This is topic Bah, humbug--or a thread for crotchety Rackers who have no minions or sycophants. in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.
[ September 16, 2003, 06:10 PM: Message edited by: Storm Saxon ]
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Saxon, I have neither masters nor minions. I have a healthy appreciation of a few, but have only offered my minion services to Kathy Kidd, who has not gotten back to me on that.
Jon Boy offered minionhood once, but he'd just been fired from Ralphie and was only on leave from celia, so it didn't seem like a good risk.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Hatrack is a bit odd today.
*phew* This thread is a good fit, though.
*pulls up chair*
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
Obviously.
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
You said there would be cocktails. Where are the cocktails?
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Hehheheh. You said 'cocktails'. Posted by msquared (Member # 4484) on :
I have no minions as of yet, but I am sure that forthwith, Ralphie will be begging me to let her be my minion and love slave.
Soon Ralphie will be
msquared
Posted by T. Analog Kid (Member # 381) on :
I remain on the bottom rung at this time... so here I am... did someone say "cocktails"?
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
*titters*
Posted by Youth ap Orem (Member # 5582) on :
Can I be the minion of someone's minion?
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
Heh, you said "titters." Hehe.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Hay guys what's going on in he-
oh.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
I want minions. And maybe a harem. mmm. a harem.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
I'll tell you what Storm: let's trade. I'll be your minion for a while. I've never been a minion before; it could be interesting. And we could go back and forth. That way neither of us is ever without a minion should the need arise. It'll be kinda like time-sharing.
Whadya think?
Posted by MacBeth (Member # 5670) on :
Idon't know about the whole harem thing man...having one woman disappointed with your bedroom prowess you could have half a dozen with the same gripe...you thought the former was emasculating...now if it were MY harem...oh yeah family site NM
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
But then I couldn't be crotchety, Icarus. :/
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Yeah, but Stormy - you're my hizzo. Isn't that kinda like a minion?
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
But Ralphie, he wants the power on his side of the relationship!
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
Toni, I know you think this is a good source of minions, but we just want to sulk on our own in here.
They said there'd be alcohol Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
'Power'. Pffft. Clearly, you imperialist pig-dogs of the Hatrack bourgeoisie have much to learn about crotchetiness. You aren't crotchety as some kind of ploy for power. One is crotchety simply as a means to itself. A kind of zen state where irritation and crankiness are their own reward as shown so clearly by our founder.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
What is the sound of one guy bitching?
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Not at all like the sound of a guy who doesn't go along with a joke, I can tell you that.
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
I just want to say that saxon75 has already been legally declared my minion, as has sarcasticmuppet and Paula. And though way out of action, I also lay claim to Niki Avfan (DB's daughter) as my minion.
I also am the minion of Saudade, and continue to carry out her hidden requests.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
Actually, I thought I was going along with your Zen joke pretty well! Posted by Cecily (Member # 5675) on :
Ah. Saudade. Que saudades dela!
I just popped in here to say I am a free and independent jatraquera with neither minions nor masters! Ha HA!! No responsibility whatsoEVER!
Posted by Jacare Sorridente (Member # 1906) on :
I find a coalition of the willing to be more effective than minions. Whenever evildoers show their ugly faces the reptiles of Hatrack unite to overthrow their governments.
Posted by asQmh (Member # 4590) on :
I don't have any minions or sycophants, but I'm a dedicated Ralphie groupie. I have my own cult, but that's on another forum. Alas, here I am but a servant to the MSTer of the Death Cookie. All Ralphie
fin
Q.
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
I just want to say that I am no longer T_Smith's minion. I became a free agent after he failed to renew my contract after my trial period ended on June 30.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Icarus--woops. Misread it. Sorry.
Posted by Fishtail (Member # 3900) on :
sigh. How about an almost-lurker who doesn't fit anywhere?
Posted by Youth ap Orem (Member # 5582) on :
Is there a minimum post requisite for being someone's minion?
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
saxy, read the fine print, dude! Just like AOL, you have to call and cancel your minionship before the trial period ends. Duh. Sorry dude, but you are my minion for life until I let you go now... just like AOL!
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Anyone else notice that those who remain resolutely free of the minion tradition and yet continue to comment on it are also generally single in RL?
[ September 17, 2003, 04:00 PM: Message edited by: katharina ]
Posted by Youth ap Orem (Member # 5582) on :
LOL, i guess that must mean that i'm single and not by choice. Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
I am no one's minion, nor do I claim any as my own.
I do, however, now claim to be lord of the silent majority.
In Shakespearean times, that would be the dead.
In Hatrack terms, that means I am Lord of the Lurkers.
If you have any complaints, my silent friends, speak up.
Of course, if you speak up, you are no longer lurkers, and have left my domain anyway you ungreatful heathen, after all I've done for you too, the new gym, the dental plan, the casual Tuesdays, and naked Thursdays. Go ahead, speak up and leave me. See if I care.
#$@$@#$@#@#$@#$@#$@#$@#.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Q - Your "fin" was a moment of sheer, unadulterated genius.
And fishtail - I'm always in the market... ::squeezes fishtail to check for ripeness::
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Seriously - this just occurred to me. For instance, I refuse to be a minion because I prefer my adoration to be unsolicited and mine to freely give. I offered to be Kathy Kidd's minion, but partly because (1) already am in spirit, (2) due to generally being the silent kind of Hatrack deity, she would make few demands, and (3) I doubted she'd take me up on it.
I refuse to HAVE a minion because I don't want the responsibility of it and for some reason it makes me uncomfortable. It's a horrible responsibility - minions require so much care and feeding, and what if I'm not a good minion-keeper? What exactly do you have to do to be a minion-keeper anyway? And I'm suspicious of the would-be minion's motives - what are they getting out of this? Why be MY minion?
