quote:

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The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.

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quote:

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"Ford," he said, "you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."

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quote:

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"Another thing that got forgotten was the fact that against all probability a sperm whale had suddenly been called into existence several miles above the surface of an alien planet.

And since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale, this poor innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity as a whale before it then had to come to terms with not being a whale any more.

This is a complete record of its thoughts from the moment it began its life till the moment it ended it.

'Ah ... ! What's happening? it thought.'

'Er, excuse me, who am I?'

'Hello?'

'Why am I here? What's my purpose in life?'

'What do I mean by who am I?'

'Calm down, get a grip now ... oh! this is an interesting sensation, what is it? It's a sort of ... yawning, tingling sensation in my ... my ... well I suppose I'd better start finding names for things if I want to make any headway in what for the sake of what I shall call an argument I shall call the world, so let's call it my stomach.'

'Good. Ooooh, it's getting quite strong. And hey, what's about this whistling roaring sound going past what I'm suddenly going to call my head? Perhaps I can call that ... wind! Is that a good name? It'll do ... perhaps I can find a better name for it later when I've found out what it's for. It must be something very important because there certainly seems to be a hell of a lot of it. Hey! What's this thing? This ... let's call it a tail - yeah, tail. Hey! I can really thrash it about pretty good can't I?'

'Wow! Wow! That feels great! Doesn't seem to achieve very much but I'll probably find out what it's for later on. Now - have I built up any coherent picture of things yet?'

'No.'

'Never mind, hey, this is really exciting, so much to find out about, so much to look forward to, I'm quite dizzy with anticipation ...'

'Or is it the wind?'

'There really is a lot of that now isn't it?'

'And wow! Hey! What's this thing suddenly coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like ... ow ... ound ... round ... ground!'

'That's it! That's a good name - ground!'

'I wonder if it will be friends with me?'

And the rest, after a sudden wet thud, was silence.

Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was 'Oh no, not again'. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now."

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quote:

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The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.

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quote:

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President: full title President of the Imperial Galactic Government.
The term Imperial is kept though it is now an anachronism. The hereditary Emperor is nearly dead and has been so for many centuries. In the last moments of his dying coma he was locked in a statis field which keeps him in a state of perpetual unchangingness. All his heirs are now long dead, and this means that without any drastic political upheaval, power has simply and effectively moved a rung or two down the ladder, and is now seen to be vested in a body which used to act simply as advisers to the Emperor - an elected Governmental assembly headed by a President elected by that assembly. In fact it vests in no such place.
The President in particular is very much a figurehead - he wields no real power whatsoever. He is apparently chosen by the government, but the qualities he is required to display are not those of leadership but those of finely judged outrage. For this reason the President is always a controversial choice, always an infuriating but fascinating character. His job is not to wield power but to draw attention away from it. On those criteria Zaphod Beeblebrox is one of the most successful Presidents the Galaxy has ever had - he has already spent two of his ten Presidential years in prison for fraud. Very very few people realize that the President and the Government have virtually no power at all, and of these very few people only six know whence ultimate political power is wielded. Most of the others secretly believe that the ultimate decision-making process is handled by a computer. They couldn't be more wrong.

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And, on the BBC shows I have the radio shows, and BBC has released the TV shows online.

Satyagraha

[ November 14, 2003, 01:32 AM: Message edited by: BYuCnslr ]
 

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Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
 
"generally outliving the hell out of everyone". I'm sure one of ya'll will correct some point of it, but we are talking about somthing so ingrained in my psyche that not even 4 pregnancies have utterly anihilated it yet.
 

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Posted by ana kata (Member # 5666) on :
 
Oh I love that bit about airports. And isn't there a bit in there about the Hare Krishnas hanging out in airports because it's a place where people find themselves in need of guidance? Only he put it much better. Find that bit for me please?
 

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Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
 
"Brain the size of a universe, and what do they make me do? Park Cars. The first million years were the worst..."

Ahhhhh.... the memories....
 

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Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
 
"Why," he said "is there a sofa in that field?"

"I told you!" shouted Ford, leaping to his feet. "Eddies in the space-time continuum!"

"And this is his sofa, is it?"

...

Arthur felt happy. He was terribly pleased that the day was for once working out so much according to plan. Only twenty minutes ago, he decided he would go mad, and now here he was already chasing a Chesterfield sofa across the fields of prehistoric Earth.

...

"What was that!" hissed Arthur

"Something red," hissed Ford back at him.

"Where are we?"

"Er, somewhere green."

"Shapes," muttered Arthur, "I need shapes."

...
 

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Posted by narrativium (Member # 3230) on :
 

quote:

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"It's a little like being drunk."

"Well, that doesn't sound so bad."

"It is if you're the glass of water."

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quote:

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Ford: It's a bit like being drunk.

Arthur: What's so bad about being drunk?

