I say the pirate outwits him with his charming accent, then runs him through when the ninja goes for the numbchucks.
[ October 25, 2003, 08:26 PM: Message edited by: Bugger #1 ]
Posted by Statler (Member # 5795) on :
Of course, the ninja has the ability to strike without the pirate knowing... especially a drunk pirate.
Posted by Trogdor the Burninator (Member # 4894) on :
but any self-respecting pirate never gets really drunk... just drunk enough to keep an eye on things.
I say the pirate wins based on the sheer coolness factor.
Posted by prolixshore (Member # 4496) on :
Are you kidding me? Ninjas flip out and kill people ALL THE TIME! Everyone knows that. It's not even a contest. The ninja would just see the pirates hat and not like it so he would cut off his head. It's really quite simple.
--ApostleRadio
Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
But ninjas still have some sort of code of honor that they are bound by. For the pirates, they're sort of guidelines... So the pirate would do things that the ninja wouldn't.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
The pirate has a cannon.
The ninja has those goofy throwing stars.
No contest, folks.
Posted by Javert (Member # 3076) on :
Scott R beat me to my point.
If I'm a pirate, and a ninja is flipping and jumping at me, I'll pull out my gun and shoot him. End of story. Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
And then the ninja would grab the bullet in midair and throw it back at you and kill you, 'cause ninjas can do that.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Bullet?
What bullet?
Canonball. Grapeshot, perhaps. From three or four different canons on the deck of the pirate ship.
Mangled ninja.
Posted by larisse (Member # 2221) on :
Okay see... here is my take on things. If the pirate happens to be Johnny Depp's character in Pirates of the Caribbean, the pirate wins for shear charm and wit. If the ninja is an actual ninja, than it's the ninja. If the ninja is just Michael Dudikoff pretending to be a ninja, well then it all depends on which American Ninja movie he's representing. The first one... he gets away with a severe beating. The second one... he deserves to be stripped. The third one... well I don't think he was in that one so I guess he gets to walk away but the ninja throws a star at him just to scare him a bit.
Posted by Da_Goat (Member # 5529) on :
Who's to say a pirate can't also practice the ways of the ninja?
Posted by Marek (Member # 5404) on :
I think while the ninja and pirate are fighting they would enentually agree to join forces, and then the ninjas would actually rob ships secretly and the pirates would then blowup the ships with cannons that shot giant throwing stars. Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
Dude! Ninja-Pirates would rock!
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
I'm sorry, as a ninja-in-training, I'd say a ninja would win any day. Pirates are just not stealthy enough. SNEAKY!!!
Posted by Damien (Member # 5611) on :
Jade's a ninja, Adam's a pirate. They play in a band. Duh.
~DXM~
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Well Apostle has already refrenced it (I assume, right Apostle?) but I felt the need to provide the link anyways: link.
Hobbes Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
Hobbes
Posted by Fyfe (Member # 937) on :
quote: But ninjas still have some sort of code of honor that they are bound by.
I believe you're thinking of a samurai. Ninjas are trained to kill.
But yeah - the ninja would beat the pirate. I love pirates, but you just can't stop a ninja.
(This is Avadaru, btw )
Posted by Enigma (Member # 4005) on :
If the ninja is a smart ninja and therefore attacks the pirate sneakily, the ninja will win. If the ninja attacks the pirate from the front, the pirate will win (especially if the pirate is hottie Capt. Jack Sparrow).
Posted by Rakeesh (Member # 2001) on :
The ninja would win before the pirate even knew there was a contest, d'uh.
Ninja specifically eschew any codes of honor. They'd do things the scurviest of pirates would wince away from. The shuriken are frequently poisoned, and besides the ninja could hide so the pirate wouldn't even see the shuriken being thrown at him. Ninja are also expert in the use of gunpowder as well, and unless the ninja was stupid enough to get close to the pirate (the ninja wouldn't be), the pirate would miss.
Sheesh! If you people are gonna go for these kinds of comparisons, at least be halfway accurate! Pirate would win, *mutter mutter* amateurs;)
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
It seems to me that we're neglecting to specify the actual perameters of the "fight". If, for example, it was a battle over who looks best in formalwear, then the ninja, in his classic black, has a definate advantage. If, on the other hand, the two are battling for supremecy in the ability to accesorise, then it'll be hard for anyone to beat the rougish impression that can be established by cannons, large hooped ear-rings, gold teeth and a Macaw parrot...