This is horrifying. Must ponder.
Hatrack: Better Than Therapy
[ September 17, 2003, 04:09 PM: Message edited by: katharina ]
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
Now who's not reading the fine print? Secion 5A of the Uniform Code of Hatrack Minion and Minionetteship, to which you are referring, only applies to those individuals actively seeking minionship. Annexed minions are governed by Section 5B, which clearly states that any person ("Annexer") who annexes another ("Annexee") as his or her minion shall retain the Annexee for a trial period not to exceed sixty-seven (67) days. During the trial period the Annexee shall be classified as a Probationary Minion and shall not be eligible for any employer-paid benefits. At any time during the trial period, the Annexer may grant full Minion status upon the Annexee, with or without the consent of the Annexee. Any Probationary Minion who has not been promoted to full Minion status by the end of the trial period shall revert to his or her pre-annexing status, including, but not limited to, Free Agent, Goober, and Disciple.
So there.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Kat - You have to feed minions? Is that why mine have been dropping like flies?
I thought they were just suppose to follow you around and tell you that you're cool.
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
Then there are those of us who couldn't become a minion. So we pretend that we don't want to. (pre-emptively thwaps self to prevent someone else developing a repetitive strain injury).
"He'll be cryin' himself to sleep tonight... on his huge pillow"
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
If I got a minion, I'd want it to be a permanent minion until they were ready to have minions of their own. I don't want a temporary minion - minionhood is a serious thing. I'd have to pass on my Hatrack knowledge. I'd have to let them in on the secret usernames. I'd have to tell the secret of how to make saxy beat his head against the wall.
They'd have input into whether or not I did a landmark thread. But what if I don't WANT to do a landmark thread? I just don't feel I can hand over that much of my Hatrackotomy.
[ September 17, 2003, 04:22 PM: Message edited by: katharina ]
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
Wasn't there going to be hors d'oeuvres? I specifically requested hors d'oeuvres. Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
kat
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
Katharina, I don't mind feeding the minions. It's burping and changing them that is so time consuming.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Lurkers are better than minions.
They are invisible, which is a plus compared to some of the minions I've seen.
They are biodegradable, low in cholesterol, quieter, and don't whine nearly as much.
I can talk to them all day and they don't complain at all.
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
Saxy, by your rules, I should be completely free of Saudade's reign. But since I've already tried to leave, and the ENTIRE FRIGGIN BOARD SAID NO then I am disinclined to acquiest your request.
It means no.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
You're right, Dan. Lurkers rock. They're arcane and mysterious.
But, wait - Dan, aren't you mine property? I'm pretty sure I stamped your butt when you first showed up, "Property of Ralphie - DO NOT TOUCH!" or something similar.
Does that mean that the lurkers are essentially mine, too?
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
I don't think so.
However, I haven't checked for any claim checks on my backside for quiet some time. Last time it took two mirrors and a dislocated shoulder.
I'll check later.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
It's there. I used a Sharpie and everything.
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
T, they're not my rules, they're The Rules. Don't take it out on me just because the rest of Hatrack puts peer pressure on you. Besides, these days it seems like you're much more likely to fall under Section 5A with respect to Saudade.
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
What? Are some of you just posing as free agents?
I am shocked.
Are there any bagels?
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Oh, please. You are SO my property, Erik.
Look, everyone do a Cheek Check. I sharpied all my hizzos, and if you don't think I wasn't thorough, you don't know the power of the Ralphster's Sharpie.
And yes, claiming you is as good as having gotten Sharpied, so don't make me come over there.
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
I still need clarification on the 401k. I haven't signed any contracts yet.
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
Besides, T_Smith was offering a trip to Las Vegas to sweeten the deal.... Posted by Jexxster (Member # 5293) on :
Hmmm, so I am wondering if I need to offer myself up as a minion to someone, being new and all. . .
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
I am free of any minions. I am no ones minion. Infact there are very few people I will treat with any sort of kindness.
I enjoy a certain superiority to the rest of you so- Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Whatever. You belong to Pat.
Posted by Scott the PatSlayer (Member # 5406) on :
NOT!
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
He owns you.
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
Owns me?
Don't you think that a minion of Pat's could spell better?
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
No. In fact, shoddy workmanship is actually the hallmark of anything owned by Pat.
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
Ya, I mean... look at Jon.
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
So, since I build houses, it's a good thing Pat does not own me.
Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
I want minions. *pouts*
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
REALITY CHECK:EN-->Check your signup date.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Holy heck, Erik, that was funny.
Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
*pouts harder*
Posted by Fishtail (Member # 3900) on :
I've been squeezed by Ralphie! Is that better than being thwacked by Mack? Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
quote:I just don't feel I can hand over that much of my Hatrackotomy.
I thought about having a Hatrackotomy, but then I decided not to, in case I ever changed my--
Wait a minute-- Posted by Bokonon (Member # 480) on :
Minions and sycophants are for joiners.
The cool kids are smoking (eating) their (candy) cigarettes down at the corner deli (cyber cafe).
-Bok (Bok)
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
I still can't find any marks on my backside Ralphie, but its hard to see back there.
I'll make you a deal. I'll let you check mine if I can check yours.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
![[Mad]](mad.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Party]](graemlins/party.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Evil]](graemlins/evil.gif)
![[Hail]](graemlins/hail.gif)
![[Grumble]](graemlins/grumble.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[No No]](graemlins/nono.gif)
kat
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
![[Taunt]](graemlins/taunt.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Angst]](graemlins/angst.gif)