Ford: Ask a glass of water.

FX: SHIP GOING INTO HYPERSPACE

Arthur: Ugh! I'll never be cruel to gin and tonic again!

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Posted by eslaine (Member # 5433) on :
 
Lol! Thanks' narrativium! It's been so long!
 

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Posted by narrativium (Member # 3230) on :
 
I have the radio series on CD. I listen to it every once in a while.
 

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Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
 
"Sorry for the Inconvience."
 

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Posted by AndrewR (Member # 619) on :
 
“The principle of generating small amounts of finite improbability by simply hooking the logic circuits of a Bambleweeny 57 Sub-Meson Brain to an atomic vector plotter suspended in a strong Brownian Motion producer (say a nice hot cup of tea) was of course well understood - and such generators were often used to break the ice at parties by making all the molecules in the hostess's undergarments leap simultaneously one foot to the left, in accordance with the Theory of Indeterminacy.

”Many respectable physicists said that they weren't going to stand for this - partly because it was a debasement of science, but mostly because they didn't get invited to those sort of parties.”

So true! Oh, so very, very true!

(Edited to insert complete quote.)

[ November 14, 2003, 12:45 PM: Message edited by: AndrewR ]
 

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Posted by AkindredSpeaker (Member # 5899) on :
 
Haha! Thanks for reminding me, those books always cheer me up.

What comes to my mind is a part something like the following: "We should leave now or you will be late. As in, the late Author Dent."

Also, peril sensitive sun glasses.
And cheerful doors and mattresses - I love his animation of inanimate objects, like the life cycle of a screwdriver.

If anyone can look these up for me I'd love it, since Im in a foreign country and I forgot the second most essencial thing...my Hitchhiker's Guide. At least I have my towel.
 

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Posted by closeyourmind (Member # 5916) on :
 
This is my first post here. I lurk very frequently. This is my favorite exerpt from "So Long and Thanks for all the Fish". Chapter 20 page 103...sorry for the length.

'Tell me the story,' said Fenchurch firmly. 'You arrived at the station.'
'I was about twenty minutes early. I'd got the time of the train wrong. I suppose it is equally possible,' he added after a moment's reflection, 'that British Rail had got the time of the train wrong. Hadn't occurred to me before.'
'Get on with it.' Fenchurch laughed.
'So I bought a newspaper, to do the crossword, and went to the buffet to get a cup of coffee.'
'You do the crossword?'
'Yes.'
'Which one?'
'The Guardian usually.'
'I think it tries to be too cute. I prefer The Times. Did you solve it?'
'What?'
'The crossword in the Guardian.'
'I haven't had a chance to look at it yet,' said Arthur, 'I'm still trying to buy the coffee.'
'All right then. Buy the coffee.'
'I'm buying it. I am also,' said Arthur, 'buying some biscuits.'
'What sort?'
'Rich Tea.'
'Good Choice.'
'I like them. Laden with all these new possessions, I go and sit at a table. And don't ask me what the table was like because this was some time ago and I can't remember. It was probably round.'
'All right.'
'So let me give you the layout. Me sitting at the table. On my left, the newspaper. On my right, the cup of coffee. In the middle of the table, the packet of biscuits.'
'I see it perfectly.'
'What you don't see,' said Arthur, 'because I haven't mentioned him yet, is the guy sitting at the table already. He is sitting there opposite me.'
'What's he look like?'
'Perfectly ordinary. Briefcase. Business suit. He didn't look,' said Arthur, 'as if he was about to do anything weird.'
'Ah. I know the type. What did he do?'
'He did this. He leaned across the table, picked up the packet of biscuits, tore it open, took one out, and...'
'What?'
'Ate it.'
'What?'
'He ate it.'
Fenchurch looked at him in astonishment. 'What on earth did you do?'
'Well, in the circumstances I did what any red-blooded Englishman would do. I was compelled,' said Arthur, 'to ignore it.'
'What? Why?'
'Well, it's not the sort of thing you're trained for is it? I searched my soul, and discovered that there was nothing anywhere in my upbringing, experience or even primal instincts to tell me how to react to someone who has quite simply, calmly, sitting right there in front of me, stolen one of my biscuits.'
'Well, you could...' Fenchurch though about it. 'I must say I'm not sure what I would have done either. So what happened?'
'I stared furiously at the crossword,' said Arthur. 'Couldn't do a single clue, took a sip of coffee, it was too hot to drink, so there was nothing for it. I braced myself. I took a biscuit, trying very hard not to notice,' he added, 'that the packet was already mysteriously open...'
'But you're fighting back, taking a tough line.'
'After my fashion, yes. I ate a biscuit. I ate it very deliberately and visibly, so that he would have no doubt as to what it was I was doing. When I eat a biscuit,' Arthur said, 'it stays eaten.'
'So what did he do?'
'Took another one. Honestly,' insisted Arthur, 'this is exactly what happened. He took another biscuit, he ate it. Clear as daylight. Certain as we are sitting on the ground.'
Fenchurch stirred uncomfortably.
'And the problem was,' said Arthur, 'that having not said anything the first time, it was somehow even more difficult to broach the subject a second time around. What do you say? "Excuse me...I couldn't help noticing, er..." Doesn't work. No, I ignored it with, if anything, even more viguor than previously.'
'My man...'
'Stared at the crossword, again, still couldn't budge a bit of it, so showing some of the spirit that Henry V did on St Crispin's Day...'
'What?'
'I went into the breach again. I took,' said Arthur, 'another biscuit. And for an instant our eyes met.'
'Like this?'
'Yes, well, no, not quite like that. But they met. Just for an instant. And we both looked away. But I am here to tell you,' said Arthur, 'that there was a little electricity in the air. There was a little tension building up over the table. At about this time.'
'I can imagine.'
'We went through the whole packet like this. Him, me, him, me...'
'The whole packet?'
'Well it was only eight biscuits but it seemed like a lifetime of biscuits we were getting through at this point. Gladiators could hardly have had a tougher time.'
'Gladiators,' said Fenchurch, 'would have had to do it in the sun. More physically gruelling.'
'There is that. So. When the empty packet was lying between us the man at last got up, having done his worst, and left. I heaved a sigh of relief, of course. As it happened, my train was announced a moment or two later, so I finished my coffee, stood up, picked up the newspaper, and underneath the newspaper...'
'Yes?'
'Were my biscuits.'
'What?' said Fenchurch. 'What?'
'True.'
'No!' She gasped and tossed herself back on the grass laughing. She sat up again.
'You complete nitwit,' she hooted, 'you almost completely and utterly foolish person.'
 

