Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible char, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he or she is going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs...
What do you call male ballerinas?
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
(Stop singing and read on )
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the atmosphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
Why, yes. Yes I do.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
Why are there braille instructions on the drive-up ATMs?
Why do people call it an ATM machine?
Posted by msquared (Member # 4484) on :
Well
My grandmother loved burnt toast. She called what I ate warm bread.
My refrigerator does have a light in the Freezer. It is a 15 year old KitchenAide.
It is called an ATM becuase it stands for Automated Teller Machine. It was supposed to replace human tellers.
msquared
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
MS. If ATM stands for Automated Teller Machine, why do people call it an ATM Machine. Isn't that just saying its an Automated Teller Machine machine.
Posted by Pod (Member # 941) on :
and thus calling an ATM an ATM Machine results in the rather strange "Automatic Teller Machine Machine".
Similarly a PIN Number when extended becomes Personal Identification Number Number
Posted by Pod (Member # 941) on :
damn you dan, damn you.
if only i hadn't included the info about the pin, i'd be first.
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
M2, are we related? My grandmother did the same exact thing!
[ September 04, 2003, 03:00 PM: Message edited by: Kayla ]
Posted by msquared (Member # 4484) on :
Maybe it is me but I never say the ATM machine. I always go to the ATM.
I am in the business sort of. The company I work for makes the paper rolls that go in ATM's.
msquared
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
quote:You can now purchase an ATM machine from us with a credit card. The interest rate on a credit card may be less than the interest rate of a lease.
quote:The ATM machine is located on the main steps of the Campus Center, and is available to resident students 24 hours a day. It is part of the NYCE network so if you have to you can withdraw cash from your credit card. PNC Bank is the sponsoring institution and they have a branch office a few blocks away on Cooper Street.
And that is just on the first google search page.
Posted by msquared (Member # 4484) on :
Kayla,
Unless you are from Kansas I doubt we are related. Do you have any conservative Republicans in your family line? I don't have any liberal Democrats in mine.
msquared
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
What did you enter - "atm machine"?
Is it really shocking that the first page of results have "atm machine" on them?
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
m2, Why would it matter where I'm from? My grandparents weren't from where I'm from.
And yeah, my whole family is a bunch of Republicans dorks. They can't figure out what happened, either. Switched at birth or something. Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
Actually Kat, this page and this page and this page didn't. However, the point is, just because m2 doesn't use the word, doesn't mean that many people don't. You'd think Rutgers would know better, though!
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
Why can't I stop checking the "Pull My Flipper" thread? WHY!!!?? Posted by msquared (Member # 4484) on :
Kayla, I did say it might be just me since I am in the business that deals with ATM's.
msquared
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
So, the real answer to "Why do people call it an ATM machine?" is that sometimes people are idiots and use words without knowing their meaning.
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
Precisely.
I wasn't really looking for answers. I was a silly e-mail that made me smile. (Well, not really, but I didn't roll my eyes nearly as much as normal. )
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
And Kat, when you think about it, isn't that the answer to most question that start of with "Why do people. . . ?"
Posted by Danzig (Member # 4704) on :
No, not really. Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
I wonder why I can't lose weight sitting on my butt eating cheetos. Famine, pestilence, war... these tragedies are but dung before my not being able to lose weight while sitting on my butt eating cheetos.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Not really. There is often an explanation.
Even in this case, it isn't really a matter of being idiots - its just an acronym that is rarely spelled out, and so sometimes gets used as an adjective. When used as an adjective, the natural noun for it to modify happens to be the last word in the phrase for which the acronym was created.
So, the real answer to "Why do people call it an ATM machine?" is we don't like words that consists entirely of letters.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Answer--Erik--because you keep hoping someone will pull your flipper.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
If we're going to discuss redundant reduncies, there's "the hoi poloi," "the La Brea Tar Pits," and "the magna carta," etc.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Kayla asked: "Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible char, which no decent human being would eat?"
This is for the home remedy for a bad stomach ache. You burn toast, put it in a glass of water, and drink it, says my grandmother.
So, while no decent human being would eat it, they might, in fact, drink it.
