OK, I am opening the first online pharmacy here on Hatrack. Simply tell me your ailment, and I will make my best recommendation.
For example, if you were feeling tired today, I would recommend Provigil 200mg.
Disclaimer: This is supposed to be light-hearted and fun, as I do not expect to have fellow Hatrackers discuss personal history or anything private in nature. Any recommendations are meant as humorous and not meant to be offensive to anyone directly or indirectly!
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
My ailment is that I can't seem to stop flipping life off. Do you have anything that will stop me from flipping people off?
--|--
Posted by Alucard... (Member # 4924) on :
It depends on whether you want to involuntarily drool or not...
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
Hmmmm... how would my sex life be on this medication?
((Alucard, I'm setting you up so please take this or I will be disappointed)
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Nathan - Like your sex life is currently: frustrated and more frustrated.
I need something to prevent this serious condition. What do you recommend?
Posted by Alucard... (Member # 4924) on :
OK, T the answer is obvious:
A high-fiber diet.
P.S. I am also recommending the new Viagra transdermal patch. This should help with the constant hand gestures directed at the rest of the world.
Posted by Alucard... (Member # 4924) on :
Ralphie,
Abbott Labs has come out with Meridia-F, which is a snaxamine-2 receptor inhibitor. Evidently this drug plugs fritoceptors with micronized pork rinds, which have 3000X the binding capacity of Lays Brand snack foods.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
You are a brilliant man, Alucard.
Posted by Alucard... (Member # 4924) on :
Flattery gets you everywhere, but somehow, I think you already know that!
BTW, I nearly choked on the saltine cracker I was eating when I read your link. That was HILARIOUS!!! Thank you Ralphie, you made my day.
Posted by popatr (Member # 1334) on :
I have this thing where I can't work up any enthusiasm to do the stuff I know I should.
Like get a job. Buy my school books. Do my homework. etc.
What do I need here?
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
a swift kick in the...um...tush? Posted by Alucard... (Member # 4924) on :
A swift kick in the pants.
Oh I am also working on a Prozac Slurpie and a Prozac Renuzit air freshener which will be out sometime in the 4th quarter. This MAY be an option...
You see a corporation, which is not to be named, did a study to see if Prozac would increase productivity in the workplace. It did, according to the study, but as for me finding it, that is a challenge in itself.
If you have a flavor preference in the Slurpie, I have Grape, Orange, Cherry, and Blue Raspberry.
Posted by popatr (Member # 1334) on :
I think I've had some of those before. Allergic.
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
I keep leaving Hatrack to pursue information on the web about Maurice La Marche (using my nifty new google toolbar!)
Edit: and I'm having trouble spelling "pursue"!
[ August 30, 2003, 04:52 PM: Message edited by: Erik Slaine ]
Posted by Alucard... (Member # 4924) on :
Erik,
This sounds like a mild case of ADD, coupled with a mild sleep order brought on by watching the Sci-Fi channel to catch back episodes of The Twilight Zone.
I recommend my newly compounded Ritalin Roll On, with an evening nightcap of any light beer. Heck make that 2 beers, and invite me over if you need help drinking them.
Posted by Alucard... (Member # 4924) on :
popatr,
This is the 21st century. We just go ahead with therapy that causes hypersensitivity, and just give MORE drugs to suppress your immune system and block the histaminic reaction.
I recommend Prednisone 80mg daily for now at least, and Atarax 50MG every 6 hours as needed. It would also be a good idea to add some Nexium 40mg due to the stomach upset from the prednisone.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
*snicker*
*sleepy*
Posted by Dead_Horse (Member # 3027) on :
Where do I sign up?
Oh, wait, I have plenty of drugs...I just forgot to take them this morning.
<----Mackillian
Rain
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
hahahahahaha.