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Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
 
(Welcome Closeyourmind. Post more often)

I don't have an exact quote, but I have often been intrigued by the idea that the secret to flying is the ability to fall down and miss the ground.

I have tried this on many occasions, but have never had the misfortune to actually miss the ground.

One time, after a bout of heavy alcoholic consumption, I was sure I would miss the ground, since it was dancing around and playing hard to get, but as luck would have it, I hit it farely easily.

[ November 14, 2003, 12:54 PM: Message edited by: Dan_raven ]
 

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Posted by tabithecat (Member # 5228) on :
 
don't know if it's exact but:
"...only it was Phil than and you didn't have the extra head"
 

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Posted by Shepard (Member # 5613) on :
 
"42" But I guess thats the obvious one...
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
I’m doing this from memory

A long time ago, when men were real men, women were real women, and small, furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small, furry creatures from Alpha Centauri...

From the same monologue

And men dared to ... boldly split infinitives that no man had split before. And thus was the empire formed.

And of course,

Why’s it all in hardware. Arthur’s daughter after disassembling his Swiss watch.
 

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Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
 
Also doing this from memory, so won't be completely verbatim, but you'll get the general gist, I'm sure...

"I refuse to prove that I exist" Says God, "for proof denies faith and without faith I am nothing."

"But," Replies man, "The babelfish is such an incredibly useful creation, that it can only be seen as proof of your existance, and therefore, by your own rationale, you don't exist."

"Oh. I hadn't thought of that," says God and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

"Well that was easy." says mankind, then goes on to try to prove that black is white, and gets killed on a Zebra crossing.
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
As a side note, Neil Gaiman has written a biography of Douglas Adams that came out two weeks ago. It's an intriguing read and presents a picture of a complex and often difficult -- but generally well-meaning -- man.
 

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Posted by BYuCnslr (Member # 1857) on :
 
Finally! The biography is out! I'm going to go to the bookstore tomorrow and pray they they have it. Along the lines of DNA, has anyone ever read his book "Last Chance to See?" Sadly, it was yes least sold book, but his favorite one to write, the man loved animals with a passion.
Also, has anyone ever played Starship Titanic? I've been trying to get a copy of the game, but haven't been able to find a single copy. :-(
Satyagraha

[ November 15, 2003, 12:53 PM: Message edited by: BYuCnslr ]
 

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Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 

quote:

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Most solutions seemed concerned with movements of small green pieces of paper, which was rather strange, since it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.

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Or Something to that effect; I seem to have mislaid my first book.
 

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Posted by ana kata (Member # 5666) on :
 
Bernard, yes and yes. I read that book when I found it on the shelf of a friend of mine. So I don't have a copy. It was great. I gather it was a BBC tv series he did, and this was the companion book.

I also played Starship Titanic a bit. I'm afraid it was on an old hard disk that died, though. It was sort of like a drawing room mystery. You went around and had dialogues with different characters to figure out what was going on. I didn't really get into it. Just read the first layer of dialogues.