Posted by StigLarson (Member # 5579) on :
Magna Carta? Redundant? Did she die in vain?
Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
quote:Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
(Stop singing and read on )
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Stig, it's not the document that's redundant. It's the "the" that's redundant. Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible char, which no decent human being would eat? Most often it's because a) it's a cheap toaster, b) the user doesn't clean it out so the bits of burning food inside it cause uneven heating, or c) the user doesn't remove the toast immediately.
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? No one spends time hanging on the freezer door any longer than is strictly necessary to grab ice or the last Snickers ice cream.
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? Methinks the singer doth protest too much.
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? No, at that point the corpse is considered cargo. On the plus side, the hearse driver only has to pay for himself if he enters a park.
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Because the "pancake glue" that Gilligan came up with (episode 8, "Goodbye Island") turned out to be faulty and caused every board in the boat to reject every other board. Real answer: it would have ended the show, duh.
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? Because your wrist has limited uses that interact with others, but pointing to your crotch can be a variety of questions, some of them more impertinent than others.
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he or she is going to look up there anyway? To allow you the dignity of undressing alone. Or to smoke a cigarette.
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs... Because Walt Disney had some serious issues. Mainly because using anthromorphic characters is a great way to use character shorthand - he's a dog, so he's friendly, she's a cat, so she's aloof, etc - but if you want a character who owns a pet, you get that sort of weird dichotomy.
What do you call male ballerinas? Ballet dancers.
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? Look at the luck he had with what he ordered. Would you eat anything ACME delivered?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Annoying.
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,then what is baby oil made from? Corn oil and Vegetable oil are made by squeezing the respective products and bottling what comes out. I leave the rest to your imagination.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? No, that would be "morility," which means "I know something you don't know, and I'm going to kill you because of it."
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? It's worse than that, the mouse is stuck right in there with them...
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Because they both ripped off the tune from "Ah! Vous Dirai-Je, Maman" ("Shall I tell you, Mother?"), from "Les Amusements d'une Heure et Demy" by M. Bouin in 1761. It was also used for "Le Faux Pas" (1765), for "La Confidence-Naive" (1774), and "Les Amours de Silvandre" (1780). Mozart composed at least 12 variations on this theme for piano, probably as practice keyboard exercises for his students. The second movement to Joseph Haydn's "Surprise" Symphony (#94, written in 1791) is a series of variations of this tune, and Beethoven improvised on it in his second public concert in Prague in 1798. One guy, Patrick Turner, wrote a whole book postulating that Elgar's "Enigma" has its roots in the "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" tune. In America, the song "Mark My Alford" was set to this music in Philadelphia in 1794 and it appeared in a songbook in New York as "The Delights of Wedded Love" in 1795. The alphabet song was first copyrighted under the title "The Schoolmaster" in Boston by C. Bradlee on February 4, 1834. The words to "Baa Baa Black Sheep" were included in Tommy Thumb's Pretty Song Book with a different melody in 1744 in London. The same lyrics showed up set to this music in the U.S. in A.H. Rosewig's Illustrated National Nursery Songs and Games in 1879. The words to "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" were written in London in 1806 by Jane Taylor as "The Star" in her book Rhymes for the Nursery. They were probably first set to this tune in The Singing Master: First Class Tune-Book in 1838.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? No, but neither are they hamred by it. Dyslexics, unfortunately, can be driven to bouts of madness and starvation when confronted with a steaming bowl.
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the atmosphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? I assure you that nothing ever called an asteroid has ever been in my butt.
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? That's because dogs have specific things they expect from being face to face, and being blown at isn't one of them. They understand growling, baring the teeth, licking, rubbing faces, and assorted other dominance/bonding gestures, but not blowing. It confuses them. Out the window (or in front of an air conditioner, or a fan) they're just enjoying the breeze.
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? Yes, but it's like those three-way lamp settings. Press it too many times, and it'll start over and be slow again. Few people know the exact number of times.
