Hatrack River Forum: Amusement for a Friday Night

This is topic Amusement for a Friday Night in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.

To visit this topic, use this URL:
http://www.hatrack.com/ubb/main/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=2;t=018451

Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :

Subject: Some Mechanic Humor...

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent..
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

Posted by Rappin' Ronnie Reagan (Member # 5626) on :

Reading this and watching Futurama at the same time is almost too much funny to take.
[ROFL]

Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :

[ROFL]

Posted by xnera (Member # 187) on :

I've seen these before, but they still crack me up. [ROFL]

Posted by MacBeth (Member # 5670) on :

Its funny cause its not me [Smile]

Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :

xenra, if you've seen them before, why didn't you share them then? [Razz]

Posted by Avadarrrru (Member # 5702) on :

*laughs* This is great.

Posted by xnera (Member # 187) on :

eh, sometimes I feel like I've heard every single joke on the Internet twelve times over. Which is often why I don't share jokes -- I feel like everyone else has probably heard them, too.

I can't remember where or when I first heard this one. It feels a bit like Richard Lederer. Or maybe I read it in Uncle John's Bathroom Reader. Hmm.

Well, since we're sharing funny stuff, I'll share some I first heard in college. Besides, reading jokes beats cleaning the house. [Big Grin]

First, we have the famous essay: The World According to Student Bloopers, collected by Richard Lederer.

Next, we have student's course evaluations.

Then there's fun things to do during a final exam.

And for the mathematicians, there's The Tale of Polly Nomial.

Hopefully this is enough to keep you sufficiently entertained. And now, I must go back to my cleaning.

--xnera

Posted by Trespassin’ Tiger (Member # 5696) on :

Arrr, those be makin' me heads roll. [ROFL]

Hobbes

Posted by tonguetied&twisted (Member # 5159) on :

[ROFL]

Posted by screechowl (Member # 2651) on :

Kayla

I love them. I will share them with the teachers!!

Posted by Taberah (Member # 4014) on :

I doubt that list comes from Qantas. A number of the technical things mentioned in the list are things that only military aircraft would have (i.e. target radar and IFF).

I've seen it from a few other sources where Qantas was not mentioned.

Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :

I've seen them too, but they're so funny!!!

(And I didn't share them because I wasn't a member yet...)

Posted by Feyd Baron (Member # 1407) on :

Yes, they are certainly worth a few laughs.

And certainly not from Quantas. The original list I got many years ago had the list attributed to the Air Force. Then again, I actually recieved it from an AF academy cadet. So there may be a possible source for bias. Plus, what about Southwest. No accidents there (yet, knock on wood).

Now I'm going to have to dig through my old lists and look for something that hasn't been posted yet.

Feyd Baron, DoC

Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :

People, people, does it really matter where they are from, or even if they are true? They made me laugh. And trust me, I needed to laugh. It's a joke. It's funny. Let it be.

Though, anyone that wants to add to the funnies, feel free. [Wink]