My parents got him from the human society while I was at one of my basketball games. I came home to a white fuzz ball of a puppy with cinnamon color spots. He looked up at me with the face of a golden retriever. He went for three days without an official name. After those days, we defaulted to "Buddy" because we'd been calling him that anyway, and it was the only name mom would okay.
He became my dog.
I trained him at the National Guard Armory, a forty then fifty pound dynamo being led by a ten year old girl. He listened. He trained well.
One morning, a week before Christmas, we awoke to Buddy peeing on the Christmas tree. We couldn't yell at him--it was a tree. He probably figured we'd installed an indoor bathroom just for him.
He was an escape artist. He hated being kept indoors during the day. If we kept him in, he would bark and pace and whine until we put him out on his runner. However, he'd manage to get off his runner when we were out during the day and be sitting in the carport when we arrived home, giving us a look of, "What took you so long?"
He hated the rain. He would hold his body functions until it stopped raining. One day it was 1pm and he'd yet to go outside. I let him up from the basement (it was cooler down there) and opened the sliding glass door for him. He looked at me, looked outside, looked at me again, turned and went back downstairs.
I guess he didn't have to go too badly.
He hated baths. He got them bi-weekly and I would have to wrestle his eightly pound frame into the bathtub. Then he'd glare at me while i washed him, shook and splashed around as much as possible, so it was hard to tell who exactly had the bath. When he was done and dry, he would lick me and wag his tail, as if to say he was sorry for all the trouble, he'd forgotten what it was like to be clean.
He watched over me when I was sick.
He protected me from my father when he tried to hurt me, Buddy would attack him. He got a beating for it and I screamed when I heard him cry.
He licked my tears when I cried.
He gave me what my parents did not--unconditional love.
He passed away in his sleep last night at fourteen.
I'm sorry, mack. Posted by Ela (Member # 1365) on :
(((hugs mackillian))
I am so sorry, Jamie.
**Ela**
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
((Mack))
Incidentally you should add that bit to your book. ((Mack)) AJ
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
(((mack)))
Posted by T. Analog Kid (Member # 381) on :
rest easy, Buddy...
Posted by Vána (Member # 3262) on :
I'm so sorry, Mack.
I cried and cried when my dog passed last month. His name was Petey - he was a Dalmatian mix, 15 years old.
Go ahead and cry, Mack, and remember him always.
Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
((Mack))
Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :
(((mack)))
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Dogs are the avatars for all that is good and true in this world.
((((Mack))))
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
((((((mack))))))
[ August 13, 2003, 01:36 PM: Message edited by: ludosti ]
Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
(((((mack)))))
Now I'm sorry I talked about MY dog with you the other day. I'm here to talk if you need it, okay?
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
I'm so sorry.
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
Oh my god, mack, I'm so sorry!!! I have no idea what I'll do when my dog Tallulah inevitably reaches that end... I know it was hard enough for me to leave my dog in England when I moved away. I cried and cried. Oh geez, I'm even crying now.
(((((((((((((((((((((Mack)))))))))))))))))))))
I am so so sorry... I hope everything goes easier for you.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
I'm sorry...
Posted by asQmh (Member # 4590) on :
That's awful! I'm so sorry!
Q.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Jamie, I'm so sorry. He was a good, good friend, and I know he knew you loved him.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
He was an important dog, Jamie. I'm sorry you lost him.
::hugs Jamie::
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
I'm so sorry mac. I've lost many dogs over the years, but two of them I've never gotten over; I still feel like crying when I think of them. I'm not saying I know what you're going through. Everyone's grief is their own. But I am sorry. Your post was a great tribute to him.
Posted by Amka (Member # 690) on :
hugs to mack. I know its hard.
Posted by ak (Member # 90) on :
I'm so sorry about Buddy. There will never be another him. I know you'll miss him.
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
(((((mack)))))
So sad, but such a beautiful memorial post. I'm sorry, mack.
Posted by kwsni (Member # 1831) on :
(((mack)))
Ni!
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I am sorry, Mack.
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Oh, mack -
(((mack)))
I'm sorry -
Posted by Avadaru (Member # 3026) on :
(((((((((((((mack)))))))))))))
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, Mack. My dogs are my best friends and I don't know what I will do without them when the time comes. Buddy sounds like an incredible dog - you were lucky to have eachother. *hugs*
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
I'm so sorry. ((((((((((mack))))))))))
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
(((((mack)))))
I have as yet unfortunately not met very many truly great dogs. It sounds like yours was one, and I'm sad not to have met him.
Posted by Zotto! (Member # 4689) on :
(((mack))) Posted by LadyDove (Member # 3000) on :
((mack)) I'm sorry for your loss.
Good dogs prove to us not only that we're lovable, but that it's okay for us to love in return. Acting on that lesson is a tribute to the pet, and to yourself.
((mack))
Posted by larisse (Member # 2221) on :
Mack,
I am sorry that you lost your longest running friend. Whatever right is in this world will still have him watching over you and protecting you through out your life. (Although, I am sure you'd rather have him there at your side.)
{{{{{Mack}}}}}
Posted by JaneX (Member # 2026) on :
((((Mack))))
Posted by tonguetied&twisted (Member # 5159) on :
(((((Mack)))))
Posted by accio (Member # 3040) on :
I am so sorry for your loss of Buddy. His sprit lives with you forever. Just look at his favorite spot, he is there for you. He even makes some noise and let you know he is with you. You gave him a wonderful life.