Why are there braille instructions on the drive-up ATMs? Drive-up ATM buttons are marked with braille because federal regulations require it. To be specific, section 4.34.4 of the ADA Accessibility Guidelines for Buildings and Facilities (Appendix to Part 1191, 36 CFR Chapter XI, issued pursuant to the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990) says, "Instructions and all information for use [of an automated teller machine] shall be made accessible to and independently usable by persons with vision impairments." Banks have argued that blind people rarely drive, but it is true that blind people have been known to take cabs to the bank. Also, if they have to have braille on the walk-up ATMs, it's easier to make them all that way.
Come on, gimme some hard ones!
[ September 04, 2003, 04:25 PM: Message edited by: Chris Bridges ]
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
Dan--I'm not gonna dingle around on this! This is no Aplisea Californicating joke!
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
quote: Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Baa Baa Black Sheep has the same tune too...
Posted by T. Analog Kid (Member # 381) on :
because Mozart is just too good to confine to one song?
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Chris: Every party has a pooper...
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Re: the Twinkle song: I refer you to my scary-looking post.
[ September 04, 2003, 05:25 PM: Message edited by: Chris Bridges ]
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
that's what I'm referring to. Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Didn't mean to, and not all my answers were authoritative. But I've gotten that e-mail and ones like it for six years now (sorry, Kayla) and after awhile it became important to me to see if any of these questions had answers. There are, in fact, reasons why Hawaii has interstate highways, why bottled water has an expiration date, and why the third hand on a watch is called the second hand, and finding them out, for me, is more fun than just laughing at the question.
But then, that's me...
[ September 04, 2003, 05:25 PM: Message edited by: Chris Bridges ]
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
quote: Baa Baa Black Sheep has the same tune too...
It doesn't the way I sing it...?
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Chris: Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
quote:Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs...
Others have struggled with this question. Has it actually been settled somewhere that Goofy is a dog?
Here's a discussion on the topic (I haven't seen the film in years and thought it was longer, so this is a disclaimer in terms of accuracy of the transcript.):
quote:Gordie: All right, all right. Mickey's a mouse. Donald's a duck. Pluto's a dog. What's Goofy? Vern: If I can only have one food for the rest of my life? That's easy. Pez. Cherry-flavored Pez. No question about it. Teddy: Goofy's a dog, he's definitely a dog. Gordie: I knew the sixty-four-thousand-dollar question was fixed. There's no way anybody can know that much about opera. Chris: He can't be a dog. Wears a hat and drives a car. Gordie: Wagon Train's a really cool show. But did you ever notice that they never get anywhere? They just keep wagon training. Vern: God, that's weird. What the hell is Goofy?
Posted by Happy Camper (Member # 5076) on :
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Because your breath smells?
I could maybe answer some of these others, but I don't want to.
-hc
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Maybe Pluto is just really submissive?
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
Okay, you've piqued my curiosity. Why does Hawaii have an interstate highway and why does bottled water have an expiration date?
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
I was wondering how long it would take...
Hawaiian Interstates: Because although early federal highway legislation said the interstate system "shall be designated within the continental United States," thereby excluding islands, Hawaii, peeved at being cut out of the cash, pointed out that one of the purposes of the interstate system was to strengthen national defense, and that Hawaii (specifically, the island of Oahu) was crammed with military installations that needed to be connected by good roads. Congress amended the program and now Hawaii has more miles of interstate than Delaware.
Bottled water expiration: The date acts as a lot number and is used for stock rotation. It does not mean that the water will go bad after that date. The FDA has never required an expiration date on water, although it does inspect it for impurities and cockraoch bits and things like that.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
Why do bikers ride cycles, but cyclists ride bikes?
I always loved this story on the origins of the word "quiz."(Skim down a little, list is not alpabetical.) 2nd link: wiktionary entry for "quiz." "Etymology of quiz" was a tough internet search, there are so many online quizzes. If I had a subscription to the OED it would have been a snap. This story makes me want to hire a bunch of street urchins to scribble one of my words everywhere. Someday, I'll do it. Posted by Palooka_Joe (Member # 5618) on :
Luckily you did not post....
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from mormons?
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This story makes me want to hire a bunch of street urchins to scribble one of my words everywhere. Someday, I'll do it.