I think alucard would find it fascinating the amount of drugs I'm on for someone my age who, from the look of things, is fairly healthy.
lamictal, 50mg bid (which just got upped and is why I'm so freaking tired today), nexium 40mg, minocin, 100 mg bid, differin gel (though I'm convinced that both of them have stopped working for some reason), nasonex, claritin, atarax at night for sleep ( ). Oh, and bextra. Sheesh. Worse than a little ol' lady.
My former psychiatrist (the one we all agreed wasn't very good) seemed to focus on one symptom at a time.
Like when I wasn't sleeping, she decided to try out zyprexa. I slept for literally 32 hours straight. I called and complained once I'd regained consciousness, having lost two days.
Her words, "Well, you slept, right?"
"I lost two days."
"But you slept!"
Since then and further trials with other atypical antipsychotics (risperdal, seroquel, geodon) we've established that that type of drug makes me sleep for long periods of time, and after I wake up, I'm stupider than usual for a few hours.
Posted by Alucard... (Member # 4924) on :
Mack,
I have a patient on 30 meds per month. You are doing fine, but you might want to try my new and improved kobasawa insoles with Patented Wheathusk Technology that keeps your feet dry and comfortable all day long.
Have you tried the Shemp-o-matic Anesthetic for sleeping? (if you have never watched the 3 stooges, this is a BIG mallet).
That sounds like sound medical advice: 1 mallet at bedtime, as needed. I guarentee you will not sleep 32 hours, or your money back!
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
I'll come after YOU with that mallet, Alucard. Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
I think the roll-on is having it's effect, but I can't seem to leave this thread.... Posted by eslaine (Member # 5433) on :
I seem to have gender indeterminancy issues...
Posted by ak (Member # 90) on :
I need to get some free samples or something of Protonix, Vioxx, and Avandia to tide me over. I didn't get my COBRA papers filed in time and my coverage lapsed. It should be back in effect in 2 to 3 weeks, they said. All three of those drugs are quite expensive, though, and I can't afford to refill them in the meantime.
Hook me up, Alucard, please? Posted by Alucard... (Member # 4924) on :
ak,
That is a terrible feeling and I know how expensive those meds are. This is a terrible week for me because I am on vacation moving and will not be in the office much, but I will see what I can do...! Posted by Jaiden (Member # 2099) on :
My turn! I am having horrible allergies.
I am at present taking Extra Strenth 24 Hour Relief Reactine (OC in Canada, i'm not sure if it is in the states). (10 mg Cetirizine Hydrochloride).
I changed to that because the Claritin Liberator I was taking wasn't working. (Claritin Liberator = 24 hours and OC. 10 mg loratadine and 240mg pseudoephedrine).
I always take 24 hour meds at about 11:00 at nigh. But I can't seem to find one that works for me this year!!! I always wake up at 6:00-7:00 am, stuffed nose, sneezing, itchy/sore throat, itchy red eyes and by the time it hits 11:00 am I have used up half a box of kleenex.
Help me! I beg you! I'm going back to school on Tuesday (culinary and management), and I'm positive people don't want me sneezing into what I'm making!!!
*puppy dog eyes* Please help me?
*sniffles*
Posted by jebus202 (Member # 2524) on :
Alucard...! Quick there's an epidemic loose, a serious ailment known as Jebus-craze. Symptoms are light headedness, fluttery stomach and weak knees. Ralphie and celia have already caught it!
Posted by Jaiden (Member # 2099) on :
*glares at Jebus*
It's my turn!
Posted by jebus202 (Member # 2524) on :
But it's an epidemic! Oh no, you might have caught aswell!
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
My post is now touching Jebus's. I think I may have contracted Irish, as I now crave inhuman amounts of Guinness and am attempting to sing drinking songs, rather incomprehensibly.
I'm also inordinately angry at those kids who've made off with me lucky charms.
What drug do you suggest?
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
Ralphie, they've made off with those lucky charms long ago in your case....
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
^_-
I'll have you know I'm rather well stocked with lucky charms, spank you very much.
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
Posted by Jaiden (Member # 2099) on :
I have a post sandwiched by Jebus!
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Okay, Jaids has definitely been infected with Irish.
