I was thinking about this the other day. How much people can take you differently depending on how they first see you or if you are only in contact with them in passing. For example;
Those who know me usually (used to at least) describe me by my relentlessly unstyled spiky gellled hair and casual attire. In effect I used to come off as a bit 'punky' - to illustrate this i was heckled in my local pub by a man who labelled me a 'Skater Boy' because of my appearance (Baggy jeans and two level t-shirt if it matters), even when asked he said - and to quote - "Just look at the way he's dressed."
Well since then, but not because of it i've had my head shaved hard to the scalp (grade one all over - neat ) and as such i dressed in shirt and trousers and went for a typical night on the town. My mate was joking, saying i looked like "a 35 year old bloke called Frank who supported Cardiff City" - i thought 'twas a laugh until the bouncer at a vaguely regular spot of ours stopped me on the way in and insinuated that he didn't want any trouble in the bar and thought if there was i'd be the guy to start it! Slight departure from heckled Skater boy....
This is just a vague example and i guess i might not be getting to the point but just wondered if anyone else has ever been perceived in such different lights before.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
I'm naturally blonde, and I dyed my hair red for a lark. (I'm pale enough that if my eyebrows are dyed I look like a natural redhead no sweat) I swear people treated my like my IQ was 50 points higher and I stopped getting ogled nearly as much.
I haven't made up my mind which way I like it better though. I like being treated like I'm intelligent because I'm not dumb. I also like being treated with more respect because of redheaded notariety in the temper department. But I am an airhead at times, and I can get away with that much better when I'm blonde.
AJ
Posted by Ayelar (Member # 183) on :
I was surprised to see how much my weight has affected my treatment from strangers. I've always been a little on the heavy side (until the last few years, when I was flat-out fat ) and wore baggy t-shirts and jeans until I got to college. People always assumed I was brilliant. However, when I really started gaining weight as a junior in college, I was amazed at how noticeable my treatment from strangers was. Guys weren't holding doors open for me nearly as often, people weren't smiling at me in hallways as often, and people were less likely to assume I was intelligent and capable. Granted, a huge part of all this was likely due to my self confidence dropping as I gained... I think I was projecting an overall sense of not being in control of my own life.
Now, as I lose weight and gain confidence, I'm seeing the opposite effect. *shrug*
Posted by Proteus (Member # 794) on :
Gotta agree with that. The more weight I gain the less confidence i have and conversely - the less; the more. I think the way you project yourself influences people. People are by nature much more empathic than they realise. For example; the bouncer stopping me I had been joking along with my friend about being a 'crazy double 'ard bloke' etc. The guise i had assumed humourously was no doubt being projected.
I just keep finding myself surprised by how people can make assumptions about others they don't even know; though i guess truthfully i probably do the same myself.
Posted by prolixshore (Member # 4496) on :
My girlfriend is a redhead and she doesn't have a temper......::looks around nervously:: Dont tell her I said that, she might hurt me.
--ApostleRadio
Posted by JonnyNotSoBravo (Member # 5715) on :
quote:I'm naturally blonde, and I dyed my hair red for a lark. (I'm pale enough that if my eyebrows are dyed I look like a natural redhead no sweat) I swear people treated my like my IQ was 50 points higher and I stopped getting ogled nearly as much.
Actually, I ogle redheads more when I'm ogling.
Posted by Architraz Warden (Member # 4285) on :
Wait, AR....
Myr has red hair?
Feyd Baron, DoC
Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :
I'd say anyone who even notices hair color is admiring, not ogling....
Posted by :Locke (Member # 2255) on :
Most people say I look a lot older than I am, and this can lead to problems. Like when I'm holding my little brother (three years old), people give me these strange looks, and one lady asked me, "Is he yours?" No, not mine! And now, in my freshman year, people assume I'm a junior or a senior. People ask me for rides home! It's pretty funny, I guess.
Posted by Pixie (Member # 4043) on :
I'm a natural redhead so I've seen a lot of stereotyping from that. When I was younger it was mostly being called a witch, etc.. There were always those little "I love your hair" comments from adults but let's just say that the "witch" comments are what really struck home. Now, in high school, the same hair color seems to suddenly be drawing just a lot of positive attention (as in what JNSBravo mentioned which, okay, is always not so positive). It's been a little confusing but I've really come to like my hair recently.
I'm also petite so I tend to hear from lots of people asking whether I'm a freshman. Conversely, I also get people asking me if I'm a senior, though that one I honestly have no idea about as far as where it comes from is concerned.
Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
When I first meet people I tend to come off as immature, and I look really young too so a lot of people assume that I'm two or three years younger than I am. I think it's partly because I look young and partly because I connect better with people younger than me than I do with people older than me. That said I still usually have an easier time relating to people that I've first met than those I've known for a really long time because I was an insanely annoying kid. I'm talking I used to set out each day just to see how many people I could annoy. A lot of people still see me that way.
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
quote: I'm a natural redhead so I've seen a lot of stereotyping from that. When I was younger it was mostly being called a witch, etc.. There were always those little "I love your hair" comments from adults but let's just say that the "witch" comments are what really struck home. Now, in high school, the same hair color seems to suddenly be drawing just a lot of positive attention (as in what JNSBravo mentioned which, okay, is always not so positive). It's been a little confusing but I've really come to like my hair recently.
I'm also petite so I tend to hear from lots of people asking whether I'm a freshman. Conversely, I also get people asking me if I'm a senior, though that one I honestly have no idea about as far as where it comes from is concerned.
Are you like my soul sister, or something???
*is a natural redhead, and likes it much more than she used to (though not my hair in general, just the color)* And people love it now, I get a lot of positive attention, in fact some people started a fan club for my hair.
*is petite and gets constantly mistaken for younger, with occasionally (VERY occasionally) being mistaken for older.*
That's SO weird!
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
Hmmm... Well, let's not get into the physical, because I don't have any idea how people see me on the outside...
But when I'm first getting to know people, I'm very quiet and reserved, and just listen in on their conversation and pay attention. At that point I can seem shy, except that I periodically make eye contact to show that I'm listening.
If I hear something while I'm listening that I have an opinion on, or a question I know the answer to, or a clever remark occurs to me, there's nothing to stop me from saying something, so I do. After a long enough time of that, my personality starts to show.
So I guess, far and away above a first impression, I like to ease myself into a group of people slowly and let them get to know me rather than bowling straight through everything.
However, I always try to cultivate that approchable personality, by saying things like, "Nice to meet you" and shaking hands.
Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
I suppose "Nice to meet you" is a much better approach than "Do I know you??" ^^
Oh well, apparently (so I've been told) I'm really good at "memorable" first impressions. (O_o!)
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
) and as such i dressed in shirt and trousers and went for a typical night on the town. My mate was joking, saying i looked like "a 35 year old bloke called Frank who supported Cardiff City" - i thought 'twas a laugh until the bouncer at a vaguely regular spot of ours stopped me on the way in and insinuated that he didn't want any trouble in the bar and thought if there was i'd be the guy to start it! Slight departure from heckled Skater boy....![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
) and wore baggy t-shirts and jeans until I got to college. People always assumed I was brilliant. However, when I really started gaining weight as a junior in college, I was amazed at how noticeable my treatment from strangers was. Guys weren't holding doors open for me nearly as often, people weren't smiling at me in hallways as often, and people were less likely to assume I was intelligent and capable. Granted, a huge part of all this was likely due to my self confidence dropping as I gained... I think I was projecting an overall sense of not being in control of my own life.![[The Wave]](graemlins/thewave.gif)