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The Verizon customer service rep, sweet as a scoop of ice cream, gently disagreed. I had not paid the current bill, the rep explained. I had, in fact, paid the old bill.

But the date on the bill I just paid was for the month that hasn't even ended yet, I said. That's right, the Verizon rep cheerfully agreed. That's the old bill.

How could the bill for the present time be the old bill? I said. Then what on Earth comprised the eight pages of my current bill? Behavioral predictions from psychic hotlines?

The current bill is for the month going forward, the wireless rep said. The billing cycle that would start in three days.

Let me get this straight, I said: The bill from last month, up to and including the present day, and including the next three days, is the old bill. And the current bill, which is now overdue, is for the month not yet begun.

That's right, Verizon said.

So the calls I am making now exist in the past, at least the past as manifested in the universe of your billing department, I said. And the service I will have, beginning in three days, and ending more than a month from now, is my current service, in this alternate universe. And the current bill, for this theoretical service, is now past due.

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and it get's funnier.
 

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Posted by qsysue (Member # 5229) on :
 
Ha, that is funny. I like this guy's style!
 

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Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
 
I knew a guy who had verison. I figure out why that guy in the commercials is always walking around saying, "Can you hear me now?" It's because the reception is so crappy on the other end, that's pretty much all they can say. I got sick of it and when this guy would call, I'd tell him to call back on a landline. Not that he was calling for me. He's a friend of my husbands. I'm just obnoxious.

[ August 19, 2003, 10:44 AM: Message edited by: Kayla ]
 

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Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
 

 

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Posted by Sho'nuff (Member # 3214) on :
 
Kayla, that's interesting because Verizon has the best service/reception out there. I've had both Voicestream and AT&T after Verizon, and both of them pale in comparison.
 

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Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
 
Strider, we got cell phones from Verizon with the intent to do away with long distance on our landline. We got our brand new Verizon phones home and realized that reception at our house was lousy.

It all depends on who's got towers where.
 

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Posted by Sho'nuff (Member # 3214) on :
 
true, if you are anywhere in the North East Verizon is infinitely better than any other service.

My voicestream used to literaly drop 50% of my calls sometime during the conversation. And there were only 3 spots in my apartment that i could stand and talk, without moving. otherwise i had to go outside.

[ August 19, 2003, 11:10 AM: Message edited by: Sho'nuff ]
 

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Posted by eslaine (Member # 5433) on :
 
It's true then. The phone company has broken the laws of physics!

Where's a time cop when you need one...?
 

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Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
 
That's a funny story, Sho'nuff (Strider?) Charter, my cable ISP, is almost that bad-- I pay on the 30th for a month's service that starts on the 22nd. But what really infuriates me about Charter internet is they charge a completely unadvertised fee: a "HSD access" fee of $10 per month. Near as I can tell, this is a penalty fee because I don't have cable TV.
Whatever.
 

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