Posted by Jaiden (Member # 2099) on :
You're just jealous Posted by Melchior (Member # 5519) on :
I need something that will give me even the smallest work ethic. I might even get a B in calculus because of it.
[ August 31, 2003, 08:43 PM: Message edited by: Melchior ]
Posted by jebus202 (Member # 2524) on :
Ladies, ladies, don't fight, there's plenty of Irish in me to go around.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I am addicted to a band. If they are within 8 hours of me, my ears perk up, and I start to plan how to get there. This condition causes feelings of great joy and happiness, and is infecting my children with a serious case of love for music.
What do I do???
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
Alucard, serious business, what does it mean when you have an opposite effect than what the side effects warn you you'll have?
I just started taking Adderall for ADD, it was recommended by my therapist months ago and I fought it, not wanting to take a controlled substance. They finally got me to agree to a seven day trial, and let me tell ya - I am kicking myself for not starting six months ago!
Anyway, sleeplessness is supposed to be a side effect, which worried me because my sleep is screwed up anyway. Instead, I can hardly keep my eyes open at night, I fall asleep as soon as I get in bed. This is distressing because I get all my daily reading in when I'm in bed, and I can't keep my eyes open long enough to finish a chapter!
Why am I having an opposite effect?
(mostly I'm curious, not complaining. It's a good thing I'm sleeping better, so far I can't put my finger on a single negative effect the Adderall has caused)
BTW, I'm also taking Premarin 1.25, 60 mg of Celexa, and 200 mg of Wellbutrin daily, in addition to the Adderall.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Belle, I was taking an anti-depressant for a while, which I believe Aderal is, and it made me very sleepy. The doctor said to try to take it at night.
Posted by ginette (Member # 852) on :
Dear Mr. Pharmacist,
Some years ago I quit drinking alcohol and recently I also decided to stop drinking coffee. Do you think I should take some of your medicines to make up for the loss of stimuli to my veins? Or do you think a lot of chocolate and some smoking will do?
Thanks very much in advance,
Your loyal customer Ginette
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Where is our pharmacist??? I need answers!
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Adderall is a stimulant.
Adrian, from the reactions I've seen with my clients on stimulants, the sleepiness as night is common. They aren't sleepy during the day Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
"Adderall is a stimulant."
But it is used to treat kids who are depressed, so doen't that make it an antidepressant?
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Not normally. An antidepresant is one of three classes: a tri-cyclic, MAO Inhibitor, or an SSRI. Adderall is a stimulant used to treat AD/HD. Using adderall to treat depression in children is...completely off label and using the effects of the stimulant drug as a stimulant, like speed. Kids who have AD/HD (all types) are generally treated with a stimulant (Adderall, Ritalin, Concerta) or with the non-stimulant AD/HD med Strattera. If they have depression as well, usually they're treated with an SSRI in addition to the stimulant. In folks with AD/HD a stimulant works to stimulate those neurons that are normally active in folks without AD/HD (concentration, focus, etc). Depression is a different sort of chemical imbalance, usually a lack of serotonin. An SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) keeps serotonin receptors from taking up as much serotonin, leaving more shooting around the brain, lifting some symptoms of depression.
If you know of a depressed kid without AD/HD being treated with Adderall, I'd be asking some serious questions.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
No, you're right, most of the kids being treated for depression also have ADD.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Not most. Maybe most of the kids you've seen. AD/HD tends to bring to comorbid condition of depression in kids because they're so frustrated with the AD/HD and its effects on their lives.
Depressed kids don't tend to develop AD/HD. So I guess there's a significant percentage of kids with AD/HD who are also depressed. If you look at just depression, the percentage of kids with AD/HD would be lower.
Posted by Alucard... (Member # 4924) on :
I apologize from the bottom of my heart. I just got done with a week's worth of moving from one house to another!
Worse news is: my company is switching from an internet-based operation to a much more restricted intranet-based version with no outside access to other websites other than those approved by the company.