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
Posted by Sopwith (Member # 4640) on :
Awww Mack, I'm so sorry. I got a cocker spaniel, Shamus, for my sixth birthday and he passed away when I was in college fifteen years later. It's tough to lose one who has been such a big part of your life.
((((Mack))))
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
"Good dogs prove to us not only that we're lovable, but that it's okay for us to love in return. Acting on that lesson is a tribute to the pet, and to yourself."
How true. The grief of losing a pet is the purest grief of all, untainted by all those tendrils of guilt that connect people to each other, and which are hard to resolve after the death of the person.
Posted by TwosonPaula (Member # 5511) on :
Having a dog to love touches your life in a wonderful way. It's so tough to lose them, but you know you were better off because you had them.
I'm very sorry.
[ August 13, 2003, 09:43 AM: Message edited by: TwosonPaula ]
Posted by BookWyrm (Member # 2192) on :
My condolences Mack. But remember that Buddy will be waiting for you on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
"Also, pets can often be truer friends than any person."
True, and it is often hard to express to others how sad you are because they think, what is their problem? It is just a dog, cat, whatever.
Posted by Fitz (Member # 4803) on :
You're right Elizabeth. Sorry about you terrible loss, Mackillian.
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
Sorry that had to happen, Jamie. Posted by Wendybird (Member # 84) on :
I'm so sorry Jamie. What a beautiful memorial you've created for him. I especially enjoyed the picture of him peeing on the Christmas tree. That made me smile through the tears welling up.
((Jamie))
Posted by Dead_Horse (Member # 3027) on :
Sorry, Mack. I know it's hard to lose a friend like that. Heck, it's hard to get a friend like that.
Good dog, Buddy.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
((mac)) Unconditional love is rare and precious.
Posted by Dead_Horse (Member # 3027) on :
I like the idea that Buddy came from the
quote: human
society. It may have been a typo, but it applies to dogs more than people sometimes.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
My bad, dead_horse
And thanks to you all.
A question: what exactly holds a family together? On describing my dog and his place in my family, and my family's current situation entirely as a non-family (my little sister lives with her boyfriend, dad lives alone in the house and won't talk to me, mom moved out a year ago and lives with her boyfriend and won't speak to me or my sister, I live two hours away and refuse to speak to either of my parents, but will talk to my sister), I was told, "I think Buddy held your family together. He was the only true part of it."
And I think that's an apt description of my non-family.
But what is normal family interaction? Being a social worker, I work almost entirely with dysfunctional families and sick kids. These kids and their illnesses threaten to tear apart the fabric of the families they live in. But in some way, they manage to hold themselves together. Perhaps through unconditional love? There are parents who make mistakes, parents who are overwhelmed, undereducated, don't know what to do. However, they love their children and it is always, always obvious when the love is there.
Brettly and Ela, Amka and Belle, Olivia and Patrick...heck, all of the Hatrack parents take a great deal of interest in the lives of their children. They find them fascinating people (so I can see).
How is it that my parents don't have the least bit of curiosity in what I do?
I'm not whining. I'm intensely curious. They are very, very different from parents I know and parents that I work with. How common or uncommon are they?
Posted by Alucard... (Member # 4924) on :
Mack,
Sorry I got here so late. I am very sorry for you. But I feel compelled to tell you that we have way too much in common to be coincidence. I too have a golden retriever pup after my first one was put asleep way too early her life due to cancer.
I cried. The vet that put her down took one look at me and started crying too. I truly love that man, BTW. But I can feel a part of the pain you are going through and it is so hard.
I hate to muddy personal experiences with comparisons, but it ended up that after 2 years I suprised my 5 year old son with a new golden pup on his birthday. It was a hard decision to make. But when you are at peace with the loss of Bud, in time, revisit the decision to get another dog. I hope that if you do, that you are rewarded as much the second time as the first. Sure the dogs will be different, my two were like opposites even though they were the same breed, but they were and are equally rewarding in their own way.
As for the non-involvement of your parents, I can only say this. My wife went through her parents' nasty divorce. Her brother still does not speak to either parent after 10 years. Her dad was recently diagnosed with a terminal disease, and he has had a reawakening of sorts. She discovered that after all the bad that had happened between her and her father and between her father and mother that her dad did actually love her underneath all the pain and suffering. I guess in his own way, to avoid her all those years was easier than facing the pain of reconciliation. But with his hastened departure from this world, he had felt compelled to do right, and I admire him for that.
But it was not always rainbows and sunshine.
I am not a deeply religious man in that I do not pray regularly or devoutly, but when I do pray, I am as earnest and sincere as I was as a 7 year old kid during my First Communion. I hope and will pray that your situation improves. I have a feeling that it will, and I hope it comes soon. From what I have shared with you, it sounds like you are long-overdue for some good things to come your way...
Hang in there, we will be here when you need to get something out of your system.
[ August 17, 2003, 04:04 PM: Message edited by: Alucard... ]
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
(((Mackillian)))
I wouldn't trade my moments of fun with my first dog for anything in the world. She lived to be 17 and it still hurts (6 years later). But the sadness is better than never having had a pet like her (or your Buddy). What a great thing, to have that unconditional love and try to be worthy of it.
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