[ October 26, 2003, 10:32 PM: Message edited by: Scythrop ]
Posted by Ethics Gradient (Member # 878) on :
Hobbes, that is the best website. Ever.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Hmmm,
If we are going historically, Pirates were untrained deck hands who had little formal martial training. They were bullies on the oceans. Ninja's, however, had lifetimes of training.
So if we are talking historically, fighting to the death, the Ninja wins.
If we are talking about movie Pirates verses movie Ninja's, the winner would be Jason in the hockey mask, at least until the sequel.
Musically, however, we must assume in any battle of the bands, that Pirates would beat up on the silent Ninja killers. While operas and musicals abound with Pirates (Pirates of Penzance anyone?), I can not think of one decent singing Ninja.
Posted by Zalmoxis (Member # 2327) on :
There are historical ninjas?
Posted by Starla* (Member # 5835) on :
Hobbes---I almost peed myself
The ninja would kick it---they are all powerful and stealthy. But Pirates have bashing weapons----cannons, muskets, swords. And Pirates are sexy---so he would win with the ladies....but ninjas are sexy too-
Oh dear god, this is an argument I cannot figure out. Posted by Snarky (Member # 4406) on :
Pirates are sexy? But what about the poor hygeine?
Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
Pirates generally weren't too sexy. What with the scurvy and the lack of grooming. At least ninjas leave something to the imagination. And as for as the history books go, the pirates rarely got into fights. Generally it was less costly for a ship to hand over its cargo than risk being damaged. If the pirates did find themselves in a fight, they'd usually lose. They weren't known for their big, expensive well-made ships and cannons. They were a ragtag band the lot of them. Ninjas, on the other hand, when there was killing to do they get the killing done. So, 1 on 1, ninjas win every time.
No, if it was a ninja in a dingy against a full fledged pirate ship, that might be a little trickier. Assuming the pirates notice the dingy.
Nah, ninja still wins.
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
quote:Hobbes, that is the best website. Ever.
Actually, this is the best page in the universe.
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
The only way the ninja would lose is if he were either this ninja or one of these ninjas. In all other cases, the ninja wins.
Posted by hansenj (Member # 4034) on :
quote: Pirates are sexy? But what about the poor hygeine?
Hello?? Ever since Captain Jack Sparrow, pirates have ceased to be dirty and disgusting, savvy? Now they are most definitely sexy.
I think all you ninja-supporters are wrong. A pirate (especially Captain Jack Sparrow *sigh*) would just kick the ninjas butt before he could pull any of his "cool tricks".
[ October 27, 2003, 07:11 PM: Message edited by: hansenj ]
Posted by Enigma (Member # 4005) on :
Exactly, hansenj, well said. Capt. Jack Sparrow is the sexiest guy in the world and that, of course, makes him cooler and tuffer than anyone else, especially scrawny ninjas.
Posted by Correlle_Fyrebrand (Member # 5839) on :
Okay, first of all I've been watching The Little Ninja lately. Ninjai maybe a little boy and a scrawny ninja, but he is an AWESOME ONE! So, all I have to say is: if Ninjai was up against a pirate, that pirate wouldn't have a prayer.
OFF WITH HIS HEAD! Posted by Human (Member # 2985) on :
Ninjas would win. I mean...kunai, giant shuriken, the Sharingan eye, the Lightning Edge, Kage Bunshin no Jutsu...*looks around at the confused peoples* Well, manga ninjas, anyway.
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
Go Human! Naruto rocks!!!
O_@ <--- Sharingan eye.
[ October 28, 2003, 12:14 AM: Message edited by: Ryuko ]
Posted by Scuba (Member # 5851) on :
The ninja would definetly kill all, especially if it is Naruto or any of those guys. Yeah pirates have cannons and muskets but can they hit the stealthy and quich ninjas? NO they cant! And how can a pirate use his wits and charms when he would be dead before he could open his mouth? They cant!
