Well, I closed on the house on Friday. I had a day or so to unpack enough to get to the boxes of my work clothes so I could take a trip today (Monday). After I managed that, I decided to go shopping to replace all the little things one needs in a house, like plates, forks, spoons, and a Kitchen Aid Ultra Power mixer with dough hooks.
I think I told everyone about the previous owner's experiments with electricity. He wired lots of extra outlets by running extension cords (regular, light duty extension cords) inside the walls. Can you say "not up to code?" Well, I figured I could fix most of it myself as I am at least up to the task of pulling correct wiring through a wallspace when I can tie the new stuff onto the old junk. It's not that difficult.
I also figured that most of his handiwork was at least serviceable if I didn't overload the circuits too much. As in, you can't run a vacuum cleaner motor off of a light-duty wire, but you can run a lamp. That sort of thing.
Well, he did one particularly funky job of wiring an outlet in the kitchen by tying into the same circuit that is used for the gas stovetop's ignition system. This is pretty low duty stuff -- just generates a spark in the gas flame, so you can also run something little like a coffee grinder off of the same circuit if you had to. Well, he made this new outlet (breaking a hole in the tile countertop while he was at it. And then he sort of "duct taped" the new outlet in place. Duh!
To add to the mystery, he also installed a six-way grounded plug array into the new outlet. You know the type of thing -- on the back it has male plugs that line up with the existing wall outlet. On the front, it has six outlets arranged in two rows of three. Now picture this. It's a more or less permanent installation. Broke through the tile to put it in. Screwed the six-way adapter in place over the new outlet. That covered the hole in the tiles pretty nicely too.
What he didn't do is put a giant warning sign on the six-way adapter. The warning that would've read "caution, a complete idiot with a death wish has taken this perfectly good six-way adapter and disabled one row of outlets by removing the electrical prongs on the back of the unit. Then, the same idiot, realizing his mistake, wired the top row of plugs by using bare copper wire soldered in place running from the bottom row of plugs. This adapter, new, costs about $4. He could've gone out and purchased a new one. He could've just lived with a regular outlet instead of a six-way one. The circuit probably couldn't handle too many devices anyway.
But no! He modified the six-way adapter to make it, basically, a booby trap. I can imagine him thinking "buy MY house will you, you scum! This'll learn you!" Or maybe he was thinking "just bought that hefty fire policy and by God I'm going to get my money's worth!"
At any rate, I discovered that the home came equipped with really good circuit breakers. The breaker in question saved my life and probably stopped the house from burning to the ground.
The man, who is dead, maybe from this very experiment, I'm not sure, should rot in heck! This is really the sort of thing I would only expect from those people who wire 220 Volts to their welcome mat on the off chance they'll zap a burglar just once in their lives.
Sheesh!
Oh, but on to the part where I'm too old for this stuff!
I had some extra time on Sunday and it was still light out. So, I took some old gas and my lawnmower that's lain unused for the past 16 months (I hired someone at my previous residence) and decided to tackle the yard.
Remember when I thought I might like to buy a place with a LOT of land. Well, that was foolish. I have a corner lot that's total of 8000 square feet. There are more trees on this lot than there are in Yosemite! It takes a long time to mow. And there are various roots and holes. I stepped in hole rather than trip over a root.
My across the street neighbor chose that instant to come out to introduce herself. I'm writhing on the ground holding my badly sprained ankle and trying not to utter the curse that's really on my mind. "Um, hi! Nice to meet you. I'd get up to shake your hand, but I'm not sure I'll ever stand again. So, what do you do for a living? Neat! I mostly writhe on the ground myself. It's a living.
Anyway, my business trip started today. Try making a tight connection at Houston's airport when you have to use a cane.
Try going through security with a cane that you NEED to use but they won't let you use when you go through the scanner!
Sheesh! I wanted to just lay down on the x-ray conveyer and run my whole self through the darn thing.
Oh well.
Anyone want to take over lawn mowing duties?
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*pat pat*
Poor Bob! You might want to hire a gardener and an electrician. Might be a whole lot less painful and dangerous!
(((((Bob)))))
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
quote:This is really the sort of thing I would only expect from those people who wire 220 Volts to their welcome mat on the off chance they'll zap a burglar just once in their lives.
Are you still smarting over that? Geez, Bob, you never let go of anything! I kept the amperage low! Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
No, he'll never convince an electrician that he's not responsible for the problems there.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
I will, if you fly me down there.
Then you CAN'T yell at me to get off your lawn! Posted by unohoo (Member # 5490) on :
Sorry about your ankle, but the story is hysterical.
Ah, the joys of home-ownership. I should sell my house and get a condo. Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
quote: But no! He modified the six-way adapter to make it, basically, a booby trap. I can imagine him thinking "buy MY house will you, you scum! This'll learn you!" Or maybe he was thinking "just bought that hefty fire policy and by God I'm going to get my money's worth!"