Yes, Hatrack did not make the list.
But more importantly, here are the answers to some of your questions:
Jaiden,
The 2 meds you were using are both terrific for allergies. The cetrizine derivative is called Zyrtec in the US, BTW. If either the cetrizine or loratidine are not holding you, I suggest Astelin nasal spray (azelastine). Another long shot is Nasalcrom (cromolyn) nasal spray, but this has to be used for a few weeks before an effect is seen and only prevents allergens from causing a histiminic reaction (which sounds good in theory, but is very difficult to prevent in practice!)
ak, If I can get some samples I will email you.
Jebus, I recommend isolating, purifying, and bottling whatever it is you are emanating. You will be wealthy indeed.
Ralphie, I recommend a few black n tans. These are Guinness draught layered with either Bass or Harps ale. Yum. P.S. Serve at 55 degrees Fahrenheit.
Melchior, Delta-9-THC (cannabis) under the trade name Marinol is the active ingredient in marijuana. This has been shown to cause "amotivational syndrome". However, I do not recommend illicit drugs. This information is just that, and not a recommendation!
Elizabeth, Turn it up. To quote Kiss: "If it's too loud, you're too old".
Belle, Thanks for trusting me to your personal question. There is nothing strange with having a paradoxical reaction to a medication. The adderall is a blend of 4 different amphetamine salts. If taken INCORRECTLY, there can be addictive side-effects and these are the ones that we most fear from misinformative sources like TV or word-of-mouth. Adderall allows you to concentrate better on the task at hand. For those of us who cannot relate, imagine how much more alert and attentive you are after a dose of caffeine. The reason you sleep so well is hard to define succintly, but I would hazard a guess that you are the most at peace with yourself for some time and you have newfound peace of mind. As for reading before bed, try moving it up a few hours, say after dinner... But I am happy that you are feeling better. Please keep in mind that Celexa and Wellbutrin can also cause drowsiness, especially if combined with alcohol. I see no DIRECT interactions on the meds you take, but do not rule out dosage adjustments until you feel there is the right dosage for you. Any more questions, please ask. I will try to be more diligent in minding the store!
Ginette, I strongly believe in balance. If the occasional usage of alcohol, coffee, tobacco, or chocolate are good for you, then I am tolerant of their use. I do not recommend tobacco use daily, and tend to use one of the above occasionally myself. Enjoy life, and if you need stimulated, I recommend Starcraft for PC with Hatrack during the lulls!
To the Adderall questions, Adderall is an amphetamine-based drug that is indicated for the treatment of Attention-Deficit-Disorder and Hyperactivity Disorder. It is not considered an antidepressant, but can be used in conjunction with other antidepressants. There are also other indications other than ADD/ADHD!
Mack,
You speak truth.
Any more questions, I will be on less frequently, but will be thinking as much as ever! And I will answer them if I can...
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I wrote: "No, you're right, most of the kids being treated for depression also have ADD."
I meant: the kids I work with on Adderall who are depressed also have ADHD.
Mack wrote: "If you look at just depression, the percentage of kids with AD/HD would be lower."
I agree.
People don't "get" ADHD, they have it. If they "get" ADHD, it is probably depression, which sometimes looks like ADHD in young children. So, in a terrible way, lots of depressed kids are probably getting stimulants, because their symptons appear ADHD-like, when in fact they are depressed. Sorry if that doesn't make sense.
In our classroom, most of the kids have ADHD, but when I start to work with them, I think, no way, it is something else. I am never sure what, exactly, as our school has a fairly useless guidance counselor, and the Special Ed. director does not like to pay to have outside evalutations.
GRRR on that. I am sure most of the kids in our class have language processing issues, but the only test they are given is a written language test, which does not realy test all the other types of language problems.
GRRR on that as well. It is frustrating, but we just do the best we can, and our classroom is very small, so we can give lots of idividualized attention. (We are not a Special Ed class, but an "Alternative Ed." class, which basically means the "Can't Quite Figure 'em Out, Don't Wanna Spend the Money to, so We'll call 'em ADHD" class)
Apology for mini rant. Agreeing with Mack, wishing she were the one diagnosing the kids, and Alucard the one doling out the appropriate meds...