Kage Bunshin no Justu Posted by Squished Quail (Member # 5852) on :
The Pirate and Ninja, may be equally matched, go through a grueling day of battle and sit exausted looking at the destruction of the room around them. Then they just may decide to call an honorable truce to enjoy one last repass. In the course of the meal, the ninja removes its mask revealing a beautiful..."Ninjette". The pirate and the Ninja fall madly in love eventually having a child, who, masters the skills of both parents and conquers the world through an incredible campaign of dark assasination and outright swashbuckling. THE END Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Then the cowboy shows up and saves the day.
(I so wanted to end it where you left it, SQ but then it would have fallen into oblivion)
Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
And then the Jedi chops up everyone that's left. Posted by msquared (Member # 4484) on :
My son studied there for 4 years and reach brown belt with a black stipe. Never finished his black belt testing. This guy studied with the 34th Grandmaster of the 9 schools of ninjitsu over in Japan. He is 10th degree Dan.
msquared
Posted by Gottmorder (Member # 5039) on :
well, according to the Best Page in the Universe, pirates win. Why? Becuase they're pirates, they're the best just on principle.
To quote the ruler of the universe.
quote:First of all, I'm a pirate. That alone makes me rule over everyone. Pirates by definition rule because they're so mean.
However, with two great forces meeting one another, other arch rivals will arrive, like robots. This will ensure a destuction on a greater scale, now assuming the pirate is defeated by the combined powers of the rest, then the ninja seems to be the winner, unless defeated by robot.
However, Fighter from 8-Bit Theater has shown without a doubt that he is the superior on multipleoccasions This battle cannot be finished due to the amount of forces involved.
However, if one were to make a robot/ninja/lumberjack/pirate/fighter/angsty anime teen/mecha pilot/cowboy hybrid...
[ October 31, 2003, 11:26 PM: Message edited by: Gottmorder ]
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Historically speaking, Dan_Raven, the ninja wouldn't stand a chance.
All the training in the world won't stop a bullet.
And please remember that while pirate crew members may have been scurvy ridden flea colonies, their captains were often trained military men.
Posted by MEC (Member # 2968) on :
I'd say It depends on the situation wheather which one wins. If the both are standing faceing together on some random location, and the pirate has his gun I'd say it's pretty much either could win. maybe both die. the ninja could throw surikens and the pirate could shoot, whoevers faster, and has beter aim wins. however if the pirate doesn't know he's supposed to be fighting a ninja he would be dead. The same goes for the ninja but with a lower probability.
I also fail too see how a pairate's sexyness and cannons can help him from a ninja.
Posted by James Tiberius Kirk (Member # 2832) on :
The guy with a nuke.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
quote:can they hit the stealthy and quich ninjas?
How tough can such a ninja be, made of flour and cheese and air? Little french dainty. . . no match for a swarthy pirate.
quote:I also fail too see how a pairate's sexyness
You're kidding. You have to be. Ever seen the cover to Morgan Llewellyn's 'Grana?' I rest my case.
quote:and [how can] cannons can help him from a ninja
Watch the opening battle sequence to 'Glory.' When you get done being disgusted, you will be enlightened on how exactly a cannon can aid a pirate in defeating his foes.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
I want pics of Scott R dressed up as a pirate.
Posted by Rhaegar The Fool (Member # 5811) on :
Think here, one ninja, or a pirate and his three hundred man crew, with guns, cannons, and oh yea, a ship. Hmmmm.
-Rhaegar The Fool
Posted by Hazen (Member # 161) on :
But anyway, it depends on which ninja and which pirate. It it was the Dread Pirate Roberts, from Princess Bride, he would easily kill the ninja and say something incredibly witty while he was at it.
If, on the other hand, it was the Ninja character from Final Fantasy, then he would easily kill all 9 of the pirates, just because they are so wimpy. Although it would be hard to get the Ninja upgrade without killing the pirates first, so it would probably end up in a temporal paradox, which gives an inherent advantage to the Star Trek characters. Then the wizard would wipe out everyone.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
That was the single most brilliant thing I've ever seen on Hatrack.
Heck, it beats most of the academic stuff I've read too.
Hazen just tied in the quintessential adventure movie, the quintessential CRPG, and wizardry all in one post.
I think you rock, Hazen.
Posted by Pat (Member # 879) on :
Ok, to continue the discussion...
You have the opportunity to be protected by an orc or a stormtrooper. Which would you choose?
