Hatrack River Forum: Crossing Guard vs. Black Mage

This is topic Crossing Guard vs. Black Mage - We need a ref. Please. in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.

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Posted by Black Mage (Member # 5800) on :

Right. .. This is the fight that started in the principal's office over who gets to be crossingguard. We will continue it here.

Black Mage If I can beat up ikantspel, can I beecome crossing guard? Or may I apply for a position as school bully straight away

Crossing Guard CaptainBlack Mage, you could never beat me up, so don't even try it. You can't apply for school bully straight away, you need to follow due process just like the rest of us.As for you becoming Crossing Guard, you just don't have what it takes...a stop sign and a vest.

Black Mage Oh, you wanna fight, huh, punk? You wanna take this outside?

Julie *walks back in*What, the principal isn't back yet? I'm out of hard candy and I need more. I was going to apply for president of the A/V club.

Crossing Guard Captain *Takes "this" outside*LET'S DO THIS THING!*kidney-punches Black Mage and gives him a wedgie*

Julie Stop! Stop!This is insane!......Can't you at least let me get it on video for my application?

Crossing Guard Captain But I'm angry now! I guess we'll wait a few minutes for you to get your camera.And I'm not insane, I'm eccentric.

Julie OK, I'm ready. In 3... 2... 1... Action

Black Mage (while the crossing guard is waiting)*punches crossing guard in the stomach and knees him in the groin. retreats to a safe distance, then decides to kick him when he's down*

Julie *Shifts video camera and moves slightly to the left to get a better view* This is great stuff! Really great! I'm a shoo-in for audio/visual! Now, could you do that again, but this time, face the camera and show some emotion! I'm not believing that crossing guard is really in pain!

Crossing Guard Captain I'm glad I wore my iron underwear today!*jumps up and beats the crap out of Black Mage Matrix-style, then takes out baseball bat and beats him while he's passed out*You're not the only one who can fight dirty
Julie
Cut! *Changes film in 12.98 seconds* OK, continue! You're doing great work people.

Black Mage
*jumps up and twirls in thair, kicking crossing guard on each twirl, then hits crossing guard with the m.d. device. Crossing guard is now a pile of dirt.*I win.

Julie
Wow, this is great footage. Now where is that principal? I can't be appointed president of a/v if he isn't here!

Black Mage
That's my position too, Julie. *points md device at her

Crossing Guard Captain
*Pile of dirt melts, combines, and forms into Crossing Guard Captain.*Luckily, I was able to borrow some special effects from a movie studio. Now, you shall die.*Cuts off Black Mage's head and takes MD device*Is this too violent for your movie Julie?

Julie
Well, normally I would say that a little blood goes a long way, but this is an exception. It's so realistic, I'll be pres. for sure! Now, do you think you could show a little emotion about having been hit by an m.d. device and living to tell the tale

Black Mage
*android Black Mage collapses, its electronic head several feet away. Five hundred Jackie Chan-Black Mage hybrid ninjas show up and start beating the crap out of crossing guard. One thousand Johnny Depp-Black Mage pirates show up and kill crossing guard.*I'd like to thank cloning technology, and, and, erm. .. me.

Julie
So this is what happens when ninjas and pirates fight: they side together and beat the crap out of everyone else.

ikantspel
Penalty: Illegal use of androids, ninjas, and pirates. Also, you have made this thread into a warzone, which is not it's intended use, that is why we have The Do Whatever You Want Thread.This fight shall be moved to The Do Whatever You Want Thread, and you shall lose the use of your right hand.If The Do Whatever you want thread is inconvenient, we can either start a new one, or hijack a useless one, I leave that up to you.

[ November 04, 2003, 03:55 PM: Message edited by: Black Mage ]

Posted by Black Mage (Member # 5800) on :

How is that illegal use of pirates and ninjas?

Poll:

A. I do like seeing Jackie Chans and Johnny Depps beat up crossing guard.

B. I am a fool and don't like seeing a totally awesome fight.

And the android use was just as legal as your uber-dorky metal underwear.

Posted by prolixshore (Member # 4496) on :

Is there a point to this?

Posted by Black Mage (Member # 5800) on :

It started in the principal's office, but me and crossing guard decided to take it elsewhere.

Vote on the poll, then just, erm, pretend you didn't see anything.