Didn't you love the whole Rhino Climb thing in Salmon of Doubt? <laughs> "Mad Dogs having thrown in the towel long ago."

[ November 15, 2003, 01:57 PM: Message edited by: ana kata ]
 

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Posted by Poseidon (Member # 5862) on :
 
"... and then one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man was nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for change..."
 

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Posted by plaid (Member # 2393) on :
 
Here's an interview with Neil Gaiman about the Douglas Adams book he wrote ("Don't Panic") -- he wrote it in 1987, and for the new edition another writer added some more chapters to cover later stuff:

http://www.scifi.com/sfw/advance/24_interview.html
 

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Posted by plaid (Member # 2393) on :
 
Update: just finished Don't Panic. It's a very smart read, with lots of fun bits of info about Hitchhiker's. It's not a regular biography -- it focuses on Hitchhiker's and other things Adams wrote. Very much recommended.
 

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Posted by Wonko The Sane (Member # 2945) on :
 

 

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Posted by Dude Love (Member # 2437) on :
 
yeah, that dialogue kidred quoted is my favorite. It's something like:

Slartibartfast: We must hurry, or you'll be late.
A.D.: Late for what?
Slartibartfast: What is your name, earthman?
A.D.: Dent. Arthur Dent.
Slartibarfast: You will be late, as in the late Dentarthurdent. It's sort of a threat, you see. I'm afraid I'm not very good at them.

I really wanted John Cleese to play Slartibartfast in the movie.
 

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Posted by Dude Love (Member # 2437) on :
 
Also, there's casting news on the movie:

http://www.dailyhaggis.com/archives/film/000587.html

I'm already in love with Trillian.
 

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Posted by Wonko The Sane (Member # 2945) on :
 
everyone useing all my fav quotes


 

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Posted by Happy Camper (Member # 5076) on :
 
In reply to Dan's bit on flying, I actually use the quote in my IM profile so I've got it here.

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of flying.
There is an art, it says, or, rather, a knack to flying.
The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Life, The Universe, and Everything, Douglas Adams
 

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Posted by AvidReader (Member # 6007) on :
 
Two contestants would sit on either side of a table, with a glass in front of each of them.

Between them would be placed a bottle of Old Janx Spirit (as immortalized in that ancient Orion mining song, "Oh, don't give me none more of that Old Janx Spirit/No, don't you give me none more of that Old Janx Spirit/For my head will fly, my tongue will lie, my eyes will fry and I may die/Won't you pour me one more of that sinful Old Janx Spirit.")

Each of the two contestants would then concentrate their will on the bottle and attempt to tip it and pour spirit in the glass of his opponent, who would then have to drink it.

The bottle would then be refilled. The game would be played again. And again.

Once you started to lose you would probably keep losing, because one of the effects of Janx Spirit is to depress telepsychic power.

As soon as a predetermined quantity had been consumed, the final loser would have to perform a forfeit, which was usually obscenely biological.

Ford Prefect usually played to lose.
 

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Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
 
"he's so unhip, I'm amazed his bum doesn't fall off."

Prak on Truth:
There's not nearly as much of it as people suppose.
 

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Posted by TimeTim (Member # 2768) on :
 


This is going to keep me smiling for days.

 

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Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
 
He felt his ribs, and it hurt. He felt his shoulder, and it hurt, too. So did his leg. Eventually he figured out that his wrist was sprained.

I think that was it. This is tough without the book, you know. By the way, did anyone understand exactly what went on with Ford as he got to earth in So Long and Thanks For All the Fish? Or was not getting it the point?

Some more:

This, clearly, was a man you only dared to cross with sherpas.

"The interesting thing about space," said Slartibartfast, "is how terribly dull it is."
 

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Posted by Happy Camper (Member # 5076) on :
 
Just came across a nice quote I thought I'd add.

"Arthur felt happy. He was terribly pleased that the day was for once working out so much according to plan. Only twenty minutes ago he had decided he would go mad, and now here he was already chasing a Chesterfield sofa across the fields of prehistoric Earth."
 

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Posted by FlyingCow (Member # 2150) on :
 
One of my favorites, which, like so many of my favorites, was left entirely out of the movie:

"Grunthos is reported to have been 'disappointed' by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his twelve-book epic entitled /My Favorite Gurgles/ when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save life and civilization, leaped straight up through his neck and throttled his brain."

Another one I just stumbled on:

"Therefore we must be mad."
"Nice day for it."
"Yes," said a passing maniac.
"Who was that?" asked Arthur.
"Who--the man with the five heads and the elderberry bush full of kippers?"
"Yes."
"I don't know. Just someone."
"Ah."
 

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Posted by SteveRogers (Member # 7130) on :
 
" The knack of flying is to throw yourself at the ground.....and miss." I always liked that one myself.
 

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