George Bush said today that apart from wanting to thank the Australia people for their support during the whole Iraq thing, he wants to see Australia because "it's a bit like Texas."
I'm really not sure how to respond to that.
[ October 14, 2003, 09:33 PM: Message edited by: Troubadour ]
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Give him a kitty. It'll distract him. Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
Troubadour, Texans have managed to convince themselves that even heaven pales in comparison to Texas. The strange thing is, that deep down they really believe this even though they can rarely give even one reason why (except possible that Texas is big (although not in comparison to Australia)).
The irony of this is that almost no one in the US from outside of Texas can find anything desirable about the place. We find Texans to be arrogant, loud and borish, much like the European sterotype of Americans.
Well, anyway. My point is that you should consider the source. Bush almost certainly thinks he gave Australia the highest praise by comparing it to Texas.
Maybe Australians should return the favor by comparing him to a Kangaroo and then lead him to believe that this is a high compliment in Ozzie land.
[ October 14, 2003, 09:29 PM: Message edited by: The Rabbit ]
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
West Texans = good people. Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
quote:We find Texans to be arrogant, loud and borish,
This is a bad thing?
Posted by Ophelia (Member # 653) on :
Hmmm. I've been to Australia. When I moved to Texas three years ago, I certainly didn't think "Gee, this sure is a lot like Australia!" I suppose parts of it are sort of like the Outback . . .
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
Perhaps what George meant is that both Texans and Australians think --loudly -- that they live in the greatest land on Earth. Posted by Troubadour (Member # 83) on :
Yeah, but we're right. Posted by aspectre (Member # 2222) on :
And Texans don't think!
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Ah dingo et mah baybee!
Posted by Feyd Baron (Member # 1407) on :
Texans don't think that, we know it.
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
Well, there are a lot of Outback steak houses in Texas.
And it does have a coastline.
Posted by Ethics Gradient (Member # 878) on :
Ah, but there are no Outback steakhouses in Australia... *cue spooky music*
I can think of some similarities though...
- conservative, relatively right-wing populous - warmongering leader - atrocious human rights record - poor treatment of blacks - resistant to foreign influence - just a bit backward
------------------
Once upon a time in the kingdom of heaven, God went missing for six days Eventually, Michael the archangel found him. He inquired of God, "Where > were you?' God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds: 'Look son, look at what I've made'. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?'. God replied, 'It's a planet and I've put LIFE on it. I've named it Earth and there is a balance between everything on it. For example, there's North America and South America. North America is going to be rich and South America is going to be poor, and that narrow bit joining them, that is going to be a hot spot. Now look over here. I've put a continent of white people in the north and a continent of black people in the south.' The archangel then said, 'And what is that lump in the middle of nowhere?''Ahhh' said God, 'That is Australia - the Great Southern Land and that is a very special place. That is going to be the most glorious spot on earth; beautiful mountains, beaches, gorges, streams, and an exquisite coastline. These people here are going to be modest, intelligent and humourous and they are going to be found travelling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving. And I am going to give them this superhuman, undefeatable cricket team which will be blessed with the most talented, and charismatic specimens on the planet, and will be admired and feared by all who come across them.' Michael the archangel gasped in wonder and admiration but then seemed startled and proclaimed: 'Hold on a second, what about the BALANCE, you said there was going to be a balance.' God replied wisely. 'Wait till you see the irritating, loud mouthed losers I'm putting on the island next to them.'
Posted by Mazer (Member # 192) on :
I find Ozzies to be far more friendly than Texans, must be all the pubs.
Posted by Robespierre (Member # 5779) on :
quote: - atrocious human rights record
When compared to Sudan? Or possibly when compared to China? I am pretty sure there isn't a slave trade in Australia OR the USA.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Rabitt: I'm a Texan. Do you really believe that about me?
Posted by aspectre (Member # 2222) on :
Of course not!!! Texans are just fun to rile up Posted by Architraz Warden (Member # 4285) on :
Hey Ethics Gradient,
Does that little parable of yours consider the fact that really, the only people God would be talking about would be the Aborigines, and not the penal colony and later nation that would be set up by European descendants?
