So I'm with my parents at work and my mom's on the phone with her friend. They're obviously talking about a mutual friend who will soon die. After they're done I find out that doctors give my uncle (parents' friend) six months to live.
A few hours later my brother finds out and tells me, "Uncle ___ is gonna die..." I tell him that I know and it doesn't really matter to me because I don't really know him. My mom then tells me I'm cold.
I barely know this man. I've heard his name mentioned maybe once a year. I've been around him ten to twenty times in my eighteen or so years, so roughly once a year. Actually it's less than that. I think ten times is more accurate than twenty.
I'm just psychoanalyzing myself here. And I'm wondering what you think too. I mean, I understand how anyone would think I'm cold. Heck, I'd say I'm cold. I feel like I'm coming off as cold because of my frank honesty. I guess my question is: Is it so wrong for me to not care very much?
Posted by Paul Goldner (Member # 1910) on :
Not really. Don't worry about it... you don't know the guy, so his death is an abstract, not personal.
Posted by Dead_Horse (Member # 3027) on :
It's perfectly reasonable.
However, in the event you'd like to be supportive of those who know him well and are saddened by the inevitability of his loss, you may want to employ some tact in discussing the event.
Saying something like, "I'm sorry I don't know him better, and I know you will miss him," would perhaps be more appropriate.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Well, you're absolutely justified in not wanting to express emotions that you aren't feeling, but do keep in mind that you're interacting with people who are loosing somone that *they* care deeply about. People that you presumably care about are in pain. If I were in your position, I'd be feeling the need to support and care for them in what has to be an incredibly sad time.