A. You need to hit something personal, but something that the other person won't feel bad about. You have to hit on some characteristic that fits them, but not something that will get you slapped. Stay away from racial, religious, or sexual slurs.
B. Stay away from generic profanities (ie. "asshole"). Those are so boring.
And, because I don't want to put you in an awkward position, I'm going to list a number of things that you can use, should you have reason to toss me an insult. I encourage the other members to do the same.
Crooked Teeth and Orthodontic Work
Yes, I have orthodontic work. But not braces...Yeah, I'm one of the unlucky fools with headgear. I've also got a pallette expander. So, other than "brace face" (as I don't have braces), most orthodontic insults (like "metal mouth") will work with me.
Strange Facial Hair
Though I now shave regularly, I've had hair growing on my neck since I was two. That also happens to be the reason I use the pseudonym "Da_Goat" on the internet. My hair also seems to grow faster than most. So you could try "wolf on rogaine" or something to that effect...I don't know.
Teenager
I'm a teenager. That alone provides numerous insults. I'm angst-ridden. I'm a novice driver. I haven't sorted out all my emotions. Et cettera.
Homeschooled
Yes, I'm homeschooled. That's technically different than a "drop-out," but I often get called one of those. And, if the common stereotype holds true, I'm completely anti-social.
Attention-Whore
As this topic is a testament of, I'm an attention whore. Terrible, terrible, people.
Unemployed
I have no job.
Pale Complexion
I am really, really pale. I know you're all saying "Well, maybe you should get outside more. Arizonans aren't supposed to be pale", but...well...it's my mom's fault. Dang those New English; and, more precisely, those New Hampshirians.
Okay, now it's your turn to help the rest of us out. Because, come on, we are going to want to insult you eventually.
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
I was born with a physical defect. My middle finger can't bend.
--|--
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
My best insult ever.
A twenty something year old friend walked up to me in a crowded restaurant and said, "Hey, guess what just happened to me?"
I turned and without missing a beat said, "Puberty?"
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
If you get to make fun of my overbite...
I get to laugh about your acne....
FG
Posted by Rhaegar The Fool (Member # 5811) on :
The best one iv ever recieved would be from a guy new off the boat.
"Damn you Luke, you have the attention span of a cockroach with ADD"
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Last night in my religion class, we were talking about praying for our friends. The teacher asked "Who are your friends?" My dear friend Abby, with whom I have been described as "brutally honest," made a big show out of pointing to me. Awww, sweet. The teacher said "So you pray for your friend Annie? What do you pray for?" Abby said, like a true friend, "I pray that her jokes will be funnier."
Posted by Steerpike (Member # 5179) on :
I've been called fat, ugly, and stupid. Consecutively, over the course of 3 seconds.
Da_Goat: eViL lurks 'round every message board.
Posted by Da_Goat (Member # 5529) on :
Whoa. I feel so insecure all of a sudden.
Posted by Gottmorder (Member # 5039) on :
I follow an infamous insult from the most infamous of pirates Guybrush Threepwood.
*Ahem*
How appropriate! You fight like a cow!
Posted by Steerpike (Member # 5179) on :
You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee!
I look THAT much like your fiance?
Posted by Rhaegar The Fool (Member # 5811) on :
If he fights like a cow, does he do it like the cow in Kung Pow, by shooting the squirts of milk like bullets at his enemies?
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
Dang those New English; and, more precisely, those New Hampshirians.