Just wondering and all...
And yeah, I'm going to have to second Scott's question.
Feyd
EDIT: I protest, Governor Perry is NOT a warmonger. The only one of that type of leader we've had in a long time, we shipped out of our state a good number of years ago.
[ October 15, 2003, 11:43 AM: Message edited by: Architraz Warden ]
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Texas, like Australia, are mostly hot arid places surrounded by beautiful coast lines and wonderful scuba opportunities.
They also have a disturbing habit of creating loud mouth self centered egoists that ruin the reputations of all the other good folk living there.
In other words, President Bush is our Paul Hogan.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Paul Hogan is despised by Australians?
There goes my last illusion. . .
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I'm Texan. It was a compliment. He sees Australia as big, a little wild, a little of a wasteland, with very independent people who do whatever they want.
That's incredibly annoying to the people who aren't being listened to, but it's only bad if the "whatever they want" is wrong. If its right, then its fearless leadership and a lack of wishy-washyness.
Posted by aspectre (Member # 2222) on :
Aw, c'mon. Texans are just like the French
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Except " darlin' " sounds so much better with a drawl.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Wow' Asperctre just insulted two whole groups of people, millions of them, with just one simple sentence. Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
quote:He sees Australia as big, a little wild, a little of a wasteland, with very independent people who do whatever they want.
That's incredibly annoying to the people who aren't being listened to, but it's only bad if the "whatever they want" is wrong. If its right, then its fearless leadership and a lack of wishy-washyness.
Actually Kat, that is bad leadership no matter whether what they want in wrong or right. Any leader who leads by other than persuasion, patience, and kindness is exercising unrighteous dominion.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
But a leader of a nation can't wait for complete consensus, because some people will always disagree.
Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
Kat,
There is a very long road between "complete consensus" and "doing what ever you want" without seeking input from all or regard for the views of others. A wise leader does not move forward on a decision without listening to input from all sides. You suggest that it is only bad to "do what ever you want" as a leader if you happen to be wrong. That is simply not true, a leader has a moral obligation (at least from an LDS perspective)to build concensus before acting whether his acts are right or wrong.
[ October 15, 2003, 01:18 PM: Message edited by: The Rabbit ]
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Like Capt. Moroni and the kingmen, for example. . .
Posted by Dreamwalker (Member # 4189) on :
Hey EG I think the punch-line of your story went right on past most people here...
so... do Texans have sheep too? Posted by Architraz Warden (Member # 4285) on :
Well, I happen to like Kiwis (both the fruit and the people, in the appropriate way for each). So I didn't much find it funny. In reverse... maybe.
And there are very very few sheep in Texas. It's a cotton state through-and-through. Look more towards the rockys to find your sheep folks.
Feyd
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I was rather wondering why the punch line of a joke in a thread about Australia and Texas seemed to contain a swipe about New Zealand. New Zealanders! I like them already!
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote: New Zealanders! I like them already!
And we have one around here somewhere. Anyone seen tt&t lately?
Posted by Dreamwalker (Member # 4189) on :
rivka, TT&T has exams at the moment. There are a bunch of us here tho'.
"And there are very very few sheep in Texas. It's a cotton state through-and-through. Look more towards the rockys to find your sheep folks." ummmm sorry I was inappropiatly refering to Australian's and their relationship to sheep (unless there is also something wierd going on in the rockies.... ) *whines* I was just getting the obligatory sheep-joke in first... o.k
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
tt&t had exams last week, but she was still here. What you mean is she's being good about studying for her exams this week. I'm glad -- someone should. And it's clearly not me . . .
I didn't know we had other Kiwis here. Sorry 'bout that. That's the trouble with this version of UBB. No searchable directory.
Posted by Architraz Warden (Member # 4285) on :
Dreamwalker, I know the jest you were trying to make. I was just trying to deflecting it with something other than "No". Though strange things do happen around Texas A&M and College Station... Maybe Bob will be able to handle this after he's been there for awhile and gotten to observe some...
