Hatrack River Forum: Guys with Tentacles and Other Attractive Fellows

This is topic Guys with Tentacles and Other Attractive Fellows in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.

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Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :

Don't ask me. Olivet brought it up.

Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :

Jenny+Olivet= trouble

[ August 06, 2003, 10:09 PM: Message edited by: Olivet ]

Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :

[Cry]

No tentacles here. 8 legs though.

Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :

Okay, my sister-in-law gave me a Laurell K. Hamilton book. Kiss of Shadows

I was telling Jenny that it made me feel better about my own novel, because it's really, really not anywhere near as twisted as that. I mean, there is a bit of sex in my novel, but no one has tentacles. And' she's considered Mainstream.

Jenny likes to embarrass me. [Blushing]

But it's okay, because, for some reason it feels like being teased by my sister.

All in fun. [Smile]

Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :

Sounds like this Laurell K. Hamilton is into anime pr0n. Gotta wonder about the Japanese sometimes!

Posted by Paul Goldner (Member # 1910) on :

Just your average, run of the mill, studmuffin, baker/chef here.

And I do laundry!

Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :

I do laundry and the dishes. But my wife likes to cut the grass, so I traded. Yet strangely, grass cutting is on my list this weekend. Hmm. [Cool]

Posted by Evie3217 (Member # 5426) on :

I just cut the grass for the 1st time in 2 wks, and mutliated the blade from running over my dog's bone

Posted by Evie3217 (Member # 5426) on :

Of course, I'll take any guy, tentacles or not....

Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :

What about lopsided ears and jello fixations? Or do you have to draw the line somewhere?

Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :

Darn it, star-bellied man! I am trying to have me have posted last on all the threads at the top and you are not making it any easier!!!!

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

Yeah, I dunno what's up with those Japanese folks and their fixation on ensuring that many-tentacled monsters get to have sex too.

Posted by Evie3217 (Member # 5426) on :

T- I can deal w/ lopsided ears, but it's the jello fixation that I have a bit of a problem w/

Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :

Isn't Hamilton only mainstream by the standards of soft-core horror porn?

Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :

"Yeah, I dunno what's up with those Japanese folks and their fixation on ensuring that many-tentacled monsters get to have sex too. "

They must have watched the same Discovery show I did. Those octopi are HOT.

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

But octopi don't use their tentacles for that purpose, right?

Right?

[Angst]

Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :

No, but they hold on to their mate with them.

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

True. Perhaps there's some influence.

If I can salivate at the thought of a sleek, sexy piece of computing hardware...

*drools*

Sorry about that. If I can salivate at the thought of a sleek, sexy piece of computing hardware, then others can salivate at the thought of being violated by tentacle monsters, I guess.

Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :

As well as their food...

I don't know what conclusion I'm drawing here, but I like it! (I think?)

Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :

TWINKY!

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

American pie what?

Edit: Yes, Elizabeth?

O : ) <---------- halo over my innocent head

[ August 07, 2003, 10:18 AM: Message edited by: twinky ]

Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :

Sooo... if they put some tenticles on some sexy, sleek computer hardware would that be a happy medium of sorts?

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

No. Tentacles attached to computers ruin the sleekness.

Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :

Twinky:
They ruin the sleekness of the tentacles or the computer?

(You are a fresh thing.)

Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :

Well, they put her on the mainstream aisles ay Barnes and Noble. I checked.

I thought it was wierd, though, Tom.

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

They ruin the sleekness of the computer. [Smile]

I like the minimalist look when it comes to gadgets and computers. They can be big, but they can't have a bunch of doohickeys everywhere. (Tentacles count as doohickeys.)

A fresh thing? *ponders the implications*

Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :

Actually, if I'm tracking correctly, squid do use their tentacles for _that_ purpose....

Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :

Like spiders.

The thing is, they are like spiders. All kidding aside about my warped attraction to them, it was one of the coolest shows I have ever seen. They act like spiders of the water. They do not spin webs, but they lie in wait and lure their prey. They can fit anywhere, like between rocks, and sometimes they will sneak up on the other side of their prey while looking them in the eye.