Posted by prolixshore (Member # 4496) on :

I vote c for it should have stayed in the principals office where I couldnt hear it. [Wink]

--ApostleRadio

Posted by Black Mage (Member # 5800) on :

You didn't have to come here. You wanna get involved in the fight?

Posted by Black Mage (Member # 5800) on :

bump for ikantspel and Julie.

Hey, what say we take this to the hug thread?

Posted by ikantspel (Member # 5752) on :

[Laugh]

I think that would really piss some people off. (they love the hug thread)
I don't know if Julie can be ref if she also has to film all this.

Posted by ikantspel (Member # 5752) on :

How long should this fight last?

Posted by ikantspel (Member # 5752) on :

quote:
And the android use was just as legal as your uber-dorky metal underwear.

What's wrong with wearing metal underwear? [Dont Know]

Essentially I just wanted to move the fight elsewhere so I said it was a penalty, I suppose I should have just said "let's move this fight somewhere else" but I was kinda tired and my thinking wasn't quite right.

I say we have a fight that lasts about 3 hours, at the end of the fight, the ref will award points to see who won.

Posted by Black Mage (Member # 5800) on :

Until we obliterate all those touchy-feely hug addicts. [Razz]

How 'bout. . . whoever gets, say, thirtieth(or is that too much?) post wins. And someone else has to comment before you can add another post- no two-in-a-row.

Or we could take votes at a certain number marker as to who won the fight on the basis of best tactics.

[ November 04, 2003, 02:35 PM: Message edited by: Black Mage ]

Posted by Black Mage (Member # 5800) on :

Think we can set up an AIM talk, then show a copy to Julie?

Posted by ikantspel (Member # 5752) on :

I say we just keep it here.
How about first to twentieth post?

My problem with aim is that I get tempted to reply extremely fast and don't think, in the forums, I am somewhat more composed, although not very much.

Posted by ikantspel (Member # 5752) on :

Edit the title of this thread and insert "Ref needed" or "Julie, get in here" or something like that. We need to know if Julie wants to ref this or if we need someone else.

Posted by ikantspel (Member # 5752) on :

Sorry, I meant it should end at twentieth post, not that the person who gets to the twentieth wins. The judge will decide who wins based on whatever criteria they choose.

Edited because "sorry" isn't spelled with two o's

[ November 04, 2003, 03:15 PM: Message edited by: ikantspel ]

Posted by Black Mage (Member # 5800) on :

Okay, but we're almost at twentieth now. How's post 25 sound to you?

Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :

quote:
Hey, what say we take this to the hug thread?

HA! Juuuuust try it!!! *bares teeth*

Posted by ikantspel (Member # 5752) on :

Twentieth post AFTER we start fighting, and we can't fight until we get a ref...or until we get sick of waiting.
Okay, let's go 7 posts in the hug thread (Raia made me do it)
(Changes personas to Crossing Guard Captain, goes to hug thread)

Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :

*slaps ikantspell* Watch it!

Posted by Crossing Guard Captain (Member # 5778) on :

Too late! [Evil Laugh]

Posted by Liquor and Fireworks (Member # 5785) on :

Well, I guess the fight never happened, why don't we just go and beat up Rhaegar the fool?
I'm certain we can find him in the last post thread, he never leaves the place, he's afraid of having a low post count.
(In case nobody caught on, I'm ikantspel and Crossing Guard Captain, they were just throw away names)

Posted by Black Mage (Member # 5800) on :

Sounds like fun.

Posted by Liquor and Fireworks (Member # 5785) on :

Dagnabit! I got kicked off the net for a few hours, hopefully you're still here, otherwise I'll have to beat up Rhaegar alone. Of course, he probably won't know that I beat him up until tomorrow, but whatever.

Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :

Sorry, I had to go to NJ for a couple days and never noticed this thread until I just went to check on the Hatrack Principal's Office. I can still ref if you need it.

Posted by Black Mage (Member # 5800) on :

Cool, if L&F is still here.

Posted by kwsni (Member # 1831) on :

::looks for vomit smiley::

Ni!

Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :

::sets up camera on special high-techy device to follow the action::
Okay, let me just find my whistle and my ultra-cool striped shirt and I'll be ready.

Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :

There really doesn't seem to be any reason for a fight here.

I do have a Yard Monitor position open, if anyone is interested.

Anyone for hard candy?

Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :

I have an idea. First one to act like they're over the age of 12 wins.

Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :

[Laugh]

Good one, Frisco!

Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :

I'll be Yard Monitor, though my dream job would be that great A/V gig. hint hint.