Feyd
Posted by Dreamwalker (Member # 4189) on :
quote:What you mean is she's being good about studying for her exams this week. I'm glad -- someone should. And it's clearly not me . . .
Me either
I've always wanted to go to Texas for a look. Although I wonder at the reception I would get with our 'no'to support during the recent conflict and our 'no nukes' policy. On the other hand I have never wanted to go to Australia; not even for a look-see.
"If all the New Zealanders who wanted to, emigrated to Australia, it would raise the average I.Q in both countries" Rob Muldoon, former P.M of N.Z Posted by Troubadour (Member # 83) on :
Dreamwalker - that joke is traditionally reserved for New Zealanders - not so much for Aussies.
And wacky trolly warden dude - if you'd actually READ some of Ethic's post, you would've realised that he'd already covered the topic that you tried to call him on.
Paul Hogan.... jeez.... you think anyone here wanted to make more than one Crocodile Dundee movie?!?!? Or that most of Australia didn't think "Phew, maybe Steve Erwin will STAY over there..." Posted by tonguetied&twisted (Member # 5159) on :
Hey rivka! I'm here... In hiding. Exams.
Dreamwalker, stop whining and get studying!
Feyd, *sigh*, I've told you, the people are Kiwis, as are the birds. The fruit are kiwiFRUIT! Posted by tonguetied&twisted (Member # 5159) on :
A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large".
Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, "We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows".
The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asked, "And what are those"?
The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?
Australians. Texans.
You're all as bad as each other. Posted by Ethics Gradient (Member # 878) on :
Actually, there is a slave trade in Australia. In fact, there is a slave trade all over the bloody world. But I digress.
Feyd or whatever... IT WAS A JOKE. J-O-K-E. In fact, the points I bulletted were HYPERBOLE.
If you knew ANYTHING about Aussie-NZ relations, you'd know that there is a strong friendly rivalry between the two countries. Some people really need to get their humour chip serviced.
Sometimes I forget that people can have a really, really hard time laughing at themselves. Your loss, I suppose.
[ October 15, 2003, 11:03 PM: Message edited by: Ethics Gradient ]
Posted by tonguetied&twisted (Member # 5159) on :
Calm down y'all. EG, he's Texan. He just don't gettit. Pssst, Feyd, I'm kidding.
Friendly rivalry? Suuuure. We let you guys think that. Just like you guys are good at rugby...
Posted by Feyd Baron (Member # 1407) on :
EG - Whoa, after a post like that you feel you have the moral high ground to say others forget to laugh at themselves?
I was laughing. Everything I said was tongue in cheek, and I was laughing the entire time. I figured that was illustrated, particularly in conjunction with my later posts. Guess I was very wrong there.
I DO know something about Australia - NZ relations. Not as much as you perhaps, but I'm not ignorant (despite some peoples' attitudes towards Texans). I do understand the concept of HYPERBOLES and JOKES (yes, J-O-K-E-S).
I'll get my humor chip serviced if you go look for yours. Deal?
And TT&T... I'll concede the name Kiwifruit, but you have to answer this... Are some other fruits called Strawberryfruit and Applefriut? Or is it only the slight overabundence of Kiwis that prompted that? And which did the nickname Kiwi (the people variety) come from, the bird or the fruit? (I'm actually curious about that).
Feyd Baron, DoC
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Must be the fruit. Like sabras.
Posted by tonguetied&twisted (Member # 5159) on :
Feyd, Kiwis (New Zealanders) got their nickname from the bird. The kiwifruit got its name from either Kiwis or kiwis, depending who you talk to. I think the more common opinion is that they are named after us.
While I think it would be odd to call strawberries strawberryfruit as I think of them as berries, apparently some people do refer to them by that name. Personally, I think calling kiwifruit "kiwis" is as odd as calling strawberries "straws".
I doubt people call apples applefriut. Sometimes, however, they are referred to as apple fruit.
EDIT: stupid apostrophies in wrong places!
[ October 16, 2003, 12:23 AM: Message edited by: tonguetied&twisted ]
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
A kiwifruit with stem attached looks an awful lot like the bird. Posted by stacey (Member # 3661) on :
Haha, Im another New Zealander! And I agree with everything that TT&T says because we are right and you guys are wrong:) So there.