Bob. In that completely platonic way, I love you. You are the greatest. Don't burn up.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
I'm still waiting for my ticket. *taps foot*
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
Yeah, get in line. Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Mackillian, I can't fly you down JUST to take care of my lawn. However, if you're handy with spackle and a paint brush, maybe we can talk.
Ryuko, story of my life, people love me platonically. On the one hand, it's a transcendental, "ideal" kind of love. On the other hand, ...
By the way, did I mention that this house has about the best water heater available on the market? It's even installed to code! The guy must've had a lapse in judgement or something.
Also, did you know that garage door handles are self-locking? If you twist the handle, it's locked and you need a key to get back in? I wonder if AAA would consider this a legitimate service call?
Anyone ever have an attic fan? Now THIS is really cool. When the weather is nice outside, you open all the windows and turn on this fan that's about the size and power of a Rolls Royce jet engine. It sucks air through the house at roughly supersonic speeds. Dust particles at this velocity CAN be deadly, so you should only do this if your house is very, very clean. Or wear a light coat of armor to protect yourself.
You don't need a blow dryer with this thing around. Wet your hair, stand under the fan intake (mine's in the kitchen ceiling) and turn that sucker on! Wooo Hooo! Instant punk hairdo!
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
OH!!! We have one of those fans! Just remember to open the windows otherwise they start bending inwards... Posted by Sopwith (Member # 4640) on :
Oh my, Bob!
Please do get a licensed electrician to work that house over for you. Sounds like the last owner was a certifiable kook! No telling what may be lurking behind the walls (bare wire rat nests) or in the attic. And definitely have them go over your breaker box and request a new service meter from the utility company. If he did all of that in the house, imagine what he tried to do outside of it!
Be safe and happy days ahead to ya!
(And get a fire insurance policy... fast!)
Edit to add: Woot on the Kitchen Aide. I love the one we have. Now to get the pasta machine and sausage making attachments. It's not a Hobart Universal, but my wife won't let me get commercial kitchen gizmos... anymore.
[ September 30, 2003, 10:11 AM: Message edited by: Sopwith ]
Posted by Boon (Member # 4646) on :
Personal ad: Spackle and paintbrushes? Electrical wiring? Light carpentry and tile? Child's play! General handyman, chef, maid, bookkeeper, and butler needing full time plus room and board. Comes with two adorable curtain climbers. Reply to Tulsa World, box 67.
Hey, maybe this isn't really a joke... Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
As it happens, I AM handy with spackle and paint.
Four years of college dormitories and hiding holes. Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Oh my, Bob, and I thought our house was bad. The most interesting wiring we have seen so far, is the non-grounded 220V plug in the back bedroom floor. Why it was there we really have NO idea. We didn't really want to know what he was doing back in that bedroom anyway because it was the one painted blood red.
Fortunately it is a nice soothing green now, and we've put a plate over the socket so no one can use it.
AJ
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Poor Bob.
Go rent "The Money Pit" and dream of nice Florida Condo's.
Was the neighbor lady cute? Details, we want details.
Posted by Zalmoxis (Member # 2327) on :
quote:I mostly writhe on the ground myself. It's a living.
Hey, I could do that. What's the pay? Do these type of positions generally come with benefits? Is there a writhers union I could join?
Posted by unohoo (Member # 5490) on :
This must be the week for house stories. I had lunch with a couple of people (as opposed to dogs or cats ) today an the guy told me about his house. The electric heaters are in the ceiling and the hot water heater was installed before the cement was poured in the basement. He needed to replace the hot water heater and couldn't get it out. He had to rent a jack hammer to remove it and then repair the cement floor before he could install the new hot water heater.
I think there could be volumes written about fixer-uppers.
(edited to correct a tense error)
[ September 30, 2003, 05:28 PM: Message edited by: unohoo ]
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
The thing I want to know, Bob, is if your stereo is hooked up, and if you have been dutifully listening to Donna the Buffalo?? Liz PS It's nice to have you back!!!! PPS Sprained ankles are no picnic, so do what the doctor says. I am still having trouble with my ankle, and I sprained it two years ago! In the old days(or, rather, the young days) I would sprain an ankle, tape it up, and play soccer within a couple of weeks. Seriously, be careful.
Posted by Ela (Member # 1365) on :
Our house has a lot of odd wiring, and other oddities, too, due to a former owner whose daughter had an inventive approach to doing repairs.
In fact, after my husband had been in to consult with the man at the neighborhood hardware store a few times, trying to fix what the daughter messed up, the hardware store man asked, "Where are you getting this stuff?" My husband: "My house." Hardware store man: "Where do you live?" My husband told him. Hardware store man: "Oh, that place? I remember that place, she used to come in and ask for the weirdest stuff."!!