Posted by Toni (Member # 5620) on :
Mmm... black-n-tans...
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Three more years till I can diagnose (still a BA)
Liz, those kids have a right to have an outside evaluation, either by any testing psychologist or a district school psychologist. Why? They cannot have a proper IEP (individual educational plan) without it. Nor will they be able to succeded in the school system. The school needs to facilitate success in kids, and this is started with the proper evaluation and diagnosis. A diganosis isn't official until given by a clinical psychologist, clinical mental health counselor, clinical social worker, or a psychiatrist.
Posted by Da_Goat (Member # 5529) on :
Well, I'm sort of growing an unidentifiable substance in between my toes...it's translucent purple, sort of looks like grape jelly without the grapes. And it's solid, like a hard blister.
Whaddya got for me, Doc?
Posted by Alucard... (Member # 4924) on :
As far as ADHD etc... I agree that communication and therapy are as good or better than medication. Drugs are not the answer, they are just one of the pieces to the puzzle.
Your ranting was heard and I do sympathize.
Mack, as usual, you are spot on. Why don't YOU run for Governor of California? I'd vote for you. If I lived there. Seriously.
As far as the purple pedomystery, I am stumped. First, I would try soaking with Epsom salts, which of course, does nothing. Then I would blast it with peroxide, which should also do nothing. Then try some Lamisil AT cream, and apply 2X a day for at least a week. If no improvement, check with a doctor. If the purple mass reacts to Epsom salts or peroxide, then well, cool! Try liquid bleach too!
In all seriousness, you will have to do a bit of self-diagnosing and determine if it is foot fungus, a blister or corn or callous, or something more serious. If you think it is fungus, then Lamisil is the best bet, otherwise, watch it carefully!
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Heck, I'd NEVER want to be a politician. Yech. Besides, I live in NH, not CA
But thanks Alucard.
I actually have a couple meetings this week with kids' teaching teams to make them understand that what the are doing is wrong (setting kids up to fail so that they get kicked out of programs and no longer have to be dealt with).
*sigh*
Sucks, that.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Mack, The problem is the 504 Plan. It is a catch-all because they have taken away the behavioral piece from Special Ed. At least, in Massachusetts.
It is AMAZING how people can spin a test, Mack. When you go to those meetings, analyze the tester. Ask about subtests.
I refuse to sign my son off on his speech plan. He is not even a 504. I KNOW he has some language retrieval and output issues, and they are not going to tell me he doesn't. When he was tested in kindergarten, it was because of slow speech. Well, slow response. We, as parents, were never quite sure how much was his laid back personality. It turns out, both things exacerbated the other. So, he sat in front of the class, got to be the last to answer questions(teacher was great with him, and gave him lots of extra time to answer.)
In first grade, they declared him cured. Why? Because he was more talkative. Still, when I ask him to do something, he doesn't do it. I used to get annoyed, and then he would cry and say, "But I didn't understand you." Now, I ask him again, if he is not doing what I asked. Sure enough, he didn't hear me(we have had his ears checked. He had tuned me out.) I have to make sure I have his attention now.
The thing is, it is so hard to get what a kid needs, if it is not a glaring problem. The subtle problems are also important, yet schools are just SO SLICK at saying everything is OK, AND proving it with tests.
I do not mean to be an alarmist, but watch your child's education closely. Get in there and bark, because it is parents who make the biggest difference. I know that as both a parent and a teacher.
Posted by BelladonnaOrchid (Member # 188) on :
Well, Dr. Alucard, I have this addiction to lurking...
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[Sleep]](graemlins/sleep.gif)
<----Mackillian![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
). Oh, and bextra. Sheesh. Worse than a little ol' lady.![[Wall Bash]](graemlins/wallbash.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Angst]](graemlins/angst.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)