[ November 01, 2003, 07:44 PM: Message edited by: Pat ]
Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
I would run like heck..... Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Well they both seem faithful and they both really suck when it comes to killing anyone. I would say that stormtroppers are how Lucas envisions futurestic orcs... ahh what they heck, I'll embrace the future: Stormtrooper.
They have REAL ULTIMATE POWER, Scott. You can't argue with REAL ULTIMATE POWER.
Posted by Pat (Member # 879) on :
Tony, we've moved on to orcs vs. stormtroopers.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Toni:
Don't believe the hype.
Believe Google Fight:
pirate (1 440 000 results)
versus
ninja ( 935 000 results)
Pirates win, hands down.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Remove the Computer pirates, the software pirates etc from your google search and I bet Ninja's would win.
As far as Orc v.s. Stormtrooper? Storm Trooper. Orcs don't have At-Ats or Speeders .
Posted by narrativium (Member # 3230) on :
Uh. . . um. . . uh. . . yeah.
::backs slowly out of thread::
Posted by Hazen (Member # 161) on :
But they do have Oliphants, Cave Trolls, and Balrogs.
Lets compare:
Stormtroopers: Run away when Han Solo/Ewoks come after them.
Orcs: Run Away when their own ally comes charging after their enemy. (note: movie orcs only)
Stormtroopers: Fall for Jedi mind trick, "Oh no, my comlink doesn't work" trick, "We've got them on the run, please open the blast doors" trick.
Orcs: Get angry and kill each other, giving orc armies a half life of approximately 37 days.
Stormtroopers: Have wimpy plastic looking armor, that wouldn't stop a pellet gun.
Orcs: Have faces that look like Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon did a job on them. While drunk.
Winner: Orcs. Lord of the Rings trumps Star Wars on the fangeek scale.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Dan: Nonetheless, the mystique of Pirates is obviously stronger than that of Ninjas.
Pirates rule.
Posted by beatnix19 (Member # 5836) on :
Orcs vs. Storm troopers depends on the situation.
Given free reign to choose weaponry and equipment the storm troopers win hands down. Blasters vs. crude metel swords oliphants vs. titanium platted speeders/walkers/etc... come on, in this situation technology wins the battle.
However, pit them against eachother in hand to hand combat... In this case I think the orcs have it. They are far more ruthless, evil, and used to close combat. It's likely a storm trooper would find himself a meal to an orc only to have his bones used as a crude club of somesort later on.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Lets take a look at their creation:
Orcs--Big evil lord clones excellent fighters--(elves). However, degenerate early cloning facilities creates flawed designs, more aggresive but less skilled and less intelligent creature.
Storm Troopers--Big evil lord clones excellent fighter--Boba Fett. However, ultra-modern cloning facilities creates a milder, more obiediant, less intelligant creature.
Result:
Hey, they are the same thing, except Storm Troopers are the result of more advanced technology, have more advanced weaponry, and are produced in signifigantly larger numbers. (Hundred's of thousands of Orcs v.s. Millions of stormtroopers)
While the orcs have an advantage with pure savagery, the Troopers have numbers, technology, and an improved cloning software.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
The Storm Troopers couldn't beat the Ewoks, a people with more or less the same technology as the Orcs.
Shouldn't the contest, then, be Orcs vs. Ewoks?
"Teddy bear for dinner again?"
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
quote: It's likely a storm trooper would find himself a meal to an orc only to have his bones used as a crude club of some sort later on.
Also orcs vs ewoks.
"But Grishnahk, how can I kill this little guy? He's just so cuddly and wuvable!"
half-life of orc army=37 days. Hahahaha
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
::bump::
I still say the pirate wins.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Pirates rule.
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
Is it not one of pop-cultures great ironies that the character of one of the best screen-pirates of all time was molded on one of the best rock guitarists of all time?
I'm starting to think that somehow Jack Sparrow had real ultimate power. Holy crap, what a breakthrough.
Posted by Alexa (Member # 6285) on :
It depeneds on the ninja. According to most nija mvies, it seems they get killed like 50 at at a time by the one good or bad guy.
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
It's important to point out that very often the single good/bad guy killing all of the ninjas is also a ninja.
Posted by Alexa (Member # 6285) on :
good point! Ninjas are trained in killing, pirates are trained in looting, Ninjas master their bodies, mind, and weapons. Pirates master the seas.
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