In any case, Bob, please be careful!!! And maybe getting a professional electrician is a good idea...
**Ela**
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
quote: Personal ad: Spackle and paintbrushes? Electrical wiring? Light carpentry and tile? Child's play! General handyman, chef, maid, bookkeeper, and butler needing full time plus room and board. Comes with two adorable curtain climbers. Reply to Tulsa World, box 67.
Ditto.
I wish I was closer to you Bob, I would help you if I could.
California seems to be the most secluded state, but hey, we have everything! (except a good education system)
Good luck Bob. Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I'll see your sucky educational system and raise you one. Texas, afterall, is the place that once decided that all math textbooks would round pi to "3."
LOL.
Okay, as for spackle & paint, anyone who wants a place to stay for awhile is certainly welcome to come to visit/work. I'm unlikely to get to some of this stuff for at least the next few months. I'm on the road too much, darnit!
I'm really in the mood for decoratin' (Texas for decorating). But I'm not even sure I can order my couch until maybe November or so... shoot!
By the way, I neglected to mention the really nice enamel chandelier in the master bedroom. It's wired with regular lamp wire (okay) but the wires are spliced with those little blade electrical connectors you use on speaker wire!!! Not only that, he didn't even wrap the connectors and he lined them up so that they sit there side by side. What a doofus!
Anyway, the place is still standing.
And yes, I'm having a professional come in to undo much of what was done in the past.
And I'm selecting some new lighting fixtures that are more to my tastes. And when I wire them up, I'll probably use wet string and paper clips.
Posted by Boon (Member # 4646) on :
I really, really like you Bob.
That said...who knows? I may actually need a place to stay for a while...you never know, and neither do I.
Of course, my rugrats do cause some mess, but, to their credit, they are also very good with paintbrushes, as long as you don't mind paint on the walls. Oh, wait...that is what you want! Posted by ana kata (Member # 5666) on :
Kitchen Aid mixers are just cool! They've got so much torque! I love appliances with a lot of torque! How big a motor is that, anyway? I think it's a half horsepower at least! I love the power takeoff on the front. You can get all kinds of cool attachments that grind meat or make pasta or refurbish leather goods.
I wonder why more home power tools/appliances don't exist? For instance, I'm looking for a half horsepower bathtub scrubber. Scrubbing the bathtub takes way too much elbow grease. Why isn't there something with a big tuffy pad on one end that you can plug in and just whizz around the tub to scrub it like crazy in about 10 seconds? It would be something like a router or drill only with a bit more splash tolerance to keep from electrocuting people.
The other thing I think is really needed is a timed robotic vacuum cleaner that comes out from under the coffee table and vacuums the floor randomly every night around 3am-4am. Then you could empty it once a week or something. I'd think it could have a cable reel on it and be plugged in. Anything you don't want vacuumed up off the floor, be sure to pick up before 3am. You need one for each floor of your house, but the cable reel could have cable long enough to reach the whole house.
Another appliance they should make is a 4 load automatic washer dryer. You load 4 wire baskets with all your clothes separated into 4 loads. Fill the detergent and optional fabric softener cups, then turn it on. Each basket goes through a wash and dry cycle in turn, then you come back a day later (or however long it takes) and fold or hang up all 4 loads and put it away. This business of having to swap loads over all day long is silly.
Another "appliance" I'd like to see is the self-cleaning bathroom. This would have to be built into a house. You'd have to have all linens and toilet paper and so on outside the cleaning area. But after each bath or shower, say, it would be nice to be able to fill up the detergent cup, seal the door shut, and just run the wash cycle similar to a dishwasher. Then the dry cycle comes on with high heat like a dishwasher. And voila! Sterile bathroom! This would be super cool. Sometimes I think if more engineers cleaned houses we would have a lot better technology for doing that.
[ October 01, 2003, 06:25 AM: Message edited by: ana kata ]
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
Haha, this schmo thinks he is a member of the Arab Writhers Union and the Lebanese Writhers Union. And he's an M.D./Ph.D/Professor in psych! The schmo's Corriculum [sic] Vitae. He's also Editor-in-chief of the yearly book of U.A.P and General Secretaries of Arab Union of Psychology (1999) [hypens added].
[ October 01, 2003, 08:04 AM: Message edited by: Morbo ]
Posted by Sopwith (Member # 4640) on :
AK, on the bathtub scrubber, check out Black and Decker's Scumbuster. It works great!
And to quote Jeff Foxworthy, the perfect house when you have kids is made of cinderblocks with a bare concrete floor that has a drain in the center of it. Just hose it out once a day.
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Jeesh, Bob - a perfectly beautiful home and yard and listen to yourself!