I would NOT want one chasing me.

Really!

<shivers>

[ August 07, 2003, 11:06 AM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]

Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :

Olivet, I'm so sorry. AOL crashed my computer last night when we were chatting. I wonder where those tentacle guys work?

:shifty eyes: They know! Gulp! Don't let them get me!

They might send one of those squid with retractable claws after me (they really DO exist in the deep deep sea). [Eek!]

Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :

Even with all the flooding you've had to deal with, I think you're probably safe. [Wink]

Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :

Octopus are really interesting creatures. I got to help feed some of the octopus when I worked at the Monterey Bay Aquarium a few years ago. It was really neat. They're very curious and they have a lot of personality.

Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :

S75,

I agree. I was amazed, watching this show. I think it was on Discovery. They really are the perfect sea creature, with their capabilities.

Actually, when I was watching it, I thought, hey, there really isn't a sci fi character or species based on an octopus. Sure, there is Squidward from Spongebob, but he is a stain on the family of squid.

Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :

Hamilton didn't start off soft-core horror porn. Her first four Anita Blake are actually quite engaging. Interesting milieu, intriguing characters, bad-ass female hero...they were fun reads.

The sex didn't start until book five, I think, and then it got steadily worse and worse until the last one I read was just whips and chains and people biting each other and jumping into any bed around. I gave up on her, and haven't even read the latest one in the series because I heard it was more of the same.

Shame - the first Anita Blake novels were really fun.

Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :

Okay, I read the one you're talking about Olivia, and Merry didn't have sex with tentacle guy. She thought about it, but coulnd't get past her personal revulsion with the tentacles.

So, a girl does have some standards, ya know? [Wink]

Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :

She was gonna do ... something ... before the hag attacked her, so Sholto's 'last touch of sidhe flesh wouldn't be one of revulsion.'

So, sidhe hump like crazed weasels. Got it. [Wink]

My problem is that my favorite sister-in-law said the second Merry Gentry book was really good, but that the one she gave me wasn't. So now, do I read number two or not?

Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :

am I the only one completely squicked out by this thread? o_O

Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :

NO.

Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :

*whew*

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

Whips and chains and biting?

[Evil]

Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :

I think it is the whole tentacle issue that people are having a hard time with.

I mean, with tentacles, who needs whips and chains?

Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :

The second one I think has a better plot. But, some of the squickiness is still there. I mean, she's got to conceive a child or she'll be killed. So there is a lot of sex going on.

Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :

My point to Jenny was the former Baptist guilt I was feeling about have written a wee bit o' nookie is now completely absolved.

I no longer have the fear that it would be seen as smut. It's important to the plot and character development, and very tame by most standards, I think.

Of course , as Belle has pointed out, the plot of Merry Gentry's story is basically an excuse for sex, but whatever.

My eyes have been opened as to the nature of smut. Not that there is anything intrinsically wrong with smut, but I am relieved that I no longer worry about my story seeming like smut. [Evil]

Though I suppose that's all relative.

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

[ROFL]

Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :

What? I thought all guys had a tentacle or two...

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Does that make me... weird?

Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :

Belle on the Anita Blake novels:

quote:
The sex didn't start until book five, I think, and then it got steadily worse and worse until the last one I read was just whips and chains and people biting each other and jumping into any bed around. I gave up on her, and haven't even read the latest one in the series because I heard it was more of the same.

I still enjoy the Anita Blake novels, although not as much since the focus has gone more and more to the sexual. It's actually gotten where the only non-kinky character in the series is the assassin and sociopath, Edward.

Book nine, Obsidian Butterfly, took a break from Anita Blake's escapades, but introduced one really sick character that I really really hope doesn't show up again.

Belle, thanks for the heads up on the second Merry Gentry book. I haven't bothered to go read it, since I didn't enjoy the first all that much.