P.S The All Blacks will win the Rugby World Cup, Wallabies will lose.Haha.
Posted by Liquor and Fireworks (Member # 5785) on :
I found this about a month and a half ago and it made me laugh, hopefully someone will find it funny.
Posted by ana kata (Member # 5666) on :
I want to see Australia. <sighs>
Did you ever read any of the Nevil Shute books about Australia? The Legacy, or Beyond the Black Stump, or Round the Bend (though Australia only comes into that one a little). He was a Brit but he loved Australia.
I love Australian Aboriginal art. It's incredible. There are amazing things going on in there at which I can only barely glimpse.
Even though Australians all live in cities, practically (I was surprised to learn that Australia is the most urban country in the world, in terms of population percentages) you all seem to have the land in your souls. Maybe that is the parallel between Australians and Texans. That connection to the land.
[ October 26, 2003, 12:40 PM: Message edited by: ana kata ]
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
I've read A Town like Alice, which I really enjoyed (once I got over wincing every time a derogatory term was used to describe an Aboriginal).
While the white population lives almost exclusively on the coast, I think you're right about Australians having the land as part of their soul: it's certainly reflected in the writing of our best authors, and in lots of Australian art (both indigenous and otherwise).
One of the most amazing trips I have done is travel up to North-Western Australia: the terrain is spectacular - sheer red gorges next to miles of white sand and crystal clear waters. (And the reef's much better than the Great Barrier Reef!)
The majesty of those places just serves to emphasise how they're so spiritually important to the indigenous population.
(btw I visted NZ for the first time a couple of months ago and I loved that too - very different landscape though)
Posted by Dreamwalker (Member # 4189) on :
Ana Kata and Imogen It's interesting that you suggest that Australians have the land in their souls. I had been thinking about this thread wondering why I had no interest in visiting Australia and had concluded that I didn't like that they were disconnected from the land. Then you guys say they ARE connected so I guess I'm meeting the wrong ones And Paul Hogan, Kylie Minouge and Pauline Hansen aren't inspiring I do like aboriginal art and music though.. *wanders off to reconsider apathy about Australia*
Posted by Troubadour (Member # 83) on :
Imogen - if my sleep-dep brain hasn't already forgotten if I've asked you this before.... where are you at?
Dreamwalker - Little tip I'm not even certain if any Aussies could tell you if Paul Hogan even lived here anymore.
Kylie Minogue doesn't live here. (But we'll still claim her 'cause she's HOT)
Pauline Hanson was the woman 99% of the country rejected - in fact, it was only the people on the land that gave her the small amount of credit she had. Incidentally, she's now serving three years for electoral fraud.
[ October 27, 2003, 05:40 PM: Message edited by: Troubadour ]
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
I found this about a month and a half ago and it made me laugh, hopefully someone will find it funny.
Sweet Jebus, that's funny.
"'Well, it made sense at the time,' Porter added."
Posted by Troubadour (Member # 83) on :
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
Troubador - I'm originally from Perth but in Brisbane this year.
I read the Australia gets drunk article a while ago - very funny, but since moving to a state where a beer is perfectly acceptable at 7am, also scarily possible....
:: Edited to add I do know where Paul Hogan lives - it's in Byron Bay - but that's only cos I was there a couple of weeks ago::
(As in I was in Byron Bay, not visiting Paul Hogan.... )
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Hat]](graemlins/hat.gif)
![[No No]](graemlins/nono.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[Monkeys]](graemlins/monkeys.gif)
sheep (unless there is also something wierd going on in the rockies.... ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
)![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)
Sorry 'bout that. That's the trouble with this version of UBB. No searchable directory.
![[Angst]](graemlins/angst.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Wave]](graemlins/wave.gif)
I'm here... In hiding. Exams. ![[Grumble]](graemlins/grumble.gif)
![[Taunt]](graemlins/taunt.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
And Paul Hogan, Kylie Minouge and Pauline Hansen aren't inspiring