Quick - have a bowlful of icecream and a beer!
Oh, by the way, I, too, am handy with paintbrush, spackle, finish work, tear-off and prepping roofs, and in general just about anything needing to be done. If I can't do it, someone in the yellow pages will!
Also, I have an energetic 9 year old that would just love to mow that lawn, rake those leaves and wash the car. Well, maybe rake the leaves, but yes and for sure on the other!
Feel free to e-mail. I'll stand in line behind the other 50% of my office requesting time off!
Posted by Zan (Member # 4888) on :
AK, you can also look at the Black and Decker Mouse sander. It has an attachment you can use to scrub tubs and such.
Bob, I thought our house was bad when we moved in, but your's sounds worse. At least we didn't have any life-or-death situations going on. Our biggest problem indoors was the fact that every screw in the house seems to be stripped.
The previous owner did have his son install an automatic sprinkler system and I've spent the last 4 years correcting all the mistakes he made. All 6 valves are buried somewhere out in the yard, but I've only found 2 of them. They should be near the pump and accessible. He also used standard household wiring from the timer to the pump rather than underground wire. It was great when the wire corroded letting the pump come on but not opening any of the valves. He installed the well to shallow so during our last drought it let air into the system and burned out the pump.
The best part of it is that his son was in the underground sprinkler business.
Posted by Yozhik (Member # 89) on :
We bought a house from a contractor. Unfortunately, it's his boyhood home, i.e., the house he practiced on as a child. Every week we discover some weird aspect of the house that makes us shake our heads and say "Damn."
For example, the bathtub was installed backwards (the drain and tap are at opposite ends)
The siding on the garage, which was built later, is two different shades of white plus some beige areas. The back of the garage is a different color than the front. Evidently the guy just used whatever siding he had on hand.
The basement is under the front part of the house, but not the back part. The back part, which was added on later, has a crawl space underneath. At some point, the previous owner decided to create an access from the basement to the crawl space. It appears that he did so by taking a sledgehammer and smashing a big jagged hole through the basement wall.
We only have 60 amps. It is due to my dad's electrician skills (he rewired everything), and the grace of God, that we have not yet blown a fuse.
On the plus side, since we finally own our own place, we can do things like INSTALL A DOG DOOR, SO I CAN DO SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE OTHER THAN LET THE DOGS IN AND OUT ALL DAY.
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
Bob, I'll have to get my husband to read this so he doesn't feel as bad about our new house. The light in my daughters room appears not to work, and after a lot of fish around we found out it has about 8 volts running to it whether the switch is on or not. We also wondered if the wiring precipitated the death of the former owner, but it appears it was the other way around.
Edit: Home Depot sells a book called Wiring 123. This sounds like Wiring 666
[ October 01, 2003, 10:17 PM: Message edited by: pooka ]
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote: The other thing I think is really needed is a timed robotic vacuum cleaner that comes out from under the coffee table and vacuums the floor randomly every night around 3am-4am. Then you could empty it once a week or something. I'd think it could have a cable reel on it and be plugged in. Anything you don't want vacuumed up off the floor, be sure to pick up before 3am. You need one for each floor of your house, but the cable reel could have cable long enough to reach the whole house.
ak, this is a similar idea to the Roomba. I am so buying one the next time I have a spare $200.
Posted by ana kata (Member # 5666) on :
rivka, I've seen that one. It's ridiculously small and underpowered. It runs on batteries. But they're starting to get the right idea.
I totally didn't know the Black and Decker Scumbuster existed, but that's exactly what I need. Are they sold in like hardware stores where the other power tools are? Or like in household appliances stores, I wonder? I'm definitely getting one of those!
[ October 02, 2003, 05:11 AM: Message edited by: ana kata ]
Posted by Sopwith (Member # 4640) on :
I think you can find them in both and pick up an extra battery pack.
Posted by ana kata (Member # 5666) on :
Okay, thanks. By the way, my first comment was about the vacuum cleaner. I think it needs to be a real full sized vacuum powered from the wall via a cable reel, not the little sweeper that uses batteries which is all that's available now, is what I meant.
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Are you still smarting over that? Geez, Bob, you never let go of anything! I kept the amperage low! ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
Bob. In that completely platonic way, I love you. You are the greatest. Don't burn up.
![[Grumble]](graemlins/grumble.gif)
![[Angst]](graemlins/angst.gif)
![[Cry]](graemlins/cry.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
) today an the guy told me about his house. The electric heaters are in the ceiling and the hot water heater was installed before the cement was poured in the basement. He needed to replace the hot water heater and couldn't get it out. He had to rent a jack hammer to remove it and then repair the cement floor before he could install the new hot water heater.![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Taunt]](graemlins/taunt.gif)
(except a good education system) ![[Mad]](mad.gif)