Posted by Chaeron (Member # 744) on :

Actually, Twinky, you will no doubt be disturbed to know that Octopi do in fact use their tentacles for that purpose. One tentacle on the male is the hectocotylus, a modified appendage that is the equivalent of the penis. It is via this appendage that the male transfers sperm to the female.

Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :

You know, every time I see the title of this thread come up, my mind immediately goes to this scene from Better Off Dead:

quote:
Monique: He thinks because I do not speak English I am his love goddess, his prostate. No. His prostitute.
Lane: Holy shit! You big faker. You speak English!
Monique: Of course I speak English. I speak very good English. I will not, however, speak Mrs. Smith's International Language of Love, with her reptilian son.
Monique: He uses it as a chance to put his testicles all over me.
Lane: His what?
Monique: How you say?uh, octopus?testicles.
Lane: Tentacles. NT. Big difference.
Monique: Tentacles.

When I was in Jr. High, I probably watched that movie three or four hundred times.

[ August 15, 2003, 07:27 PM: Message edited by: Noemon ]

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

o_O

Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :

"Actually, Twinky, you will no doubt be disturbed to know that Octopi do in fact use their tentacles for that purpose."

Oh, no, I don't think Twinky will be disturbed by this. That is what disturbs me.

Posted by xnera (Member # 187) on :

My worlds are colliding. Stop it.

And in other colliding worlds, a user on a website I visit once had this to say about Anita Blake novels:

quote:
Betsy, on Anita Blake's behavior in recent books:

Boink city is the least of it. She's lying naked at the intersection of Hello and Sailor with her legs wide open.

[ August 16, 2003, 11:08 PM: Message edited by: xnera ]

Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :

My worlds are colliding as well. I was watching Spongebob with my son this morning. Squidward was sick of living next to Spongebob, and saw an ad on TV that said:

Tentacle Acres: Happiness is Just a Tentacle Away.

I could not explain to my son why I was laughing so hard. It just wouldn't have been right.

Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :

Gee, and I always had a problem with the name "Squarepants".

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

It takes quite a bit to disturb me [Smile]

Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :

To coin a phrase some of you may remember from Seinfeld, and changing it to work for tentacles:

"Oh, by the way: they're real, and they're TENTACULAR."

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

[ROFL]

Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :

Thanks, Twink.

Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :

Ron bought the second season of Futurama on DVD. We watched the one where they sneaked into the Watergate hotel to steal Bender's body back from Richard Nixon's head.

Er, anyway...

The bed had a sign next to it that said, "Magic Tentacles: Thought Activated."

As soon as Fry saw the sign, the little 'thought activated' light came on, and the Tentacles came out and flung him around, a la that scene in Men in Black.

And I thought of this thread, and how it doesn't seem to want to die. [Angst]

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

I love Futurama.

Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :

Is Futurama still on?

I love Spongebob.

Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :

Futurama has been cancelled. [Frown]

But, if you like scifi, then you might appreciate the wonderful scifi parody/comedy that was Futurama. [Smile]

Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :

"There were other women, but I never got past one."
"You mean first base."
"No, no, I mean one. You see, we have six a .. we have six, you see, and each one is a different level of intimacy and pleasure. So, you know, first you have one, and that's naa-naa. Then there's two .. and by the time you get to five it's ..."
"All I can say is that enthusiasm, sincerity, genuine compassion, and humor can carry you through any .. lack of .. prior experience with .. high numerical value."
"Wow, I'm gonna remember that. Thank you, thank you."
Vir and Ivanova, Sic Transit Vir, Babylon 5

This 'tentacle' thread reminded me of this...

Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :

So, are you saying there is a hierarchy of tentacular pleasure?

edit for correct spelling of the pretend word "tentacular."

[ August 18, 2003, 02:40 PM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]

Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :

Olivet, this thread was almost sent to to Page Two. Not gonna happen, sorry. I plan to make tentacle jokes for years.

bwa ha ha ha ha

Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :

oy.