the longest-running thread I've ever started! Go me!
[ September 09, 2003, 01:56 AM: Message edited by: Ryuko ]
Posted by T. Analog Kid (Member # 381) on :
Congrats Ryuko!
Q, LMAO... nice one...
Posted by asQmh (Member # 4590) on :
Donkeyshins, TAK . . . or whatever it is those Germans say. . . ^_^
I screwed up, though. Genuflecting, double or otherwise, would be frowned on. What I meant, of course, is that they each come equipped with their own 40 lb. study bible for guerilla evangelism. *thwap*
Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
Hey, Catholics - you know that Jack Chick has PROOF that the Pope (and his secret commander, the "Black Pope") are the Beast and Antichrists? Read all about it here!
Posted by Jacare Sorridente (Member # 1906) on :
I knew those dirty catholics were up to something when I saw them buying bibles! What could be more despicable than a catholic with a new bible?
Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
Reading through this thread has made me remember that TAK is a funny, funny man.
Posted by T. Analog Kid (Member # 381) on :
OMG! Catholic Masons! that is too funny...
Thanks for the compliment, Twink!
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
I love the part about how the Jesuits started Islam.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Jacare, I got your e-mail and I have all of your pictures on my computer now, along with a little html file to display them. However my ftp program isn't connecting to my website for some reason, so I'm going to restart and try to upload again. Assuming I get it to work, I'll post the link in the parody thread.
Hobbes Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
Reminds me of O.C. Lambert, one of our old preachers back in the 1950s. Lambert was hideously offended by Joseph McCarthy and his self-righteous anti-Communist crusade, so he wrote to some senators. He explained to them that McCarthy himself belonged to an organization dedicated to the overthrow of America and he had the documents to prove it.
Naturally the senators leaped on this--at the time, who wouldn't have? They asked him to send the documents pronto. He wrote back and asked where he should send the Roman Catholic books and papers.
When they didn't respond, he concluded, "The US Government is running scared of the Roman Catholic Church!"
Okay, it's pathetic, but it's still hilarious. Posted by Jacare Sorridente (Member # 1906) on :
Thanks Hobbes. You rule!
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
No I don't, because I can't get the ftp to work. Heck, I've even tried downloading a different ftp program and connecting from another computer but so far no luck. Which is werid because my mail all goes to the same folder I'm trying to acess (on the same server) and the mail is having no problems.
Hobbes Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
All right, I need to go for a few hours (to buy college stuff). I'm hoping that when I get back this will be working, or at least that I'll have gotten a response from the admin. Anyways, sorry about the delay.
Hobbes Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
(bump for Macc)
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
This reminds me... Icarus, ever made that parody you promised us?
Hobbes Posted by lcarus (Member # 4395) on :
I stopped working on it because stupid Ralphie took the same strip and almost the identical concept! Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
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